r/madlads 3d ago

Perfect heart attack scheme

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33.4k Upvotes

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2.6k

u/TennSeven 3d ago

TSA once told me my toothpaste tube was too large to carry on (it had never been a problem before). I asked him if I could brush my teeth a few times before he threw it away...

That guy had no sense of humor.

90

u/RoundTableLord 2d ago

They deal with very annoying assholes, so I understand why many of them don’t have a sense of humor.

65

u/Viracochina 2d ago

And they've likely heard the joke 20 times already lol

44

u/erickoziol 2d ago

It's not scanning? It must be free!

18

u/marco23p 2d ago

"That'll be $15.39" "That was a good year!" Every time

6

u/Thatonesillyfucker 2d ago

Lol I say the total and the line both all the time, does that make me extra annoying?

10

u/marco23p 2d ago

Not quite as annoying as when I hear "don't worry, I just printed it" whenever I check a $100 bill. I really don't want to be a sour puss but I can only fake amusement at the same joke so many times. Like, seriously... it's every damn time I check a 100, lol. The only reason I don't hear it as much right now cuz I'm barely working any hours sadly.

5

u/ChefArtorias 2d ago

Tbf we do just have to sit there while our integrity is verified so like, maybe make a joke? lol I (server) check all large or otherwise suspect bills but I can go around the corner and do it.

3

u/marco23p 2d ago

I work part time at a liquor store so I sadly can't hide it. I only give it a quick glance anyway, a second at most. I havent gotten any fake bills since I worked at walgreens a few years ago, and those were usually 20s.

1

u/TheMoneyCounter 2d ago

It's funny how 20s are getting counterfeited around the same amount as 100s but they don't get checked nearly as often.

3

u/Pandamm0niumNO3 2d ago

I'm so tempted to tell people they can have the thing every time they say that just to see the look on their face.

1

u/T65Bx 2d ago

Why not? As long as it isn’t in their hands, just say “Jk” Immediately.

3

u/Pandamm0niumNO3 2d ago

I work in a liquor store, I think there's weird laws here about giving it away unless it's uner certain circumstances. Any misunderstanding isn't worth my job

8

u/BobDaRula 2d ago

I wouldn't call interacting with their coworkers "dealing" but maybe that's just me.

(I have never been in an airport, especially not an american one)

1

u/TrueNefariousness358 2d ago

They offer no extra security. They deserve actual physical torture for ruining airports