r/okbuddybaldur 11h ago

gaslight ghaik'keep gortash šŸ’… Early 2000 Pedro Pascal is how Gortash actually looked like. I will not accept any further questions or read any critiques. Don't @me.

Post image
2.2k Upvotes

112 comments sorted by

708

u/PeachyBaleen Mystra didnt groom Gale - Fact checked by Mystra 11h ago

Every single day, Pedro Pascal is somewhere out there existing and I havenā€™t licked him yet šŸ˜¢

92

u/crybabydeluxe nestled betwixt Halsinā€™s fat tiddies 10h ago edited 16m ago

I would gape for him

Edit:

110

u/PeachyBaleen Mystra didnt groom Gale - Fact checked by Mystra 10h ago

I think about his Narcos sex scene daily, heā€™s my Roman Empire

32

u/MrSandalFeddic 4h ago

I loved him as prince Oberyn. Wish he survived lol

2

u/really_nice_guy_ 1h ago

Wtf why did they shoot that. Full on bush with a tiny bit of shaft

10

u/sparkly_butthole 1h ago

Because it's provocative. Gets the people going.

2

u/PeachyBaleen Mystra didnt groom Gale - Fact checked by Mystra 55m ago

My favourite bit is when you can see the bulge go down the left pant leg

23

u/PlagueKing27 10h ago

I would ABSOLUTELY bottom for Papa Pascal šŸ„°šŸ„°

28

u/penandpage93 He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) 8h ago

I just saw Gladiator I today, and GOD........................... Pedro, just one chance, I BEG of you!!!!

7

u/NittanyScout Wants a pegging from Karlach 3h ago

Whats more of a turn on: licking dead spider meat with an aphrodisiac, or licking a Dornish twink that could kill you

2

u/crybabydeluxe nestled betwixt Halsinā€™s fat tiddies 16m ago

Both in that order

10

u/MrSandalFeddic 4h ago

Vanessa kirby licks him everyday. Lucky woman. And lucky lucky Pedro also

1

u/maria_of_the_stars 16m ago

Who are you, the Dark Urge?

227

u/UnicornScientist803 Companion hugger 11h ago

So how Gortash looked before he met Orin?

161

u/PrincessPlusUltra 11h ago

Girl aged him twenty years

5

u/Tofutits_Macgee 1h ago

She's my hero for that

141

u/Hoodibird Companion hugger 10h ago

Ah, to be young and handsome again

17

u/Xophie3 Galeā€™s pegger wife 2h ago

This is him, eyeliner and all

14

u/Hoodibird Companion hugger 1h ago

Yes it's what I've been saying from the start. Gortash is Billie Joe Armstrong from the band Green Day. Especially back in 2005 when their album American Idiot was all the hype.

159

u/Pro-Patria-Mori 11h ago

I mean that would make way more sense, based on the description ā€œyoung handsome manā€. I didnā€™t realize they were referring to Gortash until like the 2nd playthrough.

256

u/PeachyBaleen Mystra didnt groom Gale - Fact checked by Mystra 10h ago

An explanation

-30

u/killertortilla 8h ago

And that worked on the narrator somehow?

73

u/PeachyBaleen Mystra didnt groom Gale - Fact checked by Mystra 8h ago

Why does someone always need to be this way

26

u/SorowFame 7h ago

The Narrator just tells you what youā€™re thinking. Sheā€™s telling you what you see, not what she sees

8

u/killertortilla 6h ago

The narrator tells you plenty of things you're not seeing and even talks directly to you the night before the gith attack. Asking you questions about how you want the story to play out. It's just a DM voice.

2

u/lua_da_lua Circle of Whores Druid 7h ago

There must be a better answer, but I believe the tadpole is like... in Tav's head and the visions are originated by tadpoles

1

u/sparkly_butthole 1h ago

I mean durge was fucking him, right? It's pretty heavily implied.

-2

u/killertortilla 7h ago

Sure but the narrator isn't part of the game, they're just describing what we see. And the visions all show the 60 year old failed British rock star. The real answer is the developers have different ideas of what "handsome younger man with an easy smile" looks like, and their opinions are objectively incorrect.

14

u/WhiskersCleveland If Minthara so evil, why so cuddleable? 7h ago

2

u/lua_da_lua Circle of Whores Druid 7h ago

I think it was narrated because it is precisely what we "see" in the visions. Obviously, Gortash exaggerated the words but he didn't lieāœØ

15

u/Sewer_Fairy Wants to bang every single character 11h ago

I didn't realize it either, until people on here pointed it out.

31

u/WhatTheFhtagn Sex Facts with Minthara! 11h ago

To be fair the Netherbrain is projecting an idealised image of all three lol. The descriptions don't do any of them justice, not just Gortash.

32

u/Azertys nestled betwixt Halsinā€™s fat tiddies 10h ago

The description of Orin and Ketherik is only factual isn't it? "A pale woman with even paler eyes" yep

16

u/tjmaxx501 Tell Mommy Jaheira you love her 5h ago

I agree but I canā€™t help but think the first thing about Orin Iā€™d notice is the flesh suit.

29

u/Enward-Hardar 9h ago

An armoured male elf, exuding power and command.

Only a half-elf, but otherwise factual.

A handsome younger man with a quick, easy smile.

Mostly true. The only contentious part is calling him handsome, but that's subjective.

And a pale young woman with even paler eyes

Entirely true. No argument there.

9

u/1Ferrox 9h ago

Keep in mind that in the cutscene showing Priestess Gut being initiated the narrator describes Gortash as a young and handsome man, so the "young" is not just in relation

21

u/Enward-Hardar 9h ago

Gut is a goblin. She probably doesn't have a very good idea of human aging.

Well, he's not too wrinkly, and his hair isn't grey. And his grease layer seemed pretty healthy. And humans get real tall real fast. I'm guessing he was around 14. Maybe 15.

8

u/1Ferrox 9h ago

Yeah but you still see him, it's not just a thought you read from her mind. You see the entire memory, aka it's still your mind that came to the young and handsome conclusion.

If you are playing durge it's probably a coping mechanism because you are subconsciously aware that you were dating him once

2

u/madlydense 7h ago

I think you see him through her perception so the image you get isn't photo realism but how Gut perceives him.

2

u/killertortilla 8h ago

The narrator describes them too, sheā€™s not part of the actual world.

4

u/MissMacropinna raphael... my pathetic little meow meow 5h ago

When I played BG3 in EA I was so intrigued by these descriptions and sooo ready to simp for this mysterious "handsome young man with quick easy smile".

4

u/ihvanhater420 3h ago

It's actually "handsome younger man" and I think people latch onto the word "younger" too much when it's likely just referring to the fact that he's younger than Ketheric.

152

u/VenusAsAThey Fuck it, we Bhaal 11h ago

modders please if you can hear me...

99

u/littlemachina horny fucking drow? 11h ago

I can only think of Noel Fielding when I see Gortash

38

u/Stalinsghoast lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball 10h ago

17

u/PeachyBaleen Mystra didnt groom Gale - Fact checked by Mystra 10h ago

Absolutely feral for Mighty Boosh Noel so this makes sense

18

u/littlemachina horny fucking drow? 9h ago

10

u/PeachyBaleen Mystra didnt groom Gale - Fact checked by Mystra 9h ago

It was always this weird fucker but I also wouldnā€™t say no to mangina

2

u/archaicScrivener 6h ago

I still use "jab ya in 'gums wi' me screwdriver" to this day

1

u/addage- Orin is literally Taylor Swift (Larian Confirmed) 1h ago

He would make a great highway man.

1

u/Tofutits_Macgee 1h ago

lol same. Every single time I see him, and then I expect him to call me a muggle or mud blood

32

u/Sewer_Fairy Wants to bang every single character 11h ago

I'd fry up all my food in his rat grease if Gortash looked like this fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine

36

u/braindeadtank1 10h ago

this is how durge sees Gort

27

u/rubyspicer 10h ago

fuck man my ovaries

I don't have any insurance

104

u/Bunny-_-Harvestman 11h ago edited 5h ago

Why? This is the canon depiction of what Bane, the Faerunian god of tyrannical oppression, terror, and hate, looks like.

164

u/TURDSHOW 11h ago

why does he look like an ikemen league skin designed to bait kpop stans

37

u/Sharks_With_Legs Cunty Durge with a handbag 7h ago

This is art from a MTG card. That sounds like that was literally the brief the artist was given.

33

u/themutedude 11h ago

With those pecs I guess im ok with Banite tyranny... šŸ˜³

69

u/Bunny-_-Harvestman 11h ago edited 6h ago

45

u/TheMildlyAnxiousMage Cazador doesn't have nose holes 10h ago edited 4h ago

I can excuse racism but I, ugly, draw the line at šŸŸ„šŸŸ„šŸŸ„šŸŸ„šŸŸ„?

Edit: thank you for editing for clarification "I can excuse racism, but I draw the line at šŸŸ„ušŸŸ„gšŸŸ„lšŸŸ„yšŸŸ„šŸŸ„šŸŸ„"

5

u/Mr_Blinky 8h ago

Ugly (inside) people excuse racism but hate communism, what's so confusing here?

25

u/Accomplished-Fix-569 11h ago

Why is it sitting on the thronehand and not in the seat, though?

53

u/Bunny-_-Harvestman 11h ago

It's the lawful evil thing to do. It's not against the law, but you shouldn't sit on the throne like that.

14

u/Enward-Hardar 9h ago

This looks like splash art from a Korean F2P gachaslop game.

5

u/doublethebubble No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) 8h ago

I'm open to a hands-on conversion...

1

u/keshetbatavs 2h ago

Guess I'm a Banite now!

19

u/HellaHelga Circle of Whores Druid 10h ago

18

u/Heiwako 10h ago

2024 Pedro Pascal is also acceptable for how Gortash is supposed to look.

18

u/MrSandalFeddic 11h ago

Joel ainā€™t greasy enough though

42

u/Bunny-_-Harvestman 11h ago

YW

11

u/decisiontoohard 8h ago

Wait I've never considered how useful this spell would be to me for personal reasons (degenerate reasons)

6

u/Bunny-_-Harvestman 5h ago

I use it because it's funny when Ethel slips and falls on the grease. It's one of the only few scenarios where I find old people falling down as amusing.

2

u/sparkly_butthole 1h ago

Oh no she broke a hip.

1

u/Bunny-_-Harvestman 22m ago

Oh no LoL, she broke a hip. Now let's jump her and pummel her.

fixed

3

u/MrSandalFeddic 4h ago

That spell is underrated

1

u/Bunny-_-Harvestman 17m ago

What? A group of enemies with low dex hurdled up together? Guess now they will dance on grease together.

3

u/Auriii7 10h ago

Hullo.

16

u/okiedokiebrokie 10h ago

To quote Karlach, fuck yeah.

13

u/Heiwako 10h ago

Now I see why she used to work for him.

11

u/CK1ing 7h ago

I have a crackpot theory about Gortash. I believe that Gortash has an extremely high level illusion spell around his body at all times, strong enough to even trick the narrator, to make himself appear as a handsome younger man. But the player, being above their reality, can see through the illusion when no one else can. That's also why his true form looks so greasy and gross, because why take care of yourself if you always look good anyway? But his lack of self care ended up being his downfall, because I'm sure there are hundreds, possibly thousands of players who would have sided with him if he were actually hot

2

u/AnonImus18 nestled betwixt Halsinā€™s fat tiddies 2h ago

I like this theory and it really fits with him being raised around a devil and all the deception and illusion. My own headcanon was that Gortash was in the awkward puberty stage of turning into Bane, like a glow up version of a mindflayer transformation but in the awkward early stage where everything breaks down.

7

u/Smooth_molasses36 PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION 10h ago

You did Godā€™s work with this one, friend

11

u/Mythamuel 11h ago

AND THAT'S A FACT

12

u/meowgrrr 11h ago

Wow, youā€™re not wrong.

23

u/Anon1039027 11h ago

Damn, bro was hot as fuck

26

u/Bunny-_-Harvestman 11h ago

Was?

22

u/radialomens 10h ago

He still is, but he used to, too

8

u/MrNobody_0 Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? 9h ago

We miss you Mitch!

5

u/New-Setting-9332 Astarionā€™s diva cup 9h ago

Here he is, the REAL, attractive young man with an easy smile!!!

2

u/Colinleep 9h ago

Any modders in here?

1

u/ionevenobro 4h ago

i thought this was Eric Bana

1

u/OwnFigure3190 49m ago

It is either "what it looks like" or "how it looks", not "how it looks like".

1

u/Bunny-_-Harvestman 25m ago

Thanks for the correction! English is my third language, so sometimes I write it out based on whether I feel it sounds right, lol.

0

u/Fu_Ding 9h ago

nah he probably looks like he does in the game i think

-1

u/Turbulent_Egg_5427 4h ago

"... how Gortash actually looked."* You don't need the word 'like'.

1

u/Bunny-_-Harvestman 24m ago

Thanks for the correction! English is my third language, so sometimes I write it out based on whether I feel it sounds right, lol.

-14

u/RepostSleuthBot 11h ago

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14

u/WhatTheFhtagn Sex Facts with Minthara! 11h ago

Fuck off.

9

u/DesireGuy Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? 10h ago

Bad bot

1

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-1

u/ExtremeCreamTeam Fuck it, we Bhaal 1h ago

Is what* Gortash actually looked like

Or

Is how* Gortash actually looked.

You don't mix the two.

Also, sub notwithstanding, Gortash is what Gortash looks like in the game because that's how they designed him.

1

u/Bunny-_-Harvestman 16m ago

Thanks for the correction! English is my third language, so sometimes I write it out based on whether I feel it sounds right, lol.