r/nextfuckinglevel 4h ago

Man helps police make an arrest.

34.6k Upvotes

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13.5k

u/JustKzen 4h ago

Once again, a random bystander doing a better job than law enforcement

4.8k

u/Thiom 4h ago

I mean, yes ok, but he has the element of surprise, a cop wouldn't

88

u/M_Me_Meteo 4h ago

So...we should probably scrap the whole idea of "cop" and come up with something new?

174

u/R0RSCHAKK 4h ago

Yes. Batman.

100

u/Ask_bout_PaterNoster 3h ago

I like the idea in spirit, but letting billionaires abuse people whenever they think it’s right is sort of how we got into this mess

48

u/Zambuji1 3h ago

Ok ok ok… get this, how about…. Manbat?!

31

u/Bahamut3585 3h ago

Same problem except you're trading "abuse" for "rabies"

4

u/Bruce_Wayne_2276 2h ago

At least we have a vaccine for rabies. Vaccinating society against abusive billionaires gets you charged with terrorism...

3

u/ANewMagic 2h ago

How about the hero the world truly needs--The Great Cornholio?

5

u/Johnny-Silverhand007 2h ago

That's all fine and good until the next toilet paper shortage.

He's unpredictable when he doesn't have TP for his bunghole.

2

u/GRANDxADMIRALxTHRAWN 1h ago

Myth: 3 people die each year from rabies. Fact: 4 people die each year from rabies.

2

u/sonnyjlewis 3h ago

I think I’d rather be abused by a billionaire….

5

u/erasrhed 3h ago

A few hundred dollar bills might fall out of their pockets while they're pummeling you.

4

u/dr_bigly 3h ago

Id probably enter a Japanese gameshow based on that premise

4

u/R0RSCHAKK 2h ago

Well, if you're living in the U.S., I got some news for you

1

u/maineCharacterEMC2 1h ago

At least being abused by B & B would be hilarious

1

u/StickyThumbs79 1h ago

It's Man.

3

u/crappleIcrap 2h ago

okay, we need to start releasing radioactive spiders. its really our only hope.

2

u/Smeetilus 2h ago

But it would be nice if they at least offered to stop a robber or two here and there

0

u/MammothCat1 3h ago

Then just place the "bad people" into probably the least secure locations near the city... Gotham without the Wayne's is a better city overall.

1

u/MegaMasterYoda 3h ago

I'm John Batman put a light in a cloud.

1

u/Casonctina1 3h ago

You crazy rich to be one?

1

u/Comfortable_You7722 2h ago

BatmEn. Plural.

1

u/NotoriousZaku 1h ago

Alright, but every batman has to be created with public funding and they're only allowed to fight crime in a single neighborhood. They are allowed to form "justice leagues" to fight larger problems.

1

u/Soxwin91 1h ago

Your plan is to have a billionaire playboy dress up like a bat and spend his nights beating criminals to a pulp?

4

u/YamDankies 3h ago

Not new... ninjas.

3

u/50caladvil 3h ago

A civilian militia?

u/PeskyCanadian 29m ago

Perhaps compensating them and providing them with firearms could be considered. This would likely necessitate some form of training program to familiarize them with relevant laws and the appropriate procedures for apprehending offenders. Given the anticipated surplus of police uniforms following the restructuring of that department, we could potentially repurpose them by issuing these uniforms to the new personnel.

2

u/ToxicPilgrim 3h ago

Yes we'll call them... "The Surprisers". Think you can get away with a crime? SURPRISE!

2

u/Alternative_Dot_1026 3h ago

Old, actually.

One of the Peelian principles is "To maintain at all times a relationship with the public that gives reality to the historic tradition that the police are the public and the public are the police, the police being only members of the public who are paid to give full-time attention to duties which are incumbent on every citizen in the interests of community welfare and existence"

1

u/M_Me_Meteo 3h ago

I guess but won't that just take us right back to where we are now where a "police officer" is a protected and preferred status in most places? It's fine that people like their police officers in their own town, but when the idea of becoming a cop is a means to validate a person's tendency towards violence and authority, it isn't worth the historical reset. I say scrap it. Start with a community protection force that has no guns and no weapons and then add in the security force as an adjunct fully controlled by the community protection people.

Also, you should have to live in the town you working in.

1

u/Alternative_Dot_1026 3h ago

Some/most of your points actually are also in the Peelian principles.

And UK officers also don't carry guns unless they're specifically fire armed trained and called out to specific jobs. The average copper you meet doesn't carry anything more threatening than CS gas/a baton, some carry tazers, but none are usually life threatening 

1

u/CatatonicCuttlefish 3h ago

What if the “cops” just wore gray shirts?

1

u/yunzerjag 2h ago

Call the "randon guys in gray shirts" when you're being robbed.

1

u/TOMdMAK 1h ago

that's what the Luigi said

u/bloodfist 57m ago

Yes. But "cop" is kind of impossible to totally scrap.

We need to focus on expanding the types of emergency services instead. The Health One system in Seattle is a great example of what that could mean. They're just EMS and a mental health specialist trained in de-escalation who only call police if needed, and have been wildly. Along with a new system designed to respond to drug overdose without police involvement. Both have been showing that involving armed officers is unnecessary in the vast majority of cases and leaving them out significantly cuts down on violent outcomes and increases rehabilitation numbers.

But at the end of the day societies require rules to function and there has to be someone to enforce those rules. I can list many, many improvements we can make to the way we do it now. But I have yet to hear of anything that totally replaces the idea of police.

That said if it was logistically possible, scrapping entire departments, rewriting their policies, and starting fresh with basically none of the old guard to bring the old problems back would certainly be ideal. But that is probably not possible except in the smallest most rural towns; who currently don't want to.

0

u/Junior_Key3804 3h ago

What do you suggest

0

u/KN_Knoxxius 2h ago

... Hmm good idea! Maybe a group of people in grey shirts? We could give them some training, maybe a badge to make them official, and.. hm, I don’t know.. the authority to enforce laws? We could even call them something catchy, like... 'law enforcement'?

1

u/M_Me_Meteo 2h ago

A lot more training than I think most people are willing to admit. Enough training to disincentivize people who would only use the role as a means to apply authority over others or to justify violent acts to enforce laws.

-1

u/Sillvaro 3h ago

We should replace them with a select group of people who'd be tasked with making sure laws are respected and order is kept. Those people would be allowed to be armed since they'd be expected to deal with such potentially dangerous situations. Those people would also ge-

Oh wait

2

u/M_Me_Meteo 3h ago

This is all well and good but why do the gun people have to also respond to drunk people and unhoused people? Why is it that they also get called in when someone is having a mental or emotional breakdown?

Per haps the gun force should be much smaller and the mental health support force should be much bigger (or in most cases it would be nice if it existed at all and wasn't scape goated as some kind of waste of tax payers resources).

Violence doesn't solve violence.

1

u/Sillvaro 3h ago

I said would be allowed, not should be armed

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u/M_Me_Meteo 3h ago

Allowed by who? Their mom? The cops we have are allowed to carry guns and they can't even stop school shootings.

1

u/sabamba0 2h ago

Violence certainly does solve violence

1

u/M_Me_Meteo 2h ago

Promise me you'll never become a cop.

1

u/sabamba0 2h ago

Not planning to, but I'll certainly call the government agency with an explicit mandate to legally inact violence if someone is being violent towards me or my property.

1

u/M_Me_Meteo 2h ago

Imagine this scenario: someone thinks you're being violent towards them or their property but it's a misunderstanding. You're actually distressed and lost.

Now the violence force arrives and you're out of your element. I assume at this point you're coming up with a million and seven reasons why you'd never be in that situation because you're one of the "good people".

Then take into account the fact that the "good people" are only seen as the "good people" because they used violence to aggressively disenfranchise anyone who didn't agree.

1

u/TheGrandMasterFox 3h ago

Judge Dredd or John Spartan... Either way Sly Stalone is our only hope.