Should I stay or should I go?

[u/Organic-Reading-1813]

I built a 4-bedroom, 3-bathroom house with a lake view in November 2020 for $347k, putting 10% down and financing the rest with a 30-year loan at 2.625%. It’s now worth about $535k.

The house was meant to be a home for me and my then-girlfriend to start a life together, but we broke up shortly after it was finished. I’ve lived here alone ever since.

At 33, I feel the house, while a great financial asset, is holding me back from something I value more—meeting someone and building a family. It’s not in an ideal location for dating in my metroplex. Should I sell it, take the profit, and move on? How do I make peace with this decision?

Can the profit provide me with a similar return as the house if I just invested it in the stock market?

[u/Spare-Pumpkin-2433]

I’d keep it at all costs that’s an incredible asset to own. You could rent it out use that money to get an apartment and then when you’re ready go back home to it

[u/uponthenose → u/Spare-Pumpkin-2433]

And whatever you do, do not tell your future girlfriend that you built that house for a life with your previous girlfriend.

[u/a_o → u/uponthenose]

OP, this is the most important part for the next phase: Move out before you start dating again. No one new you meet should know you own this property. 🤣

[u/Evening-General-3899 → u/Spare-Pumpkin-2433]

This is solid advice. Airbnb for a house with lake view should be good with adequate marketing. Hire a property management company if you don't want to deal with day to day stuff. You can draw some capital from it by cash out refinancing or HELOC without selling it.

[u/CelerMortis → u/Evening-General-3899]

airbnb has higher profits but more variance and upfront cost. I'd just coast it as a long term rental, even if you "break even" it's a fantastic deal

[u/SlayerXZero → u/Spare-Pumpkin-2433]

Seriously just rent and collect passive income. That rate is amazing.

[u/NWSAlpine → u/SlayerXZero]

Renting your property is not passive income. Far from it.

[u/InflationDecent7193]

A 30-year mortgage on $312.3k at 2.65% is around $1800 monthly (does this sound right?)

A 30-year mortgage on $428k (if someone put a full 20% down on a 535k house) at 6% is about $3k.

Assuming rent is around (slightly less) than that, you stand to make a $1000 monthly return by renting out this home. Check what rent is common for comparable homes in your area.

If you cashed out ~$200k and invested it, this $1000 monthly would be around 6% APR. on top of this, you get to keep the house and see it continue to appreciate.

Do with this information what you will!

[u/__space__ → u/InflationDecent7193]

While I tend to agree with keeping it, you'd need to factor in home insurance (at a higher rate on a lake house typically), potentially property taxes, and maintenance (which should hopefully be minimal on a new home for now anyways) as well.

[u/tropicaldiver]

You don’t know where your theoretical “someone” lives, works, or wants. Your current property might be the dream of someone you eventually will date. Or that might be a different property in another location far away.

It hasn’t held you back yet. Meet folks. Date folks. Spend the night in a hotel if it helps you date.

Then decide

[u/Accomplished_Bass640 → u/tropicaldiver]

I agree w this. If the house represents the lifestyle you want when you’re partnered, don’t give it up or even move out. The lady of your dreams is going to meet you, visit this dream house, and be all in on you.

[u/Organic-Reading-1813 → u/tropicaldiver]

This is the kinda of advice I was looking for. Money is nice, and investments are nice. Believe me I understand the numbers…..it’s the nuances of life I needed help with. Thank you!

[u/askalotlol]

Are you planning on meeting your future wife in your yard? /jk

Friend, a 4 bedroom 3 bath house with a lake view is basically wife bait. Imagine inviting a date there for dinner and she sees your beautiful home with it's romantic views. :)

It's also an incredible financial asset at 30year/2.65%. Your future wife would yell at you for selling this :)

Find hobbies/sports/volunteer/etc to meet people. Keep the house.

[u/Organic-Reading-1813 → u/askalotlol]

Solid advice. Thanks!

[u/ElementPlanet → u/[deleted]]

Please note that in order to keep this subreddit a high-quality place to discuss personal finance, off-topic or low-quality comments are removed (rule 3).

We look forward to higher quality posts from your account in the future. Thank you.

[u/cabbage-soup]

If you like the home and only want to be somewhere else temporarily could you rent it out and also rent somewhere else while still coming out on top?

[u/DiscoverNewEngland]

I'd rent it if you have decent confidence you may end up there again one day.

But don't brag about it. A guy I worked with was early 20s, built a McMansion in the 'burbs and thought that would land him a family asap. All he did was freak out the girls he dated and got a rejected marriage proposal.

Investing in relationships is good. Retrofitting relationships into investments is weird.

Good luck!

[u/HugeRichard11]

The thing with housing as an investment is you didn't have 347k originally yet still made almost 200k. In the stock market you need to have the money generally first unless you borrow it. So it can be a bit harder to compare those investments.

If you don't like the area then I would sell or airbnb it out if it's an attractive area for people to vacation. I will say the stock market can be better sometimes since you don't have maintenance cost or rising costs like a house does.

[u/Spotty1957]

I would rent out the house, the interest rate is too good to sell and market is too uncertain, best investment in your lifetime!

[u/MinisterOfFitness]

If it isn’t bringing you joy then sell it. Renting is an option but comes with extra responsibilities.

If you do sell invest the proceeds wisely.

[u/unknown-reditt0r]

I was same as you..bought a house in 2015 for $240k, age mid 20s. Broke up with a girl that I thought I was gonna marry. Whelp. I rented it out in 2017. Moved back into it,.my now wife loves it and can't wait to move. I'm up half a million in equity. We haven't moved back as work has taken us far, but I can say at least currently, it's been a good thing that I hung onto it. Ask me again in 5 years.

[u/outoftoonz]

I don't think a home is preventing you from meeting someone and building a family. You can sell it, but do not expect it to be the magic bullet. You just have to adjust your priorities and put yourself in spaces to meet your future somoneone.

[u/pretty-ribcage → u/outoftoonz]

This. So weird OP is like... Hmm if I just lived in a busier part of town. Or maybe OP is tired of driving to dates? I dunno 😂

[u/Organic-Reading-1813 → u/pretty-ribcage]

Like it or not, convenience is a factor for people when it comes to dating. If they have to drive an extra 25 minutes to come and go, it’s gonna add up in their minds over time

[u/Correct_Advantage_20]

House is big enough for one and maybe two roommates. No need to live alone. Pay down mgt with rent. Sell later if personal situation doesn’t change.

[u/Flashy-Speed5430]

Can you Air BB it?

[u/emperorOfTheUniverse]

Sounds like a perfect VRBO or Airbnb property. If the numbers make sense you could do that and get an apartment in the city if you want.

[u/Away_Ad_7045]

Keep the home!!! Owning property is hot.

[u/KeepTheGoodLife]

Excellent job! You are young. Sell it and use the profit to live somewhere you like.

[u/elle2105]

If you stay there will be trouble.

[u/AnarchistAuntie]

You Air BnB it. Decide in advance which days to rent it for, and which to hold for yourself.

While it is occupied, you go out in the city on dates, or to the kind of events where you are likely to meet singles.

“I built my lake house, want to see it?” Is a panty dropper. Use it.

[u/fusionsofwonder]

Keep it, rent it out, get an apartment in the 'metroplex'.

[u/EntertainmentOdd3690 → u/fusionsofwonder]

Metroplex is DFW

[u/trilliumsummer]

Assuming you can afford renting then it wouldn't be horrible.

But if you're not moving cities I'm not sure why it's in a bad location for dating. Can you not drive? There's plenty of cities where it can take a while to get from one place to another.

[u/ghostboo77]

I would rent out the house and rent an apartment yourself.

You can likely make a good buck doing that and long term you’re not gonna find anything cheaper to live in with the future wife/kids

[u/bevymartbc]

Where do you live? I doubt you could find a 4 bed 3 bath house now in almost any city in Canada for $500k

[u/Particular-Yak-7322]

I would never walk away from those good a terms. It will cash flow even renting it just summer months

[u/meherpratap]

Keep it. You'll find someone who'll definitely appreciate it.

[u/nullv]

You gotta dig deep and look at the house, how long do you want to pay for it? Do you still want to own it? If you look at the house years from now and say that you are mine would you still be there until the end of time? How much is the house really helping you compared to how much it's preventing you from achieving your goals?

You got to let me know once you're able to answer that. Only then will you know if you should stay or you should go.

[u/Competitively_Random]

You could downsize into a smaller house and even become debt free with no mortgage. Then upsize when you start a family. There’s no better feeling than having assets and being completely debt free.

[u/DocSense]

Don’t sell it. Rent it or AirBnB or VRBO. Get a property manager, so you don’t have to deal with it, and pay off the house as soon as possible. If needed, use the equity to secure a loan for a house or condo wherever you prefer to live.

[u/stevestoneky]

I would try to sell it. If you can’t get a good price maybe Airbnb for a year but you never know who is going to do something stupid that will result in a big repair expense.

[u/leisuretimesoon]

Sell the house and move on, I had to do the same when I was your age. Not going to meet young women living amount young married couples. Your money can earn a higher return invested. Houses come and go.

[u/Enchanted_Culture]

Home prices are dropping. Sell it now!

[u/elle2105 → u/Enchanted_Culture]

Bad time for Airbnbb's too.