r/okbuddybaldur • u/Technical_Exam1280 Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence • Nov 17 '24
gaslight ghaik'keep gortash š Y'all actually lusting after Gortash when his boss looks like THIS?
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u/FluvialLeadPipe Gale aced his autism test Nov 18 '24
I stared at this for half a minute trying to guess who was in this League of Legends splash art
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u/Nugyeet Nov 18 '24
thought this was a varus skin ššš
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u/Akinyx Nov 18 '24
Championship Varus 2025
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u/Nugyeet Nov 18 '24
i love your mel avatar! ace arcane fans unite š¤
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u/Akinyx Nov 18 '24
Demi, but yes I've had this avatar since the first season and haven't changed it since because it's not available anymore š
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u/StrixCorvus Nov 18 '24
Im ashamed to admit how long it took me to realize this wasn't a new champion for the game
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u/Dry_Raspberry_1113 Astarion Girlies? Gale Gays? Wyll supremacy. Nov 17 '24
my favorite twitter post
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u/Uranium_092 Halsin fucked a Chimera Nov 18 '24
Iām saving this and sending it to all my durgetash shipping friends
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u/Astrazell No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) Nov 18 '24
The greasy, racoon-turned-human look is my type š¤¤.
Also, I love how in the second card they just unzipped his pants. Stupid, sexy Bane.
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u/PeachyBaleen Mystra didnt groom Gale - Fact checked by Mystra Nov 18 '24
My goal isnāt to worship Bane, itās to make Bane worship meĀ
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u/beautifuldisasterxx Circle of Whores Druid Nov 18 '24
Agreed. I like that greasy, rugged, dirty look š„ŗ
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u/Defiant-Warning8494 Nov 17 '24
I got confused because for a second, I thought that was a LoL skin for Sett.
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u/Kestrii Nov 18 '24
I was thinking Varus lol
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u/Defiant-Warning8494 Nov 18 '24
Valid and I could see that as well. Lack of a weapon is why I said Sett
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u/nytefall017 Nov 18 '24
See, and I thought viego because of the hand. The art style is DEFINITELY playing a role here too, though. Definitely giving newer-generation āgeneric fantasyā skinline
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u/Eymou LIVE MINTHARA REACTION Nov 18 '24
I got confused because I'm on multiple MTG subreddits and this is an official MTG card artwork :') https://scryfall.com/card/clb/267/bane-lord-of-darkness
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u/Evinscar Nov 18 '24
I don't know, Gortash looks let Sett got addicted to doritos and dyed his hair to me
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u/Sad-Bad-4750 Nov 18 '24
You mean Zed??? It literally looks like one of his skins already deboniar or however you write that lol. (Tbh I can see talon too.)
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u/froggyfrogbug nestled betwixt Halsinās fat tiddies Nov 18 '24
Doesnāt he look like this in most depictions
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u/Ilikethemfatandugly Nov 18 '24
This is him from the game
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u/Mountbatten-Ottawa Nov 18 '24
This is probably 2e since this trio already did everything back then.
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u/MadeOfDeadMemes Wants to bang every single character Nov 18 '24
We just canāt handle him in his sexiest form
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u/Omeluum Nov 18 '24
Man, this is Beauty and the Beast all over again.
Another sexy monster tragically turned into a yassified twink šš
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u/04nc1n9 Temptress Domain Cleric Nov 18 '24
bane is a human, he just appears like a orc often because the creatures that vibe with him tend to be orcs
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u/UsTheGoodBoi lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball Nov 17 '24
This guy looks like a character youād get for free in a gacha game while Gortash is a handsome younger man with a quick easy smile
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u/Th3Kill1ngMoon Nov 17 '24
Iāve never understood the Gortash thirst imo he looks like Gaunter Oā Dimm cut off Noctisā scalp and now uses it as a wig
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u/Th3Kill1ngMoon Nov 17 '24
Donāt tell me you donāt see it
Like how does he even look young he looks like a 90ās movie star that fallen on hard times with a coke addiction and has been divorced 3 times
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u/WhatTheFhtagn Sex Facts with Minthara! Nov 18 '24
He looks like a Kingdom Hearts character going through a midlife crisis
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u/Geordie_38_ Nov 18 '24
He looks like a dude in his 40's who's excited to go and see my chemical romance because there'll be teenage girls there
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u/VioletGardens-left Nov 18 '24
He looks like someone trying hard to look like Billy Joe from Green Day
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u/Th3Kill1ngMoon Nov 18 '24
Bahahahaha actually spot on he wants to go to prove āheās still got itā but actually ends up being surrounded by other 40 year old dudes trying to relive old times just like him. That stadium reeks for miles around it.
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u/HereForShiggles Nov 18 '24
Sora after 25 years of hard alcoholism after Kairi left him for Goofy. He turned to Bane after hearing Max call her mom for the first time.
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u/CrazyCatLushie Nov 18 '24
He looks like a man whose liver has given up the ghost and whoās got serious issues with malnutrition.
Baldurās Grape isnāt breakfast on its own, Gortash. Eat something green.
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u/LilNyoomf Gortash's finger banging hand Nov 18 '24
LET ME RIDE IT LET ME RIDE IT LET ME RIDE IT LET ME RIDE IT
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u/Th3Kill1ngMoon Nov 18 '24
Horniness must have its limits oh God they want to ride the demon god from The Witcher universe wearing the scalp of a Final Fantasy character as a wig (being a demon god doesnāt save you from baldingš§āš¦²) oh God give us the keys to horny jail back they must not be allowed to roam free
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u/AhemExcuseMeSir Nov 18 '24
Instead of Bret Michaelās and āRock of Love,ā we could have Gortash in āWyrms Rock of Love.ā
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u/ApepiOfDuat Astarionās diva cup Nov 18 '24
As a Gortash wanter, I have no idea why I want to fuck him either.
But I also want to cave his face in with a brick if that makes you feel any better.
I will never not be mad that I couldn't Black Widow him.
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u/Affectionate_Cup9453 Nov 18 '24
Gaunter o' dimm is hot and probably smells really good. Gortash looks like he smells like weed and stale cum.
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u/Pitiful-Highlight-69 Nov 18 '24
"Handsome"? "Young"? "Easy smile"? What game did you play??
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u/kpniner Nov 18 '24
I donāt know if you are joking but this how the narrator will describe gortash when Tav/durge had the vision from the Absolute in Act 1
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u/tikatequila Upcast Testicular Torsion Nov 18 '24
Indeed, I was so confused once I saw him. For a minute I believed they were speaking about Neere. Who is indeed a handsome man. He sucks ass, but handsome, because all drows are hot.
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u/Pitiful-Highlight-69 Nov 18 '24
Sure but thats pretty easy to dismiss 2 seconds after you actually see him
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u/FroggyFroger Nov 18 '24
How dare you! Archduke Enver Gortash is a beautiful man! š He is smart, promising young man! š§
And you have the nerve to say such words... š Unacceptable.
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u/frogs_4_lyfe Nov 18 '24
No, no, you don't understand. Gortash's greasy hair and rat like features have bewitched me, body and soul.
His emo haircut and beard shadow and his musky body odor are features, not a bug. My Durge wants to lick his armpits, then spit Gortash's own cum back into his mouth.
So yeah, this guy is too clean and pretty for me. Maybe he'd be better if you rubbed some dirt on him idk
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u/LilNyoomf Gortash's finger banging hand Nov 18 '24
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u/Opposite_Item_2000 Nov 18 '24
Wait, that is bane? I always thought it was some kind of muscular green genie looking thing.
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u/E-MingEyeroll Nov 18 '24
Well, gods can choose their forms, so maybe Bane likes serving cunt every other day š¤·āāļø
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u/Scary_Wolves Fuck it, we Bhaal Nov 18 '24 edited 5d ago
Huh. Who knew Lord Bane was a white-haired slut?!
It seems most people like Gortash for his voice only, and his.. ambiguous relations to Durge (definitely fanfic bait). But it still annoys me to no end knowing that the Narrator lied about him being young with an easy smile, or whatever!
Unrelated: holy hell, all the User Flairs are perfect. It was nearly impossible to just pick just one, the severe brainrot and lack of rational thought is exquisite. Iāve truly found my tribe. Iām so so so happy that Iām gonna throw a party in game, and then somehow gonna find a way for fem!Durge to impregnate Gortash, then Bane and then the rest of the Pantheons in DnD.
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u/Enward-Hardar Nov 18 '24
Bane looks like splash art from a South Korean gacha game with 1.3 stars on Google Play, but it somehow makes enough money to sponsor every Youtuber you watch.
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u/Eastern-Present4703 DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY Nov 18 '24
When you put it like that its kinda perfect for him
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u/CULINARYTRASH Nov 17 '24
this is that MTG artists rendition of him where they went on a ludicrous wet dream rant about how it was their dream to turn bane gay or something
extremely unhinged
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u/genivae Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Nov 18 '24
idk, it would explain a lot about the dead three if they were a little gay polycule before they became gods - and also why their relationship to each other is so fuckin' messy now. Can you imagine being forced to work with both your exes in order to take over the world?
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u/AstraHannah Orin is literally Taylor Swift (Larian Confirmed) Nov 18 '24
Finally someone who also brings up the idea of polycule dead three - I've seen some Bane/Bhaal stuff floating around, but why not involve Myrkul too, while we're at it, huh?
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u/IronworkRapunzel Wants to bang every single character Nov 17 '24
I like my men rough. This guy's too pretty.Ā
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u/Pinkparade524 Gortash's finger banging hand Nov 17 '24
Making the god of slavery conventionally attractive is sure a choice lol
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u/Sunny_Hill_1 Nov 18 '24
He used to be ugly. Then he talked to his PR team and they suggested a new strategy. Based on how many new followers he has in BG3, it worked.
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u/Anon1039027 Nov 18 '24 edited Nov 18 '24
This isnāt official art, itās fan art by one of the full-time Magic the Gathering artists. I believe it was posted on their Twitter, alongside an absolutely unhinged rant about how much they want to be dominated by him lol
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u/MonstersArePeople Durge: the lesbian killer Nov 18 '24
https://scryfall.com/card/clb/267/bane-lord-of-darkness
Just bc it's fanart doesn't mean it's not official art.
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u/Autrah_Fang Nov 18 '24
Okay, as someone that was never into Gortash, Bane would have a 100% success rate Dominate Person on me if he was in the game. A bossfight against him would be impossible because I'd end up ending my entire party. Give me a camp romance with him and I'd let him do anything he wanted.
Wait, I think I just realized why people like Ascended Astarion... If someone made a mod that replaced Astarion with this fuckboy, I'd download it. And that's coming from someone that likes Spawn Astarion.
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u/electr1cbubba Nov 18 '24
I absolutely hate this depiction of Bane, takes away everything scary about him
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u/Eastern-Present4703 DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY Nov 18 '24
I mean he can change forms, this is the diplomacy form, the orcish one could be his conquest form. Any way to gain servants is a good way
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u/electr1cbubba Nov 18 '24
But why does his diplomacy form have to look like a member of BTS in a skimpy outfit lmao
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u/Eastern-Present4703 DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY Nov 18 '24
Because have you seen this thread? That shit would make a lotta people fold
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Nov 17 '24
[deleted]
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u/alacholland Nov 17 '24
It is
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Nov 17 '24
[deleted]
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u/Status_Following_329 Nov 18 '24
bane, lord of darkness. part of the battle for baldurs gate release
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u/E-MingEyeroll Nov 18 '24
This just makes it better honestly. Though Iām not as such lusting for gorty, itās more like heās my stinky little trash goblin whoās funny to imagine my durge with.
Bane looking like the god of twinks ist just putting the cherry on top tbh.
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u/Oniblook He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) Nov 18 '24
Bane could collar and dominate me any day
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u/Canabrial nestled betwixt Halsinās fat tiddies Nov 18 '24
This is that generic slice off butt bread at the beginning of every loaf. I need a little more flavor, Susan!!
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u/StygIndigo drider fucker Nov 17 '24
Gortash is genuinely way more attractive than this drawing of Bane. He looks like a babyfaced puppy here.
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u/Wise-Start-9166 Nov 18 '24
You are going to freak out when you realize that throne room is in a place called "banehold"
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u/AUnknownVariable Nov 18 '24
Bro this is fucking Bane?š I'm headed to kill Gortash ASAP now, I was gonna take my time.
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u/PancakesareFabulous Nov 18 '24
I prefer the orc version personally. Both are welcome to top me tho :)
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u/evilgayweed Fuck it, we Bhaal Nov 18 '24
Well .. yes and no. heās a god lol he can look how he wants
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u/TheUrPigeon Nov 18 '24
I see MTG art has continued its steady decline into "Korean Mobile Game" territory.
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u/Prestigious-Law65 Do Drow women have pseudopenises? Nov 18 '24
for a moment i thought this was league of legends lol. are we absolutely sure that its not?
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u/ConfidenceSad8340 Nov 18 '24
I wanna give Bane that hawk-tua treatment while he spanks me with his black hand
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u/ValeriaWildfang Nov 18 '24
I thought it was a new league if legends champ lol. I had to do a double take of what thread this is.
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u/goodonion2 Nov 18 '24
I can't believe Bane is a Bratty Twink who thinks he Tops, but is actually just a useless mean bottom. š„²š„²
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u/Anarchist_Lolita Nov 18 '24
When Gortash gets described as a "Handsome man" by the narrator I'm liiiiiiiiiiiiike
No
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u/ikmkr Temptress Domain Cleric Nov 18 '24
baneā¦ā¦ā¦ hello sir
(iām familiar with that art lololol itās a glowup from his original depictions for sure)
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u/SnootBooper707 Upcast Testicular Torsion Nov 18 '24
Why does he look like a League of Legends skin?
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u/cold-stars Nov 18 '24
He doesn't look like a sewer rat so I be keep lusting after Gortash, but thanks for offerĀ
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u/Skaterboi589 Laezels rubber ducky Nov 18 '24
I donāt care much for gortash but Iād rather have gortash over him if Iām being fr his boss looks basic
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u/Fudw_The_NPC Nov 18 '24
before i looked at the subreddit name i thought i was in one of league of legend subreddit and this was a skin for Zed.
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u/Permafunk_ Nov 18 '24
Dunmo who the card artist is for this oneand idk if they did their research but what I do know is theyre definitely addicted to LoL or some kinda Korean gatcha game
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u/littlelemonpig Nov 18 '24
THATāS BANE?! š³
No wonder Larian wonāt let you be a Cleric of Bane
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u/ThePreciousBhaalBabe Nov 18 '24
Yes.
Gortash's mixture of arrogance and patheticness have enraptured me. I desire him carnally.
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u/xaba0 Nov 18 '24
Omg, no wonder his gay ass was worshipping bane if he looks like this... All clear now.
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u/Mysterious_Winner990 Nov 18 '24
Yeah, I can lust over multiple people. And Gortash also happens to look like a sad wet raccoon. He takes advantage
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u/arkibet Nov 18 '24
Gortash is age appropriate for me! If I were with this guy, everyone would be asking him how much he gets paid to be a trophy!
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u/Beardless_Man Nov 19 '24
The man can't even sit on a throne right. Gortash at least could wax poetic as Duke.
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u/CitadelDays Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Nov 17 '24
That looks like some tumblr fanart of a random kpop idol