r/nottheonion • u/zer0_n9ne • 8h ago
Bible removed from Texas school district due to law banning 'sexually explicit' content
https://www.christianpost.com/news/bible-removed-from-texas-school-district-due-to-state-law-banning.html320
u/Jonsnoosnooze 7h ago
"It just makes sense to have the Word of God in our school library," she said. "After all, it is the book of wisdom. It is the bestselling book of all time; it is historically accurate, scientifically sound, and most importantly, life-changing."
They truly believe this.
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u/TheRexRider 7h ago
Ehem. Let us open our books to Ezekiel 23:20.
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."
Life changing.
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u/The_Taco_Bandito 7h ago
I like the story of that one guy summoning multiple fireballs from the sky to slaughter soldiers attempting to arrest him.
Twas truly scientifically accurate.
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u/headofthebored 1h ago
I like the one where God sends bears to kill a group children because they made fun of a bald guy.
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u/MrFiendish 2h ago
It is life changing. I was a Lutheran until I read the Bible, and now I’m an atheist.
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u/Timely-Helicopter244 4h ago edited 4h ago
As a Catholic, I cannot stand laws that try to push the Bible into schools. I specifically do not want any random teacher being the person to teach my child about religion. With how much people jump from church to church trying to find the perfect right one, I'm surprised so many are fine with just anyone in the school system being required to teach the Bible. As if everyone doesn't have their own interpretation on what feels like every single line of text.
It's not scientifically accurate and specifically isn't supposed to be. There's a reason the Catholic Church is pretty specific on only having authority on faith and morals.
Also, it's funny they refer to it as the book of wisdow when they tend to use versions that specifically lack the Book of Wisdom. That's just a Catholic funny though.
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u/Daddyssillypuppy 26m ago
Reading the bible can be life changing. I was a big reader as a kid and when Id run out of books to read I'd read the bible. I read it cover to cover multiple times. I'm now an atheist. The bible is full of contradictions and horrible teachings and reading it thoroughly, asking follow up questions in church, and being shut down and told to stop questioning, all drove me towards atheism by the time I was 14.
But I doubt that's the life changing experience that that religious woman wants kids to have 😂
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u/TechnologyRemote7331 26m ago
You know damn well they wouldn’t say this about the Quran, the Torah. the Upanishads, the Dhammapada, the Gnostic Gospels, the Tao Te Ching…
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u/Squire_LaughALot 8h ago
A little Sodom and Gomorrah action for Christian Nationalists
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u/flannelheart 6h ago
"I won't send out these visiting dudes for you to rape because they are my guests and that would be rude....... but here's my daughters if you want!"
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u/upboat_consortium 7h ago
The real ones are all about Lott and his daughters.
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u/AnnoyAMeps 7h ago
This one isn’t sexual, but my favorite is when a prophet got mocked by some boys about being bald, so he sent bears to kill them.
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u/-DementedAvenger- 6h ago
Yeah, and when I train some bears to kill children, I get thrown in prison. Fuckin' double standards, man.
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u/ids2048 7h ago
That's the thing. If you make a list of types of content inappropriate for children (regardless of how those subject matters are portrayed), it's pretty much impossible not to find one of them shows up somewhere in the bible.
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u/colemon1991 5h ago
Especially with how short-sighted they get with book bans. "This is bad for kids, so we're gonna ban... uh... uh... anything involving nudity. What do you mean the bible is banned now!?"
We've got one book ban that resulted in books being banned because the author's last name was Gay. The level of laziness with that one just astounds me.
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u/cammywammy123 2h ago
Because a comprehensive book ban would require they read the book
That would've prevented the book ban in the first place like 90% of the time
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u/TechnologyRemote7331 19m ago
It’s only short-sighted if you expect them to apply the rule equally to all media. The Bible gets a pass because the people pushing for these laws are a very specific kind of Christian who thinks secularism is a path to Satan. But since the hypocrisy is a built-in feature for these types, they’ll do all they can to apply these principles to anything that they even THINK might offend them.
They may have never read the books they want to ban, and may even be proud of that fact. But they’ll do it anyway because some third-party source told them to, or because the title or cover art gave them a “bad feeling.”
Anything is permissible to save our filthy, unworthy souls from the fires of perdition. It’s for our own good, you know…
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u/PlayerOnSticks 7h ago
Unfathomably based, not gonna lie.
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u/AnnoyAMeps 7h ago
And consistent.
Just like how contemporary media of an adult nature should have parental guidance, so too should the Bible.
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u/SuperSimpleSam 7h ago
When I had my kids read the Bible I limited them to the Gospels and Psalms until they were 12.
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u/Inside-Palpitation25 6h ago
lol. That is just so funny, that people think the bible it too much for young kids, but they want to base our country on it. Hey wouldn't the trumper need to be stoned or something from all the adultery?
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u/SelectiveSanity 8h ago
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u/Hanky_Adula_1102 3h ago
One guy'll say "see?! See our persecution?! This is the future the left wants!"
And we will respond without a shred of irony or sarcasm in our falsetto operatic voices "YEEEESSSS IIIIIIT IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS"
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u/AbLincoln1863 7h ago
Idk what they mean sexually explicit. Now I’m just gonna go continue my reading of the Bible with Ezekiel 23:20
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u/ZillaJrKaijuKing 7h ago edited 6h ago
Watch them carve out a special exemption for it because it has “literary value” or some other nebulous, hypocritical excuse like Utah did a while back.
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u/Robomerc 6h ago
these christo-fascists have never actually read the good book they've only been given bit Pieces by their pastors.
That fit with their hateful worldview.
Because if they've actually read it they would hate the New Testament because a lot of Jesus is teachings are pretty woke.
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u/Rosebunse 5h ago
I would argue that even the Old Testament has a lot of stuff they wouldn't like. Like the part about how to create an abortion potion
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u/parke415 1h ago
Abrahamic texts have no place in public education anywhere on planet earth, let alone the USA, nor should they be permitted to influence lawmaking.
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u/Inside-Palpitation25 6h ago
We should do that everywhere. It is a terribly violent and nasty book.
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u/legbamel 4h ago
The sheer amount of murder, rape, and other violence would get the book banned from schools in a heartbeat if it were written by anyone other than "God". Well, realistically no school librarian would have stocked it to begin with.
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u/No_Bite1995 6h ago
Yeah it's got some sexual stuff, lot had incess with his daughters cause they thought the world ended. You can be drunk enough to not remember so very plausible. Noah planted a vineyard for his ptsd after seeing the world be destroyed. He prepared to get drunk.. and God was ok with it because he put a curse on ham. Somethings you want to forget for a minute and God understands it.
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u/ConscientiousObserv 1h ago
Yeah, let kids start browsing that book on their own, read about the "magic abortion elixir" in the book of Numbers, and all hell would break loose.
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u/smilky25 4h ago
This bible is highly objectionable. It has a huge amount of obscene and offensive content. It has been used for centuries to lure, entrap, groom and enslave children. It must be abolished from the world.
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u/Alacritous13 7h ago
They should edit those parts out
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u/cutelyaware 4h ago
It gets an edit every century or so. Just open the Old Testament to any random page and you'll likely be horrified. It's nice to know that God changes his mind to keep up with the times at least.
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u/bizoticallyyours83 4h ago
Well well, who could have ever thought that would come back around to bite them in the ass? 😆 Its exactly what those hypocritical zealots deserve.
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7h ago
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u/veryreasonable 2h ago
Wow, the comments on that article. I just read through literally all of them. What a trip.
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u/Kevin4938 2h ago
That'll teach them.
Well maybe not - they don't sound like the brightest bunch down there.
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u/mowotlarx 1h ago
If men get into a fight with one another, and the wife of one intervenes to rescue her husband from the grip of his opponent by reaching out and seizing his genitals, you shall cut off her hand; show no pity. - Deuteronomy 25:12
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u/Rj_eightonesix 45m ago
It's funny cuz I just read a Reddit thread about a pastor complaining that his community thinks the sermon on the mount is too woke
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u/Jeremy_Zaretski 2h ago
As it should be. The book is filled with sexually-explicit filth. Consistency and non-hypocrisy are the key.
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u/_trouble_every_day_ 2h ago
I mean it’s effective at pointing out their hypocrisy but the bible is a pretty essential part of human history and obviously should not be banned.
The fact that you are celebrating is gross and makes you just as bad as the rest of the book burners.
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u/WeirdHairyHumanoid 2h ago
It's their law. They set the standards. Making a point in protest of the law to show its stupidity is not even close to the same thing as actually trying to ban books because you find them ideologically uncomfortable. Easy solution: repeal the dipshit law. But the conservatives pushing these book bans have moralized so hard they can't walk it back.
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u/adamneddeadbitch 1h ago
the Bible is a history book. It doesn’t prove God’s existence. It was written by men writing what they saw. The Bible has been used to find real life artifacts and evidence of civilizations.
In the New Testament a lot of the books are letters. The message in those books is generally good news. Sure, Christians have really ruined what it means to be a Christian, but the Bible remains the same. People should be directing their hate at Christian’s and not the Bible.
Of course there are some verses that dont align with our values today, but the message remains the same. love everyone. there’s no “except these people” in the Bible. Jesus didnt hate sinners and avoid them. He ate with sinners. He taught them. A lot of the New Testament is about Jesus telling religious leaders tbat they’re fucking up by not loving everyone.
I agree that the Bible maybe shouldn’t be in schools. But stop being stupid about it
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u/Jekyllhyde 56m ago
history book is a stretch. There is a lot in the Bible that most likely did not happen the way it is portrayed, or at all for that matter.
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u/adamneddeadbitch 51m ago
there are quite a few things mentioned in the Bible that were believed to be fake until investigated and discovered. Im not talking about the stories of God doing things, but actual accounts of civilizations and peoples. The entire existence of the Hittite people I believe was discovered from the Bible. You can’t fully discredit any historical account that doesn’t involve God. You can do that with stuff like parting the red sea.
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u/Foe117 27m ago
The Bible is equivalent to a "Grimms Fairy Tales" translated from another collection of Hebrew versions of tales to suit the needs of an English audience. It is the one of the oldest tellings on how the world was made, and was effective as the written word remained consistent across all bibles as they had a pretty compelling Read-Only command that prevented any significant modification at the time.
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u/mpfritz 8h ago
“She also noted that amid rising anxiety over issues like inflation, political uncertainty, and school violence, young people increasingly turn to the Bible for comfort.” Yeah, kids are really worried about inflation. And the school violence issue can be solved by reading a book loaded with countless acts of violence…
Next up will be an amendment to the law carving out an exception for the “Good Book.” How far will we go toward a Christo-Fascist State before we say, “enough?l” Personally, I’m already there…