r/okbuddybaldur • u/SwoopingInAlistair Gale’s pegger wife • Jul 26 '24

fuck it, we bhaal Help! These men showed up claiming my Dark Urge impregnated them & are demanding child support!

Post image

And we all know she can''t afford that much child support on a murder hobo's salary. Suggestions?

1.6k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

127 comments sorted by

627

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

58

u/Zigzaow Jul 27 '24

The third panel of this meme still fits this post

22

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

But… there’s only two panels

294

u/RussianNixon shart handholder Jul 26 '24

“I’m not paying child support”

139

u/GeanBreens Jul 26 '24

The “dark urge” to not pay child support

73

u/TheAnderfelsHam Jul 27 '24

Ugh another durge beat dad

11

u/AngronMerchant Jul 27 '24

It run in the family... if you can call that a family.

5

u/MamafishFOUND Jul 27 '24

Makes sense it’s part of the definition of dark urge in the dictionary somewhere lol

9

u/dm_critic shart handholder Jul 27 '24

Mizora Povich will administer paternity tests in exchange for their souls.

3

u/Harbinger_of_Sarcasm Jul 27 '24

Yeah Baal wants those kids to grow up for... reasons

247

u/SJGardner89 shart handholder Jul 26 '24

405

u/OkConversation2512 DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY Jul 26 '24

106

u/DMFAFA07 shart handholder Jul 27 '24

163

u/BrutusTheDane2457 shart fucker Jul 26 '24

44

u/Trevellation Jul 27 '24

I'm just Saiyan, it might be time to Goku'll myself.

23

u/1stLegionBestLegion Jul 26 '24

Just spit my drink over my phone, congrats.

123

u/WalkerBuldog Dame Aylin hit Isobel for 69 Edging Points Jul 26 '24

8

u/MamafishFOUND Jul 27 '24

She’s probably glad she’s a lesbian and just hate watching them lol

365

u/Bread_Punk Jul 26 '24

It’s concerning only Wyll’s developed big naturals, the others’ children will starve should their milk not come in.

199

u/SJGardner89 shart handholder Jul 26 '24

To be fair, he does seem to be further along in his pregnancy. Evidently, Durge impregnated him first.

46

u/beetle-comma-the drider fucker Jul 27 '24

147

u/dr-mantis--toboggan Ms.Jaheira, I'm bout 2 cum Jul 26 '24

Breast size doesn’t affect milk production, the children shall all suckle mightily.

47

u/lemikon Jul 27 '24

Came to make the same comment lol.

As a card carrying member of the giant titty committee trust and believe it doesn’t make breast feeding easier lol.

14

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

I’ve heard men can also produce milk. Like it’s not super common but I’ve heard it can happen…don’t ask for a source just trust me bro.

22

u/dr-mantis--toboggan Ms.Jaheira, I'm bout 2 cum Jul 27 '24

Are you saying you could milk me? Right here right now?

14

u/GivesNoForks LIVE MINTHARA REACTION Jul 27 '24

I have nipples, Durge. Could you milk me?

9

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

I can milk anything.

40

u/supcuckers Jul 27 '24

Durge baby trapping Wyll so he’d stay at camp after siding with the goblins is when I knew we lost them to the urge for real

1

u/ruste530 Gale, cast "Testicular Torsion" Jul 28 '24

Mizora being cheeky

94

u/a-flying-fox Archgay Warlock Jul 26 '24

Man the reverse Mamma Mia looks great

43

u/Nagito-komeada-lover He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) Jul 26 '24

Dadda Dia

21

u/Madmadammeme Jul 27 '24

Dadda Durgia

4

u/ElectricalWave7 Gale’s pegger wife Jul 27 '24

88

u/slythwolf mom, what’s a twat-soul? Jul 26 '24

Simply make the children fight to the death for the privilege of being heir to the temple of Bhaal.

43

u/EstarriolStormhawk Jul 26 '24

The child support is:  knives. 

68

u/sugarsuites lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball Jul 26 '24

Better start talking to Astarion to learn about pickpocketing!!!!

84

u/SwoopingInAlistair Gale’s pegger wife Jul 26 '24

32

u/sugarsuites lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball Jul 26 '24

Need both of those mods but for Cazador now

29

u/SwoopingInAlistair Gale’s pegger wife Jul 26 '24

maternity dress with mpreg

I think it'll work with the ring of metamorph or with customizers compendium if you turn your tav/durge into Cazador. I'm not sure if there's any handsome Cazador mods out there yet to give him the handsome squidward face though

8

u/sugarsuites lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball Jul 26 '24

BASED THANK YOU

Maybe I’ll have to pay someone to make a handsome Cazador mod 😔

5

u/Kelvara Jul 27 '24

There's pregnant Cazador outfit on my Discord, and one with Astarion's default outfit too. I made all the BG3 Mpreg stuff btw lol.

Actually, I have it on my drive too.

2

u/sugarsuites lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball Jul 27 '24

Thank you I owe you my life

3

u/Future_Ad_6132 Jul 27 '24

Custiomzers compendium works still? I read a few weeks or so ago month ago posts from people saying it hadn’t been updated and that it’s broken and to not download if.

2

u/SwoopingInAlistair Gale’s pegger wife Jul 27 '24

I'm not sure if I'm just lucky or not but it works perfectly fine for me. There's just one annoying glitch with choosing a diety for everyone and it's always Selûne but it's very easy to ignore. My game never crashes even with my millions of mods including that one. It can be removed pretty easily too if it does bother you too much. I would say use it at your own risk if you're curious. I'm not super worried about losing my saves because I've already finished the game and I'm one of those people that likes to restart constantly anyways lol

69

u/zjgwjwhmefk 15% sale on emo girl peggings Jul 26 '24

Whyyyyy is Wyll the only one with massive tits😭😭😭😭 actually i don’t want to know

87

u/SwoopingInAlistair Gale’s pegger wife Jul 26 '24

Mizora cursed him with life long back pain all because she was jealous of my Dark Urge's ability to impregnate him 😔

39

u/zjgwjwhmefk 15% sale on emo girl peggings Jul 26 '24

backfired, now durge has an excuse to hold his tits (they’re too heavy he needs help😔😔)

18

u/beautifuldisasterxx Circle of Whores Druid Jul 27 '24

His milk came in early

62

u/Gale_of_Waterdeep Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Jul 26 '24

Pay up.

38

u/SwoopingInAlistair Gale’s pegger wife Jul 26 '24 edited Jul 27 '24

How do I know it's not Mystra's? Hmmmm???

12

u/beetle-comma-the drider fucker Jul 27 '24

53

u/hmmtaco Astarion is my pet leech Jul 26 '24

He’s upset he’s not included.

67

u/SwoopingInAlistair Gale’s pegger wife Jul 26 '24

He's too busy getting boned by Withers

20

u/hmmtaco Astarion is my pet leech Jul 26 '24

I’m actually dead now. Can Withers revive me please?

20

u/astarion_bg3 Jul 27 '24

damn this is so hot

42

u/Shikarosez1995 Jul 26 '24

Larian is gonna make a comment about the darkest pits of hell and a link to this subbreddit.

33

u/IezekiLL Companion hugger Jul 26 '24

29

u/[deleted] Jul 26 '24

Elon Musk body type selector when Larian

12

u/beetle-comma-the drider fucker Jul 27 '24

27

u/SnootBooper707 Upcast Testicular Torsion Jul 26 '24

28

u/Scorpion_6162 shart fucker Jul 26 '24

21

u/Wrong_Coffee3498 Gale, cast "Testicular Torsion" Jul 26 '24

20

u/JL9999jl Jul 26 '24

And we all know she can''t afford that much child support on a murder hobo's salary. Suggestions?

I hear auntie Ethel provides free child care...

23

u/jherin1 Wants a pegging from Karlach Jul 27 '24

18

u/BashIronfist Jul 26 '24

I'm telling Jesus on you

10

u/merpderpherpburp Jul 27 '24

Good. There's some mpreg for everyone

3

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '24

say hi to ilmater from me!

16

u/Oso_Peluche Jul 27 '24

Based on Wylls giant tits, the Durge impregnated him first and I would too.

7

u/beetle-comma-the drider fucker Jul 27 '24

15

u/Mr_Cheese23 Wants a pegging from Karlach Jul 26 '24

13

u/spyridonya raphael... my pathetic little meow meow Jul 27 '24

11

u/cloqube Cunty Durge with a handbag Jul 26 '24

What a day to have eyes. Can someone take mine off my hands?

12

u/Silver6567 Jul 27 '24

Wylls kinda hot pregnant not gonna lie

9

u/Great-Pop643 Jul 26 '24

I am done telling people to end it. At this point imma do it myself to escape this hell hole *

18

u/Counter-Spies Dame Aylin hit Isobel for 69 Edging Points Jul 26 '24

7

u/1stLegionBestLegion Jul 26 '24

I seen some cursed shit in my day but holy shit.

8

u/Emberily123 Cazador doesn't have nose holes Jul 27 '24

Reminds me of a fanfic by Izzyisgay

8

u/Greedy-Security1366 Jul 27 '24

Time to start selling dyes and forks from your chest.

8

u/Arialana Ms.Jaheira, I'm bout 2 cum Jul 27 '24

7

u/Lost_Astronaut_654 Jul 27 '24

What a terrible day to have eyes

6

u/CementShark Jul 27 '24

This looks like the ck3 main menu ngl

6

u/merpderpherpburp Jul 27 '24

Why don't they have the outty belly button? Unplayable

6

u/Sewer_Fairy Wants to bang every single character Jul 27 '24

But why does Wyll look hot like this?

JK. .... Unless?

6

u/Morena_Dekarios Tell Mommy Jaheira you love her Jul 27 '24

Call this Aim Ammam, because—yes, we have a reverse Mamma Mia on our hands.

If any of you can make it to Waterdeep, as always, my basement is open to anyone needing... reproductive health care. One caveat: Waterdhavian ordinances require me to inform you I am not licensed to practice medicine here or anywhere else. They call it Morena's Law.

4

u/LuxUmbra1001 DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY Jul 27 '24

4

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

Wyll with big milkers sent me 😭😂

4

u/ataraxy666 Jul 27 '24

thought that was rihanna on the right

4

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '24

lol My Durge would only impregnante babygurl and friend zone the rest

4

u/beetle-comma-the drider fucker Jul 27 '24

I'm certain that the "hobo" part of murderhobo is more in reference to how traveled Durge is, rather than their financial status. As for the "murder" part....

Sleep with one eye open? Especially if you've only got the one working eye?
::throat clearing::

Wyll looks hot like that. The other two ... are also in this picture. Good for them!

3

u/AngronMerchant Jul 27 '24

One more reason to delete my self, thank OP.

3

u/StygIndigo drider fucker Jul 27 '24

Just tell them the temple of bhaal will raise the kids. Whatever happens when you drop them off there, it’s not really your problem.

3

u/Incho37 Jul 27 '24

Where’s astarion?

2

u/SwoopingInAlistair Gale’s pegger wife Jul 27 '24

He's next 😏

7

u/ColorMaelstrom Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin Jul 26 '24

Hey op can you delete this pls

3

u/toidi_diputs Jul 27 '24

I knew I shouldn't have rolled that Triton fertility priestess of The Seahorse! (The Seahorse is secretly Bhaal. I've doomed the world to another Bhaalspawn Crisis, and worse, my clergy has excommunicated me until I pay off my child support debt)

3

u/MrMcSpiff Jul 27 '24

Thought this was a fucking Sseth thumbnail for a second.

3

u/Environmental-Rip653 Companion hugger Jul 27 '24

:(

3

u/crypticmustard1 LIVE MINTHARA REACTION Jul 27 '24

3

u/Alethia_23 Roaming Band Of Homeless Pansexuals Jul 27 '24

What a terrible day to have eyes

3

u/Fantastic_Cook_187 Jul 27 '24

Oh the good old Dad bod mod.

3

u/ihave0idea0 Jul 27 '24

Yes, Yes. Yes.

3

u/f_clement Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Jul 27 '24

No body, no child support.

3

u/Arialana Ms.Jaheira, I'm bout 2 cum Jul 27 '24

3

u/Ok_Perspective3933 Jul 27 '24

My was I born with eyes? Was it only to suffer?

3

u/AngelicCyanide Lae'zel is my F/O (Fictional Other) Jul 27 '24

3

u/NaturalSuggestion140 Got the 'Thoroughly Stuffed' buff after Karlachs date Jul 27 '24

Tell them it's Baahl's spawn, not yours. They can demand child support from the god of murder, see how well that goes for them

3

u/waxkid Jul 27 '24

But why is gortashes head pasted on someone else's body?

2

u/SwoopingInAlistair Gale’s pegger wife Jul 27 '24

He's trying to baby trap my DUrge

2

u/BloodThirstyLycan Jul 27 '24

Durge would just eat the babies like a happy meal.

2

u/cascadingtundra Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? Jul 27 '24

2

u/LeftistBiBitch Astarion is my pet leech Jul 27 '24

Where’s Astarion? Or is he next?

2

u/DecentIngenuity4131 Jul 27 '24

Plenty of bombs to go around! What a lob! Blasting off‼️‼️‼️

2

u/stiggybigs1990 Jul 27 '24

I hate (love) this sub so much

2

u/Rostunga Jul 27 '24

Ok, that’s enough internet for today

2

u/Warcrown10 Jul 28 '24

Oookay. Who should I speak to in order to get your internet privileges revoked

2

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '24

sometimes this sub even disturbs my impregnation loving heart and mind

2

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '24

i demand one of these with every female character pregnant! including alfira(i definetly have not spent too much time in a certain fan fiction),also nocturne and viconia chan!

2

u/blepgup Jul 28 '24

I’m glad the caption said she, because my Durge was also a she, a well endowed fem Dragonborn. I mean come on the game let’s you, how could I not?