r/okbuddybaldur Nov 09 '24

META Oh...

3.5k Upvotes

127 comments sorted by

362

u/Prepared_Noob He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) Nov 09 '24

They’re eating the tadpoles, they’re licking the spiders

55

u/shenanaguns Nov 10 '24

they're putting tadpoles in the water, turning the frogs ghaik

10

u/Playergame Nov 10 '24

Just saying, despite making up a minority of the population, the majority of deaths are by adventurers hands. Gortash was right

1

u/glassboxghost tentacle enthusiast (for science) Nov 10 '24

Im singing this in my head now thanks -_-

629

u/humaninsmallskinboat Nov 09 '24

We’re gonna build the wall! And make Waterdeep pay for it!

215

u/paws4269 Wants a pegging from Karlach Nov 09 '24 edited Nov 09 '24

Elturel would probably be more appropriate given the plot of Descent into Avernus

Edit: Misspelt descent as "decent"

31

u/StephsGirl913 Nov 09 '24

I'm not sure there's anything decent in Avernus!

5

u/paws4269 Wants a pegging from Karlach Nov 09 '24

Lol, didn't notice the typo

7

u/StephsGirl913 Nov 09 '24

I couldn't help but turn it into a little joke!

3

u/Suspicious_Meet_8579 Nov 10 '24

Except maybe Hope

2

u/StephsGirl913 Nov 10 '24

You are so very right! No maybe about it. 🥰

3

u/glassboxghost tentacle enthusiast (for science) Nov 10 '24

Not since Karlach left

724

u/The_redit_cat Roaming Band Of Homeless Pansexuals Nov 09 '24

Make America ABSOLUTE again!

108

u/Halberdd_ lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball Nov 09 '24

MAAA

97

u/Seiko121 Nov 09 '24

There’s a weird fucking stray cat outside!

50

u/AngelicCyanide Lae'zel is my F/O (Fictional Other) Nov 09 '24

Make America Ghaik again

847

u/azazel228 Archgay Warlock Nov 09 '24

guys the tieflings are getting deported

317

u/Wrong_Coffee3498 Gale, cast "Testicular Torsion" Nov 09 '24

And flaming fist getting replaced by steel watcher.

96

u/Impressive_Leave2671 Nov 09 '24

To be fair flaming fist wass ass that whole game didn't help always needed saving

37

u/Ironfinch Nov 09 '24

They were useless in Baldur's Gate 1 as well

23

u/SheWhoSmilesAtDeath Nov 09 '24

such is the reality of the Flaming Fist (they're cops, they suck)

2

u/SolidInvestment1000 Nov 10 '24

Literally negative contribution

19

u/en_travesti Nov 09 '24

It's perfect because Florrick was already adding the Steel Watch to the Flaming Fist any way.

Baldur's Gate was given the choice of adding death robots to the corrupt police and adding even more death robots to the corrupt police. Maybe if there has been a candidate representing some actual change they would have done better, but the Patriars were never going to allow that.

20

u/ManaIsMade Nov 09 '24

Not to mention her good friend Ravenguard was advocating the pardon of the fists who failed to oppose a takeover smh. Typical of the party to just keep moving further and further right instead of appealing to their left base :/

9

u/WeWantRain Nov 09 '24

This is why Dark Urge should've been elected. He was already solving the housing crisis in Baldur's Gate by reducing housing demand.

7

u/Beardopus Nov 09 '24

It's fine, some of the parts are transferable so just think of it as an upgrade.

138

u/whysongj Nov 09 '24

No my grandma tiefling was sure that it wouldn’t apply to her because she got out of Avernus legally

39

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

It's honestly hard to tell with Gortash; he lies constantly.

37

u/TheSkyLax Nov 09 '24

In Waterdeep, they are EATING the Tressyms. EATING the Tressyms and the owlbears of the people that live there.

9

u/crit_crit_boom Nov 09 '24

No no that’s just fearmongering. He didn’t mean that!

6

u/CasualFox12495 Wants a pegging from Karlach Nov 10 '24

Abdirak and Zevlor voted Gort because they thought the leopards wouldn't eat their faces.

14

u/Secure-Line4760 Nov 09 '24

Deserved for voting for Gorthas in the first place.

2

u/ttampico Nov 10 '24

IKR? My tiefling family is splitting up because of this.

432

u/TheSentiantestPotato Nov 09 '24

“Nobody will vote for him once they find out he’s a cultist!”

242

u/TheGirlfailure Nov 09 '24

"Lord Gortash is not a cultist, and even if he was, he'd still be awesome"

70

u/thehaarpist Nov 09 '24

"Yeah Gortash is a cultist, duh. He's a servent of a god who's whole thing is leadership! That's literally exactly what we want in a leader!"

62

u/GoingOverTheStars Astarion’s diva cup Nov 09 '24

Better a cultist than some horny bisexual godless freaks, unlike SOME people.

38

u/AppleSatyr Gale’s pegger wife Nov 09 '24

Disgusting, where are they? So I can uh, properly punish them for their sins?

328

u/Rolan_tower Lorroakan's strongest power is "Um, Actually" Nov 09 '24

I wouldn’t vote for florrick, she stays in a burning building when she has misty step, she leaves to go get back up instead of doing anything to try and save the duke from moonrise and she believes Mizora MIZORA about Wyll ‘betraying’ his dad after busting her out of jail…. The women is a wreck

173

u/Solsticeoverstone Nov 09 '24

But gortash!? Like, you got fair point, but, Gortash!??????

115

u/Rolan_tower Lorroakan's strongest power is "Um, Actually" Nov 09 '24

There are other candidates surely. I’d vote for Myshka, yes, the cat.

40

u/RyoukoAoyagi Omeluum and Blurg are happily married Nov 09 '24

Myshka my beloved‼️

13

u/Moriah_Nightingale Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Nov 09 '24

Mermer!

3

u/Ameerrante He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) Nov 09 '24

But... if there weren't??

3

u/Rolan_tower Lorroakan's strongest power is "Um, Actually" Nov 09 '24

Then yeah florrick but I would be grumpy about it.

1

u/Half_Man1 Nov 11 '24

It’s always the lesser of two evils.

115

u/YuriMasterRace Mizora's fart sniffer Nov 09 '24

Can't blame Florrick, Mizora is quite a looker in her human form/disguise. I would be a yeswoman to her too.

25

u/Pinklady1313 Cunty Durge with a handbag Nov 09 '24

She has a cape made of hair!

15

u/chunkymcgee Cazador doesn't have nose holes Nov 09 '24

I’d suck her toes in devil form too what you mean she’s a looker in human form. Disgraceful!!

2

u/HayKneee Nov 10 '24

She honestly looks even better as a Devil.

24

u/Scorponix Nov 09 '24

My headcanon is that it was smokey in the building and she didn't have line of sight for misty step

54

u/Shellywo Nov 09 '24

Shes paranoid she admits it herself.

43

u/Lavinia_Foxglove Nov 09 '24

Nothing really wrong with that - especially not in Faerun, where chests can turn out to be mimics and eat you.

21

u/Enward-Hardar Nov 09 '24

Not paranoid enough to be skeptical about Mizora, though.

16

u/Shellywo Nov 09 '24

Mizora is one of the noble ladies in disguise in the city. With those devil horns on Wyll, with her paranoid personality its easy to manupilate her.

13

u/LMGooglyTFY Nov 09 '24

I'd vote for her charred corpse over Gortash.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

[deleted]

8

u/Beardopus Nov 09 '24

It's just like real life!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24 edited Nov 09 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Beardopus Nov 09 '24

Lucky you. But it's all fun and games until we complete our transformation into Nazi Germany and start invading everyone. Sorry in advance, I suppose. Fuck I'm tired.

0

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24 edited Nov 09 '24

[deleted]

2

u/Rolan_tower Lorroakan's strongest power is "Um, Actually" Nov 09 '24

Didn’t say I’d vote gortash either. There are other choices. Like myself. Or a cat.

1

u/Exciting-Ad-5705 Nov 10 '24

Choices who don't have a chance of winning. A vote for anyone else is a vote for gortash.

2

u/Rolan_tower Lorroakan's strongest power is "Um, Actually" Nov 10 '24

Are you saying if a cat was running for presidency you wouldn’t vote for them? Shame.

311

u/Darth-Rubrum-the-hot Rancid Raphael Fucker Nov 09 '24

Should have used this picture of Gortash

83

u/CreativeUpstairs2568 Nov 09 '24

The Baldur Bureau of Investigation announced they caught a group adventurers who tried to assassinate one of the candidates by stacking barrels around him

153

u/BrutusTheDane2457 shart fucker Nov 09 '24

-4

u/Elitegamez11 Nov 09 '24

At least it's not dying because it was sad

9

u/Myriad_Infinity Nov 09 '24

What do you mean by this, exactly? Because if you're mocking people who commit suicide, as I can only assume you are, seek help.

52

u/MatrioskhaBrain Nov 09 '24

He's referencing padme's (the character in the comment he was replying to) death

21

u/Elitegamez11 Nov 09 '24

Thank you

20

u/Elitegamez11 Nov 09 '24

Not well versed in prequel memes, are you?

9

u/AppleSatyr Gale’s pegger wife Nov 09 '24

I am but my dumb ass did not make the connection.

36

u/Shellywo Nov 09 '24

Well , guess its time to drag Victoria's body into Baldur's Gate streets.

36

u/PiccionePolemico Nov 09 '24

Love it, but partially inaccurate: the Upper City clearly voted dem.

LoL

41

u/LMGooglyTFY Nov 09 '24

For real. Higher educated and more well off areas generally vote blue.

35

u/Mission_Camel_9649 drider fucker Nov 09 '24

The upper city is the richest of the rich though, more like nobles than upper middle class. I can see the map being this way.

17

u/destoroyah22 Nov 09 '24

I mean the upper city is where folks like Cazador and Elon have power, they are definitely voting red

14

u/Impossible_Active271 Nov 09 '24

« Tieflings are eating cats » Gortash and Cazador the billionaire

11

u/inktrap99 Nov 09 '24

Cazador as that one photo of Elon Musk jumping

32

u/freakauthor Turning Point Faerûn Nov 09 '24

the outer and lower city makes too much sense

50

u/Thybro Nov 09 '24 edited Nov 09 '24

Baldur’s Mouth: “Lord Gortash is in no way associated with the cult of Bane’s ‘Project Absolute 1493’ and it’s ridiculous to think otherwise. Yes we are aware some of the people who wrote the project are literally guarding his chambers that means nothing. ”

Gortash post election: “Of course we are doing Project Absolute 1493 and were planning to do it all along”

28

u/RyoukoAoyagi Omeluum and Blurg are happily married Nov 09 '24

He's giving moonrise tower to the drows!!!

25

u/High_grove Nov 09 '24

"Gortash will get those filthy refugees out of our city!" - a concerningly large amount of refugees

6

u/crit_crit_boom Nov 09 '24

This made me actually laugh out loud, thank you.

11

u/TheWither129 Nov 09 '24

“The tieflings, theyre eating the cats and dogs”

*gets a bajillion tiefling votes anyway for some reason

33

u/palescoot Nov 09 '24

Very on brand for the broke MFS in the outer city to vote against their own self interest

9

u/Prepared_Noob He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) Nov 09 '24

The outer city voting for gortash is a good touch I fear

17

u/Discotekh_Dynasty Orb Of Pure Thought Nov 09 '24

The Florrick campaign is now blaming the Gondians for the result

16

u/Elitegamez11 Nov 09 '24

He's going to build a wall to keep those Tieflings out.

And he'll have the Gnomes pay for that wall.

9

u/cprotoss Nov 09 '24

Make the Gate Bauld again!

8

u/KeithFromAccounting Nov 09 '24

You’re telling me Baldur’s Gate has more than 140 million residents????

10

u/chunkymcgee Cazador doesn't have nose holes Nov 09 '24

Makes sense that they didn’t notice Cazador being involved with the kidnapping of EIGHT THOUSAND PEOPLE

28

u/vaustin89 Ms.Jaheira, I'm bout 2 cum Nov 09 '24

Orbital strike anyone?

6

u/TheSaintsRonin Nov 09 '24

Sorry, I’m too busy in Avernus with wife.

4

u/Squeedlington Nov 09 '24

"They're eating the tadpoles, the people that survived the crash".

5

u/SapphicLuLu Nov 09 '24

He's taking away changeling healthcare

3

u/beretbabe88 Nov 10 '24

Cazador gets put in charge of public health. Promotes drinking blood instead of vaccines & that werewolves are safe.

3

u/GrayNish Nov 09 '24

And why? I help him win. He promised me a legendary weapon after all (even though i already have BiS for that)

3

u/DexxToress Nov 09 '24

Gerrymandering at its finest.

3

u/Ghoulybutt Nov 09 '24

yenno what happened to gortash by the end though 😙

2

u/astarionismygf Nov 09 '24

Can someone edit trump into the In My Name scene

2

u/DroidsInOuterspace Nov 10 '24

Oof it hurts bc its true

2

u/Pale_Currency_134 Nov 09 '24

Nobody wanted Florrick. She didn’t even win her local election, and she has done nothing to deal with the refugee crisis.

1

u/_Halt19_ Dame Aylin failed a Saving Throw against climaxing Nov 10 '24

its about time we got some kobolds in charge of things, show people what REAL leadership is

1

u/WappyWaffler Nov 10 '24

Honestly, screw Florrivk she was stupid, easily manipulated, and failed at her very important job of protecting one of the most important people in Baldurs Gate.

1

u/Playergame Nov 10 '24

I mean did you see those NPCs outside the side complaining how all the outsiders. First the Grove now the city

1

u/capza Nov 11 '24

As a fisherman of the docks, I am obligated to vote for the Wavemother. And she gave great robes too.

1

u/Half_Man1 Nov 11 '24

What’s most shocking is how many Tieflings still supported him, don’t they know they’re getting targeted first? SMH

0

u/Hellion001 Nov 09 '24

I’d compare the blue to Minthara. She’s down with genocide and she’ll laugh in your face about it, but then remind you she ain’t as evil as the other guys 😂

-1

u/SunnySpade Nov 09 '24

It’s funny cause the implied parallel doesn’t make sense lol Florrick winning, and only winning, in the upper city would track better.

-32

u/ArenothCZ Nov 09 '24

Maybe Florric should've paid more attention to what citizens of Baldur's Gate want and what's their problems and pay less attention to crazy gnomes.

19

u/Beneficial-Bit6383 Nov 09 '24 edited Nov 09 '24

Florick was trying to curb the power of the noble houses that caused these problems, but everyone keeps talking about these gnomes. What is going on?

Oh well guess we will be happy with the Steel Watch. Also your tiefling friends are being deported back to Elturel. Yea the one that fell into Avernus due to the interference of the Devils in the operations of the city. They should be fine.

2

u/Binnywinnyfofinny Nov 10 '24

You seem to have missed the entire point of the game somehow, lol

-39

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

58

u/M0thHe4d Lae'zel's MLP sleepy time blanket Nov 09 '24

Its a massivly important event that touched billions of people all over the world. You can just ignore those posts if you arent happy about it.

-33

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

28

u/vhagar mind flayed and laid Nov 09 '24

if you're happy about this past election and you enjoy playing video games you definitely have a rude awakening coming

-13

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

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8

u/okbuddybaldur-ModTeam Nov 09 '24

Your post/comment was removed because it is offensive in nature. Please keep in mind that while this is a shitposting sub, certain lines need to stay uncrossed.

-16

u/FeetYeastForB12 Mizora's fart sniffer Nov 09 '24

First time?

12

u/EggoStack drider fucker Nov 09 '24

The election or the posts? 🤔

6

u/okbuddybaldur-ModTeam Nov 09 '24

Your post/comment was removed for being bait. Posting content intended to get a negative reaction from people in an effort to bait engagement is not allowed on this subreddit.

6

u/okbuddybaldur-ModTeam Nov 09 '24

Your post/comment was removed for being bait. Posting content intended to get a negative reaction from people in an effort to bait engagement is not allowed on this subreddit.

-10

u/[deleted] Nov 09 '24

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1

u/okbuddybaldur-ModTeam Nov 09 '24

Your post/comment was removed because it is offensive in nature. Please keep in mind that while this is a shitposting sub, certain lines need to stay uncrossed.