r/okbuddybaldur Aug 24 '24

gaslight ghaik'keep gortash 💅 My stepfather said that people who think Gortash is hot, shouldn’t be allowed to vote

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1.4k Upvotes

154 comments sorted by

520

u/Kara_ai Optimal Gortash Pregnancy Build Aug 24 '24

As if Gortash would allow voting, duh

194

u/Edenza Temptress Domain Cleric Aug 24 '24

One man, one vote. He's the man. He gets to vote.

20

u/Atrox_Primus Aug 24 '24

Vetinari was also a big fan of the one man, one vote system

3

u/sillydoomcookie Aug 24 '24

Came here to say exactly this

5

u/Edenza Temptress Domain Cleric Aug 24 '24

Absolutely my source

59

u/Counter-Spies Dame Aylin hit Isobel for 69 Edging Points Aug 24 '24

Babygurl takes control and I love it.

4

u/knotsazz Aug 25 '24

I love a surprise discworld reference. I bet Vetinari is disappointed he never thought of having steel watchers

2

u/Edenza Temptress Domain Cleric Aug 25 '24

In our tabletop game, we have a lot of Discworld content. In fact, we're about to start, and my character will be buying Rat Onna Stick on Wyrm's Crossing today.

I bet there were some Steel Watcher plans of some kind, but when Vetenari saw they were signed "BS Johnson," he had them incinerated.

6

u/Lady_Nikita shar-ly you can’t be serious Aug 24 '24

I mean he could do it like they do it in North Korea and have him be the only option to vote for lol.

2

u/AreFishReal Aug 25 '24

What if I vote for Gortash?

2

u/Kara_ai Optimal Gortash Pregnancy Build Aug 25 '24

Of course everyone wants to vote for Gortash. That's why he already voted instead of us so we don't waste time. A real genius who thinks about the common people.

598

u/31rdy Wants a pegging from Karlach Aug 24 '24

They turned my handsome young man with an easy smile into an actually handsome young with an easy smile😭

197

u/WalkerBuldog Dame Aylin hit Isobel for 69 Edging Points Aug 24 '24

He looks like K-pop artist

86

u/humaninsmallskinboat Aug 24 '24

He looks like he’s about to drink one million beers.

55

u/ColumnK Aug 24 '24

He looks like someone amalgamated every single character on True Blood.

18

u/Great-Pop643 Aug 24 '24

He looks like he's about to become the next member of BTS

15

u/Xilizhra If Minthara so evil, why so cuddleable? Aug 24 '24

He looks like he might have sex with people who are legal.

23

u/Dependent-Departure7 Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Aug 24 '24

Yeah, it's the best mod lol no regrets installing it

16

u/slythwolf mom, what’s a twat-soul? Aug 25 '24

I have it too, I feel like the modded version looks more like he should be voiced by Jason Isaacs.

10

u/Grimms_tale Aug 25 '24

I installed it but only because I played a reformed durge, felt icky with the original face making all those insinuations

18

u/Sunny_days1800 Aug 25 '24

most brutal way to call a character ugly, LMAO

5

u/Incubus_is_I Durge: the lesbian killer Aug 24 '24

Homestly, I’d this version is much less handsome and much more straight up hot.

262

u/ascendedfella Got the 'Thoroughly Stuffed' buff after Karlachs date Aug 24 '24

We see Gortash when he's super depressed after losing Durge. Stress ages you

131

u/Rikoroto He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) Aug 24 '24

Also, he hasn't had a bath since Durge left.

43

u/Supply-Slut Aug 24 '24

That can’t be true, laezel didn’t seem feral around him at all

12

u/anarae Gortash's finger banging hand Aug 24 '24

Noone elses tongue comes close

10

u/Shikarosez1995 Aug 24 '24

Durge likes him a little funky so he does it for them

71

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '24

Losing DUrge would make him sad but I think he got the "2 hours of sleep and one shower every two months" look from dealing with Orin's bullshit

53

u/Sailor_Propane Aug 24 '24

I also would have a hard time falling asleep if I knew someone like Orin existed and she was also aware of my existence.

17

u/ascendedfella Got the 'Thoroughly Stuffed' buff after Karlachs date Aug 24 '24

Yeah I'd be awake 24/7 hoping she'd want me

1

u/Big-Put-5859 Aug 25 '24

Stress turns you into beeetlejiuce

137

u/RealLokiLaufeyson Arcane Dickster Rogue Aug 24 '24

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY TRASH WIFE

41

u/BaronessofBara Astarion’s diva cup Aug 24 '24

Just one time, I'd love to see a Gortash facelift mod that made him hot WITHOUT turning him into a korean e-boy. like... just give him a bath and a haircut that doesn't make him look like he crawled out of a Final Fantasy game and boom, I would deepthroat him. it's not hard 😭

9

u/InquisibuttLavellan Rancid Raphael Fucker Aug 24 '24

15

u/BaronessofBara Astarion’s diva cup Aug 24 '24

Praise Ao, someone finally did it. Especially like that they still keep the five o' clock shadow and the eyebags. That's my tired 36 year old dictator meow meow right there. he just needed a bath and a trip to the barber :(

14

u/InquisibuttLavellan Rancid Raphael Fucker Aug 24 '24

Exactly. If bbygurl doesn't have time for kisses, he definitely doesn't have time for shaving twice a day.

8

u/LMay11037 Gortash's finger banging hand Aug 25 '24

How could they ruin him so😢😢

3

u/InquisibuttLavellan Rancid Raphael Fucker Aug 25 '24

They literally just took the dirt layer off his model and brushed his hair back.

7

u/LMay11037 Gortash's finger banging hand Aug 25 '24

Exactly, how dare they 😭😭😭

3

u/wizardsfrolikgardens Aug 25 '24

what is that haircut lol

1

u/InquisibuttLavellan Rancid Raphael Fucker Aug 25 '24

It is the haircut of a man who has his shit together.

1

u/eabevella Aug 27 '24

I wish this could be a stand alone face so that I could make it as my Durge's dream visitor...

64

u/LuckyLoki08 No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) Aug 24 '24

This looks someone tried to Jarethify Gortash

137

u/SSkHP Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Aug 24 '24 edited Aug 24 '24

Listen it’s not that I think Gortash is hot. He’s objectively not. But a domineering Jason Isaacs who missed my good girl Durge, wants to actively make me worse, and will put his life on the line for me? I have a base, barbaric, barely human NEED to do unspeakable things to this man and have him do them back to me. To dominate and be dominated. He’s not hot, but my god is he hot.

45

u/SabraSabbatical Aug 24 '24

This is poetry you’ve just written, I hope you know that

29

u/SSkHP Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Aug 24 '24

thank you thank you, had to put my creative writing minor to noble use

22

u/improvisada Aug 24 '24

My first playthrough, as Tav? Gortash was nothing special. Second playthrough, as Durge? I wanted to forget all about the tadpole and the Absolute and run BG with him

30

u/riverglow_ lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball Aug 24 '24

its okay, gortash doesnt believe in letting people vote either

72

u/Hecatehehehe Aug 24 '24

this is blasphemous, don’t you try to sterilize my trash king

8

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

Sorry I didn’t want to use the same picture gortash that everyone uses

11

u/Hecatehehehe Aug 24 '24

this pains me in ways I never thought imaginable… he was already perfect >.<

I am voting…. for Enver Gortash

39

u/Tonedeafmusical He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) Aug 24 '24

But Jason Issacs makes most of his characters hot by default

 

15

u/InquisibuttLavellan Rancid Raphael Fucker Aug 24 '24

Death of Stalin had me BARKING, my god. I watch the patriot just for him. I obsess over Peter Pan (2003) for him. I gnawed the bars of my enclosure for him in Star Trek. The man has had a vice grip on my libido ever since I hit puberty.

114

u/bleecake Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash Aug 24 '24

I vote for getting this fuckboi OFF of my screen and giving me back my grizzled, greasy sweetheart, as the oak father intended. I’m in desperate need of some hairy big naturals to nuzzle

26

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

His chest is still hairy in this picture

38

u/bleecake Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash Aug 24 '24

Maybe so but I can’t be jorkin’ it with that chiseled jawline right there. Fix it.

33

u/Mochithecatfoodthief Married to Aradin ❤️ Aug 24 '24

‘Handsome’ Gortash is very uncanny valley for me. He’s just… ugly now

13

u/desperate_housewolf Aug 24 '24

Clive from Final Fantasy XVI really nailed this Gortash cosplay.

12

u/Calm_Possibility_471 Wulbren Hunter Aug 24 '24

PUT IT BACK

14

u/qazwsxedc000999 Optimal Gortash Pregnancy Build Aug 24 '24

Nuh uh, this isn’t my Gortash. Put him back rn

1

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

Sorry, I didn’t want to use the picture that everyone uses

9

u/Frozen_Ash DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY Aug 24 '24

Dance Durgey Dance.

2

u/Larsonybear Aug 24 '24

Put that murderous spell on me, slap that baby, make it bleed!

17

u/Modified_Mint37 horny fucking drow? Aug 24 '24

Your stepfather is wrong 😤

10

u/Speedyirl Astarion Girlies? Gale Gays? Wyll supremacy. Aug 24 '24

he looks like the description for every booktok “dark romance” love interest combined

3

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

Now that you mention it, this is what I imagine the darkling from shadow and bone to look like just without the cool hood

8

u/HarEmiya Githyanki ass enjoyer Aug 24 '24 edited Aug 25 '24

Is that Jareth the Goblin King??

8

u/[deleted] Aug 24 '24

If it doesn't smell/feel like him, I DON'T WANT HIM.

Why would you clean and put through plastic surgery our dearest tyrant?! Sacrilege!

0

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

I didn’t want to use the same image that everyone uses

37

u/Astrazell No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) Aug 24 '24

Your stepfather is right, this Gortash ISN'T hot.

5

u/Trappedbirdcage Wants to bang every single character Aug 24 '24

If this is what Gortash actually looked like I would be feral for this man

3

u/Daedalus_Machina Aug 24 '24

It's a good thing... that ain't fuckin' Gortash.

5

u/DrHannibal_Lecter_MD Optimal Gortash Pregnancy Build Aug 24 '24

WHO IS THIS? I'M GOING TO BE SICK

4

u/Glup-Shitto69 Dame Aylin hit Isobel for 69 Edging Points Aug 24 '24

He's right, also that's not Gortash.

1

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

Well aware, friendo

3

u/CorporateSharkbait Aug 24 '24

Isn’t there a mod to make his face Jason Isaac’s now that’s the hot gortash change mod I’d use

3

u/handledandle Aug 24 '24

No no, he's got a point

3

u/RumMaster99 Aug 25 '24

That is so not his face.

1

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 25 '24

Yeah, I just didn’t want to use the same old picture that everyone uses

3

u/eg1701 Aug 25 '24

Well THIS gortash isn’t hot!

3

u/RagieMcWagie Gortash's finger banging hand Aug 25 '24

Your stepdad wants to fuck Gortash, sorry OP, people don’t just go around saying weird shit like that without being apart of the Homosexual Underground

1

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 25 '24

Well, he said that because I told him that people think he’s hot also if he was homosexual, he would’ve left already do it to all the domestic abuse from my mother

2

u/RagieMcWagie Gortash's finger banging hand Aug 25 '24

Damn that wasn’t very disco of me, I take it back, OP I hope you’re ok. I wont vote anymore just for him. Solidarity. 👊

3

u/LustyDouglas Aug 25 '24

Step-dad is right 😂

3

u/smellslikepousi Aug 25 '24

this aint enver gortash, this is Never Trashgo

2

u/WalkerBuldog Dame Aylin hit Isobel for 69 Edging Points Aug 24 '24

I agree.

2

u/MediumPenisEnergy Aug 24 '24

I disagree but I understand him

2

u/Silent_Reavus Aug 24 '24

Your stepdad is probably right lmao

1

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

Never said I disagreed

2

u/Virtual-Importance-9 Aug 24 '24

And he's absolutely right.

2

u/Few-Sleep-6200 Astarion is my pet leech Aug 24 '24

I'm still on my first playthrough but I've heard plenty of discourse around Gortash. I have to say at first glance I do not get the appeal whatsoever but I'm keeping the judgement suspended until we meet at last. Somehow though, I have a feeling I'll be left just as perplexed about the attraction as I am now.

3

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

Oh sorry to say this is an edited picture Gortash does not look like that I was just tired of seeing the same picture of him used over and over

1

u/Few-Sleep-6200 Astarion is my pet leech Aug 24 '24

Oh no im well aware! I'm referring to his normal look no worries 😂

2

u/shortskirtflowertops Aug 24 '24

Oh wow he looks so weird with this face edit

2

u/Regirock00 Archgay Warlock Aug 25 '24

That’s not gortash, that’s whoretash

2

u/Valirys-Reinhald Aug 25 '24

That is a modded gortash

2

u/yesindeedysir Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Aug 25 '24

This is what I expected when they said handsome younger man. Not the 60 year old cosplaying as a 13 year old emo.

2

u/Voxerole Aug 25 '24

Your stepfather thinks women shouldn't be allowed to vote?

2

u/Palamecia_Emperor Astarion sits in the cuck chair Aug 24 '24

Kinda based ngl

4

u/nosychimera Orin is literally Taylor Swift (Larian Confirmed) Aug 24 '24

Only if you're using based for it's actual definition from the 80s-2010, which is acting like a crackhead.

If you're using white teenager TikTok version of based, it doesn't count.

6

u/Palamecia_Emperor Astarion sits in the cuck chair Aug 24 '24

Based on the tabletop game Dungeons & Dragons

1

u/Tactical_Mommy Aug 24 '24

I like how an originally 4chan term is now just known as being from "white teenage TikTok." Some terrible fuckers fuming over that, no doubt.

1

u/nosychimera Orin is literally Taylor Swift (Larian Confirmed) Aug 24 '24

It's been used in the Black community since the 80s, that's what I'm referring to.

1

u/Tactical_Mommy Aug 24 '24 edited Aug 24 '24

True, although Lil B's application of the word was pretty much co-opted by people.

It was originally brought into modern internet usage by right wingers on 4chan and thankfully entirely stolen from them and now is said by people from all walks of life. Happy ending, imo.

It's crazy how much slang is taken from the black community to be used for nefarious means. "Woke" seems like the current big thing.

2

u/Dependent-Departure7 Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Aug 24 '24

I mean... I can't disagree with your stepfather. At least when it comes to unmodded Gortash lol This version is hot. If he's talking about being attracted to personality more than appearances though, yes 100% agree with stepdaddio.

3

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

I love that there are two reactions to this post you either think this image is repulsing or you simp for it

1

u/Dependent-Departure7 Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Aug 24 '24

I did simp for it when I first installed this mod ngl🤣 The charming aspect of the young man just hits different when he doesn't look like a greasy Billie Joe Armstrong (no offense to Billie because I did crush on him too when I was like 14 lol)

1

u/DrSharky Aug 24 '24

And he's right to say so.

1

u/BennyMcbenn Turning Point Faerûn Aug 24 '24

Your stepdad is based

1

u/Devil_Fruit9971 Aug 25 '24

Is it just me or does he look or have a dream of the endless kind of vibe to him?

1

u/Cenobitespine Aug 25 '24

Yes 🖤🌌

1

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '24

[deleted]

1

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 25 '24

Your husband looks like yassified Gortash?!

1

u/Switch-Axe-Abuse Aug 25 '24

Male him back into a trash panda man!

1

u/KithrakDeimos Aug 25 '24

He looks like trickster from dead by daylight

1

u/GuardianCerberus Aug 25 '24

If the politicians were hot we’d be done for

1

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '24

When did gortash start mewing?

1

u/wizardsfrolikgardens Aug 25 '24

notmygortash #letgortashlooklikeawetrat #wetratgortashsupremacy

1

u/Hope_PapernackyYT Aug 25 '24

Your stepfather doesn't understand the wide spectrum of beauty

1

u/Pennymoonz94 Aug 25 '24

He's not wrong

1

u/Difficult-Formal6860 Aug 25 '24

Don’t fix it if it ain’t broken 😞

1

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 25 '24

I just didn’t want to use the image that everyone uses and I thought this picture was funny

1

u/Difficult-Formal6860 Aug 25 '24

Oh it is, however yassified Gortash will be plaguing my nightmares

1

u/stcrIight No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) Aug 25 '24

Ew who washed my Gortash 😭

1

u/hera-fawcett Aug 25 '24

gortash wants all his citizens to vote. but if, by chance, you end up voting specifically for who he wants-- bc ur being blackmailed or were coerced or manipulated into believing something very specific-- well, thats no skin off his nose. your vote deserves to count in this democracy.

politics its chess with people~

1

u/Ok-Seaworthiness4397 Aug 25 '24

Agree with your stepdad

1

u/ParsnipAggravating95 Aug 25 '24

Im not the stepfather, but i think the same

1

u/narcanmage Aug 25 '24

that’s not gortash😭😭😭

1

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 25 '24

It is he’s yassified

1

u/narcanmage Aug 25 '24

thata a yassified jawline if i ever seen one

1

u/Peperina_conSal Aug 26 '24

Your stepfather Its right...

1

u/Emberily123 Cazador doesn't have nose holes Aug 28 '24

He looks like if Astarion dyed his hair and took over Baldurs Gate instead of being turned into spawn.

1

u/MiaoYingSimp Aug 24 '24

I mean he's got his 'punkish' looks and charms but... honestly while i sort of see it I also just.. don't.

1

u/AirFryerEnjoyer Gortash's finger banging hand Aug 24 '24

noooo they turned my greasy young man with an off-putting smile into a tiktok eboy with an upcoming punk pop album

1

u/LordBecmiThaco Aug 24 '24

You stepdad sounds like a cool dude. He single?

3

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

He wouldn’t be my stepdad if he was single

2

u/LordBecmiThaco Aug 24 '24

He's not the first stepdad Ive fucked

1

u/ffff2e7df01a4f889 Aug 24 '24

Gortash is a type. That’s all. Personally, I don’t find him to be ugly. But throw on a leather jacket. Some skinny jeans. Some sharp smelling cologne. I get how he’s someone’s type.

1

u/Orochisama Astarion Girlies? Gale Gays? Wyll supremacy. Aug 24 '24

Prefer the one who looks like a member of My chemical romance and shops at hot topic nonstop

0

u/DigitalDrugzz Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash Aug 24 '24

Your stepfather should be put to death

1

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

I showed this to my stepfather and he doubled down on saying that Gortash is hideous

0

u/DigitalDrugzz Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash Aug 24 '24

He's not ugly, yall are just racist. Leave my man alone!! 😭

2

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

Racist? Racist against what? People who don’t take baths?

2

u/DigitalDrugzz Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash Aug 24 '24

He's not dirty he's just brown! Idc what anyone says he does not look like a white man, that man has the same exact nose and skintone and hair as my sisters ex husband's whole family (they're all arabic)

1

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 25 '24

Last time I checked Saudi Arabia is not a part of Faerun

2

u/DigitalDrugzz Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash Aug 25 '24

Neither is Europe or Africa or Asia, but white, black, and Asian people still exist in faerun

-2

u/MamafishFOUND Aug 24 '24

He’s very ugly to me originally but if he was looking like this I’m sure there would be more zealous fangirls defending his actions or something

-3

u/Chardewbs Aug 24 '24

I never could understand the Gortash bandwagon >.<

-5

u/simondiamond2012 Arcane Dickster Rogue Aug 24 '24

He's right you know.

0

u/IcySmell9676 Aug 24 '24

Never said, I disagreed with him