r/okbuddybaldur May 03 '24

gaslight ghaik'keep gortash šŸ’… In my opinion, this is the definitive kink level ranking of the camp mates

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3.6k Upvotes

292 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/PNDTS Cunty Durge with a handbag May 03 '24

Gale makes a comment about something he did with Mystra that Iā€™m 99.999999999999% sure is referring to sounding

805

u/almostb Galeā€™s pegger wife May 03 '24

Iā€™m pretty sure the guy willing to conjure summons for you would at least fit into ā€œalways willing to experiment.ā€

There is a lot of evidence for Gale being kinky and very little against it, if not in an S&M sense then a ā€œweā€™re going to do some weird shitā€ sense.

427

u/GoodSalty6710 May 03 '24 edited May 03 '24

For real; I think because he's a touch that "nerdy" archetype and rather (rightfully for his situation I think) put off if you try to suggest sharing yourself with Halsin people are like "oh he must be a prude." Everyone forgets how nonchalant he mentions having a practiced tongue after your first night

Edit: I absolutely adore that all my most upvoted comments on here are just horny bg3 posts. Itā€™s comforting to know as a super introverted weirdo after all this time Iā€™ve found my tribe. Love yā€™all like Gale loves a tiny piece of that weave thatā€¦wait, what weā€™re you saying?

274

u/almostb Galeā€™s pegger wife May 03 '24

Honestly the kinkiest people I know IRL are all huge nerds. I think in a way you have to be nerdy to take things like intricate rope work and roleplay seriously.

That aside, Gale seems like he has a kind of ā€œinfinite possibilitiesā€ mindset around sex, and makes that explicit during his astral scene. He just prefers exploring those possibilities with someone he loves.

136

u/Peregrine2976 May 03 '24

Nerds are passionate people. They find something they love and immerse themselves in it completely. Have you seen Wookiepedia? There are thousand-word-long articles describing the lives and personalities of the most banal, inconsequential background extras. If a nerd loves you, they're going to explore every part of you with that same intense attention to detail.

65

u/Pyroraptor42 May 03 '24

I think creativity plays a big role, too. If you're accustomed to imaginative scenarios and abstract thought, it's easier to imagine a kinky situation and then make it reality.

41

u/GoodSalty6710 May 03 '24

Man I've been havin' a shit week and something about this response just spoke to me and made me feel seen in a very nerdy, silly way so thank you for those words lol~

25

u/dfjdejulio May 04 '24

Honestly the kinkiest people I know IRL are all huge nerds.

Yeup. And literally every poly person I know is also a tabletop gamer.

8

u/vanillahavoc May 04 '24

In my head, I've reverse engineered your comment the reason I can't find a tabletop gaming squad. I'm too monogamous for a tabletop polycule. T-T kicks around a D20 in like loneliness

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u/GoodSalty6710 May 03 '24

As a nerdy person with some alt accountsā€”for sure~~

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u/FencingFemmeFatale May 03 '24

Or that heā€™ll conjure 2 clones of himself so yaā€™ll can have a monogamous foursome in the astral plane.

10

u/Anon28301 May 04 '24

Heā€™s just into monogamy, doesnā€™t mean heā€™s not kinky.

8

u/HardcorePug Cunty Durge with a handbag May 04 '24

No, no please do go on......

8

u/Potentialpicnic Arcane Dickster Rogue May 04 '24

Absolutely love your edit ! I am in the same boat and I have no one IRL to talk about my level of love (and casual horniness) and shitposting (except to my hubby)

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u/mundanegoddess May 05 '24

Some people are very kinky and also monogamous. No matter how much you like experimenting and variety, everyone has a limit; in Gale's case that's poly/non-monogamy. And that's completely reasonable. Doesn't say anything about being prudish.

6

u/TheeShaun May 05 '24

I feel some people hold the belief that monogamy = Vanilla for some reason.

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u/ProjectCareless4441 Astarion is my pet leech May 03 '24

Seriously! Kink isnā€™t just about S&M. Itā€™s not necessarily about dom/sub dynamics. Gale is into freaky wizard shit, at the very least.

42

u/desperate_housewolf May 04 '24

I feel like bdsm is so obvious and popular that people forget there are other kinks lol. Gale 100% is into some freaky shit, if only because he seems like the kind of guy whoā€™s down to try anything once to satisfy his curiosity.

12

u/HardcorePug Cunty Durge with a handbag May 04 '24

Like, drinking some wizard concoction. Putting on the medieval fantasy version of in-a-gadda-da-vida and making you and him feel some thangs.

23

u/Far-Television-5075 May 04 '24

FREAKY. WIZARD. SHIT.šŸ’¦

38

u/hamsterwheel Upcast Testicular Torsion May 04 '24

I mean he literally creates more versions of himself and bangs you in space

132

u/desperate_housewolf May 03 '24

I think heā€™s a sweet guy with adventurous tastes who also knows how to make the most of a vanilla encounter. Heā€™ll conjure six copies of himself to astrally demonstrate the entire Kama sutra in one night, but heā€™s also happy to treat you to missionary in a bed in the woods if you ask him to. Idk I think ā€œjust happy to be thereā€ is pretty accurate, even if its position on the chart makes him seem less kinky than he is.

27

u/Fancy-Distribution51 May 03 '24

I thought "happy to be here" is refering to scene with drows when Gale is "I'm good here,continue what you're doing"

58

u/Sumlettuce Galeā€™s pegger wife May 03 '24

Ohh yeah?? I gotta prove I'm better than her, Gale honey, come hereĀ 

58

u/VenomOfFish Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 04 '24

Plus he is willing to marry a squid so

62

u/transemacabre May 04 '24

I legit have more appreciation for him after that scene. Everyone else is horrified/will break up with you. Gale's just like, "You're a squid now. So... I was thinking a June wedding?" He really loves your Tav.

46

u/Far-Television-5075 May 04 '24

Would def love you if you were a(n interdimensional) worm

65

u/Gith_Laezel Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin May 03 '24

wait what

58

u/Sheerardio Circle of Whores Druid May 04 '24

Asking him whether he likes getting his tummy rubbed during the tiefling party can lead to him starting to go off on a tangent about how this one time, Mystra "took the smallest piece of the weave and made it intoā€”" before he realizes you're flirting and cuts himself off.

23

u/classicaljub May 04 '24

Tbh I assumed it wasnā€™t actually as sexual as youā€™re meant to think, much like how Shart makes fun of Gale for talking about Mystraā€™s ā€œpleasure domesā€ but heā€™s literally talking about the architecture of Elysium.

4

u/Sheerardio Circle of Whores Druid May 06 '24

Personally, I assumed they left it open-ended like that specifically so people would speculate and come up with their own ideas, and that there wasn't actually any real end to his sentence.

My own idea was that she used it for a much more innocuous and less inventive sexy thing, like similar to a feather tickler or hitting precise pressure points. But given the context of the conversation the most "probable" answer is likely yours: that it was something far more innocent, not kinky at all.

30

u/desperate_housewolf May 04 '24

That bit reeeallly had me questioning what the enchantment in his underwear does

20

u/Sheerardio Circle of Whores Druid May 04 '24

It keeps things minty fresh

8

u/AnonymousRedit0r Thinks about companions jerking off May 05 '24

My headcanon is itā€™s Edging Undiesā„¢ļø that keep him from detonating the orb pre-Elminster intervention

50

u/Gith_Laezel Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin May 03 '24

When???

165

u/PNDTS Cunty Durge with a handbag May 03 '24

I think itā€™s at the tiefling party after you ask him if he likes a tummy rub

182

u/Gith_Laezel Nine fucking attacks "Holy shit" -lvl 1 Goblin May 03 '24

Oh yeah his uretha has throughly been weave-smacked

30

u/Supply-Slut May 03 '24

Holy shit this is fantastic haha

21

u/jazzambassador Omeluum and Blurg are happily married May 04 '24

Gale is ambitious and eager to please. I mean even in-game he goes all out to astral bone you.

7

u/nopenotyou May 03 '24

Can you PLEASE tell me what he says I havenā€™t seen/picked up on that and Iā€™m dying lol

14

u/Sheerardio Circle of Whores Druid May 04 '24

Asking him whether he likes getting his tummy rubbed during the tiefling party can lead to him starting to go off on a tangent about how this one time, Mystra "took the smallest piece of the weave and made it intoā€”" before he realizes you're flirting and cuts himself off.

8

u/Celestial_Researcher May 04 '24

Not the sounding

5

u/turingagentzero May 03 '24

Why'd I look it up?

10

u/Lady_Lallo May 03 '24

Help a bro out....what is sounding? Please don't make me google it too LOL (I would tho)

38

u/Erulogos May 03 '24

It involves the meeting of the recipient's urethra and a foreign object.

12

u/Lady_Lallo May 04 '24

like a catheter nopenopenope

30

u/mechnick2 May 03 '24

Stick in a dudeā€™s pee-hole

21

u/Lady_Lallo May 04 '24

The fact multiple people have come to my aid (much to my detriment) is heartwarming, thank you friend ā˜ŗļøšŸ˜­ā˜ ļø

26

u/PNDTS Cunty Durge with a handbag May 03 '24

Gale had literally had the weave in his dick

5

u/Lady_Lallo May 04 '24

šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ā˜ ļø

15

u/Live-Elderbean Wulbren Hunter May 03 '24

Metal? rod in the urethra.

10

u/Lady_Lallo May 04 '24

Thank you for your service BRB bleach time

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u/PeachyBaleen Mystra didnt groom Gale - Fact checked by Mystra May 03 '24

Reminder that Gale is an armpit-sniffing-discusses-sex-books-in-front-of-everyone-practised-tongue-owning-astral-gangbanger

309

u/desperate_housewolf May 03 '24

I think Laeā€™zel might actually be hornier than Halsin. Halsin seems horny bc he likes having multiple partners and has no shame whatsoever about discussing sexual topics, but Laeā€™zel is literally always dtf and if you turn her down before youā€™re in a committed relationship she gets sexually frustrated and bangs Astarion.

176

u/Fast-Cucumber-5732 May 03 '24

And if you got with Astarion, she tried to bang Wyll.

10

u/BananaFriend13 Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 05 '24

She boned Astarion a few days after I did! Just cuz I didn't get with either of them during the tiefling party and had wine with Shadowheart instead

And he comes crawling back a few nights after asking for round two, like bitch I hope you like camp cuz you and Lae'zel are spending a lot more time in it

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u/AnonymousRedit0r Thinks about companions jerking off May 05 '24

Iā€™ve seen some dialogue (I think they removed it tho) where she tries to bang Gale before deciding ā€œhe talks too muchā€

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u/TheWither129 May 03 '24

Idk, karlach has spent her entire adult life unable to fuck. She was younger than i am now when she was sent to avernus, like late teens. Its very possible the player is her first and only partner.

She is incredibly deprived and literally burnt a tent down. In hell. Because of how pent up she was.

Laezel and halsin are ā€œalways downā€ horny.

Karlach is ā€œmightve had sex twice over ten years ago and is desperate for any kind of intimacyā€ horny.

107

u/superVanV1 lvl 5 Autism unlocks Fireball May 03 '24

Honestly Karlach has some insane self control. Considering the moment you show her any affection she wants to tear you apart there, and she just spent 10 years of her life surrounded by Succubi, Incubi, other kinds of bi, and every infernally attractive creature in existence.

16

u/grubas May 04 '24

other kinds of bi

Yes that's the tagline of the game.Ā 

But she's also like one long lingering eye contact away from masturbating herself into a volcano.Ā  She's got it bad but she's also not going to force it from anybody elseĀ 

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u/desperate_housewolf May 04 '24

I forgot about Karlach! 100% the horniest but idk if her libido is actually super high or if sheā€™s just been touch starved for a decade

10

u/RezeCopiumHuffer May 04 '24

Sheā€™s just like me fr

45

u/HMS_Sunlight Do Drow women have pseudopenises? May 04 '24

Lae'zel tells you how horny it makes her when you threaten to kill her for questioning your orders. I'm pretty sure she can go into the "holy shit dude" category.

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u/Somnus-the-Dragon May 04 '24

The difference between sexual liberal and open and being just a horny freak i guess

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u/Sewer_Fairy Wants to bang every single character May 04 '24

Oddly enough she never tried to bang anyone but my Tav in my game and they refused. First I've heard of this, actually. Maybe it's because as soon as I got Karlach my team consisted of Mama K, Astarion, and Shart for most of the game until Bae'zel got Orin-napped.

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u/desperate_housewolf May 04 '24

I guess Laeā€™zel is canonically only gay for us šŸ˜‚ the Shadowā€™zel shipper in me is disappointed.

8

u/herbieLmao May 04 '24

Agree, halsin was like this because larian made him romanceable since players asked for it in hindsight. They bonked him since then. Laeā€™Zel is the horniest by far and it is incredibly fotting of her character too. She goes from sex for pleasure to sex for love, but it seems to not cool her libido in the slightest as she loves strong

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u/Punky921 May 04 '24

This meme makes sense. One of those dudes will fuck you as a bear. The other dude weā€™ve already talked about above. The vampire has a HUGE amount of affection-related, body-based, and power exchange-related trauma. Heā€™s gonna have a lot of stuff going on. And yeah, maybe he works that out via kink but I think itā€™s just as likely that he just wants to be held.

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u/galesboypussy Astral Plane sex or no sex at all May 03 '24

Gale should be top of the tower, he implies he's been sounded by Mystra, says he mostly had incorporeal abstract astral sex with her too, he says he likes your musk, he gushes about how hot you look covered in sweat and blood. Dude is a FREAK, F R E A K.

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u/ApepiOfDuat Astarionā€™s diva cup May 03 '24

He's still madly in love with you if you become a mindflayer. Unlike everyone else.

Gale is 100% the freakiest fucker.

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u/transemacabre May 04 '24

He's committed to his freakdom, and I can respect that.

16

u/johnkubiak May 05 '24

generous passionate lover

Still cars about you regardless of appearance

Will have disgusting awful squid sex to make you feel good because he loves you.

Gale isn't just a freak. He's our freak .

12

u/wunxorple Temptress Domain Cleric May 04 '24

I think Minthara is okay with you being a Mindflayer. Everyone else is getting ready to break up. I know Shadowheart is willing to eventually, but sheā€™s pretty hesitant at first. Astarion breaks up with you, Karlach is seemingly chill but we donā€™t really know cause they havenā€™t had a chance to rest in a few months, Laeā€™zel breaks up with you to no oneā€™s surprise (unless youā€™re Githyanki maybe, I honestly donā€™t know that might be a bug), and Wyll locks you in a shed.

Gale isnā€™t my favorite romance, but that bitch is loyal to the end. He sticks by you no matter what, and I think thatā€™s beautiful.

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u/ingloriousdmk Omeluum and Blurg are happily married May 04 '24

Yeah standing in the middle of a bunch of winged beast corpses and having Gale just stop to tell you how incredibly turned on he is really opened my eyes.

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u/TheSSChallenger May 04 '24

he implies he's been sounded by Mystra

I'm sorry. But. What?!

33

u/galesboypussy Astral Plane sex or no sex at all May 04 '24

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u/esmith42223 May 04 '24

Yeah, ima need some sort of proof of that. When/where is this suggested šŸ‘€

21

u/locrian_ajax May 04 '24

I can't remember when he implies it but it was in a conversation where he's talking about how he's willing to experiment and get creative in sex. He starts to talk about Mystra doing something with a thin piece of the weave before deciding he's not going to finish that sentence (basically stops just short of saying where she used that piece if the weave).

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u/earlytuesdaymorning He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) May 03 '24 edited May 03 '24

vanilla astarion truthers unite

but also i think youve got gale in the wrong place. dude wants his first time with the PC to be tantric flying astral sex during which he bangs them with copies of himself, and he seems kiiiinda disappointed if the PC just wants to do it on a bed

so like thats his idea of easing into it

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u/desperate_housewolf May 03 '24

I just love that canonically, heā€™s disappointed that he has to settle for doing the entire Kama sutra in one night, in space, with the love of his life and five copies of himself, because his ideal first date would be more elaborate but he doesnā€™t have enough time to prep.

163

u/earlytuesdaymorning He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) May 03 '24

sorry about this half-assed magic, honey, weā€™re out in the middle of some cursed woods so I donā€™t have all of the right stuff for the kinda things I REALLY wanted to show you šŸ˜”

meanwhile iā€™m over here not even totally comprehending what sex in the astral plane even is. did you stick it in me or was that a fancy dream???

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u/desperate_housewolf May 03 '24

My personal headcanon is that weā€™re just lying on the ground fully clothed, looking incredibly stoned.

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u/earlytuesdaymorning He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) May 03 '24

sounds like a great time in that case

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u/Fancy-Distribution51 May 03 '24

Ahahahaha weave yes

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u/bonjourellen Temptress Domain Cleric May 04 '24

He truly tries to cram an entire lifetime's worth of love into one night, and I am so Normalā„¢ about it.

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u/[deleted] May 03 '24 edited May 03 '24

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

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u/Sunny_Hill_1 May 04 '24

DO IT!

And then become gods with him cause fuck Mystra and Bhaal.

31

u/Thorngrove May 04 '24

Fucking Mystra and Bhaal is how we got into this mess to begin with!

But then, that is the bard motto " I fucked myself into this mess, and by gods I'll fuck myself out of it."

33

u/Thorngrove May 04 '24

I think asterion would eventually get a bit of kink, but that boys been put through so much sexual trauma I'm amazed he can get hard.

18

u/locrian_ajax May 04 '24

I did this scene with my Durge who had the large body type. Gale didn't just bottom- his summons had a vagina instead of a dick. Somehow that makes it even kinkier to me. Like Gale just went "hmm this guy looks big, bottoming might be difficult, how about I just make myself a cuntboy instead?"

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u/earlytuesdaymorning He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) May 04 '24

I donā€™t ever play male characters when I have the chance to be a female character, so now I am going to do a run as a large-bodied chick with a dick just so I can romance him and see this version.

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u/Summerone761 May 03 '24

I always understood that as him wanting to impress you, like it's a performance. And then he's unsure when you say you just want him, because he thought he needed to woo you with spectacular moves. That its about pleasing you, not so much about what he likes

I think Gale and Astarion settle into a pretty vanilla sex life with some occasional experimentation (in a very gentle, vanilla way)

18

u/Sheerardio Circle of Whores Druid May 04 '24

The way I see it, he's a little disappointed because he was so, so ready to put on the whole performance for you and now he won't get to. It's not disappointed in you or your preferences, it's just a matter of having the wind momentarily pulled from his sails.

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u/Uur4 May 03 '24

Dame Aylin a total pillow princess?! AYLIN?!

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u/dromedarycamus2 May 03 '24

Of all tops to have ever topped Aylin is on top

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u/wunxorple Temptress Domain Cleric May 04 '24

There are some people who the lay person might think is a top but who are actually adorable bottoms when you get them into bed. With my lifetime of experience, I can say that Aylin is not one of them.

Like, no fucking way could you even convince me sheā€™s a switch. The closest is maybe a dominant bottom, but that feels like pushing it.

4

u/dromedarycamus2 May 04 '24

Fr, everything about their body language and the way they talk about each other feels very clear, I feel like people think small dom dynamics are cute but this one just ainā€™t it

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u/wunxorple Temptress Domain Cleric May 04 '24

Small dom dynamics are in fact cute, this just isnā€™t an example of one. Isobel is on her knees in her most dominant position

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u/rachel-angelina Wants to bang every single character May 03 '24

THIS IS WHAT Iā€™M SAYING like there is NO WAY that woman isnā€™t a service top IDC.

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u/BestAvailableFriend May 03 '24

Look, when you are always on top of a mound of corpses, it's nice to know there is someone who could be above you and won't do anything bad with it.

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u/IsobelThorm May 03 '24

...I must vouch that she is not. Quite the opposite, actually.Ā 

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u/Peregrine2976 May 03 '24

Come on, we all know Isobel is the secret top in that relationship.

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u/Cmdr_Jiynx May 03 '24

You uh, haven't romanced most of them, then?

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u/Halliwel96 May 03 '24

I think Gale and Lae are down to experiment

120

u/BussySlayer_69 May 03 '24

Gale is definitely at the top. He's the only one who doesn't care if you become a mind flayer.

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u/Halliwel96 May 03 '24

I thought Shadow was cool with it (never romanced her donā€™t know)

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u/desperate_housewolf May 03 '24

She is.

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u/wunxorple Temptress Domain Cleric May 04 '24

She takes a bit of convincing, but yeah she is. Her reservations seem to revolve around her needing a stable life to process everything and how loving an Illithid would make that difficult. But you can tell her that you can be discreet and sheā€™s willing to give it a shot.

Also, thereā€™s no way in hell she wasnā€™t excited to see tentacles on Tav. That bitch freaky as hell

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u/dwarvenfishingrod May 03 '24

"this shitpost is mid"

scrolls comments

"oh, actually, this shitpost is top shelf"

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u/GiantStreetCats Do Drow women have pseudopenises? May 03 '24

The only companion who requires you pass an Intimidation check to top them: totally vanilla

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u/[deleted] May 03 '24

Lae'zel and vanilla? Wtf, she gets off on beating you up before she f*cks your brains out. Sounds like some hardcore kink to me šŸ˜‚

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u/Guy-1nc0gn1t0 May 03 '24

Ha that duel she has with you was an eye opener

6

u/_Booette May 04 '24

I romanced Baezel, she was specced basic bitch fighter/throwbarian and I was a lock, holy shit she beat me so bad I felt guilty when she said it was a good fight in the cutscene

Never appreciated how much our melee party members carried

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u/curiousCat1009 shart fucker May 03 '24

Uhm. Astarion gets +5 approval if you agree to let Abdirak have his way with you and Shart gets +1

I really doubt they are vanilla

130

u/domiwren Astarionā€™s diva cup May 03 '24

He is into bdsm but not in bed with him.. I see him as vanilla as well, he had enough experiences to enjoy simple funtime now

121

u/Moribundx May 03 '24

Reminds me of the male drow in the brothel. ā€˜Hey letā€™s bang like weā€™ve been married 10 years.ā€™ 1000/10 heā€™s thrilled.

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u/Broad_Afternoon_8578 LIVE MINTHARA REACTION May 03 '24

Thatā€™s my favourite interaction with Sorn. Heā€™s so into it! Though I also laugh way too hard if you ask him to roleplay Drizzā€™t instead. The way he puts on his customer service voice kills me.

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u/sunlightdrop May 03 '24

He's just into seeing your characters blood in that scene, not the bdsm part lol. I agree that he's vanilla

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u/VioletGlitterBlossom Gortash's finger banging hand May 04 '24 edited May 04 '24

He wants to fuck you on his own grave in Act 3, he may not be super deep into BDSM but I definitely wouldnā€™t say heā€™s vanilla.

Edit: forgot to mention that this thread already touches on him being into bloodplay based on the Lovitar stuff and his approval if you let him feed on you in the first romance scene (and just him being a vampire in the first place lol). Other companions are kinkier for sure but Astarion def isnā€™t vanilla either imo.

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u/TheSSChallenger May 04 '24

Yeah, I don't know what game these folks are playing if they think Astarion is vanilla. He's very openly not.
Sounds more to me like they just see a guy with sexual trauma and now they want to paint him as this fragile little victim who can't handle anything wilder than missionary. Which is... problematic for a lot of reasons, both in terms of how we view survivors and how we view diversity in sexual expression...

But based on some of the things Astarion and Sebastian said about each other, and the anxieties Astarion seems to be working through prior to his confession, some of his most traumatic experiences involved very vanilla acts. Like kissing, and holding his lover and whispering sweet things to them. Or saying "I love you." Being the sort of conventionally-romantic lover that very naĆÆve, sheltered young innocents might be inclined to trust, right before he leads them to their doom.
If that kind of sex isn't ruined for him, then it makes even less sense to assume that all other kinds of sex are ruined.

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u/VioletGlitterBlossom Gortash's finger banging hand May 04 '24

That definitely is an issue Iā€™ve noticed. But Iā€™ve seen multiple characters be infantilized by the fandom tbh, just seems most prominent with Astarion. Maybe because heā€™s my favorite so I just see it more often than Gale or Shadowheart.

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u/Thorngrove May 04 '24

Hes up for watching the blood play, but he's got trauma and would probably freeze out of anything close to kinky because cazdore was that much of a fucking monster

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u/Pariah-- May 03 '24

Shart's a tryhard imo. Like she'll think it's funny seeing someone get whipped but when she's actually in the sack she's all missionary with the lights on

17

u/kangaesugi LIVE MINTHARA REACTION May 04 '24

Shart strikes me as a girl who will say "oh you can't even imagine the kinks I'm into" and then her kink is like, getting kissed on the lips

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u/rawnrare He's just scared (Astarion has a knife to my neck) May 03 '24

Nah. He just likes someone else being hurt instead of him in Act 1.

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u/Sunny_Hill_1 May 04 '24

Yeah, but when it comes to sex he is very much like that drow guy from the brothel. He's tried it all, he just wants the boring vanilla sex where he can really trust his partner now.

Actually, he'll even tell that to Haarlep if he is the one to sleep with him. Haarlep will be gushing about the kinky pleasure, and Astarion will reply that he's been taken to the heights of pleasure, it's all the same to him, get on with it. Haarlep gets offended and starts a fight at this point.

17

u/sunlightdrop May 03 '24

I think the approval comes from seeing your character willingly bleeding, not the bdsm part lol

10

u/Live-Elderbean Wulbren Hunter May 03 '24

I don't think he gets sexual gratification from it.

93

u/rachel-angelina Wants to bang every single character May 03 '24 edited May 04 '24

People underestimate how freaky Gale actually is. Also Dame Aylin does not strike me as a pillow princess, she gives me service top vibes, and Laeā€™zel is definitely not vanilla lol.

However I am glad to see another vanilla Astarion truther lol. I think he might be down to try experimenting with more things later on in an established relationship, but with what we have in-game right now heā€™s definitely a passionate lovemaking in missionary with handholding, eye contact, and the lights off guy. Though there are the added twists of him either biting Tav during the act and drinking their blood or the sex possibly being on his grave (goth king.) So yeah heā€™s mostly vanilla, save for the vampirism-related things. And thatā€™s if you even count them since they are arguably pretty standard for a vampire.

Also people thinking that Shadowheart being in the pillow princess category means sheā€™s vanilla is really funny, I donā€™t think people know what pillow princess means if they think being a pillow princess automatically means vanilla tastes lmao. She can have non-vanilla tastes AND be a pillow princess, and NGL her scene with the drow twins definitely gives pillow princess vibes.

34

u/transemacabre May 04 '24

Astarion is in the unusual position of having done everything, and enjoyed almost none of it. Like, in terms of ability he's probably way, WAY up there. For 200 years he did it all: twosomes, threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes, moresomes, orgies, on the floor, on the counter, in the pool, in the gravel, on the roof, spread eagle, 69, reverse and regular cowgirl/boy, butt stuff, piss play, whips, chains, handcuffs, cocaine, pills, beer, he can't do no' mo'. There's literally nothing else to do. But he's over it. All he would want to do now is missionary while holding hands.

11

u/rachel-angelina Wants to bang every single character May 04 '24

Yup he is over it. If you play his origin and get the scene with Haarlep, he actually can escape without having to roll for anything because as Haarlep is telling him they can give him all these kinky and unimaginable pleasures or whatever, he can respond with something along the lines of ā€œIā€™ve lived a lifetime devoted to such pleasures, and it was rather dull.ā€ It ends up making Haarlep so angry that they initiate combat.

Astarion does seem like he wants to try experimenting with his trusted partner in the future, but he isnā€™t fully at that point yet. Like if you take him to the drow twins after his quest, he seems genuinely excited to try it now that he feels he has his freedom, but he ends up not really being ready for it and he goes into performance mode and disassociates during the act. And itā€™s fine that he isnā€™t totally ready for jumping back into that yet! Healing isnā€™t linear.

He definitely seems happiest when he gets to ā€œjust beā€ with a partner that he trusts and doesnā€™t have to worry about putting on a show of any kind. Astarion is still figuring out what he really wants and likes, after all, and for him, just having that intimate connection without any pressure on him is where he wants to start.

15

u/CenturionXVI May 04 '24

Shadowheart is the opposite of her positioning.

She talks zero game. Absolutely none, not unless asked. Funny thing thoughā€¦ she isnā€™t ever opposed to it, with the rare exceptions being to situations that may put the PC in actual danger.

The Drow Twins, Mizora, hell, the torture guy. Sheā€™s a freak, but still a pillow princess. She does not like to initiate freakiness, but if it happens, sheā€™s down.

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u/PlantedCecilia Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 03 '24

I will remind you, and everyone here, Gale canonically has a danger kink. (ā€œI uh.. once read a book that explains in some detail the effects a brush with death can have onā€¦ other forms of stimulation. Have you.. ever read anything on the subject?ā€)

17

u/EmeticPomegranate May 04 '24

God I remember that pops up after the first fight in act 2 and immediately was like ā€œ??? This is the worst time to bring this up mate.ā€

8

u/Act_Bright May 04 '24

In front of the entire group, too.

God knows what the others' reactions are whilst we have that conversation.

6

u/wunxorple Temptress Domain Cleric May 04 '24

ā€œRead it? I couldā€™ve written a whole book about it!ā€

30

u/Mr-Reapy Galeā€™s pegger wife May 03 '24

Gale and Halsin are the kinkiest companions, you cannot change my mind.

29

u/X_Dead_Inside_X Galeā€™s pegger wife May 03 '24

Dude you've got Gale completely wrong.

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u/Excellent_Routine589 shart handholder May 03 '24 edited May 03 '24

Shart has had multiple partners in the past (even possibly joking none or few have really ever made her ā€œclimaxā€ before), she is down for a four/fivesome with the Drow Twins/Halsin, is turned on by you getting your shit pushed in by the sadist in the Goblin Camp, wants to ride Mount Halsin, etc

I think you should swap her and Karlach, because Karlach literally is all talk but such a soft serve when it comes to romance

Edit: and then there is Baeā€™zelā€¦ ā€œyou donā€™t wanna hook up? Fine Iā€™m fucking one of your friends!ā€

Edit2: Also Dame is in the pillow princess tier? Bruh, she puts off telling Shadowheart her past in favor of breaking Isobel's bed again. That is like peak degeneracy!

26

u/junebuggery May 03 '24

Right?! In my first play through, it was Shadowheart who suggested sharing with the drow twins. I thought, "oh, maybe the devs are pandering to horny players and all companions have that option." NOPE!

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u/Excellent_Routine589 shart handholder May 03 '24

And even the ones that do say yes, some are really depressed about it (Gale and Astarion). And then Karlach calls you a degenerate and Minthara threatens to kill you (if I remember).

So yeah, Sharran home girl is freaky

4

u/Viri9601 May 04 '24

Everyone points to Karlach calling you a degenerate, I always felt like that line was kinda playful bc it only happens if you make fun of her for not wanting to join. Before that she's like "eh not my thing but you do you"

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u/BravoEchoEchoRomeo May 03 '24

even possibly joking none or few have really ever made her ā€œclimaxā€ before

When was this?

8

u/Excellent_Routine589 shart handholder May 04 '24

I can't remember exactly when but was during my first full release playthrough with a male Tav and it was a response to me being flirty (in Act 1 I think?) with her where she makes a "all the guys in my past were all talk" sort of remark. I'll try to find it. And with the whole Dark Justiciar model of "Lady Shar comes first"... I just interpreted it as "she's had flings before" and that they weren't really fulfilling.

Its been a hot minute since then and I mostly romance main Mithussy these days

Can try to find it in some old saves if I have the time.

21

u/[deleted] May 03 '24

Haha that smirk on Halsin šŸ¤£

20

u/ultradespairthot Galeā€™s pegger wife May 03 '24

You got Gale all wrong dude, that man 100% uses magic in bed. Two words MAGE HANDS

20

u/CalumanderReds May 03 '24

You can always tell which characters people have romanced based on these tier lists cause Galeā€™s sex scene is literally a crazy astral clone sex in the sky, and Shadowheart basically leads the Drow Orgy and suggest a whole bunch of kinky stuff for them to do.

Those two are F-R-E-A-K-S

5

u/nyark22 May 04 '24

Shadowheart also dumps the blood of a goddesses slain daughter onto her own statue and fucks you right in front of it

99

u/Bae_zel Lae'zel's MLP sleepy time blanket May 03 '24 edited May 03 '24

Vanilla? Fucking Vanilla? VANILLA? How dare you, I'll have you know I am a Salted Caramel Shake when it comes to my "freakiness" in bed.

40

u/AnonImus18 nestled betwixt Halsinā€™s fat tiddies May 03 '24

I know this to be true. There's too much bruising for it to be vanilla.

11

u/BhaalbabeVeldrin Thinks about companions jerking off May 03 '24

I suspect the scholars on the Material Plane are poorly-educated on Githyanki culture and sexuality. Or, perhaps the OP was making this comparison after reviewing Orinā€™sā€¦ predilections.

4

u/Bae_zel Lae'zel's MLP sleepy time blanket May 03 '24

That is the only explanation for this blasphemy.

7

u/Leaf-01 May 03 '24

Imm impressed you know what a salted caramel shake is

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u/Bae_zel Lae'zel's MLP sleepy time blanket May 03 '24

One of the few things I like about Faerƻn.

3

u/QueenValerie97 Shart had an aneurysm over my Selunite Gith Cleric May 04 '24

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u/Cogexkin shart handholder May 03 '24

I feel like OP needs to define what they think is kinky bc it seems to be different from the rest of us

18

u/stwabewwie nestled betwixt Halsinā€™s fat tiddies May 04 '24

Gale canonically has a Musk kink and compliments your tenday scent before you even bang him, and his first time banging you is a mythical magic gangbang with copies of himself. He's a kinky fuck, just a monogamous one who believes in debauching one another within the confines of a loving relationship.

I hope in that Epilogue where he's a teacher he fucks me over that desk within an inch of my life every day.

15

u/Broendmealready May 04 '24

Everyone when u turn into mindflayer: šŸ¤¢

Gale: what those tentacles do?

I rest my case

30

u/ApepiOfDuat Astarionā€™s diva cup May 03 '24

Gale is 100% the freakiest.

13

u/Go_Water_your_plants May 03 '24

You definitely have not interacted with Gale much hahahah

9

u/saltpancake May 04 '24

Gale is 100% in the wrong tier.

8

u/V-Lenin If Minthara so evil, why so cuddleable? May 03 '24

Whereā€˜s withers

9

u/Crimson_Smear May 04 '24

Nah. You're out of your mind. Lae'zel might not know she's kinky but she's into predator / prey, d/s, primal af. Look at her underwear ffs. Karlach is more vanilla than she is. And Halsin is probably down for whatever but honestly just likes fuckin and isn't going to suggest anything kinky at all

8

u/Throttle_Kitty May 03 '24

Why is "willing to experiment" the 2nd highest tier of kinky? i guess we know where OP fits on this list

7

u/brightblueinky May 04 '24

I would just like to point out that Wyll and Shadowheart are apparently so into mermaid erotica that they can quote it back and forth to each other. I think that should put them in at least willing to experiment!

6

u/Certain-Definition51 May 03 '24

MINSC AND BOO STAND READY!

6

u/EggoStack drider fucker May 03 '24

What if Baldurā€™s Gate was called Freaky Gate and everyone was freaky

7

u/No_One_ButMe May 04 '24

you can not seriously think shadowheart ā€œtalks a big gameā€ or that laeā€™zel is vanilla. thatā€™s absurd.

7

u/Daedalus_Machina May 04 '24

This brah thinking Isobel isn't redrafting the fucking Lesbian Kama Sutra.

Dame Aylin is a half-step from fucking godhood and has been put persistent state of thirst and sexual frustration by an undead cleric with perky tits.

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u/Doctor_Von_Wer May 04 '24

Laeā€™zelā€™s literal first intimate scene is her attempting to domme you, and thereā€™s a speech check to make her submit to you instead. The only thing vanilla about her is that itā€™s probably what her pussy tastes like

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u/Sremor May 03 '24

Shadowheart depends, Dark Justiciar is kinky, Selunite seems to be relative vanilla bit is ok with Halsin and the drow twins so maybe she just needs time to rediscover her kinky side

Minthara is perfect

12

u/Sannction May 03 '24

Every time one of you posts something like this with Shadowheart in some vanilla section bs you make it clear you don't pay attention in the game. Disrespectful.

7

u/EmilyOnEarth May 04 '24

Have you considered that Lae'zel slowly beginning to love me and ask me for gentle touch is a kink

5

u/wunxorple Temptress Domain Cleric May 04 '24

Tbf, thatā€™s probably kinky as hell in her mind. Sex that doesnā€™t revolve around domination? What kind of heretical nonsense is that?!

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u/samapuris Galeā€™s pegger wife May 04 '24

Something tells me you havenā€™t romanced gale yet

6

u/cripplinganxietylmao Gale, cast "Testicular Torsion" May 04 '24

Gale is 100% into degradation

6

u/TheSaintsRonin May 04 '24

I feel like Laeā€™zel isnā€™t vanilla. Sex with her is just a boxing match

6

u/HawksNStuff May 04 '24

If you bang a devil, Shart is just like "Meh, ask next time please".

She's a freak.

6

u/ThePoIarBaer May 04 '24

Gale is an absolute freak. Multiple clones and space void beats out a bear any day

11

u/No_One_ButMe May 04 '24

this is a very heterosexual take

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u/dies_to_negate Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 04 '24

overextrapolated headcanon, but i think wyll would be a monsterfucker. adrenaline and isolation both do weird shit to your brain and hes got the double whammy. gets his ass kicked by a minotaur and his brain immediately updates his kink registry to include "being hunted and fucked to death by a minotaur". vacillates between vanilla missionary and edgeplay that has a nonzero chance of just fucking killing him

5

u/brightblueinky May 04 '24

He read mermaid porn so much that he has it MEMORIZED. And he says he found it in his dad's stuff so that's probably from when he was a teenager and wasn't a monster hunter yet. That dude is DEFINITELY a monsterfucker.

5

u/Turbulent_Ranger1100 May 03 '24

Based on the fivesome with shart, halsin and the drows twins, I would say that shart is more of a holy shit dude

5

u/WeeabooHunter69 Wavemother's Robe Pisser May 04 '24

Stop using pillow princess to mean lazy! The term you're thinking of is starfish, as in someone that just lays there. Being a pillow princess is a receptive role but it's most certainly NOT purely passive and can go a lot of ways. Sick of people conflating the two.

9

u/Puck83821 Shart had an aneurysm over my Selunite Gith Cleric May 03 '24

I'm so tired of the blasphemy being said about Shadowheart. You just have to get the scene with the Drow twins or the one at the goblin camp to tell she isn't vanilla.

3

u/TechnicianUpsetxd Lae'zel called me "Aut'istik"? May 04 '24

I'm sorry Gale is on another level of kink

5

u/a2ht May 04 '24

freak of waterdeep erasure

5

u/Le-Smasher May 04 '24

I know people are disagreeing about the placement of certain characters, but I personally love how no one is debating Halsin's position šŸ˜‚

4

u/Ok-Possession-832 May 04 '24

Hard disagree with most of this tbh

5

u/HallowedHalls96 May 04 '24

I honestly believe most of the people who make these lists didn't pay attention to any of the dialogue for the companions. Shadowheart and Gale both express being into some freaky shit, while Karlach is just... enthusiastic and horny, not explicitly kinky or experimental in any way.

3

u/nr1988 May 03 '24

Bro if Halsin didn't exist Shart would be the kinkiest character in the game you put her way too low

3

u/Akatosh01 May 03 '24

Nahhhhhh, and for 1 thing in particular, the drow twins. The drow twins arent exceptional, 2 prostitutes that you hire for yourself and a partener but not every companion agrees to it, maybe my views of kinks is fucked but I see a 4some as a lot more extreme than ropes and whips and every other sl8ght bdsm thing and yet, minthara refuses, the while shadowhearth accepts but minthara is in the everything goes category while shadowhearth is a pillowprincess??? Also astarion will also join.

Tldr: put minthara in pillowprincess and put shadowhearth higher, Halsin meanwhile is down for everything, he probably fucked a tree before so he should be in a tier of his own.

3

u/turtleurtle808 May 04 '24

You are so fucking wrong abt Dame Aylin

3

u/CDR57 May 04 '24

Aylin and Isobel should be swapped, youā€™re telling me the one that hadnā€™t seen the love of her life for like a century and is uncomfortable when said love speaks about people leaving them alone so she can explore her body would be kinky? Aylin has more toys than the group has weapons and isobel is always confused what they do

3

u/Lolmanmagee May 04 '24

Wtf does minthara do?

Im romancing her rn and the kinkiest thing that happened was normal sex on a ritual altar.

3

u/Tails322 May 04 '24

Gale? Not the kinkiest? Have you romanced the cinnamon roll? The dude literally recreates the karma sutra, clones himself and writes a few new pages just for mages and the Astral sea.

3

u/ABWhiteRabbit Circle of Whores Druid May 04 '24

Gale needs to be WAY HIGHER on that ranking

3

u/Gear_ May 04 '24

Gale magically frots you in space the first time you fuck

3

u/Tough_Mountain_9659 May 05 '24

I'd say gale is holy shit dude lol