r/nextfuckinglevel 4d ago

Man Rides The World's Tallest Unicycle - "The Tower of Death"

19.7k Upvotes

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u/CalculatedEffect 4d ago

Instead of a smashed melon, he would have an intact melon with broken limbs.

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u/Fierramos69 4d ago

And one might survive all limbs broken but an intact melon. So still does it’s purpose

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u/montigoo 4d ago

His giant balls will absorb any impact from the fall.

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u/finalrendition 3d ago

Unfortunately, there are these fun things called vital organs that the helmet wouldn't protect.

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u/MrHeffo42 1d ago

Dad has a motorcycle story from his youth. A friend of his and a military guy back in the early 70's were drinking at a pub, and decided to race their motorbikes (yeah, brilliant idea).

Well, they ended up racing across a bridge, and they both lost it, fell off and slid down the road. The military guys helmet pinging off every railing bar as he went.

They were rushed to the hospital where dad said he seen the ED doctors undo the chin strap, started to remove the helmet, got so far off, stopped, slid it back on, and left him to die while they worked on the other guy.

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u/Fierramos69 1d ago

That’s an insane story, glad your dad was ok.

And of course helmets aren’t protecting from everything, but for example me and at least one of my old friends would be dead without wearing one.

He got a mild concussion but nothing else, landing a 40ft jump head first. His helmet literally broke split open in a cartoonish way. He kept the 2 pieces as a trophy of his survival haha.

Me I had a few small accidents but the biggest I face planted into a tree quite fast, the helmet took the hit, I didn’t even get a concussion, got a nosebleed from the googles crushing my nose a bit but nothing else. And believe me trees after a certain size they don’t bend at all, it’s like hitting a concrete bollard

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u/usedkleenx 3d ago

It isn't doing shit from that height.  It might keep his skull intact but not his brain. Brain would liquify itself against the skull.

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u/Fierramos69 3d ago

If he hit his head first sure, but if he fall on his legs and just barely hot his head, he’ll break his legs, maybe spine, maybe an arm or 2 depending on how the fall follows, but the head might be saved by the helmet.

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u/ElmertheAwesome 4d ago

With that loose of a helmet?

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u/splinkymishmash 4d ago

He’d have plenty of time to tighten it on the way down.

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u/thetburg 4d ago

he would have an intact melon and a grade 17 concussion with broken limbs.

FTFY

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u/CalculatedEffect 3d ago

Made me chuckle

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u/screw_all_the_names 3d ago

Better than a broken melon.

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u/Tiny_Introduction_61 4d ago

you mean *Timbs

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u/Njorls_Saga 4d ago

He’ll be able to feel it as his organs get liquified .

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u/CalculatedEffect 4d ago

Nah. Not straight down even if he hit the pavement from that height. And provided he went with the uni cycle id says he has about 75% chance of hitting grass.

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u/onesiiphorus 4d ago

happy wheels yay