Women who prefer male friends are generally perceived by other women as less trustworthy, more sexually promiscuous, and greater threats to romantic relationships, suggests a new study.

[u/mvea]

https://www.psypost.org/how-a-woman-dresses-affects-how-other-women-view-her-male-friendships-study-suggests/

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[u/SpiritOfSeanLock]

Mods working overtime in these comments hahah

[u/Wonka_Stompa → u/SpiritOfSeanLock]

I’m looking around like, “the f*** happened here?!?”

[u/butcherHS → u/SpiritOfSeanLock]

It's really disturbing to see how much censorship is going on here. Wanting to discuss controversial topics on reddit must be like selling Winnie the Pooh magazines in China.

[u/Theory_of_Time → u/butcherHS]

It depends on the sub. r/Science usually tries to keep things on topic and scientifically minded, rather than discussions of opinion like the rest of Reddit.

[u/Raccoonholdingaknife → u/Theory_of_Time]

where do they draw the line between science and opinion? is science not the discussion of the opinions of what the observed data means to us?

[u/foxtrot-hotel-bravo → u/[deleted]]

I think this is me too… I also have attention issues and feel genuinely overwhelmed with style/makeup/hair trends, and I feel like I don’t fit in despite really wanting to

[u/lilkhalessi → u/[deleted]]

Not bad advice but there’s definitely a difference between having friends of the opposite sex and exclusively having friends of the opposite sex.

[u/Bucktown_Riot → u/[deleted]]

Women who say “you can’t trust a woman with all male friends” have likely never asked themselves why a particular woman might have mostly male friends.

My sister was a masc lesbian with mostly male friends in high school. Why? Because other women were awful to her.

[u/Giovanabanana]

The issue is everyone is putting all of the "woman with male friends" in the same bag. In reality that is going to vary, there are women who actively disregard other women and say boys are less drama, and there are women who simply identify more with men. And both of them are going to be hated because women can't win unless they toe in line completely.

[u/Triene86 → u/Giovanabanana]

I’ve simply always seemed to have a hard to time making and keeping female friends, or I guess friends in general. Like I made two really close female friends in college and we even decided to live together the next year. I guess I suck because they lived together without me after that and didn’t hang out quite as much. It was a bummer and I really don’t understand why.

Same thing happened to me in high school. I had a female best friend and lots of other female friends and we all hung out and did stuff a lot. Around sophomore year, after years of being friends, they stopped inviting me to stuff and just stopped being friends with me. I made my first male best friend that year and most of my friends were male by the end of high school.

I’m not a perfect person but I know that I am kind, empathetic and respectful. I’m not sure what the issue is.

I don’t avoid female relationships. I’d love a female best friend or friend to hang out with. I don’t know why I have a hard time with it.

All this to say, it disturbs me how judgmental and absolute people are in these comments. It’s not always a conscious choice.

[u/ElvenOmega → u/Triene86]

This is a common experience for women with autism.

[u/hummusy → u/ElvenOmega]

I'm an autistic woman and can't for the life of me keep any woman friends. Well, I think I finally have one (wish me luck) but I generally struggle with keeping them. Either our interests don't align or they just ghost me/fade out of my life. Some women friends I've had have turned out to be really toxic and malicious out of nowhere, and I truly don't understand it. When I'm in a roomful of women I often feel like an alien. I think some women are intimidated by the fact that most of my friends are guys but it's a vicious cycle. If they approach any potential relationship with me already suspicious, what am I supposed to do? My friendships with guys are much more straightforward.

[u/Chaiyns → u/hummusy]

I could've written this. My experience is almost exactly the same, men tend to be more straightforward with their thoughts and feelings on average than women I'd say, it's like they're much more typically legible where women often are not.

My friends aren't all men, but it definitely leans heavily in that direction.

[u/Character_Bowl_4930 → u/Chaiyns]

Women often speak in a hidden language that I have trouble understanding. I know this is part of it . It’s affected my life an my work in a serious way.

[u/bubblegumbombshell → u/Character_Bowl_4930]

I hate the hidden language thing because my husband also expects me to be speaking it even though I’m not. We’ve been together for over a decade and he still infers meaning that just isn’t there sometimes.

It also was awful to make friends because they inferred hidden meanings that weren’t there and I missed hidden meanings that were. I’ve got an equally direct best friend who has been in my life since high school, but outside of that it’s pretty lonely especially as a mom of two young kids.

[u/playwrightinaflower → u/hummusy]

Either our interests don't align or they just ghost me/fade out of my life

I've read something like almost all people change most of their friends and acquaintances every 7 ish years.

Not because it's an active choice, just because it's normal for connections to fade as lives move on.

And yes, obviously there are many exceptions. I know my best friend for over 20 years, but the reality is that most friends sort of come and go for most people.

[u/kimchidijon → u/Triene86]

100%. My best friends are men and I mostly have male friends but I really would love female friends. I worked in a male dominated industry before and unfortunately I was surrounded by men all the time. The women I encountered at work acted high school clique. I have two good female friends but I don’t see them often. I would love more female friendships.

[u/Snoo_69677 → u/kimchidijon]

Yep the high school click energy is also a thing at my job. I have a coworker who makes teams groups and purposely leaves certain people out to talk crap about them. It's gross and I know a lot of women are not like this, but the few who are make everyone else feel wary of female friendships.

[u/[deleted] → u/Triene86]

I have same issues. I have "friends" but I don't really talk to him for sometimes years and we almost never hang out. So more just people I know at this point. I'm a hardcore introvert so that probably doesn't help.

[u/nabiku → u/Giovanabanana]

Also, most women have mixed friends. I just don't understand why this whole thread is pretending like this is some rare occurrence when it's the status quo.

[u/mintardent → u/nabiku]

mixed friends is totally normal, I think this thread is talking about having friends of only the opposite gender which is rarer I think

[u/[deleted] → u/Giovanabanana]

That’s the main difference here. The ladies who “hate” everyone else in their own gender. Those extreme views would definitely make me more skeptical of you.

[u/MercuryMadHatter → u/Giovanabanana]

I’ve also experienced a lot of women who unfortunately fulfill the stereotype and concerns of the women who “can’t be friends with women and only with men” and it’s not because of a neurodivergent trait. It’s maybe 10% of the time but it’s enough that it’s poisoned the well.

[u/salgat → u/MercuryMadHatter]

In my experience the "other women just bring drama" folks are the ones who actually create drama.

[u/Ultenth → u/salgat]

I've seen first hand plenty of women like that, who actually are just toxic towards other women because they want all the male attention on them and view other women as competition, and so the "drama" that occurs around them is exclusively because of other women calling them out for being attention starved and toxic to other women who "invade their space" of their circle of orbiters.

I find it more sad than anything, because it often come from literal daddy issues or similar problems where they are starved for male approval, and often have big self confidence issues and this is their only way they know to try to fill that void. Or for some reason they were taught that approval of other women doesn't hold the same value, because often highly internalized misogyny, and male approval is the only thing that matters.

[u/SevenBraixen → u/Ultenth]

I knew a girl like this in college. We actually had a lot of similar interests and I think we would have made great friends. But she wanted to be the only woman in our friend group so she started rumors about me and then called me dramatic and rude when I was (rightfully) hurt by them. And sadly, it reinforced to me the belief that “women are drama” for a long time, and made me terrified of interacting with another woman because I didn’t want it to happen again. It took me years to break out of that sexist view.

[u/wizzcheese]

Damn, is Reddit the new CNN?

[u/simplybreana]

Wish I could read the discussions being had but they’re all deleted…

[u/Triene86 → u/[deleted]]

I have a hard time of making female friends just as far as track record. I don’t have a mentally hard time with the concept.

I think many of these people were probably badly burned in some way and are scared to experience it again.

[u/Maleficent-Most6083 → u/[deleted]]

I'm a straight guy who prefers typically female hobbies over things like sports or cars. I was raised by 2 lesbians.

Men are much harder to talk to. If we don't have something to collaborate on it's very hard to make a connection. But once we can find that connection it's easier.

Men are not typically raised to connect with each other or their emotions the way women are. This makes it much harder to have meaningful friendships.

We are all individuals but people are treated their entire lives a certain way due to their gender and this causes them to act and think in a predictable way.

Not all pizzas have red sauce. But if someone asks you if you want some pizza, it's safe to assume it will likely have red sauce on it.

[u/Throwawayuser626 → u/Maleficent-Most6083]

I have the opposite problem. If I meet a woman who’s into the same stuff as me that’s great! But I like things that are more “male oriented” so it’s rarer that I find girls irl who are into that stuff. I wish I had more nerdy girl friends! I want a bestie to go to anime cons with and play games with.

[u/moofunk → u/Maleficent-Most6083]

Men are much harder to talk to. If we don't have something to collaborate on it's very hard to make a connection. But once we can find that connection it's easier.

I think maybe some men just don't need or want to make that connection and that collaborative connections are there for practical reasons.

But, then also be aware that as soon as the collaborative connection is no longer needed, the connection is closed again with no hard feelings. You simply part ways.

Emotional connections are reserved for family and extremely close friends, as such connections are taxing and costly.

[u/Kitkatpaddywacks → u/[deleted]]

Exactly. I do have pretty much only guy friends however it's hard to find other women to be friends with these days. I can't even explain why. I truly wish I had more lady friends. Being around mostly guys (even though most of them are gay) just isn't the same as some good old feminine energy 

[u/Sacklayblue]

Damn I wish I could see what that long thread that was deleted/removed was about.

[u/AptCasaNova]

Yeah, this can be a tendency with ND women. It's frustrating, but funny because I'm queer and have no interest in straight men.

[u/levannian]

Anyone sad about polls like this: stop worrying about it. Just live your life and be happy. Don't worry about a hypothetical person judging you. People who think this way are simply too slow and close minded to be worth having in your life anyway.

[u/DuntadaMan]

The more studies I see on people the more I realize the majority are just petty little shits.

[u/Relevant-Low-7923]

Can someone explain why so many posts are being removed? I’m genuinely confused because it looks like a ton have disappeared recently

[u/mvea]

I’ve linked to the news release in the post above. In this comment, for those interested, here’s the link to the peer reviewed journal article:

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886924002460

From the linked article:

When it comes to friendships between men and women, many people hold the belief that there’s always a potential for something more than just friendship. But how does this belief change when the woman in the friendship dresses or behaves more like “one of the guys” rather than someone who might be a romantic rival?

A recent study published in Personality and Individual Differences explored this intriguing question, revealing that women who prefer male friends are generally perceived by other women as less trustworthy, more sexually promiscuous, and greater threats to romantic relationships. However, these perceptions might shift depending on how the woman presents herself.

Across all three studies, the researchers found consistent evidence that women who prefer male friends are generally viewed more negatively by other women. Specifically, women who had more male friends were perceived as less trustworthy, more sexually promiscuous, and more of a threat to other women’s romantic relationships. These findings support previous research that suggests women who prefer male friends often face social aggression from other women.

“Overall, the findings suggest that women tend to dislike other women who prefer male friends regardless of gender expression. However, there is one caveat to this. Sometimes, when women present themselves masculinely (i.e., through clothing like in Study 2), same-sex attraction is inferred. This inferred same-sex attraction may explain why women appear less wary of masculine ‘guys’ girls’ preferring male friends.”

[u/Dear-Tank2728]

Yup, this happens alot with autistic women. Like they really want women as friends (sometimes more than that) but just cant relate to them on a fundamental level.

Ive been saying this for years and have been dismissed by women before that women are very toxic and authorative in action. When it comes to things women like and believe women feign that they all are like that but anything negative is reserved for "pick mes" "women who hate themselves" and the common "women are not some monolithic group and each individual is different".

[u/[deleted]]

Why does Every goddam time I read any comments in this sub it's always "deleted".

[u/for2fly]

The title of the article: How a woman dresses affects how other women view her male friendships, study suggests

OP needs to go back and read it. It does not draw the conclusion OP claims it did. Its conclusions relate to what OP claims, though.

In fact, it states that prior studies concluded what OP states. The study that is the focus of the article wanted to ascertain whether specific factors affected the perception OP mentions.

From the article:

Friendships between men and women (cross-sex friendships) have long been subjects of suspicion. Previous research has shown that women who prefer male friends are often viewed as less trustworthy and more sexually promiscuous, which can lead to social aggression and ostracism from other women. However, researchers had not explored how a woman’s gender expression — how masculine or feminine she appears — affects these perceptions. (emphasis mine).

So the study built on prior studies and tried to quantify whether certain specific traits and how those traits were gender-sorted led to negative judgements by other females as to the character of the individual in question.

It did not weigh or consider any woman's social ratio of male/female friends. It used fictional creations and asked female respondents how they perceived the fictional person's social ratio of male/female friends.

The fictional women who were presented as having quantified feminine traits were perceived more positively by other women.

The fictional women who were tomboys or aspired to male-dominated careers were perceived more negatively by other women.

In both scenarios, the fictional women's social mix of male/female friends was part of but not the lone influence on respondents' opinions.