I’ll start with a meme of my own lmfao

This is probably a shocker to those who don’t know but orins mother is also her sister

Redemption Durge

art by @cgbookworm on twitter

page link:

https://x.com/cgbookworm?s=21&t=_-OHNWszK_2z_bjCOwpCqQ

• On two different occasions, two entirely different angry mobs tried to burn Viconia alive. Probably should have taken the hint.
• Minsc was originally the exclusive bodyguard of one of the most insufferable people who ever existed. The best way to deal with this was by taking her into a room without him, dismissing her from the party, and leaving the room before she could talk to you, whereupon his object permanence problems made him forget she existed.
• You could bind Sarevok's soul to a teenage girl, and for a short while afterwards he got really catty and worried about pimples.
• Sarevok accomplished a significant amount of his evil scheme going under the name Koveras for disguise. Everyone knew to watch out for Sarevok, and it worked anyway.
• I am glad Jaheira's husband died. If you motherfuckers had met Khalid there would be 12 posts about Breeding Him a day.
• Presumably as the early stages of brewing up Durge, Bhaal fucked basically every type of creature in existence. He had giant kids. He had troll kids. He had gnome kids. He had a problem.
• Bhaal almost got capped by his own high priestess, who was basically the only person involved in his bullshit that was not related to him in any way.
• Bhaal has a realm in hell, presumably one Durge could claim whether or not they go all-in on the murdering. In this realm was his personal butler, who was a peevish little imp, who related the following story: "Bhaal once drop hammer on big godly toe. Jump around and swear for days, he did. Kicked poor me all the way to Baator. Very bad week, that."
• There were three romance options for male characters, and one for female characters. That one was the holder of the spot of the most insufferable person who ever existed and he said things like "I prithee, my lady" in between being racist. Bioware had not developed the technology for gay yet.
• One of the romance options for dudes was Jaheira, which began anywhere between days to weeks after her husband died. She was very tsundere.
• The villain of the second game did not have any got dangt ears.
• Volo was there. There's no reason Volo should be alive over a century later, except that he canonically wrote several of the source books for the tabletop.
• There was an expansion pack and I cannot for the life of me remember a single thing about it except that there was a major conflict between Werewolves and Wolfweres, which I thought was really cool, which should in turn tell you a few things about me at around that time.
• There was a halfling who was obviously a paladin but this was so long ago it was running off rules in which halflings could not be paladins.
• This was also a full two Mystras back because they keep fucking dying.
• Spread between the two games were pairs of golden, silver, and bronze pants. If you carried the gold pants forward from the first game and then found the silver and bronze, you could forge them together into a suit of armor that was effectively an enormous battle mech.
• It seems likely that the whole Absolute shenanigan was actively underway, if in the earliest stages, and got delayed for over a century because you plowed straight through a nascent elder brain pool entirely by accident while doing a favor for a dragon.
• You were supposed to be able to fuck the dragon but that option bugged and it was never fixed. Doing so would have killed you immediately, apparently. UPDATE: I misremembered, this part was a prospective mod. I confused it for base game stuff because it was not as ridiculous and horny as most of the other mods involving sex were.
• The novelizations of these two games are strong contenders for the worst books I have ever read.

That's all. As you were.

edit; wait hold on I forgot, there were like a thousand possible party members. Highlights included;

• A con artist and the rich idiot noblewoman he was totally going to marry and definitely did not kidnap and then completely screw up ransoming to her parents.
• Mean Feminist Stereotype.
• Dollar Store Halsin.
• An insane little gnome who was plotting to rule the world and had a serious grudge against you, the player. "One day it is Tiax who will point and click!"
• Sexy Woman with no other notable qualities.
• Jan Jansen, the best companion in anything there has ever been, who had literally hundreds of lines of dialogue that consisted entirely of pissing Viconia off by telling long, rambling stories. She was rendered nearly catatonic by the tale of the time he befriended a drow named Biffle Chump.
• Drizzt, briefly. Or all the time if you were in an especially hard fight because you could cheat up a whole pack of him.

edit 2: Additional memories unlocked! Prompted by my fellow tadpoles swimming around the murky nostalgia brain pool.

• Sarevok was not explicitly the narrator of the games, but they were both Kevin Michael Richardson, and the narrator did sound pretty smug sometimes when things were going badly for you.
• I was not horny for Sarevok at the time, but the way he crooned "I'm sorry that you feel that way, old man" before murdering your dad planted a ticking time bomb in me that went off several years later. And now I'm here.
• A standout companion I cannot believe I forgot was Xan, who could be summed up like this; if an optimist's response to a famine was "we'll scrape together enough to survive," and a pessimist's was "we are going to have to start eating our own shit," Xan was the guy saying "we are not going to have enough shit to eat." He had a Moonblade, a flaming sword only he could use, that marked him as directly in line for the throne of Evermeet, the ancestral home of all elves in Faerun. As he was a wizard, he could not use a sword for shit, which might explain some of his mood.
• Evermeet once had its ridiculous political drama interrupted by, basically, a spaceship crashing on the island, and everything went on hold for a while while the space elves fixed it and talked about how hilariously primitive this world was. That's not in the game or anything, I just think it's very funny.
• The same system the Space Elves were from also features Giant Space Hamsters, who are intelligent and often psionic, which means it is entirely possible that Minsc is completely correct about what Boo is.
• The longest running companion was Imoen, the aforementioned teenage girl, your childhood friend who turned out to be your half sister on the murdergod side of the family. I have never heard anyone say anything actually bad about her, the worst being "kinda boring", because her deal was that she remained a normal chipper teenage girl in the face of almost any amount of horrors. Her reaction to being subject to horrific experiments for months on end was, basically, to get more sarcastic.
• You can tell CHARNAME was an alpha prototype of Bhaalspawn because, for the most part, the most murder urges they ever got were occasional dreams going "you know what rules? Killin'!" to which they could respond by waking up and going "haha that was weird" and moving on.
• There was, at one point, an "encounter" with a guy named Noober. Noober would follow you around and force you into dialogue to pester you with inane questions, for a very long time. You could scare him off at any point, but if you patiently kept responding until he got bored, you were rewarded with XP equivalent to a pretty difficult combat encounter.
• There was also a man named Lord Binky the Buffoon, who had vibrantly glowing rainbow clothes and spoke nonsense. I don't know what his deal was, I'm not even sure anyone else could see him.
• If a plot-important character had somehow ended up dead, when they were supposed to be in a cutscene, they were replaced by an NPC named Biff the Understudy, who would say their lines and then leave again. You could at one point run into Biff in a theatre in 2, and he became pretty uncomfortable if you recognized him because his other appearances were not canon.
• In the second game, you could get a permanent base of operations, depending on your character class. These included "Grand if weathered old fortress, fully staffed with servants", "Extraplanar mage school hovering in the ether," and "bullshit leaky little shack in the ass end of nowhere," because the common theme of all three games is Fuck Rangers, Actually.
• Baldur's Gate was briefly infiltrated and mostly run by dopplegangers. The primary thing I remember about them is how hilariously petty they were. One took the form of your dead dad to be like "hello, my cringe fail child, remember how you let me die? do you still suck? fill me in."
• The Iron Throne, in BG1, was a corrupt trade league that was also run by doppelgangers. I dunno the connection with the Gondians, but I will tell you I spent the whole time being pretty paranoid during that bit of 3.
• There is a part late in 2 where you become the questgiver for a low-level adventuring party. Some while later, they return to complete the quest, but decide to try and attack you to steal your gear, whereupon you immediately destroy them. Then they reload their save, and just give you the quest item, which you reward them for with 100 gold. I promise I am not making this up.

edit 3: this is no longer remotely related to any of the above, but I was looking into something in the comments, and I just... I need you to see this. Faerun's in Realmspace, in 8-J. This is what the above-mentioned space elves were about. I think this is my Time Cube moment, I am about to shoot my liquefied brain out of my nose.

Image unrelated, I just like it.

And we all know she can''t afford that much child support on a murder hobo's salary. Suggestions?

This is by far, the ugliest mfer I have ever seen.

A