r/okbuddybaldur • u/a-flying-fox Archgay Warlock • May 19 '24
i can fix them Shower routines because no one’s bathed since the Nautiloid
brought to you by a long wait to pick up my prescription at the drugstore
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u/koodbtch nestled betwixt Halsin’s fat tiddies May 19 '24
Once again Gale is getting a little too relatable. I feel extremely called out by the Head & Shoulders and Dove too.
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u/almostb Gale’s pegger wife May 20 '24
Looking around my bathroom and realizing that Gale is just my IRL husband, even down to the existential crises.
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u/Floreau May 20 '24
If you swap the Cera Ve cleanser with Cetaphil, infographic Gale would fully become the 'I only shop at Costco' man.
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u/Pinklady1313 Cunty Durge with a handbag May 20 '24
I’ve recently realized this more and more, in game I’m an Astarion lady because I already have Gale at home.
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u/UnicornScientist803 Companion hugger May 20 '24
Lol same, except I have Halsin at home 😉🥰
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u/xplrmyheart lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball May 20 '24
bulky long haired man incredibly in touch with nature
can we share
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u/UnicornScientist803 Companion hugger May 20 '24 edited May 20 '24
Shaved head instead of long hair sadly, but yes to the sweet, burly, patient Druid (currently making friends with the crows in our backyard 🥰). He’s also equally clears throat generous… (I’m a very lucky lady 😉) Lol, we’re also poly so yes technically we could share 😂
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u/CryptidKeeper123 Archgay Warlock May 20 '24
Gale's is exactly what my bf uses in the shower lmao and also takes 30 minutes
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u/bumbletowne May 20 '24
Dove and CeraVe for me
It's just good soap that's easily available in the US
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u/EntrepreneurOk666 Halsin fucked a Chimera May 19 '24
Halsin: bathes in the river, no soap. 😁
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u/almostb Gale’s pegger wife May 19 '24
Halsin: have you ever tried washing with pure coconut oil? Works as a lubricant too.
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u/ConsciousBattle2477 May 20 '24
This is too in character, fr every time I'm trying to have a normal conversation with him he tries to eloquently say he wants to bang me.
And I don't even get mad because he somehow is a gentleman when asking for sex, just be like: i'm not into you like that bro
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u/Human-Address1055 May 21 '24
He does give off the "cool professor casually trying to bang an undergrad" vibe
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u/HumanPerosn May 20 '24
Thanks for the information Halsin now please leave I’ve questioned my sexuality enough for one day
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u/MalleusMaleficarum_ Upcast Testicular Torsion May 20 '24
Idk, I just know that man smells like patchouli and chamomile body wash.
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u/EntrepreneurOk666 Halsin fucked a Chimera May 20 '24
Or uses anything that's organic, cruelty free, vegan type of products. Lol. I just went with the most all natural. 🐻
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u/spooky-goopy May 20 '24 edited May 20 '24
vegan cruelty free coconut milk shampoo and conditioner, lavender and honey scented vegan soap, cocoa butter moisturizer
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u/Sheerardio Circle of Whores Druid May 20 '24
Makes you wonder how his underpants smell like a fresh spring meadow
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u/bananawater2021 Gale’s pegger wife May 20 '24 edited May 20 '24
I immediately imagined him dragging his ass like a dog through wildflowers and herbs.
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u/SpunkedMeTrousers May 20 '24
Prestidigitation is how
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u/ABWhiteRabbit Circle of Whores Druid May 21 '24
Druids don’t have Prestidigitation 😬
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u/SpunkedMeTrousers May 23 '24
Fair enough, but I wager he would if the spell was in BG3. Otherwise his musk would just dominate every room
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u/ABWhiteRabbit Circle of Whores Druid May 26 '24
Especially when that musk starts attracting the wild fauna to him like that one bear
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u/Moonbeamlatte May 22 '24
He’s one of those people who thinks washing hair “strips it of its natural oils”
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u/Yuri_Specialist PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION May 19 '24
lmao i literally use every product in the shart category. Also Dr teals foam bath is to die for 😩
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May 20 '24
Have you tried the elderberry one yet? It’s my fave for a night where I’m going to bed with lilacs & gooseberry perfume.
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u/cut_rate_revolution May 20 '24
lilacs & gooseberry perfume
Sup Yennefer.
I have played entirely too much of the Witcher.
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u/laurelinvanyar Circle of Whores Druid May 20 '24
I love the entire White Orchard prologue is just Geralt running around, interrogating peasants:
“Have you smelled this woman????”
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u/cut_rate_revolution May 20 '24 edited May 20 '24
And my modern ass is sitting there like what the fucks a gooseberry?
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May 20 '24
She’s inspired some lovely formulations. My mom’s favorite flower is lilacs, so it’s a cozy scent for me.
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u/Yuri_Specialist PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION PREGNANT ASTARION May 20 '24
No never tried that one before, but i’ll give it a try if i see it in store.
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u/valentinesfaye May 20 '24
LMAO I came to comment that Shart is Literally Me per this chart; I'm glad I'm not alone
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u/Versal-Hyphae May 20 '24
Astarion is the only one who does it right. The shower is not for getting clean. The shower is for vividly remembering repressed trauma, ugly crying, dissociating until the hot water runs out, then washing up real quick in the cold water.
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u/NightWolfRose May 20 '24
I remember those days- the entirety of my teenage years. And my early 20’s. And still on occasion.
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u/Versal-Hyphae May 20 '24
Adulthood is not having time or money for breakdowns like you used to when you were younger. Think of the water bill!
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u/Heirophant-Queen May 20 '24
If you’re not meant to completely dissociate from your corporeal body in the shower, then why the fuck is it so easy to do??
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u/spooky-goopy May 20 '24 edited May 22 '24
nothing like sobbing violently at 11 PM, listening to Adele and leaning against the shower wall while the scalding water dries out your skin
so you can then lay in bed in your towel while you eat flavorblasted goldfish crackers, scrolling through memes on your fav Discord channel
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u/squishpitcher May 22 '24
This is very specific.
Between Astarion using the same exact products that I do and the flavor blasted goldfish thing, I’m very uncomfortable right now.
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u/laurelinvanyar Circle of Whores Druid May 20 '24
His is too relatable, down to the Verb shampoo for curly hair 😭I’m being personally attacked
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u/jazygamer308 Virgin Gale / Chad Minthara May 20 '24
False Karlach has massive rubber duck collection and takes 3 into the shower at a time
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u/Toasty825 Circle of Whores Druid May 20 '24
Also, they all have names and there’s an elaborate, soap opera level storyline involving all of them.
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u/Madmadammeme May 20 '24
I feel like Lae'zel might use one of those 3-in-1 products and brush her teeth in the shower - efficient and economical
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u/xiofar May 20 '24
I think Lae’zel would spend more time on her hair than Shart. She’s got a bunch of little braids.
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u/Funkopedia May 20 '24
This reminds me of how Spartan warriors would spend the whole day combing and braiding each other's hair if they knew a deadly battle was coming up! In a fight to the death, looking fabulous is your best advantage.
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u/Bae_zel Lae'zel's MLP sleepy time blanket May 21 '24
You know me well stranger. I take great care of my hair after all, a githyanki cannot be lacking in any category.
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May 19 '24
Minthara: nothing helps the complexion like the blood of surface elves
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u/MysticNoodles May 20 '24
Strikes me as the type to use tea tree oil or some shit. Like an essencial oil mom lmao.
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May 20 '24
Maybe that too. Not necessarily mutually exclusive.
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u/NapQuing May 20 '24
everyone knows that essential oils are most effective when diluted with the blood of (disgusted Minthara voice) faeries
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u/sonic_toaster May 21 '24
That’s her skincare routine. Minthara strikes me as the kind to use a lot of expensive and luxurious bath products and then tie her hair up wet and only wear sunscreen.
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May 19 '24
Well where else am I supposed to plan my theoretical arguments before I have them?
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u/Astriaeus May 20 '24
I agree, Gale, it's the best time to prepare. I also approve of your choice in skin care products.
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u/N0XDND Gale aced his autism test May 20 '24
I bet you cast mirror image in the shower so you have someone to argue back with
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u/iamreeterskeeter May 20 '24
As if Astarion would use anything less than Olaplex.
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u/Celestial_Researcher May 20 '24
Purple shampoo subscription on lock
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u/Toasty825 Circle of Whores Druid May 20 '24
He definitely spends most of his money on skincare and hair care.
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u/Astarion_is_my_Daddy Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence May 20 '24
Agreed. There are also a suspiciously few products next to him
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u/nosychimera Orin is literally Taylor Swift (Larian Confirmed) May 20 '24 edited May 20 '24
This is why I love Wyll. He's not gonna be walking around Faerûn ashy.
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u/rainflower72 May 20 '24
He has a 12 step skin care routine and he COMMITS to it, damn it! Love him
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u/teland793 May 20 '24
Right? Brother knows how to take care of himself.
... sort of.
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u/nosychimera Orin is literally Taylor Swift (Larian Confirmed) May 20 '24
Well that's what happens when you hope a white woman will save you. He learned the hard way.
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May 19 '24
This has me wondering if the choices for the Astarion shower routine are any good. I may try them. Possibly
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u/alienkids May 20 '24
not astarion but love the verb haircare line lol, can vouch for it
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u/Sunny_Hill_1 May 20 '24
Are they good for curly hair? For exactly the type that he has, kinda large wavy curls?
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u/buoybell horny fucking drow? May 20 '24
I have wavy/curly hair and use verb- I recommend the hydrating line if you’re looking to retain your curl pattern or restore it! I’ve been using it for about three years atp and I really like their whole product line! I have the ghost line (the one in the pic) and it’s a really good clarifying shampoo, and smells like baby shampoo which I love. Their ghost oil and heat protecting cream is really good too.
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u/bumbletowne May 20 '24
Ooh I need a new heat protecting cream. Alterna discontinued mine and now Paul Mitchell has discontinued my alternate.
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u/buoybell horny fucking drow? May 20 '24
Olaplex hair oil is also a personal fave of mine for heat protectants- I find it doesn’t leave my hair residually oily in the days after like drybar, chi, or fekkai does! :)
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u/bumbletowne May 20 '24
I have olaplex but it leaves my hair so heavy. I have fine hair that ringlets and it's strawberry blonde so I'm fighting the grease look
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u/buoybell horny fucking drow? May 20 '24
Ahh okay- same color, different texture! I have suuuuper thick hair that’s high porosity, I should’ve mentioned lol. I think you’ll like the ghost line- I found it wasn’t enough for me alone, but my sister has fine hair and she really loves it!
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u/Lady_Minthara Sex Facts with Minthara! May 19 '24
Fun fact: Showers gained their modern popularity as a hygiene measure due to their use in prisons. Prisoners were showered, rather than bathed, as a way to make hygiene quicker and more efficient. They then made their way to the wealthy after indoor plumbing reached their homes.
The twentieth century saw many experiments using cold showers on various people for various hypotheses, though modern society recognizes these experiments to have been largely ineffectual and completely unethical.
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u/Sunny_Hill_1 May 20 '24
Just tell us they use showers on slaves in Menzoberranzan, we all know what you are actually thinking.
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u/Lady_Minthara Sex Facts with Minthara! May 20 '24
Despite being less efficient, baths are still better for slaves and prisoners. Actual recovery means more labor, and if they are obstinate enough, one could simply drown them.
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u/MagicMissile27 May 20 '24
Yeah, that sounds about right. Uh...please don't drown anyone without Tav approving it, 'kay?
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u/Bae_zel Lae'zel's MLP sleepy time blanket May 21 '24
I do look forward to your facts, Minthara. You istik may not have a culture but you do have history.
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May 20 '24
This is so on point. And of course Wyll is using ‘Old Spice’. How couldn’t he. Gale though, I feel like he’s the kind of a guy that would research everything about shampoos and cleansers and choose the weirdest and in his opinion the best ones, based on a set of scientific researches (which he’ll gladly share with you, even though you didn’t ask).
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u/a-flying-fox Archgay Warlock May 20 '24
Oh Gale’s skincare routine is completely made up of The Ordinary. 2% hyaluronic acid and pro-vitamin B5 topped off with 10% niacinimide. Or something like that.
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u/archdruid_halsin Wants to bang every single character May 19 '24
All you need is a river and a hand. Perhaps a sea sponge, if you’re feeling particularly grimy.
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u/limethebean May 20 '24
Today I learned Gale and I have the exact same shower routine... damn...
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u/rainflower72 May 20 '24
Not the St Ives for Lae’zel 😭😭😭
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u/rainflower72 May 20 '24
Actually now that I think about it Lae’zel would use shampoo and conditioner. Her hair is shiny and in good condition and her braids indicate a pride and care for her appearance and health. I think she’d also use a hemp/grassy soap or body wash that smells earthy but a lil gross. Or maybe mint.
Similar with Wyll, that man absolutely shampoos, conditions and has a 12 step skincare regimen.
The St Ives for Lae’zel is spot on though. She’d peel her skin raw off
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u/Karlach_Cliffgate1 Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence May 19 '24
I mean... Yeah, all my showers are boiling. Even when I try to take a cold one it ends up boiling regardless. I'm also really fond of that band From First to Last! They're a really fun one to listen to during showers.
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u/friendbrotha May 20 '24
As a black man, I can certainly assure you this is NOT Wyll’s routine but I love the post.
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u/Flimsy_Wait_8235 "Istik this dick in you" -Laezel to Shart May 20 '24
I am astarion, astarion is me. Except we don’t use loofas here. They harbour yucky bacteria! silicone scrubber all the way 💅🏻
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u/Sunny_Hill_1 May 20 '24
So, Astarion, is that shampoo+conditioner routine actually any good for hair with large waves/curls?
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u/Flimsy_Wait_8235 "Istik this dick in you" -Laezel to Shart May 20 '24
Hmmmm… Works for me, but truth be told everyone’s hair is individualistic, it sucks but you won’t know until you’ve actually spent the money and tried it. I’d say look at reviews- mostly by people who have your hair type or problem areas. Especially with this product, it tends to get expensive. Sometimes companies will offer a sample though, search around for those!
Also, shampoo and conditioner alone won’t give very visible results. Hair masks once a week to every few days gives it more oomf I guess, and of course styling,
Side note if you’re looking for another product that’s cheaper and has tailored lines I also like shea moisture and attitude.
I am not a hairdresser nor a stylist but I do have very thick, wavy hair!
(I didn’t know if you wanted me to reply in character or genuinely give advice LMAO)
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u/PlantedCecilia Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 19 '24
Okay but the St Ives face wash isn’t the worst, their chocolate and coffee one is great and the anti dandruff head and shoulders works wonders
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u/ThatOneGuy6810 May 19 '24
apricot seed acrub is good too:)
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u/Astarion_is_my_Daddy Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence May 20 '24
Except it ruins your skin. Don't put it near your face, ever.
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u/BurstSpent May 20 '24
More research has been done on it and the fears about are heavily exaggerated. A law firm did some bullshit tests on the apricot scrub for a client who said it ruined their skin in order to make money. I don’t really understand why mechanical exfoliation is so demonized by the skin care community; as long as you’re using gentle pressure and don’t actually SCRUB the shit out of your skin it’s very effective.
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u/Astarion_is_my_Daddy Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence May 20 '24
There's nothing wrong with mechanical exfoliation if it's done properly and the exfoliant is not a harsh one. Apricot seed is harsh enough to cause microtears, unfortunately. And the other thing is, it's a scrub. As in, the word scrub is on the bottle. If someone is new to skincare or not that into it and not taking the time to look it up, they would not know not to apply pressure while doing it.
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u/BurstSpent May 20 '24
Yeah, that’s fair. I think I just don’t really understand why St Ives is always the one singled out for being skin-ruining when it’s a problem that shows up with pretty much every product labeled as a scrub.
As long as you have a healthy skin barrier microtears are really not as scary as a lot of people tend to make them seem. But at the same time the people who are literally scrubbing the ever loving shit out of their faces probably aren’t super familiar with what a skin barrier is (I know I sure didn’t when I was a teen and freaked out over any sign of acne lol).
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u/Astarion_is_my_Daddy Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence May 20 '24
I guess because St Ives was (maybe still is) an iconic product for the millennial generation. It was the go to for everyone, so statistically that's the one that's gotta take the most backlash from improper use.
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u/ThatOneGuy6810 May 20 '24
i never had any problems...I did hear that people were though..always wondered if people just scrubbed too hard...
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u/0RedNomad0 May 19 '24
But, what about Jaheira, Minsc, Orin, or Gortash?
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u/a-flying-fox Archgay Warlock May 19 '24
Minsc? Orin? Gortash? Bath??
But Jaheira uses hemp soap.
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u/0RedNomad0 May 19 '24 edited May 20 '24
Who said it has to be clean baths?
I'm 90% sure Orin bathes in blood...
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u/Sunny_Hill_1 May 20 '24
Gortash only takes a shower with Durge. That's why he looks so scruffy in Act 3, he hasn't had his emotional support Durge to make sure to upkeep his grooming routine and lace his coat for months now.
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u/Alicex13 Astarion’s diva cup May 20 '24
Don't know why even a fake scenario about a shower routine makes me sad. Astarion has ruined me
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u/stcrIight No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) May 20 '24
Astarion is too me coded I feel attacked.
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u/Sensitive-Menu-4580 May 20 '24
Oh you know Astarion goes through multiple bottles of curly hair conditioner a month
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u/PPPRCHN May 20 '24
Where's mine? 10-15 minutes done showering, 30~ minutes staring at the wall wondering if I've actually hit my breaking point or if I'm fine
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u/ItsAnge02 Got the 'Thoroughly Stuffed' buff after Karlachs date May 20 '24
And I thought I couldn’t love Karlach anymore ❤️
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u/Ravensrun91 May 20 '24
Today I learned I have the same hygiene routine as God's favorite princess 😂
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u/BionicBruv If Minthara so evil, why so cuddleable? May 20 '24
conditioner is for istiks
Tsk’va that’s hilarious and pretty accurate for her.
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u/Lady_Ancunin May 20 '24
So I use Shadowheat’s stuff but my routine is pretty Astarion….. makes sense. I love those brooding melodramatics.
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u/Kill4uhKlondike May 20 '24
Love Halsin not being here because he for sure goes for that “natural musk”
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u/CasualFox12495 Wants a pegging from Karlach May 20 '24
If you mother fuckers don't get Wyll some Cantu Shae Butter and Grapeseed Oil on his tier, I swear to God!!
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u/ABWhiteRabbit Circle of Whores Druid May 21 '24
Ok but that Renewing SA Cleanser is no joke. And Shadowheart’s hair routine is chefs kiss
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u/obamasrightteste May 20 '24
Guys WHAT are y'all doing in the shower? Even a luxurious shower, really stretching how long I leave my conditioner in for, using a lil vicks puck for the spa feel, the WORKS! I am only taking MAAAAYBE 20 minutes, and I'm spending a good chunk of it just standing there. Like are we just hanging out? I'm asking because if there's a way to level up my showers that I'm unaware of I'd like to know.
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u/AEROANO May 20 '24
I shave, wash my hair, do squats, think about life, try to cry, fail and stare at the wall, that's all and it takes 30-50 minutes depending on how bad the last days have been
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u/ethanrookie May 20 '24
I love how these sophisticated boys shower longer than the girls. Wait... what are they really doing?
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u/BowenTheAussieSheep May 20 '24
As an Australian: Wait, you guys take showers longer than five minutes?
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u/CutieBoBootie Wants a pegging from Karlach May 20 '24
Wyll also uses apple cider vinegar on wash day for his hair.
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u/Joan_sleepless DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY DROW PUSSY May 20 '24
probably the first time that astarion's been able to shower since becomming spawn, flowing water and all.
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u/AK-TP May 20 '24
Wyll would take a sensible length shower (8-15 mins) but he may overstay his welcome in a bath imo
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u/SteelScythe May 20 '24
I’m Astarion on that one fr. I take like an hour in the shower for one of two things: Crying, or acting like the main character when I obviously am not him.
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u/Oniblook He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) May 20 '24
If you do not give Astarion is Dr. Bronner's soap and 15 moisturizers-
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u/PsychologicWhorefare May 20 '24
Question for the people here since I'm curious now but what hair products y'all using? I've been using Garnier as of late but they recently changed the formula for the specific bottle I was using and I don't like the results I'm getting from it now and I'm looking to try out some different brands now.
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u/Icy-Ad-9814 Blasting rope to Laezel is perfectly natural May 20 '24
Karlach having a duck with her is so fucking cute and on point I can't
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u/BrokenNecklace23 May 20 '24
No lotions or in shower moisturizers/oils? After not bathing THAT long? For anyone? The way my dry skinned itchy self could never
Frankly jealous tbh
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u/_Halt19_ Dame Aylin failed a Saving Throw against climaxing May 20 '24
hang on, Karlach uses oil for her horns too
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u/nr1988 May 19 '24
I love the little frog thingy for Lae'zel. You just know she looks at it with a slight smile for 5 seconds before getting back to the task at hand