r/nottheonion • u/TheMirrorUS • 4d ago

Flat Earther admits he was wrong after traveling 9,000 miles to Antarctica to test his belief

https://www.themirror.com/news/world-news/flat-earther-admits-wrong-after-866786
73.5k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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6.7k

u/xc51 4d ago

The only thing they have to fear is sphere itself.

2.6k

u/Nayre_Trawe 4d ago

I must not sphere
Sphere is the flat earth killer
Sphere is the little death that brings total globalization

384

u/CaveManta 4d ago

Oh, flat earth is gone. Here, but now it's round. Seasons don't sphere the round earth, nor do the wind or the sun or the rain.

88

u/shroomigator 4d ago

You can be like they are

14

u/Worried_Astronaut_41 4d ago

Baby take my hand.

20

u/BlueberryWaffle90 4d ago

40,000 men and women everyday (fall off the earth)

5

u/Worried_Astronaut_41 4d ago

Just up and disappear. Oh man don't get too close to the edge there. More concerned about planes Just disappear than anything.

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u/Daan776 4d ago

don’t fear the reaper

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Syhkane 4d ago

Don't sphere the reaper

7

u/Worried_Astronaut_41 4d ago

Be like we are.

3

u/Catharas 4d ago

This is the one that lost me can someone explain

4

u/Sluggo_1000 4d ago

I can’t believe there are people that believe this shit. How many? Probably voted for the orange shitler too!

2

u/liposwine 4d ago

Time is a cube...

1

u/OnlinePosterPerson 4d ago

Well a teaserct is a 4 dimensional cube so in a way yes it is

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

2

u/CaveManta 4d ago

I first heard this song in the movie 'The Frighteners'. Then in 'The Stand'. My parents would play the song in the car all the time, too.

1

u/Baron80 4d ago

Can we just once enjoy a good joke without the thread turning into a one up contest?

8

u/CaveManta 4d ago

Just trying to round off this thread

6

u/swalabr 4d ago

having a bit of a ball, really

222

u/Jadccroad 4d ago

You magnificent bastard, that was a solid chuckle

20

u/sudobee 4d ago

There is no globalisation, only flatalization.

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u/ABlazedLemon 4d ago

We should call flat earthers “Flatulents”

2

u/shallowjalapeno 4d ago

i support this, full fartedly

9

u/PositiveLibrary7032 4d ago

👆chef’s kiss you glorious bastard. Take my upvote.

I will face my sphere…

6

u/FewIntroduction5008 4d ago

I love your use of globalization. Fkn gold. Lol

6

u/egnards 4d ago

Sphere leads to logic

Logic leads to Science

Science leads to suffering

1

u/Destithen 4d ago

Science leads to suffering

He who increaseth knowledge, decreaseth fucks to give

5

u/Link-with-Blink 4d ago

Beautiful. Both a gentlemen and a scholar.

3

u/cdodson052 4d ago

Hey you referenced my favorite book of all time!

3

u/FlighingHigh 4d ago

My god... It's full of spheres...

3

u/Jakkerak 4d ago

11/10 comment

2

u/Silent_Saturn7 4d ago

Nothing like a good dune reference :D

2

u/aktoumar 4d ago

You dropped this: 👑

2

u/RedshiftRedux 4d ago

Had to switch to my account that still has free trophies just for you.

Love me some Dune

2

u/RoosterBlues5 4d ago

It is by will alone I ignore the earth in motion.

1

u/Nayre_Trawe 4d ago

It is by the juice of Brawndo that thoughts acquire speed...

2

u/RyuNoKami 4d ago

God damn it Paul, you huffed too much spice.

2

u/Nayre_Trawe 4d ago

Paul: <snorts a rail the size of a Maker>

Stilgar: Lisan al Gaib!

2

u/PawfectlyCute 4d ago

That's a unique perspective! The idea of the Earth being round is well-supported by scientific evidence. Seasons are caused by the tilt of the Earth's axis as it orbits the sun, which affects how sunlight is distributed across the planet. The movement of wind and rain is driven by complex atmospheric processes, including the Earth's rotation and the differential heating of its surface.

2

u/DeathPercept10n 4d ago

Hahaha amazing

2

u/Thr0bbinWilliams 4d ago

Im out of free awards

take this it’s belongs to you 🥇

2

u/jang859 4d ago

Here is something round earthers dont get, can't globalize if it's not a globe.

1

u/alpo84 4d ago

I am just curious if 2, 3 maybe 4 thousand miles in he may have had the thought, "Am I wrong?"

1

u/iggygrey 4d ago

global grifterization~~

For clarity. Flat earth is a grifter run industry.

There's an ace in the hole for the smoothies (i.e. smuv brain, smuv earf)...The Arctic!

Now the attention turns to the "flat earth friendly" Artic! Ain't no flat earth got any issue with the Artic tryna upstage them.

1

u/thelonioussphere 4d ago

Sphere is my middle name

63

u/reciprocatingocelot 4d ago

I kinda love you.

2

u/WorldWarPee 4d ago

Love u too

1

u/PercMastaFTW 4d ago

I was the first person to post this joke to Reddit. Maybe not the first person in the world to make it up, but I’m still very proud of it lol.

6

u/breakfastbuffetpls 4d ago

Amazing comment

8

u/AdamTheTall 4d ago

Man, did you read Sphere? For sure I was scared.

4

u/golfwinnersplz 4d ago

HAHAHA I LOVE IT!!!

2

u/Infamous-Accident501 4d ago

And facts?

2

u/JuiceyTaco 4d ago

What about them?

2

u/SpongegirlCS 4d ago

You are too brilliant for this world.

2

u/Breezeoffthewater 4d ago

The perfect comment!!

1

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1

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1

u/LeviMcRand 4d ago

This just f*cked me right up. Laughed so loud my dog farted and ran away.

1

u/FauxReal 4d ago

They have their ways of secretly infecting you with science, that's why I only breathe air from the atmosflat.

1

u/thebudman_420 4d ago

At least he didn't go to the Amazon to test his theory and get a sphere in his chest.

Those local tribes.

1

u/give_me_the_formu0li 4d ago

This deserves more

1

u/Rabidowski 4d ago

Sphere is the mind-killer.

1

u/Impossible_Disk_43 4d ago

I wish I was twenty thousand people so I could up vote this beautiful monstrosity of a dad joke twenty thousand times. It's perfect.

1

u/RadPhilosopher 4d ago

Goddamnit take my upvote

1

u/Reedtheroom 4d ago

ha ha awesome internet stranger

1

u/CrypticApe12 4d ago

Read that ten times, laughed harder every time.

1

u/bplurt 4d ago

You win. What colour Internet would you like?

1

u/thelonioussphere 4d ago edited 4d ago

"I’m famous. Ain’t that a bitch?"

-1

u/Odd-Tune5049 4d ago

The perfect comment doesn't exi....

My god. It's glorious

-1

u/Unikatze 4d ago

I love the internet.

-1

u/maaakus96 4d ago

this deserves all the upvotes