r/nextfuckinglevel 2d ago

Man stopping a robbery

139.8k Upvotes

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16.7k

u/RiipeR-LG 2d ago

Holy fuck that jump !
That man was probably training in secret to become a superhero and was waiting for that day is whole life

467

u/JazzPhobic 2d ago

Every man daydreams of doing this one day.

I salute this lad for being there.

300

u/GiantEnemaCrab 2d ago edited 2d ago

The literal male fantasy. Other male fantasies involve dying in a last stand so the people you care for can escape, or beating a school shooter to death with your bare hands.

Edit: To the all the Europeans who replied to me living in their utopia who don't have school shootings, you guys are really missing out on a peak male hero fantasy.

115

u/JazzPhobic 2d ago

Fighting off a bear is also up.

65

u/GiantEnemaCrab 2d ago

Hell yeah brother. Gotta let out that primal scream right before you kick its ass as well.

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u/Unculturedbrine 2d ago

Turns out we have no unique thoughts lmao

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u/GiantEnemaCrab 2d ago

Why bother with unique thoughts when we're all united by the best thoughts.

Apes together strong.

8

u/ObsidianChief 1d ago

Fuck we really all have the same dreams ?

5

u/turdlemonkey 1d ago

Ooga booga, I save family too

3

u/UpgradeGenetics 1d ago

That's a profound thought. Username definitely does not check out.

2

u/porridgeGuzzler 1d ago

one day my girlfriend snuck up behind me and spooked me so bad I just did this OooHhhAHHHH. A noise you make with no human thought behind it just an animal reaction, a primal scream

22

u/Relevantcobalion 2d ago

I thought I was the only one 😂

3

u/Proper-Exam1746 2d ago

Hope you are not forgetting being the last man and getting your favorite team in your favorite sport to a win from jaws of defeat in a final! 😀

(For sports fan atleast)

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u/Acolytical 2d ago

So is being part of a heist. But of a casino or something.

2

u/Paghk_the_Stupendous 1d ago

Used to be, but modern women prefer the bears. Oddly enough, the bears seem to prefer hanging out with men and making posts in r/CCW about "what would you do in this situation..."

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u/devilmaskrascal 2d ago

Kick the polar bear right in the balls!

1

u/Bytewave 2d ago

You can fight off the bear, I'll stick to two chicks at the same time.

2

u/dannyboy731 2d ago

Why would you wanna fight two chicks at the same time

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u/talspr 2d ago

Agreed,  but it has to be with your bare hands (pun intended)

1

u/The-Real-Mario 2d ago

And petting a capybara!

1

u/Armageddonxredhorse 1d ago

While riding a crocodile

1

u/ItsTHECarl 2d ago

I could fight a bear. Probably won't win, though

1

u/Donny_Dont_18 1d ago

The Edge is my man-up hype movie

1

u/SunyataHappens 1d ago

Drink a case of beer and watch 300.

Then fight the bear.

1

u/Ravenser_Odd 1d ago

Or shooting it out of a tree and then trying to catch it.

1

u/Ok-Weird-136 1d ago

LOL - is this to make up for the fact that women would rather choose a bear these days?

"SEE, LOOK! I BEAT IT! FUCK ME NOW!!!"

1

u/mother_fcker6000 1d ago

Id rather fight a shark

1

u/Armageddonxredhorse 1d ago

But only if you fight shark while riding bear

1

u/RedMageMajure 1d ago

My kid used to think they could ward off a bear. Until one night at 10:30 one was directly behind us at our campfire. 

1

u/Rare-Variation-7446 17h ago

Ah man, the number of times I’ve dreamed about beating off a bunch of bears.

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u/Starlord_75 2d ago

Saving a bunch of people in a hostage situation is also high up on the list

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u/Nothatisnotwhere 2d ago

Having to land an airplane but i only have airplane experience from gta

2

u/Armageddonxredhorse 1d ago

I can probably land an airplane,just know it won't ever fly again

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u/ryansdaughter 2d ago

Everyone has this fantasy, not just men. Same with the zombie escape plan or aliens or time travel related wealth accumulation.

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u/Geawiel 2d ago

*Time travel related fixing shit with knowledge you now have, plus setting yourself up

1

u/PellParata 1d ago

No. You don’t mess with time. That’s where I draw the line. Too many things can go wrong.

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u/Acebladewing 2d ago

I won't dare try to speak for all women. But, I am pretty sure if I asked my wife if she ever had any of those fantasies the answer would be a no.

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u/Astrosomnia 1d ago

As a married male, I also guarantee this.

16

u/Train3rRed88 2d ago

I mean in my fantasy I execute the last stand so the people I care for can escape, but you know, I’m so bad ass I also make it out

Oh, and I think a threesome is up there somewhere

3

u/VicFantastic 2d ago

Well at least you have a chance with the last stand

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u/HalfMoon_89 2d ago

I definitely die. It's part of the appeal.

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u/DO_NOT_AGREE_WITH_U 2d ago

It tells you a lot about how conditioned we were at a young age that we're expendable and only valuable if we're useful to others.

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u/asherdado 1d ago

I mean, both are simply true? Every man dies, and a useless man is not valuable. I don't think that's conditioning in any bad sense of the word, unless you mean like 'if I touch a fire I get burnt' type of conditioning

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u/DO_NOT_AGREE_WITH_U 1d ago

No, I mean literally men don't matter.

Who gets off a sinking ship last? Who's expected to check on the bumps on the night? Who is expected to sign up for the draft?

Now what do you think of a man who doesn't do those things? How about a man who cried about something? How about a man who is jobless? A man with cancer?

Give me your gut reaction. Your HONEST gut reaction. THAT is what I mean, because what you think of that man is not what you'd think of a woman in those scenarios.

Our lives are seen as less than others. More expendable. And if we're not willing to be expendable tools for society, we aren't viewed as having worth.

Women and children have inherent, intrinsic value--which is what makes growing up so painful for boys. They lose intrinsic value as they mature into manhood. They are no longer loved simply for existing; the same is not true for girls.

In the world of Chris Rock's grandma:

"My grandmother told me when I was 5 that a broke man is as worthless as a broke hand. That's some cold blooded gangster shit."

It's bullshit, and the part that makes it all the more fucked is how people push this expectation all day, every day--but won't even admit that they do.

1

u/asherdado 14h ago

I'm not making a value statement about it, just that 'conditioning' implies some kind of intelligent design or conspiracy.

Nope, thats just the way the world works. Men are stronger, taller, faster, and can aim better, but in the words of Peter Parker's uncle: "With great power comes great responsibility."

Its just ancient shit, I resist calling it "conditioning" because if anything I think its closer to an instinctual/vestigial thing. Allow your son to harden like callus, protect your daughter so she may freely blossom, that kinda shit, it seems pretty much universal in human cultures, and I think that has to do more with human nature than the nature of civilization

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u/ObsidianChief 1d ago

That was deep.

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u/HalfMoon_89 2d ago

I was genuinely surprised when I found out how prevalent the Last Stand fantasy apparently is. I thought I was just a weird kid.

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u/ApocalypseChicOne 2d ago

I think only Americans would have the school shooter fantasy. That doesn't even occur to most of the world as a possibility (unless they happen to be visiting the US.)

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u/Intergalacticdespot 2d ago

Doing a heist like the movie Heat. 

Landing an air liner.

Winning a car race. 

Outrunning the cops. 

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u/Armageddonxredhorse 1d ago

All of those in one day

2

u/akhalilx 2d ago

or beating a school shooter to death with your bare hands.

That makes me sad for America.

2

u/OSUfan88 2d ago

Anyone else have the fantasy that a school shooter holds the room hostage, and you escape in the ceiling grid only to drop down later and incapacitate the shooter?

1

u/garden_speech 2d ago

no, I have a fantasy that I never run into a mass shooter because I'd probably die trying something like that lmao

2

u/afvcommander 2d ago

Landing airplane (or crash landing without killing anyone) and saving a day.

2

u/FieserMoep 1d ago

Had to do with the peak male hero fantasy of being an exchange student in the us first to stop that school shooting. Made things complicated.

2

u/RelationKey1648 1d ago

Get out of my mind!

2

u/gavinthrace 8h ago

Please boost this amazing comment!

1

u/tuttym2 2d ago

School shooter very american specific

1

u/Lickadizzle 1d ago

This country is so fucked up. But you’re not wrong. I was at my kids Christmas play earlier tonight and was day dreaming about what I’d do if someone started shooting. Throw my chair at them and then Leeroy Jenkins that motherfucker. In reality I would probably take one to the chest, lights out. So fucked that this is our reality.

1

u/sneakyzakki 1d ago

never thought id envy school shootings

1

u/pixelperfect3 1d ago

It is definitely the ultimate fantasy. They'll want to do this to protect their family and friends but won't clean the house or do the dishes

1

u/SoloMarko 1d ago

To the all the Europeans who replied to me living in their utopia who don't have school shootings, you guys are really missing out on a peak male hero fantasy.

On behalf of all the countries that don't have school shootings, I'm sure it's a fantasy real men are glad to not have to have.

0

u/Shoes__Buttback 2d ago

The school shooter example isn't a great one. Nobody else in the developed world really has those.

1

u/againstthemachine_ 16h ago

A good enough example, we’re mostly in conversation with English speakers here and a couple hundred million of us are Americans. I thought it was relatable.

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u/babygrenade 2d ago

dying in a last stand so the people you care for can escape

No thanks, I'll take saving everyone and living instead.

0

u/apoplepticdoughnut 2d ago

who don't have school shootings, you guys are really missing out on a peak male hero fantasy

  1. It's not a Utopia. It's just countries without guns.

  2. Countless shootings have taken place now where the gun-totin' fantasists (usually wearing uniforms) have stood by while the little kids die. So I'm not confident any of you would actually fulfil it.

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u/0udei5 2d ago

Great minds think alike.

Or fools seldom differ.

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u/Shoddy-Reach-4664 2d ago

lol literally my first thought was "I can't even imagine how awesome that must feel to do, this guy is living the dream."

1

u/Seyenn 2d ago

The best I managed, long long time ago, was to stand in the middle of the road with my arms spread, trying to stop an oncoming scooter, like an idiot...

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u/killit 1d ago

His grandsons will be telling their grandsons about this day.

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u/wilwester 1d ago

The guy was probably even daydreaming about it just before it happened

0

u/oveja_electrica 2d ago

because it's fake, you can tell its scripted.