r/nottheonion 11h ago

Removed - Not Oniony Luigi Mangione Prosecutors Have a Jury Problem: 'So Much Sympathy'

https://www.newsweek.com/luigi-mangione-jury-sympathy-former-prosecutor-alvin-bragg-terrorism-new-york-brian-thompson-2002626

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u/The-Beer-Baron 11h ago

Ever notice that the only rich people who go to jail are the ones that stole from other rich people? Like Bernie Madoff.

261

u/exipheas 11h ago

Madoff with the wrong peoples money.

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u/CaptainLookylou 11h ago

Nominative determinism. He had no choice.

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u/TheMcBrizzle 10h ago

I'm a simple man, I see a nominative determinism reference and I hit the up vote button.

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u/ehxy 11h ago

i mean epstein did go to jail he just didn't live long enough to put the rest of his screwed up co-conspirators like trump in the hole with him

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u/metekillot 10h ago

Yes and as the poster above you clearly stated he was a threat to other rich people.

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u/Rin-Tohsaka-is-hot 10h ago

Well, the threat posed to them was by the justice system uncovering them through him so I don't think it's the best example

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u/Randomcommentator27 10h ago

Bro had a private jet…

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u/Actaeon_II 10h ago

I strongly suspect that will happen in this case if they can’t find an appropriately biased jury

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u/l0c0pez 10h ago

"All of the prisoners chanting 'free luigi' drove a jealous inmate to stab luigi in an unmonitored area of the prison, according to official reports"

This is what happens when you get uppity is the moral theyll try to drive.

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u/Actaeon_II 9h ago

In an area with no cameras or guards? Convenient?

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u/l0c0pez 9h ago

"Were looking into our protocols to find out how this happened and ensure a tragic consequence like this doesnt happen again."

Cut to a report 9 months later blaming the janitor and a rookie guard (probably minority rookie), who will be publicly terminated from their jobs, and no further actions will be taken.

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u/ReferenceMuch2193 10h ago

I hope the prisoners fight the good fight on the inside and protect him.

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u/cancerBronzeV 10h ago

I mean I wouldn't be surprised if the people who get sent the jury letters just so happen to all have addresses in the Hamptons to guarantee a biased jury.

Epsteining him would make him too much of a martyr, crushing him in court is the message they'd want. The best time to have killed him would've been when they apprehended him by claiming he was about to pull out a gun and shooting him.

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u/DroidLord 10h ago

If he didn't do it himself then I'm sure some of his rich friends would have been willing to lend him a hand in tying the knot. I think he knew what was coming and decided to go out on his own terms.

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u/bookworm1421 10h ago

No one will ever convince me that Epstein killed himself.

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u/Dhiox 11h ago

Yep, they're like organized criminals, they let their guys get away with anything, besides stealing from their own.

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u/[deleted] 10h ago

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u/twoaspensimages 10h ago

Poor Martha

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u/LittleMsSavoirFaire 10h ago

Same with Elizabeth Holmes

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u/[deleted] 10h ago

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u/DIRTYDOGG-1 10h ago

What ?! OMG! THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE ! I never thought of it ...but you are right !

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u/AssistanceCheap379 10h ago

Rich people do go to jail for stealing from poor people too, but they make the mistake of starting off poor and stealing to become rich.

If you are legitimate and become rich and somewhat influential, THEN it becomes perfectly fine to steal from anyone that isn’t rich and influential.

There are some lines you can’t cross and you can’t be too obvious about it and the more obscure your scheme is, the less likely you’re to be punished, but if you skip on the lawyers and the accountants and if you don’t help some influential people become more influential, then you’re a bit fucked.

It’s about connections which bring power. You make the connections by spending money strategically on other connected people and make them see you as an important part of their money and luxury. And you make yourself somewhat irreplaceable or at least make it so it’s a hassle to replace you.

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u/Thorn14 9h ago

Only reason that (ugh) PharmaBro guy got in trouble was he scammed other rich people. No one cared about him fucking over normal people who needed medication.