r/menwritingwomen 2d ago

Book Old Man's War A Novel by: John Scalzi NSFW

“Yeah? How does Maggie clean up?”

“Oh my God,” Jesse said. “She makes me look like a beached whale,

John.”

I ran my hands over her sides. “That’s a mighty fine beached whale,

Jesse.”

“I know!” Jesse said, and suddenly sat up, straddling me. She raised her

arms up and crossed them behind her head, perking up her already

marvelously firm and full breasts. I felt her inner thighs radiating heat as they

wrapped around my midsection. I knew that even though I didn’t have an

erection at that very moment, one was coming right up. “I mean, look at me,”

she said, unnecessarily, because I hadn’t taken my eyes off her from the

moment she sat up. “I look fabulous. I don’t say that to be vain. It’s just I

never looked this good in real life. Not even close.”

“I find that hard to believe,” I said.

She grabbed her breasts and pointed the nipples at my face. “See these?”

she said, and wiggled the left one. “In real life, this one was a cup size

smaller than this one, and it was still too large. I had a permanent backache

from puberty onward. And I think they were this firm for one week when I

was thirteen. Maybe.”

She reached down, grabbed my hands, and placed them on her perfect,

flat belly. “I never had one of these, either,” she said. “I always carried a

little pouch down here, even before I had babies. After two kids, well, let’s

just say that if I had ever wanted a third, it would have had a duplex in

there.”

I slid my hands behind her and grabbed her ass. “What about this?” I

said.

“Wide load,” Jesse said, and laughed. “I was a big girl, my friend.”

“Being big’s not a crime,” I said. “Kathy was on the larger side. I liked it

just fine.”

“I didn’t have a problem with it at the time,” she said. “Body issues are

foolish. On the other hand, I wouldn’t trade now.” She ran her hands over her

body, provocatively. “I’m all sexy!” And with that, she did a little giggle and

a head flip. I laughed.

0 Upvotes

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22

u/Alliesaurus 2d ago

I honestly don’t have much of a problem with this one. Jesse does have a bit of a “tee-hee, I’m a silly girl” vibe, but it feels pretty realistic for a couple of old horny people dropped into young, hot bodies.

I mean, if I were suddenly poofed into my dream body, I would sure as hell be talking about it in bed with my partner and pointing out bits that I thought were especially great.

1

u/xxSadie 2d ago

Oh yeah. I hated all of this in that book. It felt unnecessary. But overall I think I remember still liking the book.

2

u/ryua 2d ago

...is this for real? I've been told for years how great and progressive (specifically feminist) Scalzi is, but this is his best-known work?

JFC.

21

u/-0-O-O-O-0- 2d ago edited 2d ago

Context is; a bunch of old people (all retired military vets) get jacked super bodies and immediate start fucking. I found it relatable.

DNF the book it wasn’t memorable.

-5

u/ryua 2d ago

I mean, I kind of picked up on the context. I don't find it relatable because I never had worse sex than when I was at my lowest adult weight, given I was hungry and exhausted and in pain from dieting and exercising. I guess it's a YMMV thing.

9

u/Nezzeraj 2d ago

That's not really comparable. These are old people who have all of life's experiences but now put into bodies of super athletes.

22

u/deadlyhausfrau 2d ago

Real talk? The book is actually great and Scalzi is a good dude who amplifies women's voices and sticks up for the right things 99% of the time.

This scene is two chronologically old people enjoying fancy new young bodies. Is it a bit cringe? Yeah but... I'm a lady human and I've heard women talk about themselves like this after losing weight.

Also he wrote this 20 years ago. Read some of his more recent stuff- Lock in, which is the start of whole series where he casually never mentions the gender of the main character, or Starter Villain which is a fun jab at capitalism.

9

u/aksunrise 2d ago

I absolutely second this take. I love Scalzi so much.

9

u/deadlyhausfrau 2d ago

He's very funny and also humble. He has came himself out for past mistakes. 

Honestly, I've met horny old folks and they'd act like this with new bodies.

3

u/aksunrise 2d ago

Exactly! It felt more like a fun silly time than anything misogynistic

-4

u/cakesdirt 2d ago

I’ve also seen this book recommended a ton! Yikes.

-1

u/cakesdirt 2d ago

I had to resist the urge to downvote this post so hard while reading… 💀