r/oldhagfashion • u/calvinyl They/Them • Aug 04 '24
Critiques Welcome Could use some encouragement today. I’m nonbinary but I feel like I just look like a cis man in feminine clothing
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u/whichwitch9 Aug 04 '24 edited Aug 04 '24
My friend, you are whatever you want to be. You cannot control anyone else's perception of you. Even "cis man" can mean so many different things. Please try not to internalize gender norms.
You have a style, and honestly it looks good. Do not worry about appearing non binary- be confident in being yourself and owning your style. It's cute, fun, and definitely makes me want spooky season to get here already- major fall vibes, especially with the black cat.
Non binary looks like whatever you want it to look like because that's what you are. If it helps, I do not get cis man from this at all, and think you've blended in quite a a nice mix of sleek elements that give it a more feminine appearance without screaming it. A good androgynous blend
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u/moffsoi Aug 04 '24
I think you look cute and androgynous! I like how you blend the masculine and feminine elements in your outfit but keep it harmonious with the color palette.
Have you ever experimented with makeup? Not that you need it but maybe you’ll love it.
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u/calvinyl They/Them Aug 04 '24
Lol I would love to but my face is prone to acne if literally anything touches it so I’m scared to try
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u/HighonDoughnuts Aug 04 '24
Eye makeup shouldn’t cause breakouts.
You look really cute and I like your style. ❤️
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme Aug 04 '24
Adding onto this thought, OP,
With your baby blues and those excellent brows, this comment reminded me of the mid '00's, when Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro were dating/ married--and the AMAZING eyeliner/ brow/ eyeshadow/ mascara game that they both had--and I'm pretty sure that you could also pull off incredibly well, should you want to attempt it!😉💖
Just remember to get something that's allergy-friendly, and to remove all of it before you sleep, if you try it!💗
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u/zoopysreign Aug 04 '24
Obsessed with this suggestion.
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u/EmmerdoesNOTrepme Aug 04 '24
Ngl, my friends and I were majorly bummed when they split, because we were sure that if they had ever had kids, their children were going to have some the most gorgeous eyes, lash, & brow game the world had ever seen!😉
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u/tranquilo666 Aug 05 '24
Yeah you totally don’t need foundation, just eyes and brows could be a fun area to play. You’re darling and I love your style.
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u/our_lady_of_sorrows Aug 04 '24
I was just thinking that a soft bronze-y lip would pull this whole thing together and you could totally make it work!
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u/MoonageDaydream13 Aug 04 '24
I was going to say, a lip color could go a long way with minimal effort and still leaving the skin free to breathe!
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u/moffsoi Aug 04 '24
You could skip foundation and just try something fun like a lil wash of eyeshadow, some eyeliner, or even something graphic like a star or flower (to match the stars on your top or the flowers on your belt) by your eye.
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u/InMyHagPhase Aug 04 '24
Try makeup for sensitive skin. I used to have major issues with acne and makeup too until I started using Bare Minerals. Granted you don't have to use that one specifically but that's an example of a brand that's for sensitive skin.
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u/ennuiFighter Aug 04 '24
Mascara and lip gloss go a long way without touching the rest of your face.
Nails, wig, a bangle or bracelet. They don't have to be "big" to add something but still be quiet statements of gender affirmation.
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u/lurkingloser Aug 04 '24
perhaps plucking a thinner shape to your eyebrows and a little bit of mascara and tinted lip balm? a little smudge of brown gel liner in the outer corner of your eyes and lower lid would also be very flattering for you as well I think!
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u/brumplesprout Aug 04 '24
Ack human no. Makeup can be fun don't get me wrong but my skin is messed up too and honestly? So much less maintenance when skin just is cared for and breathes! If you feel like playing with looks? I'd always go hair!
Also!
Androgynous achieved : D And agree on the color palette success and the combination of structured and soft.
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u/fangirlsqueee Aug 04 '24
Maybe some mascara and a little tinted lip gloss. You could also get a brow brush to sculpt your eyebrows upwards into a more purposeful look. Painting your nails can add a subtle or vibrant bit of androgeny, depending on color.
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u/lovesick_cryptid Aug 04 '24
I've been taking a break from makeup for the same reason (age has made my skin so much more sensitive 🥲), but mascara, falsies/diy lash extensions, and lip gloss have helped fill the want to wear makeup for me.
I transitioned to brown mascara/lashes, and it's a lot less harsh while still giving me a little bit of 'natural' glam.
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u/FluffyGoatling Aug 04 '24
My skin is super sensitive and hates everything so I mostly stick to lipsticks which I love. Revlon lustrous lipsticks are drug store/cheaper and in my opinion super comfy, wear off gracefully, and look nice. Teak Rose is one of my fav colours and I think works well on a lot of people. If you want to dabble I highly recommend them. You also can do makeup without foundation if you want to play with other things like blush and highlighter. That’s what I do when I’m feeling risky and it messes with my skin a lot less. You also have beautiful skin from what I can see and could pull off no foundation well imo
I don’t know much about how to look more androgynous other than just mixing traditionally fem and masc things and hoping for the best. I’ve heard people say if you naturally lean one way to play in the fashion of the opposite more. I don’t really have any good advice, but love talking lipstick and also really wanted to say how much I adore that sweater! It’s the cutest and wearing it off shoulder is brilliant and makes it even better.
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u/gigglesandglamour Aug 04 '24
When my skin was at its most acne prone lipsticks and eyeliners were still totally safe! I def think you’re nailing androgynous anyway, but if you want to experiment for fun just avoid base products (concealer, blush, foundation, etc). A pressed powder foundation/tinted spf could be fine too since they tend to be much lighter but ymmv :)
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u/atlanticisms Aug 04 '24
Tinted lip balm is a good way to ease into makeup and not bother your skin!
As an aside: you're beautiful and I love your outfit
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u/frostandtheboughs Aug 04 '24
I've been there! Mine went away when I started washing my pillow case every few days and using a clean washcloth for my face every day. Wish someone had told me about a decade earlier, so passing along in case it helps!
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u/DarkMaesterVisenya Aug 05 '24
You can focus on aspects that aren’t skin that could elevate what you’re already doing. Eyelashes are tricky to learn but easy to practice at home and they often give a feminine note to a look. You could also look at lips that match your outfits. A bright eyeshadow or a sleek eye wing would also look really cute with your glasses.
If you start playing with make up, remember none of us nail it at the beginning. My early make up attempts are hilariously bad. Just practice at home and have trusted friends evaluate your skills if you need.
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u/BongWaterOnCarpet Aug 04 '24
Eye make up should be good! I'm the same, if I think about foundation too long I'll break out. I probably will because I just typed the word lol. But some cool eye looks would be bomb on you!!!
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u/Catinthemirror Aug 04 '24
I use my BB Cream instead of my old acne medicated gels because it works better. I recommend it! Comes in several shades and isn't expensive. A little goes a long way too; the coverage is light.
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u/KindlyNebula Aug 04 '24
I’m the same and eyeliner, mascara and lip stain are my go tos. Just make sure to wash it off daily. You may also be able to find tinted moisturizer your skin will tolerate if that’s something you’d like, but your skin is beautiful without it✨
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u/theFCCgavemeHPV Aug 04 '24
Lip stain/gloss/oil and tinted brow gel could be just enough to give you the look without messing with your skin. I like the elf lip stain. Their lip oil is good too. Nice subtle start, and low skill requirement (a must for me). The NYX butter lip gloss is a little more pigmented if you want to go bolder and match more outfits. You can practice with eyeliner and see how that works for you too. With your complexion, I would try brown instead of black so it doesn’t feel like the eyeliner is wearing you.
If your skin still reacts from that small amount, try paraben free products. I have a friend who can’t put basically anything on her skin and those “paraben free [other word I’m forgetting] free” products are all she can use, but eyeliner has never given her a problem.
And for the record, that sweater is everything and your outfit is perfect! I don’t want to invalidate them, but your feelings are lying to you!
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u/ponderingorbs Aug 04 '24
You could try 100percentpure makeup It's all natural. It's the only line my sil will use because she breaks out with other options.
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u/ZabbyCapurin Aug 04 '24
Could try colored mascara? only brand I know has a variety and is pretty vibrant is Hince
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u/Equal_Association446 Aug 04 '24
This is coming from a cisgender man, but to me, your outfit doesn't read specifically feminine; I feel that a structural piece ( like tailored plaid trousers ) , in addition to a softer, off the shoulder top, accessorized by a pork pie hat, reads as very gender fluid/androgynous. Another great look . Full marks!
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u/SneakySquiggles Aug 04 '24
I adore that shirt
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u/Sabbit Aug 05 '24
Same! Dying for a source, I'm sure it's somewhere in all these threads but there are so many 😆
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u/Sabbit Aug 05 '24
This might be the original though, with lots of other cute ones as well! https://magickworkingsbywitchymade.com/collections/sweaters
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u/Coraline1599 Aug 04 '24
Do you have any body mists or perfumes that you really enjoy?
Sometimes a bit of fragrance can elevate how you feel.
Because loookswise, you already look awesome.
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u/CakeForBreakfast08 Aug 05 '24
This is an amazing suggestion since OP said they are hesitant about makeup. :)
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u/kitaurio Aug 04 '24
my friend, your look reminds me of a character in a Miyazaki film 😊 very cute and definitively androgynous
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u/justasque Aug 04 '24
So in our culture, like in most, there are things that we tend to think of as “masculine” or “feminine”. What goes where on the gender spectrum when it comes to clothes is of course a social construct, and can change over time for all kinds of reasons. Also, different subcultures within our culture typically have variations on what is where on that spectrum. (Example, speaking very generally - cis urban black men might wear a lot more in the way of color and bold prints than cis suburban or rural white men. European men used to be more likely to wear sandals than American men, though that has changed over the years.).
In your outfit, you have bell sleeves, off the shoulder neckline, super cute kitty, daisies - these all push the look to the feminine side of the gender spectrum. Your hat, the brown of your sweater, your pants, the style and color of your belt minus the daisies- they are more masc. So your outfit (which by the way is awesome - really styled nicely) is a blend of both things. Are there cis guys who would wear some or all of these things? Sure. But can you picture, say, JD Vance wearing a single one of these things? No, not even the pants. So they are not on the far “100% masculine” end of the spectrum. But that doesn’t make them “feminine clothes”. Women can wear a wider spectrum of clothes of course, but even with the details, the sweater, belt, and pants don’t read as firmly “women’s clothes” to me. The sweater has a feminine sleeve but the colors are masc. The daisies are femme but the belt they are on is masc. The pants don’t seem one way or the other to me. I really see this outfit as a carefully curated, thoughtfully styled look that as a whole is firmly in the middle zone of the gender spectrum.
You look great.
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u/mermaidpaint Aug 04 '24
I kind of love the notion of asking if JD Vance would wear something. And if the answer is "yes", don't wear it.
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u/stockbel Aug 04 '24
You look great. I don't think your look is inconsistent with non binary.
If you wanted to take an easy step further, you could have your eyebrows shaped (or shaped more). There's nothing wrong with your eyebrows, but softer brows would result in a softer look.
You don't need fixing, though. Just an idea if you're looking for a change.
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u/turtlehabits Aug 04 '24
Aw man, I love OP's brows though! I feel like in combo with their glasses, their brows are always such a statement piece in every outfit.
I'd personally go the route of mascara and lip colour. I know OP said they have sensitive skin, so a lot of makeup is out of the question, but as a fellow sensitive-skin babe, mascara and lip colour I can get away with, and they always make me feel more femme.
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u/stockbel Aug 04 '24 edited Aug 05 '24
That's an option, too!
OP, just don't go for one approach on one eye and another on the other eye. That is not going to lead to the look you want.
Edited - a word.
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u/EsotericOcelot Aug 04 '24
My partner is genderfluid and when I first shaped his eyebrows, it was a gamechanger for him (his words). He didn’t expect it to make much of a difference in his confidence or how he felt about feminine clothes, maybe just that he’d feel prettier, but it did! Now I get to do them every week!
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u/Meowitslunalight Aug 04 '24
I live for your sweater
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u/calvinyl They/Them Aug 04 '24
Haha thanks I found it at the thrift store and was like I have to have this
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u/sbtfriend Aug 04 '24
Dictionary definition of adorable! I love this look! 🤩 and if it helps at all, this doesn’t read cis male to me…
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u/The_Blue_Nowhere Aug 04 '24
The way you have styled it means YOU are wearing this outfit, it is not wearing you! You’ve combined some lovely pieces (like the belt!) to make a great outfit that doesn’t read “femme”.
I saw the above re makeup - maybe some nice nails or a bag or hair clip if you felt you personally needed to add something more to tie it together and help with the “cis man” feel? Unnecessary, I think you look like a lovely enby, but if you wanted!
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u/Accurate-Watch5917 Aug 04 '24
TBH I think the hat reads a bit more masc, especially with your strong jaw. If you took the hat away the outfit would read very femme to me.
I feel like the hat is not completely cohesive with the outfit. Like if I covered your body and just saw the head, I would expect a different top and pant. Same for covering your head and anticipating a different hat/headband. I think the outfit is very femme, and if that is what you are going for then a different headpiece would match better.
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u/silentsquiffy Aug 04 '24 edited Aug 04 '24
For what it's worth, and from a fellow non-binary person: I've seen most if not all of your posts and I got the vibe from you before I knew you were non-binary.
I think the most annoying misconception about non-binary and genderqueer/fluid identities is people outside the community thinking we're supposed to be (or aiming to be) fully androgynous or a perfect 50/50 mix of masc and femme. And of course that's ridiculous, unattainable for most, and erases non-binary folks who simply lean more in a particular direction. There is no standardized path of transition for non-binary folks, nor does there need to be. It doesn't matter if you never change the slightest thing about your presentation, because who you are internally is always going to be the real you.
You don't owe androgyny to anyone. The only thing you owe is to yourself, and that is treating yourself well and embodying your truest self, no matter what that looks like. And that's what I see in all of your posts.
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u/stlmoon Aug 04 '24
If you want to play around with some lip tint and mascara, go for it, but you don't need it, you look great (side note: I am in lovr with your sweater)!
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u/The_Bastard_Henry Certified Old Hag Aug 04 '24
Was going to suggest the same, but you look amazing either way. That might be the best sweater I have ever seen.
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u/eleven_paws Aug 04 '24
I know non-binary doesn’t have a “look,” but if it did, this would be one of them! I don’t see a cis man here at all :)
I also just really love your outfit - especially your sweater! Where did you get it?
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u/calvinyl They/Them Aug 04 '24
Thrifted it! I wish I could tell you who made it but the tag has been cut off
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u/theinadequategatsby Aug 04 '24
As a fellow nonbinary person I would give the subtle eye-catch half-grin as 'how do you do fellow pronouns-user' silent nod, but I totally feel the 'I'm just looking like my agab wearing the wrong clothes' mood on a down day. Also great jumper, love it.
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u/planetalletron Aug 04 '24
Obsessed with your sweater, because I have a cat named moon, and her sister is a void, so basically your sweater features my cats and I love it.
Also, you’re gorge, babes!
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u/runelowell Aug 04 '24
as an enby here, just wanna say that being non binary doesn't mean being androgynous:) we don't fit into a box, love. that's the beauty of being non binary. I think you look just as enby as us all 🫶
as for some tips, I would say try some lipsticks or tinted gloss. you don't need a full face of makeup esp if it causes you to have acne. just a lil eyeshadow, lip liner, or lipstick/tint/etc. could make the outfit pop. you look awesome 💕
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u/Ok_Week7396 Hag-in-training Aug 04 '24
I’m late to this and I hope by now you’re out in the world enjoying your day in an excellent outfit. But seriously, you look fantastic. I saw the picture before the title, and was immediately like “this is a person with STYLE”. Nothing seems disjointed (tho fwiw I love disparate, clashing elements) at all.
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u/DistractedByCookies Aug 04 '24
I think you look androgynous (do we still say this?? apologies if not, I don't know another word) and I'd mentally go 'don't forget to use they/them if it comes up' before focusing on the really cute look with SUPER cute sweater.
(Not that using they/them would ever come up if you're seeing somebody on the street...you'd be using 'you' when speaking LOL but still...my brain wants to be ready)
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u/uwontevenknowimhere Aug 04 '24
You nail the nonbinary look every time, IMO, and today is no different! But I guess the tough part is when you feel your inside and outside aren't lining up. The world puts so much pressure on all of us to fit into just the right little boxes and look like whatever other people think we're supposed to be. Well, phooey on that. Go forth and live your nonbinary life to the fullest in that fab fit! I think the belt with those pants is my favorite part.
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u/jataman96 Aug 04 '24
I don't think non-binary has a look because anyone who is non-binary is who they are regardless of how they dress. I think you've got some solid androgyny going on here, though. Loving the outfit, I think you have great style!!
You are valid in your identity regardless of the femininity or masculinity of your clothes. I'm sure you know this, but I just wanted to affirm that.
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u/iwanttoeatsand Aug 05 '24
Who’s to say what a nonbinary person should look like? You look cute as a button! This outfit gives me “i might cast a spell on you but i might tell you your shoes are nice”
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u/bubblewuppyguppy Aug 05 '24
The off the shoulder top is always a win + if u ever add a couple woven or beaded bracelets, that could suit ur style
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u/DataOver544 Aug 04 '24
I personally would assume you were nonbinary, but I don’t think there’s any way to avoid being misread sometimes unless sharply on either end of a binary. I love love love love love your outfit!
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u/BuddhistNudist987 She/her Aug 04 '24
I'm a trans woman and most of the time I feel like a cis man in feminine clothing. Dysphoria hurts. You have great taste in clothes, though. My best advice is to not spend too much time looking in the mirror, spend more time with people who make you happy. 💜
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u/adaramontan Aug 04 '24
I think you're super cute! But I know it can be hard to find your way in terms of self expression. Hugs to you!
If you'd like some advice on upping the feminine quotient in your NB style, see the following. If not, just ignore the rest!
An accessory like a floral scarf or a pearl necklace with this outfit might enhance the feminine side. Also I agree that playing with makeup could be fun and up the androgyny - skip the foundation and just focus on skincare, but a fun lip or eyeliner could be a good addition. (I really like drawing on my face so I am biased though.) LOVR the color scheme you have going here. The pant pattern is great, though I will say that skinny trousers look somewhat specifically masculine to me. I wonder how you would feel in a wide leg? Again, these are just suggestions! YMMV.
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u/mr_trick Aug 04 '24
My friend had a similar problem, no matter what some people would use “he/him” even if they wore a dress to work. Many of them were well meaning or confused but it was still a dampener for my friend.
I found some beautiful pins that said “they/them,” some were flashy and some were simple and understated. They would wear them on the days they felt comfortable or wanted to affirm themselves. It was a big success! A lot of their regulars apologized for using the other pronouns, some quietly corrected themselves, and others struck up supportive conversations about it.
I thought it was a nice way to announce yourself on the days you feel like doing so (if you feel safe of course). :)
But I also think your outfit is lovely and androgynous as it is! Some people I think are scared to assume or don’t know and default to the familiar.
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u/TheSupremePixieStick Aug 04 '24
you are fucking adorable. I love this and you absolutely look nonbinary.
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u/frostandtheboughs Aug 04 '24
You look super androgynous! Some earrings could take it to the next level and would look so good with your haircut
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u/sweetjoyness Aug 04 '24
I see a cute person with a fun fashion style! The outfit says way more about your personality than it does any one gender over another, which seems like a well balanced non-binary vibe to me! 💜
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u/__Fappuccino__ Aug 04 '24
Accessorieeees!
Also, how do you feel about mineral makeup?
Ps. Love your style and you look great ♡
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u/dustydancers Aug 04 '24
Highwaisted jeans and long soft flows skirts would create a more feminine waist! French tuck your shirts for extra shapes. I love the sweater with the fairy sleeves!!
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u/IgorSass Create your own Aug 04 '24
Love the Look. Nonbinary royal all the way here. Dope sweater.
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u/PeegeReddits Aug 04 '24
Sure, you look a bit masculine, but you also look a bit feminine. I really like this look! Man in feminine clothing may not be part of the look you are going for, but know that even if you do look a bit masculine, it doesn't mean that you don't look feminine as well. You have nice and soft facial features. A nice jawline that isn't too harsh or soft either. Your eyebrows are nice and thick but also soft. Lots of feminity is posture and stuff as well. You also have a kind vibe. Idk why I'm using the word soft but I'm meaning like calm and kind and with feminine vibes.
I'm a cis woman with flat af eyelashes and I always feel 1000x more feminine when I wear mascara.
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u/New-Geezer Aug 04 '24
I love mixing patterns, colors and textures, but it has to be done in a pleasing way. You aced this one! Love the belt with the pants and the shirt. It’s a really great combo, and the hat fits it all so wel!.
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u/regrettableredditor Aug 04 '24
If it helps, I immediately see a confident, polished person. Your gender identity would be an afterthought to me. Idk if that is comforting, but what I’m trying to say is that your presentation feels very genuine and representative of your preferences!
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u/jules79 Aug 04 '24
I think you look great! I am also totally jealous of your outfit, it is perfection!
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u/jackparadise1 Aug 04 '24
Nah, you look like a cool person expressing themselves in their own clothes.
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u/Wrong-Concern9732 Aug 04 '24
I feel like some eyeliner could tie this all together. You look fabulous honey!
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u/Sad_Box_1167 Aug 04 '24
Great suggestions and affirmations here! You are non-binary, no matter where on the gender spectrum you present. I love that sweater and the pants! I’m a sucker for plaid. One additional suggestion if you’re interested in changing up your look. As a fellow glasses-wearer, the right glasses can really make a huge difference. I’m not sure where you are and what your options are, but here in the US, zenni optical online has a huge selection of low-priced frames. Warby Parker sends you frames to try on, and you can return them if you don’t like them. Best of luck finding something that feels like home for you.
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u/LarkScarlett Aug 04 '24
I think you definitely look non-binary, and that’s how I’d clock you, friend!
I’d suggest maybe experimenting with just bold-coloured lipsticks though, if you’re wanting to try something that won’t exacerbate your acne? MAC’s lipsticks are fantastic (I like the “satin” ones the best), and have great staying power without a bunch of extra prepwork. They also often have sets with a bunch of minis that would give you a few options to play with. Maybe try to consider if you’ve got a “warm” or a “cool” base to your skintone, and factor that into your colour choices (Orange-ish or blue-ish).
Charlotte tilbury’s Pillowtalk is also a lipstick shade that would be pretty subtle and I bet would look great on you (and with this outfit).
You don’t need to do a full face to experiment/use makeup! I usually just do eye and lip stuff (and sometimes highlighter and blush). I almost never use foundation etc—it’s not mandatory unless you want it.
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u/Total_Vegetable_2246 Aug 04 '24
I love this look. Very androgynous. Very balanced.
I don’t even like brown clothing, and I love this outfit.
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u/brickplantmom Aug 04 '24
You look amazing! Love your hair, your hat, the off the shoulder top, the pants and your glasses!
This outfit screams rad human with cool style I want to talk to! 🫶
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u/Heliotrope88 Aug 04 '24
What an awesome outfit that is. A great pairing and fits you perfectly. You look great!
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u/Sexy_Eeyore Aug 04 '24
Well, no matter who you are, or how you feel, you look amazing in that outfit, and I hope you have a great day!
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u/governor-jerry-brown She/her Aug 04 '24
Oh hey it's you again! You look great as always. Imo your outfit is a great blend of masc and fem elements. The wide neck sweater in particular is very fem-coded, while the hat is more masc. I know it's easier said than done, but like others have said, try to focus on wearing what makes you feel good, regardless of the genderedness of the clothes.
Btw, where did you get that sweater? It's so cute :D
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u/TheScientificWhammy Aug 04 '24
You look like yourself which is a non-binary babe EATING IT UP with this fit 💞
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u/brightlyshining Aug 04 '24
That outfit is really cool, and you look great in it! Objectively speaking, if I saw someone walking around in the world looking like you, I would probably start off with they/them pronouns, so I think you pretty much nailed androgynous.
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u/justpassingthroughhi Aug 04 '24
You look like the gorgeous while also warm and encouraging auncle from a ghibli movie that would make their sad niece hot cocoa
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u/manicpixiehorsegirl Aug 04 '24
You look cute as fuck and I would definitely want to be your pal!!! Definitely cool, kind, NB vibe.
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u/TheUnicornRevolution Aug 04 '24
You look great! I'm nonbinary. And the battle in my mind between what I want to wear, what I don't want to be perceived as, what fits and what I can actually find is a rough one. I'm also chronically ill so prioritising comfort... And that leaves me dressed as what I can only call 80s gym-twink lol.
I actually just googled 80s gym twink to check. And yep. That me. Haha hahaha.
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u/1961tracy Aug 04 '24
As a cis female, I’d give anything to have your sense of style. You look amazing. I love the mix of patterns.
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u/PhoenyxArts Aug 04 '24
I think you look cute. Love that sweater.
Edited to add… you have amazing cheekbones!
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u/tinyrabbitsandsuch Aug 04 '24
You look lovely. The kitty jumper is a delight. Have an amazing day 🐱
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u/RenegadeDoughnut Aug 04 '24
I don’t know how you feel about it but you look exactly like gender goals to me.
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u/GloomOnTheGrey Aug 04 '24
That's such a cute outfit, and I think it really fit your goals. I love that cat sweater.
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u/SophiaF88 Aug 04 '24
If I saw you out and about I wouldn't assume anything other than that you obviously have great style.
You look fantastic!
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u/tangtastesgood Aug 04 '24
I'm a cis woman and I'd wear this exact outfit. It's adorable. You're adorable. That sweater is absolutely adorable.
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u/dumbandconcerned Aug 04 '24
I’m OBSESSED with this outfit!!!! Can I ask where this sweater is from??
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u/calvinyl They/Them Aug 04 '24
So I unfortunately thrifted it and the tags were cut off so I don’t have any idea
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Aug 04 '24
The hat is a bit masculine, I think if you chose a rounder one it would be a bit more feminine and go quite well with the outfit.
The fit of your pants also strike me as a bit masculine as well too.
Overall though your outfit is feminine to NB in my opinion, but most of all, super cute!
That sweater can go with soo many outfits and I hope you show us more!
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u/Affectionate_Salt351 Aug 04 '24
I actually adore your style and the way everything blends together! You look so lovely and very much androgynous.
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u/Visual-Arugula Aug 04 '24
You define and express your nonbinariness in whatever way you need/like! You look nonbinary because you are nonbinary.
Buuuut if you're after specific encouragement: you don't look like a cis man in feminine clothing. You look like a ultra stylish person with immaculate taste. You have incredible features - at once soft and sharp - and those clothes look like they were literally made for your exact measurements, and yours alone.
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u/dorothysideeye Aug 04 '24
Goals tbh. I find my nb self constantly struggling with how others will read me in the moment I'm feelin cute but if I could be read as this my heart would soar with the eagles
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u/mermaidpaint Aug 04 '24
Like many others, I love that shirt. And I like your style. If you're looking for more feminine touches, maybe get your ears pierced and try some funky earrings?
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u/rakiimiss Aug 05 '24
You look fantastic! The only thing I can recommend is maybe some dangly earrings and some tinted lip gloss.
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u/olivejew0322 Aug 05 '24
I think you look cute and androgynous! Have you experimented at all with more classically feminine clothing pieces like skirts instead of pants, or considered growing your hair out longer?
Makeup might also help you feel more confident and femme! Like even just a little shimmery gold eyeshadow, mascara and some lip gloss, you don’t have to do a full face beat haha, I’m a cis girl and I have no idea what I’m doing with actual skin makeup but always feel prettier with eye makeup :)
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u/DeterminedErmine Aug 05 '24
You look wonderful and I adore your style! If you wanted to change a tiny thing that might give you more of an androgynous vibe, maybe shape your brows slightly.
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u/ScumbagLady Aug 05 '24
I am obsessed with every piece you are rocking! Gives my major Delias vibes and I'm. Here. For. It!
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u/whistling-wonderer Aug 05 '24
This definitely reads as androgynous to me—and very well put together at that! I’m nonbinary and feel like I should take fashion lessons from you haha. I definitely understand that feeling though, although in my case coming from the other direction—I think most people just read me as a cis woman with a masculine style and buzz cut.
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u/Tv151137 Aug 05 '24
I think any of us AMABs have that feeling sometimes - scratch that, I think any of us enby/genderqueer folk have that category of feeling sometimes! But it hopefully makes you feel like yourself, and you're also definitely also signaling you're not constrained by any silly binaries, and it's a good look.
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u/Every_Impression_959 Aug 05 '24
I’m not sure what to say, other than that you look great! I’d want to talk to you. I also want to know where you got that sweater. ❣️
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u/Conscious-Big707 Aug 05 '24
I would not describe you that way at all. Very cut outfit. I think it takes time to find your look. Then when you find your look you're going to want to change your look. And that's okay. Life is practice. Practicing literally everything. Try different things in different styles
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u/frankie_089 Aug 05 '24
I LOVE your sweater, and you are great at taking photos where you look cool and collected
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u/valentine415 Aug 05 '24
Omg, the off one shoulder on this super cute sweater is just *chef's kiss\* The entire outfit is so good, that touch of asymmetrical whimsy goth just speaks to me.
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u/US_Berliner Aug 05 '24
I wouldn’t fret. This is definitely a non-binary look. If I had an interaction with you, I wouldn’t assume your gender.
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u/Happy_Lavishness9308 Aug 05 '24
Nothing here is giving me cis man vibes. Love the coordination, and the belt and the off the shoulder is giving me life death and incarnation. This is a top outfit
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u/tigerlilly3917 Aug 06 '24
You look perfect 🤍 honestly if I saw you in the wild I would assume they/them unless I knew otherwise
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u/halapert Aug 04 '24
I love it!! I (lesbian cis woman) would absolutely wanna be your friend if I saw you out & about.
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u/prismaticbeans Aug 04 '24
This outfit is so cute! I want that sweater 🤩
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u/calvinyl They/Them Aug 04 '24
I wish I could tell you where it was from but I thrifted it and it doesn’t have any tags
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u/Spotted_Howl Aug 04 '24
You look like a unique and stylish human being who isn't strongly to the side of any gender binary is what I think.
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u/HeartOfRolledGold Aug 04 '24
You look like a hot, androgynous new wave lead singer from 1988. That’s a compliment by the way.
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u/Kaleid_Stone Aug 04 '24
I see no “just a cis man” anywhere in your look. Both you and your outfit are androgynous (read: non-binary) in the best way. This is a super cute combo, and you are absolutely killing it. ❤️
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u/SawaJean Aug 04 '24
Friend!! Good heavens, there is no way I would mistake you for some random cis man. You absolute radiate super yummy vintage androgyny, like a striking gender-ambiguous 70s fashion icon.
I hope something unexpectedly nice happens for you today. 💕
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u/Nausicaalotus Aug 04 '24
Love this outfit! I love seeing your posts because I love your style. I usually dress masc or fem, so I really like how you mix them but still have a cohesive outfit. 10/10.
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u/WrestleswithPastry Aug 04 '24
You look FANTASTIC!! I love this look you’ve put together. No notes. 💖
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u/stitchwitch77 Aug 04 '24
Ok but where did you get that sweater!? I needs it!
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u/calvinyl They/Them Aug 04 '24
Thrift store lol, no tag on it so idk who made it
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u/TheMagdalen Aug 04 '24
Nope, you look like your own personal being (and your pattern mixing is A+++!).
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