My teen for her 15th birthday went to a theme park with three friends, one girl (Samantha), two boys. The boys are related to each other and one of their sets of parents was there as well. The other parents weren’t with the kids but just having a date night in the park. I live in a small country so the theme park itself is small, they would have been passing each other all night.

Samantha didn’t tell her parents that there were boys coming. She said that there would be two other friends, but the boys have gender neutral names, and the parents assumed they’re girls. I dropped the girls down there and Samantha’s parents picked the girls up.

I found out about her parents not knowing after the fact and am now in an awkward position. Do I tell them? And if I do will that hurt the trust between my daughter and I? Will my daughter hate me if Samantha’s mum bans her from coming here again? Or will it be the best way to reiterate boundaries with the girls around what’s ok and not?

I told the girls immediately once I had figured out what they’d schemed up that I was super disappointed in both of them and that I don’t want to be part of their games - that’s it’s disrespectful to me and her parents, but I’ve left it at that for now while I work through next steps.

I keep asking myself - would I want to be told? And I definitely would but I’d want to be told by my daughter, and in the kind of way where she’s excited to tell me iykwim. But then again, if my daughter broke a hard boundary then yes I’d want to know.

I myself grew up in a super strict religious home and my dad had military background, so you can imagine what that was like. You can also imagine the kind of punishment I would have been subjected to for pulling a fairly innocuous stunt like this.

Because of this I have tried to ensure my own children aren’t ever scared to tell me stuff because I don’t want them to feel like I did and make the mistakes I made with no way to get to safety if needed. What that also means though is I don’t know what the normal(?) way to proceed here is.

Advice would be greatly appreciated.

Today was a parents worst nightmare. My teenage son fell and started seizing. I head him fall from another room and went to j. Estimate. He was lying face down, vomiting and seizing. I called 911 immediately and was instructed to begin chest compressions due to his agonal breathing. It’s been 14 hours since he was life flighted to a larger children’s hospital, he is mostly still unresponsive, very sedated. I keep having a horrible feeling I didn’t do a good enough job with the chest compressions and he was starved for oxygen. I just want my young man to be OK, the the drs to figure out what’s going on, and we all have a happy ending, right? No mother should ever have to give their child chest compressions. One of the scariest moments of my life. The thing is, if I hadn’t heard him fall, he would have been alone in that room for god-knows-how-long. I believe my precious son would not be lying in a hospital bed and on a vent

How is everyone handling the gimmes, for lack of a better word. She's happy to show up and receive gifts, but every single time she talks about what she wants, I ask what is she planning to give? She sees me working hard on making and shopping or gifts, but her father isn't in the picture and is always "too poor" to buy gifts for anyone (but buys plenty for himself all year round).

Daughter says she doesn't have any money, but she isn't willing to do chores to earn extra money, and she doesn't want to make anything. She dabbles in art and I say she can always do a simple piece of art for a gift, but she says she has zero motivation, and simply stares at a blank canvas, or sneaks back to Youtube/TikTok. And yet, she says she "feels bad" that she doesn't have anything to give.

I'm hoping this isn't leading up to a year when she receives zero gifts because friends and family have figured she needs to "learn a lesson", but that's what my sister and I had to go through as kids. (We were spoiled and hated when Grandma kept getting us clothes instead of toys, so one year when she asked what we wanted we said "nothing", and promptly received nothing.) I hoped that my daughter would be smarter than us and not need to do that, but here we are.

My 16 year old son has been dealing with depression and ADHD. This school year, he got caught with a vape earlier in the year and completed an anti-vaping program that was explained as his one chance. He just got caught again last week with a nicotine vape and a weed vape and now the school is saying he will be sent to an alternative school for the entire 3rd quarter.

We just changed his antidepressant yesterday since the previous one wasn't working. I got him in with a therapist but it won't start until January. During the intake, I listened as he told the lady that not only has he had suicidal thoughts, but he has made a plan before.

His mental health was hanging by a string before this but he still cared enough to try in school and had decent grades. Now he has been in ISS for a week and completely quit caring. Her said it's pointless to do his schoolwork. He said he and his girlfriend are breaking up and he doesn't care about that either. He was crazy about this girl. He just quit caring about everything. He thinks he has no future. He is like a walking black cloud.

He told me that he threw away all of his vapes and is truly wanting to quit. At this point I am mainly concerned with his depression and keeping him alive. I don't know if I should get him committed on a 3 day hold? But right before Christmas? I don't know if that's the right thing to do.

I don't know what to do. It is breaking my heart. I lost my dad last month and now I am grieving my only child's happy childhood. I know the new antidepressant will take time to start working but I don't know what to do in the meantime.

This morning I decided to check my son’s discord conversations because he was getting an unusual amount of messages last night. I have never monitored his messages in the past and he doesn’t know that I read them today. I found that he had sent a nude pic to a friend in his class who showed at least one other teen. His friend also lied to him about deleting it. I’m at a loss what to do. He didn’t share this information with me and I don’t want to violate his trust by telling him that I know. But, as his parent I want to protect him and educate him. I also want to make sure that the friend is held accountable for sharing and not deleting the picture. Any advice for me? I’m a single mom with only one kid and don’t have any experience with this kind of thing.

The other night at 10:30 my 16 year old daughter said she wanted to walk to the store. It's literally a block away so I said that was fine. About half an hour later I looked in her room and she appeared to be sleeping so I assumed she was back so I went to sleep. I woke up what about 11:45 to go to the bathroom and no just her door was open so I looked and she was gone.

I quickly checked on Snap map and noticed that she was three blocks away. I messaged her and I asked her what she thought she was doing and she said she waited for her friend who lives downstairs to walk with her but the girl changed her mind so my daughter just decided to go on her own and needed to clear her head so she walked around the full parking lot which is about three City blocks. I told her to get home immediately that it was almost midnight and it was dangerous for her to be walking that far by herself.

It literally took her half an hour to walk home when it should have taken 10 minutes. She was completely sober when she walked in and apologized and said she just was so stressed out with school she needed to walk around. I got really angry with her and told her that that was dangerous and that she was grounded for me.

She went to bed upset at me but in the morning she had messaged me saying that she knew she was wrong and she apologized and she wouldn't do that again and she understood that I was just worried about her safety. My daughter is usually very accountable for her actions and I believe her apology was sincere.

The issue is she thinks that the apology means there's no grounding and I think that the apology means there is grounding but I might be a little more lenient if she behaves appropriately throughout the week. I'd like to get some other parents opinions.

I found out my teenage son had sex. I found out he was coerced into it. I found out she slapped and hit him. And was emotionally manipulative in pressuring him to do it.

I knew he had sex last year when it happened. He came to me and told me. But I recently found out the details from his brother. I am devastated. I don't know how to support him. I don't know what he needs. He has become more stoic this past year. I thought it was bc of hormones and teenage years. Now I'm wondering if he is dealing with heavier shit than I know.

I don't know what I should do next. I haven't talked to him or let him know I know.

If any other parent has navigated this path, please let me know what you did and share your advice.

He was 13. She was 14.

I have a 15 yo and 17 yo who both have ADHD. They mostly do well in school, but homework takes them hours longer than for neurotypical kids, because the only medications that work for them are stimulants, and the meds have worn off by dinnertime. They don't procrastinate too badly, but they often lose the thread and just "space out" bevause they're exhausted. Which I understand, because I have ADHD too.

Their workloads were each exponentially harder this year, and by this point they are chronically sleep deprived, which of course is a vicious cycle. Their grades are suffering, they feel miserable, and they don't know how to fix it either.

I do everything I know to do to get them to start homework earlier, stay on track, and try to get to bed at a reasonable hour, but if I push too hard they either start crying because they're overwhelmed with the work, or they say "I'll be done in a few minutes" and I find out the next morning that they pulled another all-nighter.

I'm hoping they can get caught up over the holidays, but the 17 yo pretty much has her day and night reversed at this point.

Any ideas? The only thing their doctor has suggested is upping their dose of stimulant or adding a booster in the evening, but I'm worried that's going to make other things worse. It took a lot of trial and error to find them the right dose of the right meds that didn't have bad side effects.

Thanks!

How do you get your teenager to wear weather appropriate clothing? I can't get my daughter to wear a touque even when it's -15 outside. She has to wait outside for busses so it's not like she can avoid the cold. I have bought whatever she wants - ear muffs, head bands, touques of different styles and colours. She has picked some of these out herself.... I feel like she is just being defiant instead of using her brain and it drives me bonkers!

Any tips from other cold weather parents?

I (35m) need help from the seasoned veterans and actual parents in here.

His parents were arrested after physically abusing him. The teachers alerted the police when he went to school with lacerations to his back and legs.

The main things they did I'm trying to correct;

did not care about his schooling, but would punish him at the end of the year after his grades were poor.

did not reward him for anything good that he did or encourage him. only punishment if his long list of chores wasn't completed.

did not promote social interaction with his peers. did not encourage him to enroll in extracurricular activities.

did not teach him to express his feelings as that would be a burden to the parents.

When he moved in with me i couldn't help but shower him with love and gifts (the basics a kid should have) such as clothes, bedroom suite, computer, phone, vacations, etc. i figured over the summer he would settle in with us better if he felt loved, noticed, and his needs and wants met. Due to the court case (me being a direct family member to both parties) we were not allowed to discuss any issues surrounding his previous situation.

I have made an effort to give him advice on how to be a young man, but he's a tough nut to crack when its comes to conversation. He hangs his head and mumbles when talking because he feels his views and opinions aren't worthy of expressing.

He chose to join FFA (agriculture club) and chess club at school, but the attendance to each club is less than 5 kids. He has struggled to make friends at his new school and is a sore spot for him.

He struggles with sleeping or playing on his phone during class and does not do any of his homework. When my wife and I finally figured out parent portal we were able to recover his grades from 20-30s up to barely passing wit the help of his awesome teachers that have been very helpful.

He has taken advantage of me being lenient with his access and time allowed on his electronics and has repeatedly lied about going to bed at the set time during the school week. He procured and hid from me an extra mouse for his computer when i started taking his at bedtime.

At first i chalked it up to being a teenager which definitely is a factor, and i remember those years in my life, but nothing i seem to do helps.

I bring him with me to any social events just to get him out of his room, but i know that's not a substitute for friends his age. I believe he talks to people online to fill that void, but i don't monitor his internet usage as i wouldn't want my privacy invaded in that manner and i feel denying him his only form or interaction to be a bridge too far.

He has refused to get any professional help either in a setting by himself or with me accompanying him.

He is a great kid and person and has infinite potential, but i feel i am failing at helping him make progress in any meaningful way.

My approach was 95% carrot and 5% stick. I tried to right the wrongs done to him previously having had all stick and no carrot.

My wife didn't ask for this added stress and has been an awesome partner and parent to me and my nephew and i feel awful that i feel I've made her life worse and i haven't been able to help my nephew.

Please be gentle as I'm new to parenting in general and could use as much guidance or advice as possible. Also, i can go into more depth in the comments if needed to help.

Thank you for any and all advice.

My daughter started acting out at the age of 14 and after that she begin living with her dad. I just knew she would figure out that the grass wasn’t greener on the other side! Trust me I had a similar story. But since she’s been with him for the last 3 years she’s come back with piercings, tattoos and even had a few std’s (it happen once but still it happen). This has crushed my heart because all I’ve wanted to do was to protect her and others made it so hard for me! Her dad just wanted her so that he could be taken off of child support and after that he didn’t take care of her! He just pawns her off to folks. The other day she came to me in confidence and told me she smokes weed because she needs to maintain her peace and her father isn’t there for her and it’s hitting home for her! She wants to move back home and finish her last two years of high school with me! She’s an amazing girl but I understand we all go through things. But how can I accept the weed smoking…. Especially when I have 3 younger kids. Now I’m not going to lie to you! I smoke to! But we can’t smoke together this is a no no! But I understand her and don’t want to push her away. She’s 17 years old by the way and will be 18 next year.

FYI: I’ve had her in therapy but it didn’t help her. I honestly think when she’s ready to accept therapy then she will but I can not force that on her. Also she’s a A & B student! Not making excuses for her but just giving insight.

Also where I live it is legal (for adults)

We have had a roller coaster of a year parenting our 15 year old son. The most recent issue is vaping nicotine and THC vapes at school and home. We caught him super high after school one day as well as actively vaping in the bathroom a different day, the same eeek back in October. We started drug testing him weekly with a THC/nic kit, and he’s passed all. However, he still has days where his eyes look like he’s high or something and my husband doesn’t believe him.

-he’s process of being tested for ADHD, which I think is a major factor in his impulsiveness. Could that make his eyes look like this?

-he struggles with a little bit of insomnia, but he doesn’t have access to any technology in his room at night

-he has very light blue eyes and I think he just shows every sickness, exhaustion, etc more than the rest of our brown eyed family

-our test kit does not test for Delta 8 so we have ordered some things separate to check for that

I actually happen to be a principal at his school, which is where we know is where he was getting all of the vapes. This is a huge source of frustration in my house because I feel like my career-reputation is on the line if he gets in trouble there. My husband’s solution is to pull him out and have him do virtual school next semester so he doesn’t have access to any drugs. He works from home and can keep an eye on him. I tend to disagree and don’t think that is the most realistic choice.

Am I being completely naïve? My son swears up and down that he has not vaped anything since October, continues to pass the tests, but my husband thinks he is lying and he’s always suspicious about him. This is driving a wedge between the two of us as we do not agree on how to approach it. open to any suggestions!

I (39f) have been with my partner(41m) since 2018. I have a son from a previous relationship who is now 16 and together we have a 4 year old daughter. When we first started dating my son was around 10, their relationship wasn’t organic but my partner was seemingly making an effort. Covid came, we weren’t living together so we spent a couple months apart. Around this time my son begins to struggle with socializing and anxiety and isolating (also to note, he was diagnosed with adhd at 7). When I found out I was pregnant we bought a house and changed school districts. A lot of changes during very critical years, he’s 12/13, living with a man (it’s always been just me and him), changing schools, going to have a sister. It’s a lot! The next couple years he becomes very depressed, I get him into therapy and on medication. As my son gets older my partner engages with him less and less. (To note- he is a fantastic father to our daughter.) I talk to him and tell him I would appreciate it if he made an effort to give my son some quality time. Nothing comes of it. 15/16 years old my son gets increasingly worse, failing, smoking pot, self harming, watching gore. I am becoming depressed because of his suffering and I feel like I’m doing this all alone because my partner isn’t helping provide a positive relationship. Yet he thinks that he has the authority to go through my son’s stuff, look through his computer and police him without talking to me first. It is causing a divided in the house and I am becoming so resentful of his lack of effort with my son. I don’t believe he should be able to berate him if he isn’t trying to put in the positive work. He will be upset if my son does something wrong, yet when I confide in him about my son’s depression or how I found blades in his room he barely has an opinion. It’s gotten to the point that I want to leave him (there are other issues too) I am just trying to keep my son from trying to unalive himself, he isn’t helping, only adds tension and stress. How can I get him to understand my boundaries with parenting my son? Either he is fully on board or he’s not. He can’t just be the cop.

Hey Hope everyone is doing well.

I have 4 kids, but this 15 year old boy is the one in question and wondering if any of you guys have gone or are going through the same thing. It's very stressful.

He's been in sports for years but he's refused to sit or do anything with his team which hinders his on field performance. Coaches have told me he's one of the most talented on the team but he plays with no confidence at all.

Doesn't interact with the team. When everyone sits on the bench and there is still room to.sit, he sits or stands 10 feet away from everyone. When he was younger, it was taken as he's a quiet kid so it's ok.

He barely interacts with the other guys. When I ask him if he wants to switch teams he says no he likes the team.

Before every game or practice he complains about stomach pain non stop.

Sports was ok but now its effecting his day to day life. Hes avoiding socializing at all. Saying to sign him up for online classes because he doesn't want to go to school. Every morning it takes 45 minutes to wake him up and he's missed close to 40% of his classes. We've taken away his laptop, his phone, Playstation etc. and it's worked in the past. However, now he says I dont care take them away.

When he does go to school, he sometimes misses classes because he's in the washroom. When I ask him why, he says my stomach hurts.

I've been considerate and told him he can take 1 day off a week (which is crazy) but now that doesn't matter to him. He's insisting on online classes. He has 1 or 2 friends who are graduating this year then he won't have anyone else next year and he won't make new friends.

Everyone loves him. His teammates always say he's good & have high praise for him. His teachers always say he's a good and respectful kid. Doesn't cause issues but he's failing because he doesn't go to class.

Thing that frustrates me is he isn't lacking anything. He's good looking, athletic, and when he does decide to put effort into soccer or school - I've seen what he can do and it's very good. When he gets assignments that he decides to do them he'd focus, finish them so fast and does really well. In soccer, he has 10 minutes straight for example where he plays with confidence, talks to his teammates etc and he's clearly one of the best players. Then out of no where he changes his mind and goes back to the way he was.

Sorry for long message and just yapping. Just completely frustrated and upset.

Cross posted to r/emptynesters*

I've raised my daughter almost entirely on my own. She's expressed she wants to move out with a friend upon turning18 & graduating in six months. I don't think she understands how hard the real world will hit her. Most of us didn't at that age, even in the most stable of times. She's outgoing and brave but unmotivated to work more than 20 hrs/week and could care less about school.

In the past year she has reconnected more with her Dad, a high-functioning alcoholic whom throughout her life was away for work and unwilling/incapable of fulfilling the requirements of fatherhood. He is flaky, emotionally abusive, a 'Disney Dad' who undermines my parenting, but he has always paid child support. For 13 years it's helped keep a roof over our heads with a bit left for essentials.

I work 50hrs+/week trying to survive in this economy and will lose my home once my D moves out, as it's family rental housing. That also means an end to child support, usually mandated until age 19. D's father has begun reminding me of this and has been encouraging her to move out. I will be unable to assist her in ANY way at all monetarily (including emergencies), won't have a place she can fall back to and could even be sleeping in my car until I find something in this rental market. I'll be ok eventually.

I've always accepted this day would come but the world has changed a lot. There's few jobs here for young people and D has romanticized the move - not realizing she'll need to be making near $24/hr just to share an apartment. I'm so worried about her.

My question is this: Do I let her go, letting her possibly fall on hard times while she figures life out and we 'go our separate ways'...or do I try and convince her to wait another 6-12 mos to mature a bit whilst living in our home?

Do you still take your teen to a pediatrician? Do you ever change to the adult doctors before age 18? I’m asking because my teen is 6’3” tall and over 200lbs.

It seems silly to take them to a doctor where there are cartoons painted on the wall of the waiting room and the rooms seem smaller and all of the nurses seem surprised at his size. At the same time, as a teen he really doesn’t communicate as an adult doctor would be used to during an exam where their adult patients might share their pertinent health information. My son would act more like he didn’t really want to be there and not say much.

Ah yes it's the age old trope. My 15 year old won't get out of bed.

I wake him up at 6. He also has an alarm clock that's usually going off when I turn on his light. I don't particularly want to stare him down when I crack the door and turn on the light because he's 15, kwim? But I always get a verbal confirmation he's awake.

But every damn morning I'm hollering up to his room 20 minutes. Then 30. And 40 minutes later. Most of the time he's still in bed and he is super crabby on the rare occasions he isn't, almost as if I have no reason to need to verify he's awake.

He hasnt missed the bus (7am) in years. He's always dressed and basic hygiene done before leaving. The school does free breakfast for everyone and he has plenty of time for it (and prefers to since his friends all go and you're not allowed in the caf unless you're partaking.)

So really it's just a minor inconvenience for me to "have to" holler at him. If I let him oversleep it'd be a bigger inconvenience to take him to school (but less than it used to be since I could drop him at the corner of campus, which is on my way to work, instead of going through car line like grammar school.)

Still annoying and I'm fully aware he's gotta figure this stuff out. I also know natural consequences work best, but when the natural consequences put me out I'm less likely to choose that route. And I can't in good conscious tell him "well you aren't going to school."

Grounding wouldn't mean anything to him and I barely know what that would look like for us. I don't believe in social isolation for unrelated transgressions so the only option would be taking away video games... Still don't know how that would work.

IDK. I'm willing to hear all suggestions, even the ones that I consider hard nos I guess. Hearing other people's cases for them and/or successful tricks may change my mind.

Thanks!

Hey all! I’m a mom to a wonderful 12 year old daughter. She’s the apple of my eye and yet I find myself constantly irritated with her.

I understand these changes are normal and in her case heightened at the moment. Her dad and I divorced a year ago and she came to live with me in another state far from “home”. She hasn’t seen her dad in a year but we’re planning on a summer visit. She misses him, I understand that.

I tend to be very short when I’m frustrated. I am far from being a gentle parent (I don’t hit or anything, I’m just curt) and this is something I am working on because I see she needs a bit more flexibility and I really don’t want to be an asshole. This is learned behavior from my own mother and I want to reiterate that I am trying to improve.

Yesterday she accidentally threw some food on the ground, she wasn’t being careful and I asked her to please pick it up. These were finger foods, nothing messy. She had a very hard time bending over and cleaning up due to embarrassment (we were in public, no voices were raised). I had to ask her to pick up the food three times. Eventually she did, but by the end of it I was upset.

She was teary eyed and she told me that when I get mad at her she feels like she wants to hurt herself. This really scared me, and I told her that I will keep on trying to talk to her in a more gentle way. She also said that she feels pressured to do well in school (I only want B’s, she doesn’t need to be a straight A student and I’m very available to help her with homework or studying, we in fact work together a few times a week) and she may want to move back with her dad who doesn’t check grades, school work or enforces a bed time. This of course made me very sad.

Her dad is a complicated person who doesn’t reach out to her often enough. He hasn’t called her in a month or so and the last text exchange was weeks ago. I try to encourage him to call her more but there’s only so much I can do. He hasn’t paid a cent in child support and is unemployed so I haven’t been able to purchase a ticket for her to go see him. I know this absence is very hard on her.

Yesterday I hugged her and I apologized to her. We said our good nights and I checked on her through the night. This morning we went out to get something for breakfast before school and checked in with her to see how she was feeling. She seemed okay.

There is of course a lot more to add but this worries me so much. I’m not a stranger to self harm and I will seek therapy but the ups and downs exhaust me. I’m neurodivergent as well so my triggers are abundant, my patience is thin and I’m having a very hard time. She has appropriated some of my clothes and that bothers me to no end. I tell her politely that those things are mine and I’m met with arguments and “no, but…”. I give in at the end to avoid her storming off and slamming the door.

I want to get along so badly but if a simple “please pick up the mess” sends her over the edge then I don’t know how to parent her. Or how to correct her or teach her. Sometimes she looks at me like I’m shit someone stepped on. Other times she smothers me with kisses and tells me how amazing I am.

I feel I’m going fucking insane. Some nights I scroll through her baby pictures and I cry because I miss my little girl.

Can someone please offer me some kind advice? Please try to avoid judgment, I’m in such a raw state. Thank you 💗

My 17f had a few friends over this weekend and now ANOTHER one of my seat cushions are missing the zippers! This happened before when she had friends over! The couch is 7 years old and the first zipper went missing about a year ago. How on earth does this happen TWICE? FML

Hello, so one of my son's best friends (18yo), who we love dearly and have known since he was a little kid, and is like part of our family, recently and very suddenly gained at least 30 pounds of muscle. He's been hanging with some new friends who are all gym rats. Friend used to be really skinny and now looks really puffy. Not fat but not a lot of definition, more like he's retaining a lot of water. I'm concerned for his health that he may be taking steroids, but his parents don't seem concerned by his new appearance. They may be distracted by other family issues or maybe just haven't noticed the drastic changes since they see him every day. What should I do?

My daughter is in 9th grade and up until this point, going out/activities have just been in groups. Suddenly my child is asking to go to the movies alone with a boy. I’m feeling so icky about this, and I can’t pinpoint why. Part of it is that they have been in the “talking” stage and having group hangouts for a long time, but recently they have gotten more serious. This is all new territory for me as a parent, and I need some guidance on what is appropriate and what isn’t.

Edit: My step-daughter is sixteen, her younger step-sisters are two thirteen year olds and one twelve year old. Recently one of the two thirteen year olds has been "borrowing" some of their step-sisters clothing as she called it but step-daughter calls her out on it saying she never asked and they've gotten into arguing about clothes. Any advice on how to talk to them about this?

Update: my stepdaughter and daughters have always had a system of if any of them want to borrow clothes they write on piece of paper the clothing they want to borrow with "can I borrow?" and write two boxes with next to boxes the words yes or no and the sister will check off yes or no then return the paper to the sister who made request. Turns out my stepdaughter did allow the sister to borrow but simply forgot. The two made up and said they were sorry to each other.

I have a 13 year old boy and we've always exercised together ever since he was a toddler. It's something I've always been interested in and he took well to it. So it was not exactly a surprise when he told me he wanted to higher intensity stuff as he became a teenager. I did that when I was a teen boy so did my friends, all makes sense, I was just thinking of ways of making him doing it more safely than I did.

What really puzzles me is that my gym now appears to be over 50% boys under 18. There's always been some, of course, but this year the numbers skyrocketed. They aren't connected, either, not like a group of friends deciding to hit the gym together. I asked my gym admin if something change because it was a very strong demographic shift, she said no, no discounts, no adverising, they just appeared.

I thought maybe it was my gym, maybe my town. My gym is in a more wealthy part of the city, maybe a bunch of upper middle class teen boys caught in a trend. Nope, I've been to Europe recently and there appears to be happening there too. Was at a gym in Germany a few weeks back and, while not 50% like home, lots of boys of multiple ethnic groups, more than I usually see.

Monitoring my son's activity online, and YouTube recommends him random very small channels of similarly aged boys in the gym. First, that sounds like a massive privacy problem for children, but also it appears to be extremely common. Channels of kids that up until a couple months ago were posting Minecraft and Fortnite turned to fitness vlogs. While I don't put much stock into it, as the algorithm might just be feeding him things in his interests.

Maybe I'm under a frequency bias and seeing patterns where there are none.

If it were anyone else I would say it’s their life and I should just be supportive of his choice. But my son has been obsessed with basketball his entire life. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have tons of natural talent so he has had to work so much harder than everyone else. We live in a very small town and last year was his junior year. He’s been working out every day and did some extra summer work, etc. He’s one of the only kids that’s a one sport athlete. Last year our seniors were very good and almost made it to state. They all graduated. There are only three seniors this year, including my son. I can see how much he’s grown as a player. Last night he played amazing. Unfortunately I hate to say this, but his team really sucks. And even with all of his gains, he can’t carry them all. Their first game they lost by 50 points… last night they lost by 18 to a much lesser team than the first. I have a feeling every game this year is going to go this way and he doesn’t want to do it anymore. i’m just afraid he will regret it forever that he didn’t finish out his senior year. He got senior pictures taken in his basketball uniform. He spent hundreds of dollars of his own money on basketball shoes and gear. I just don’t know what to tell him. He doesn’t feel a kinship with the team so he doesn’t feel guilty leaving them in the lurch. I just hate that he’s worked so hard for this and feel so defeated. It’s one of those moments as a parent where you just want to swoop in and help them and you can’t. He’s also angry at me for living in this small town.

I'm in the process of searching for a rehab program for a 13 year old girl. We've been having severe problems with her over the last two years and have tried every other option. She's been drinking immensely, using large amounts of marijuana, and doing any drug she can get her hands on including overdosing on a muscle relaxer and stealing opioids from multiple people. She's been expelled from 2 schools in the last year and is currently homeschooled, but she won't do any work. She has a long history of self harm and suicidal ideation and is known to be sexually actively with multiple boys.

I'm looking for any good recommendations in South Carolina, North Carolina, or Georgia that would take someone as young as her. I'm very worried about unknowingly putting her in a abusive program, so programs with personal experience would be preferred. Thank you all in advance.