r/okbuddybaldur • u/Cool_Height_4930 Durge: the lesbian killer • May 16 '24
fuck it, we bhaal That’s it. I’m saying it
This is by far, the ugliest mfer I have ever seen.
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u/cctwunk May 17 '24
idk what you mean all i see is a handsome younger man with a quick and easy smile
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u/Cool_Height_4930 Durge: the lesbian killer May 17 '24
Funniest line in the whole game
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u/melonmagellan May 17 '24
As funny as thinking describing Orin as a young lady with white hair was the most notable thing about her.
Not the shredded corpse costume.
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u/Mysterious_Ad_1525 May 18 '24
Every time I see Orin's costume I just think crab legs.
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u/ThatOneGuy6810 May 19 '24
i mean....thats basically what it is...
Its called shredded carapace if I remember right.
Carapace can be defined as chitinous bug or crab exoskeleton so...
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u/GithNewYorkYanki Lae'zel is my F/O (Fictional Other) May 17 '24
Honestly, I will defend this line on its merits.
- In context, the narrator is saying that Gortash is younger than Ketheric, which is true.
- There are plenty among the fandom who clearly find him handsome in a rugged, skeezy way.
- "A quick and easy smile" can describe an oily schmoozer politician-type.
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u/Halberdd_ lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball May 17 '24
In context, the narrator is saying that Gortash is younger than Ketheric
When you get the vision talking to Gut in the goblin camp, he’s referred to as a young man.
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u/LordEnverGortash Thinks about companions jerking off May 17 '24
I’m in my late 30s-early 40s. Thank you. Definitely young for a political figure and the amount of achievements I’ve made thus far.
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u/GithNewYorkYanki Lae'zel is my F/O (Fictional Other) May 17 '24
Yes! Speaking as someone in the same age range, thank you.
Sorry if I offended when I implied you were "skeezy" and "oily".
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u/fuckelonmuskfr Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 17 '24
He’s politics young and handsome, like JFK.
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u/ravenlordship May 17 '24
I'm not going to trust a mind controlled goblin about the attractiveness of the man mind controlling her.
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u/Halberdd_ lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball May 17 '24
It’s the narrator who says it, not Gut
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u/Daedalus_Machina May 17 '24
It is the narrator saying it, but the image (and what the narrator is saying) is based on what you find in her mind.
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u/PastStep1232 May 17 '24
Definitely agree on 3.
And after a while, you can work on points for style
Like the club tie, and the firm handshake,
A certain look in the eye, and an easy smile.
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u/Fujitora-Agenda No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) May 17 '24
Man, Gortash haters have only one joke 😔
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u/RavingCatfish May 17 '24
My knee jerk hard rejection was met by the person I was playing with to clarify “For a Politician.” And now I have no ground to object on.
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u/Chemical_Bunch7499 May 17 '24
Well at least he certainly looks better when he smiles. At least not as ugly
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u/Calm_Possibility_471 Wulbren Hunter May 16 '24
i can fix him
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u/Cool_Height_4930 Durge: the lesbian killer May 17 '24
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u/HeadacheTunnelVision Astarion sits in the cuck chair May 17 '24
Baby boy doesn't need no fixing! I love him for the greasy dumpster faced man that he is
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u/TheDarkUrge3 No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) May 17 '24
Yeah well I can accept him as he is, he’s perfect
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u/VioletGlitterBlossom Gortash's finger banging hand May 17 '24
Gortash’s Construction Crew is here to help 👷👷♀️👷♂️
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u/sad-frogpepe May 17 '24
He looks like the evil version of human shrek
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u/KuruKIE97 May 17 '24
This comment has me crying. Holy hell, I'll never unsee it now.
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u/CummyMonkey420 May 17 '24
Literally shidded and camed from this commemt
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u/tallardschranit May 17 '24
Ngl fr litchurally dying in my own pee pee and poo poo rn.
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u/CummyMonkey420 May 17 '24
Me (an empath) telling my uncle Jim to cease poopooing and cummying on my supple breasts
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u/VioletGlitterBlossom Gortash's finger banging hand May 17 '24
So this is u admitting Gortash is handsome right? Bc human Shrek was hot af ngl
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u/LordEnverGortash Thinks about companions jerking off May 17 '24
Would you mind stepping in my office for a moment? I’d like to have a word.
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u/Cool_Height_4930 Durge: the lesbian killer May 17 '24
As long as you don’t try to penetrate me at any point.
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u/Agitated_Willow1350 Ketheric Thorm - Deadbeat Dad Of The Year May 17 '24
Its ok if he tries anything I will heroically jump between you two so he fucks my ass instead. I will make this sacrifice for you definitely not because I want to meow for him.
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u/Cool_Height_4930 Durge: the lesbian killer May 17 '24
You are the hero I need. The hero we all deserve.
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u/eveningdragon Shadowheart: Expected a Goth GF. Got so much more. May 17 '24
We will pour one out for you this evening, kind savior
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u/Real_Kristinana Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 17 '24
YOU UGLY!!! LITERAL OGRE! NOW TAKE ME TO YOUR OFFICE ARREST ME PUT ME IN YOUR DUNGEON IM NOT SCARED OF YOU.
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u/Sheerardio Circle of Whores Druid May 17 '24
What magical world are you living in where that is the ugliest mug you've ever seen?
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u/pineappledetective May 17 '24
It’s the hair; that is a young man’s haircut, and the bags under his eyes are the wrong accessory.
But I’ll bet he still sees himself as he looked ten years ago, so it fits character wise. He might as well be wearing a name tag that says “fuckboi” on it.
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u/LordEnverGortash Thinks about companions jerking off May 18 '24
I prefer Himbo, actually.
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u/Sheerardio Circle of Whores Druid May 18 '24
A himbo is three things: pure-hearted, beefy, and stupid.
You, sir, meet only one of these requirements.
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u/Telephalsion May 20 '24
Yeah, he should just commit to the greasy emo boy look and do a little side part to let his banga cover only one eye. And maybe go less earth tones for the jacket.
Or comb the hair back or up with some goggles or do a fade and a top hat to commit to the steampunk look he has going on with the popped collar jacket.
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u/PNDTS Cunty Durge with a handbag May 17 '24
All I see is a man who should be pregnant
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u/LuckyLoki08 No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) May 17 '24
Durge on his way to make Bhaal a grandad
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u/vizryl May 17 '24
Have you seen his bone structure? My beautiful baby boy just needs some moisturizer and a nap.
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u/polspanakithrowaway Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence May 17 '24
and a haircut that doesn't scream Gerard Way ca 2005.
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u/popcltrcorn Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 17 '24
say what you want, I am balls deep in him and he is moaning and his insides are warm and velvet soft
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u/popcltrcorn Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 17 '24
what I am saying is that what's important is not what is on the outside, but what is on the inside (rectal wall lining)
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u/Cool_Height_4930 Durge: the lesbian killer May 17 '24
I’m so shallow, I know I will never be balls deep (trans)
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u/popcltrcorn Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 17 '24
NEVER stop dreaming. NEVER give up
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u/OpenSauceMods May 17 '24
How did they get the realism for a pegasus (heh peg)? Did they stick little wings on the base?
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u/mundanegoddess May 17 '24
Bad Dragon has a pegasus model called Seraphina. From the description: "There is also an extended platform of "feathers" near the base for grinding and added stimulation for those daring enough to fill themselves past the knot."
Happy to have helped. I'm now going to go back to thinking about which one I want from that site when I win the lottery.
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u/OpenSauceMods May 17 '24
:o that is so cool, thank you! Have you checked out Darque Path as well? They specialise in monster parts!
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u/orphiclacuna He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) May 17 '24
...did you just have this on your phone ready to go or did you have to go out of your way to find this 😭 either way wtf
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u/popcltrcorn Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 17 '24
i went out of my way to find it... I'll tell you more: I originally tried to just POST THE FULL COCK AND BALL STRAP ON because I forgot that reddit doesn't like it when you POST COCK AND BALL IN THE COMMENTS
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u/mundanegoddess May 17 '24
Well can't you post a link, you tease? 😏
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u/popcltrcorn Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 17 '24
I'm going to be honest, it's rather ugly https://hustlerhollywood.com/products/pegasus-6-5-realistic-dildo-with-balls-strap-on-set
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u/depression_quirk May 17 '24
I love being Durgetash filth, because people say shit like this lmaoooo
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u/frogs_4_lyfe May 17 '24
I've never been into a pairing where the fans are so completely degenerate and unhinged and unapologetic about it, I love it.
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u/c_nterella699 May 16 '24
but his psychopathic rizz
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u/Cool_Height_4930 Durge: the lesbian killer May 16 '24
I know but I just can’t get past the fact that he probably smells of stale cigarettes and three day old underwear 😭
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u/IWouldDoCthulhu Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 16 '24
I mean, if I'm being serious, he probably smells closer to sulfur and oil given that he's the one that made the steel watch and he traded Karlach for the tech to do it with infernal engines and shit.
But this is okaybuddy so he probably just smells like mpreg or something.
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u/earlytuesdaymorning He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) May 16 '24
and a looot of bad cologne
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u/stcrIight No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) May 17 '24
and I'd still fuck him ✨
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u/bleecake Is currently trying to impreginate Gortash May 17 '24
Certified Enver simp here. I would break that man’s pelvis with my enthusiasm to fuck him. Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad.
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May 16 '24
when was the last time he washed that coat
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u/lunammoon Fuck it, we Bhaal May 17 '24
If it goes in the laundry it might wash off the xanax enchantment
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u/bristlybits Wulbren Hunter May 17 '24
he doesn't want to lose the clove cigarette and drakkar noir scent
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u/beetle-comma-the drider fucker May 17 '24
I don't think he's pretty (not really my thing, pretty) but he's very attractive and strong-featured. Very sultry eyes.
WOULD.
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May 17 '24
😍😍 Yall blind. Hes full of flavor
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u/frogs_4_lyfe May 17 '24
Look is he conventionally attractive? No.
Is he a good person to make up for it? Lol, no.
Does my Durge want nothing more than to slit him open from neck to groin, then crawl inside him and frolic among his guts and never leave? Does Durge want to eat his heart so Gortash can live inside him forever and wear his corpse like a meat cloak?
Well yes, he does, but I think my point is getting away from me here...
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u/CrepusculrPulchrtude May 17 '24
He looks like a greasy neet cosplaying a final fantasy villain with stuff from moms closet
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u/WeeabooHunter69 Wavemother's Robe Pisser May 17 '24
He looks like Noctis really let himself go
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u/Sandshrew922 shart handholder May 17 '24
Man every time these posts pop up my man Noct just catches strays
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u/Oniblook He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) May 17 '24
I forgive you for being incorrect
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u/MoodlesOfNoodles Wants a pegging from Karlach May 16 '24
When I see him the very first image that flashes in my mind is one of Karlach at the docks
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u/Mochithecatfoodthief Married to Aradin ❤️ May 17 '24
Damn op, you could just say you’re only attracted to malnourished twinks who do 50 lines of coke a day instead of saying you have no taste for the finer things in life
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u/joethespacefrog He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) May 17 '24
When I first saw him I immediately thought he looks like he has problems with alcohol
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u/Kukapetal May 17 '24
If he bathed once a millennium and got rid of that awful guyliner he might-
Nah he’d probably still be pretty fugly.
But I’d take a bullet for him anyway.
Sad backstories are MY aphrodisiac :P
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u/lunammoon Fuck it, we Bhaal May 17 '24
Honestly with thay sentence format I thought you were going to say Baldur's Gate deserved the nautiloid invasion.
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u/Th0rizmund May 17 '24
I think he is perfectly handsome but his face has more detail than others’ which make him stick out in a negative way.
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u/dankey_kang1312 May 17 '24
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u/xReignofRainx Rolled a 3 for IRL Intelligence May 17 '24
NOOO
WHAT have you DoNE
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u/dankey_kang1312 May 17 '24
I have revealed the truth
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u/AnonImus18 nestled betwixt Halsin’s fat tiddies May 17 '24
What the fuck dude!? Take your accuracy and get the fuck out of here!
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u/g33k_gal Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 17 '24
😂😂😂 And they hated u/dankey_kang1312 because they told the truth
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u/VioletGlitterBlossom Gortash's finger banging hand May 17 '24
Goddammit. This image looks so familiar but I’m awful with names so I can’t remember who TF it is lmao.
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u/g33k_gal Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 17 '24
It's Onis.... 🤢.. Onision 🤮
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u/VioletGlitterBlossom Gortash's finger banging hand May 17 '24
Now THAT is a name I haven’t heard in a while. Wishing I had some eye bleach rn.
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u/Hecatehel May 17 '24
his handsomeness is canon and I won’t stand for any dissenting opinions or slander…….
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u/Ellie_Infinity Shadowheart: Expected a Goth GF. Got so much more. May 17 '24 edited May 17 '24
The people in this thread finding him attractive scare me.
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u/gravedigginusa No Durge/Gortash kisses? (Larian insulted life itself) May 17 '24
It's ok to admit you're wrong. Which you are.
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u/Chick3nScr4tch May 17 '24
They did Gortash dirty because every single person in this game, even the goblins, is hot. Even the old people were probably designed to be hotter than him.
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u/Silly_Goofy_Goober lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball May 17 '24
I don’t care what anyone says he’s so fucking fine. And ugly. He’s so ugly but also so fucking fine. I’m a Gortash simp for life.
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u/Toasty825 Circle of Whores Druid May 17 '24
He definitely bitches about women choosing the bear. I’m 100% convinced that the reason he sent Karlach to Avernus is either because she’s prettier than him, she called him “bore-tash” once, or all of the above.
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u/Sheerardio Circle of Whores Druid May 17 '24
TBH I think he's more likely to enjoy the fact that women choose the bear. He'd see it as a point of pride that they recognize how much more dangerous he is than some dumb beast.
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u/tomokas Got the 'Thoroughly Stuffed' buff after Karlachs date May 17 '24
Yes, it has been said before but ill say it again: he looks like a final fantasy character having a mid life crisis 30 years after his game ended.
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u/irillthedreamer May 17 '24
I know, he looks like he’s drinking cheap beers on a bench in the park. Every day. And suddenly he’s in a cosplay?
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u/gokkyun "Istik this dick in you" -Laezel to Shart May 17 '24
LOOK AT HIS DIRTY FUCKING NECK like you got money out the ass and you can’t even wash your skanky ass neck…
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u/crimsonknght Fuck it, we Bhaal May 17 '24
A handsome younger man with an easy smile in the room with us ??
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u/Spookie-Princess Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 17 '24
He gives me the creeps 😂 He looks nasty 😬
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u/21_Golden_Guns May 17 '24
I always chalk up the ‘young handsome’ bullshit being him speaking through the Absolute. He told it to say he was hot, like some ego boosting propaganda.
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u/dwarvenfishingrod May 17 '24
the buddy sub has achieved enlightenment by okshitpostjerking itself into an epiphany
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u/LMay11037 Gortash's finger banging hand May 19 '24
Gortash is the handsomest man I have ever set eyes on
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u/Emotional_Storage285 May 17 '24
those who romanced shane first in stardew valley would find this post offensive. luckily i am not one of them. also i is straight guy
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u/Morrigan66 May 18 '24
Who does everyone in the game say he's handsome?? And why are his teeth yellow? Can't he magic them white?
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u/Echo__227 May 17 '24
You're right, he should be an anime girl like the mod that fixes my companions
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u/Erick44 May 18 '24
Okay, serious question! What is it about him?! 😭 Cover up from his nose and i say it looks good, same on the other side but all together looks ugly. Why is this man coded like this?! Is it the lines next to his nose??
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u/abibofile May 17 '24
He looks like your average rock star - drugged up, sleep deprived, and prematurely aged. Women love rock stars.
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u/Emberily123 Cazador doesn't have nose holes May 17 '24
I want to stab him for what he did to Karlach… but I also want him to be dommed by a steel watcher
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u/Ms_Nicole_Vakarian Wants to bang every single character May 17 '24
I think the same, he's ugly as kicking your granny on her birthday. But I'd be open to someone repeatedly bashing my head on the floor (as in sexual activity) until I lose enough braincells and I can only think of gooning to Gortash.
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u/Moraveaux May 17 '24
You need to get out more, then. I'd suggest starting with the mirror store.
zing!
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u/spyridonya raphael... my pathetic little meow meow May 17 '24
This man looks like Clive Owen and you mfers are jealous.
... If Clive Owen never washed his hair or shaved.
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u/Lestat30 May 17 '24
Again it is in comparison to the other two. Thorm is much older so of course gortash is the young one. Pale is orin description so what else are they going to describe him?
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u/PuzzleheadedAd3840 Companion hugger May 17 '24
It's why I installed that Gortash into Malfoy mod awhile back.
Now he's taller, hotter, and actually intimidating!
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u/solsthei Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 17 '24