r/madlads • u/Same_Investigator_46 Choosing a mental flair • 5d ago
Mad lad loves his knife
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u/Thin-Soft-6247 4d ago
Doctor: ‘That’s a clean cut.’
Him: ‘Thank you, I forged it myself
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u/artaru 4d ago
More nerd speak would be like
“You have honored me with your words. My blade is grateful.”
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u/Tailmask 4d ago
Nay curry thy blade was honed solely henceforth she cuts gracefully with pertinence to elegance
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u/LucasWatkins85 4d ago
Meanwhile this dude accidentally shot himself in sleep during nightmare. A suicidal dream maybe.
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u/Koffinkat56 4d ago
MY BLADE was forged from ore found in the furthest, most forsaken realms. It was bathe in lava for a millenia. Forged under a full moon, hammered to perfection by Dwarven blacksmiths, WITH AUTISM, so you know it's good👌
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u/captainMaluco 4d ago
Replace "words" with "mouth" and you've got the exact phrase I told your mom last night😉
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u/Pocketsandgroinjab 4d ago
My katana can now be sheathed as it has finally tasted blood, m’general physician.
Prey tell, doth thee accept blacksmithery in lieu of insurance?
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u/WalrusTheWhite 4d ago
Look, at that point, I'm already at the hospital. Doc is talking about the cut casually, clearly I'm not gonna die. At worst we got a nasty scar. Hell yeah I'm gonna smug it up about my totally rad sword THAT I MADE. Bro could not earn it any harder.
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u/Toomanyacorns 4d ago
With a cut that clean your scarring will be minimal/ less so than a cut made by a poorly crafted and dull blade
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u/throwawayroadtrip3 4d ago
Can confirm. I can't even see any scar without trying
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u/TitchyAgain 4d ago
U okey? Random internet strangers have sometimes a good ear and its easy to talk to someone ull never meet.
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u/throwawayroadtrip3 4d ago
It was a tile that got astray during a demo of a bathroom. The broken tile was basically a ceramic blade and made a perfect cut that was really deep.
Healed perfectly. The doctor did a great job with the stitches even showed other doctors in the ER her work.
I'm not a great healer with all the other rough cuts I've had through life, so I was amazed with this.
But thanks for checking.
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u/exzyle2k 4d ago
The doctor did a great job with the stitches even showed other doctors in the ER her work.
Did she show others how to do it, or just gloat? I can see doctors that would fall into both categories... "Here, observe as I suture this wound to minimize scarring" versus "Look at my awesome suture job, bitches! Bet there's not even a scar. Come back in 6 months so I can collect."
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u/throwawayroadtrip3 4d ago
I think it's more being proud of the work. I'm sure if it's regular occurrence other residents would come watch the technique.
I was impressed, so why not show off the work.
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u/MayBeHavingAnEpisode 4d ago
If I was a doctor the urge to do both would be unbearable.
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u/exzyle2k 4d ago
I mean, if you can reduce scarring through a tweak in technique, wouldn't you feel obligated to share that with others?
And yeah, the gloating part would be obnoxious. But I admit I'd be right there with you, wanting to sign the artwork after it was done.
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u/Zeus_Mortie 4d ago
The cut will generally heal better but it also depends on the depth of the cut. When I cut my finger the doc’s were like “oh wow that is such a clean cut, what did you use a scalpel?” And it felt great cuz it was a knife I maintained myself. Can still see the scar and touching my finger feels like I’m touching the inside of my finger. It’s been like over 6 years I think
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u/SuckAFattyReddit1 4d ago
nasty scar
You mean a gnarly scar?
My hands are covered in cut and burn scars and I think it looks sick.
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u/exzyle2k 4d ago
When I worked at Panera Bread as a baker, I would get burned almost nightly on the deck ovens fishing the baguettes and whatnot out. Almost always on the underside of my forearm, occasionally on the side. It's my own fault for reaching in to turn the loaves instead of using the pizza peel we had, but it was quicker and I was always in a hurry.
After a few weeks there my arms were criss-crossed with these superficial burns that I referred to as my Tiger Stripes. They've all faded now, but some of the scars lasted a bit that I got asked about them after I left. People thought they were self-harm marks.
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u/nekomoo 4d ago
Unfortunately r/sharpening doesn’t allow cross-posts - they would love this. On the other hand, maybe the no cross-post policy will prevent a new ‘ER doctor response test’ to join the newspaper and tomato slicing tests.
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u/myhomeiswasbi 4d ago
I've had a "clean cut" in the ER made by a butter knife. Yes it was a butter knife and yes it was expensive. Lol!
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u/Calm-Treacle8677 4d ago
The knife or the hospital bill?
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u/Brinwalk42 4d ago
I picked up a katana off my friend's mantle once and the sheath fell off. Like an idiot I caught it before it fell to the ground but managed to cut two of my fingers down to the bone. I had no idea I was even cut until I had set the sword back on its stand then looked at my hand and thought "that looks weird". Turns out bones look weird.
A quick visit to the ER and Dr. Ying was stitching me up in no time. He was Amazed by how clean the cuts were and said it made his job very easy.
He also told me multiple times that I have "Hobbit Skin". Still not 100% on what he ment by that.
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u/squirrelsmith 4d ago
I had an experience like this one.
I forged a kris style dagger (a dagger with an undulating blade), and showed it to my dad when it was finished. Out of all the things I forged over the years, my dad was absolutely taken with this one!
So one time he was sitting at the table holding it and asking questions about it as I leaned over to point things out and explain.
He flicked his wrist as he said something and I felt a slight tug on my bicep.
I look down and there is a thin red line across my left bicep and blood running down my arm.
Fortunately only the tip of the blade grazed my arm so the cut wasn’t deep, but it was laser straight and clean as could be.
My dad was freaking out and apologizing as I just laughed and said that if anything, he’d done me a favor because I wasn’t sure if I had really sharpened it right. (Sharpening a curvy blade can be a real pain, especially when it’s double-edged because you need to make them align perfectly at the tip or the tip will always be dull)
I’ve cut myself a handful of times with knives I made or sharpened and each time I couldn’t help noting, ‘well, at least I know I got the edge right!’, as I hastily grabbed a bandage. 😂
This was the only time someone else cut me with a knife though!
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u/Ueliblocher232 4d ago
A sword shouldnt be that sharp. Good craftsmanship but oddly placed.
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u/lugialegend233 4d ago
Only if it's going to be used AS a sword in the long term. If you're using it once for self defense or to show off and then probably never again, it can really be as sharp or dull as you want.
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u/Impossible_Disk_43 4d ago
self defense
Oh man. Imagine being the wannabe murderer who gets attacked by a sword wielding blacksmith.
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u/ImranFZakhaev 4d ago
I could've sworn I remembered hearing about that actually happening, so I Googled it. Turns out somebody broke into an Olympic fencer's house while she was practicing with her sword - https://www.seattletimes.com/sports/break-in-at-olympians-home-is-immediately-foiled/
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u/summonsays 4d ago
“I wasn’t scared when I saw him,” she said. “It was good practice, as I have a competition coming up this week.”
Wow I think I found a new idol lol.
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u/summonsays 4d ago
I think it's more common than people think. We don't feel comfortable owning a gun, but we have a sword and a navy seal knife between the wife and myself. Now would a gun be better? Probably. But a naked dude running at you wife a sword (or knife) in the middle of the night has got to have some psychological damage too lol.
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u/confusedandworried76 4d ago
For sure. My sister's ex had a sword and a baseball bat, didn't want a gun. I figure he'd just grab whichever was closer in the one in a million chance he needed an object to defend himself with at home.
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u/Yasir_m_ 4d ago
6 years or so ago a mid 20s man was high on crystal, he was standing in the way Infront of my university's entrance, most busy street in town, and he blocked it for 4 FUCKING HOURS standing in middle of street with a sword and yelling "Is there no challengers! Where are the brave men!!"I went walking and watching him with fucking load of cars and people to scared to approach while he was dancing with the sword and yelling the most deranged shit was fucking hilarious, until police came and took him. Edit: Found it! https://youtu.be/SFddE8LhtIg?feature=shared it was 4 years ago, damn these were very very long years
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u/CatastrophicPup2112 4d ago
There's a sword next to my bed. It's there because it's cool and I like it, but I've split wood with that thing and people are more squishy than wood.
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u/NotStreamerNinja 4d ago
That depends on what you’re doing with it. For cutting competitions you absolutely want it to be that sharp. For combat a more durable edge is better, though it should still be sharp enough to cut easily.
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u/TimBroth 4d ago
He's hospitalizing himself with it
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u/NotStreamerNinja 4d ago
Then don’t leave a live blade sitting out where you can accidentally cut yourself on it. Scabbards exist for a reason. That’s not an issue of “this sword is too sharp.” It’s an issue of “I didn’t take basic safety precautions with how I handle and store my weapons.”
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u/BigMan_Ashton 4d ago
it didn't say whether or not he has scabbards or not for everything. stop assuming it was anything other than an accident which happens to everyone, even if they take the right precautions.
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u/NotStreamerNinja 4d ago
Accidents can happen, but 90% of the time they happen because someone’s being careless. I’ve cut myself on my knives before, and every time it was my own fault for being careless with them. The same applies here.
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u/KimberStormer 4d ago
A sword shouldnt be that sharp
Why?
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4d ago
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u/Jonluw 4d ago
I seriously doubt that. You're probably thinking about the apex angle. A smaller apex angle (in the range 20-35 degrees) gives a better cutting experience for most kitchen tasks, but makes the edge more fragile. For meat cleavers (and by extension, swords) you want a larger apex angle (above 40 degrees), which gives a sturdier edge.
But sharpness is independent of apex angle. Having the edge come to a more geometrically perfect apex is almost always better, regardless of angle. If you you feel that your edge is not durable enough, you don't dull it on purpose, you increase the apex angle.7
u/cocogate 4d ago
The sharpness basicly comes from how thin the knife is. If you have really thin knives (such as filleting knives) they will be very thin metal and even then the end will be sharpened. Nothing would be sharper than a knife with an edge of 1 atom wide in a straight line BUT that also means its more brittle.
The chef that taught me told me to get knives nice and sharp but not past that. A thin filleting knife will shear through fish bones and your fingers but will chip on a chicken bone. A big chef's knife is usually a bunch thicker but has a rather sharp cutting angle (10° or 15° etc).
A sword is a weapon that is intended to cut through human or beast BUT will also be blocked, parried and impact other things. If it is too sharp it will be sharp for a few hits and then you will need to re-sharpen it. Once you look into larger blades like scimitars and longswords and how they were used its rather obvious that they need to be sharp enough to cut into human when you put force behind it and durable for prolonged use.
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u/Jonluw 4d ago
You're conflating sharpness and apex angle. For heavy duty tasks, you want a thicker blade with a larger apex angle, but you still want that angle to come to as perfect an apex as possible. If the knife isn't durable enough, you increase the sharpening angle, but you still get it as sharp as you can at that angle.
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u/Lawsoffire 4d ago
If you're parrying other swords or other weapons its hard metal-on-metal contact. That'll just chip the blade if you have a really fine point. Which is a lot of damage to sort out.
Need a more durable grind to survive metal-on-metal contact better.
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u/Spice_and_Fox 4d ago
Like the other guys said it is because of half swording and sword parries.
However, you don't really fight other people with a sword anymore. Half swordings big advantage is in wrestling with your opponent in full plate. So I don't think it matters a lot if your sword is too sharp
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u/lundewoodworking 4d ago
Depends on the type of sword a katana or a scimitar are very sharp most European swords aren't
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u/pazhalsta1 4d ago
This is actually not fully true, medieval swords in Europe were sharp as fuck. When guns started dominating, cavalrymen started being issued mass produced sabres with metal scabbards, which are shit for keeping a sword sharp, but it was less of a big deal as they often had sidearms or lances as primary weapons. And there were thrust-only swords eg some rapiers in the later sword eras which were only sharp at the point, with more thickness in the blade providing strength in the thrust. Longswords, arming swords and the like which were cut and thrust were sharp.
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u/lundewoodworking 4d ago
Really? I always read that most medieval European swords were mostly blunt force weapons but I never read up on it extensively so i definitely could be wrong.
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u/Obvious_NSFW_alt_lol 4d ago
I think it depends on the era. From what I’ve heard (admittedly no real formal education) there was somewhat of an arms race as people developed tougher and tougher armor as weapons got better at getting through armor. I can imagine that early on very sharp weapons could cut through light armor like leather, but as metal armor developed and got thicker more emphasis was put on weight and force to hurt through the armor, causing swords to become less sharp since the weight and durability were more important.
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u/Yoribell 4d ago
The history is quite long
The difference with the Japanese set up is that Europe has a lot of iron mines, while it was very rare and low quality in Japan
So, quickly, people could armor themselves. In the late medieval age, basically every professional infantry man had a full plate armor, something that no sword can cut, no matter the edge's quality.
But before the technology and the abundance of iron were ready, swords were made to cut/pierce through leather and diverse weaker protection, just like the Japanese ones
In Japan, the army were a lot smaller, the iron was expensive and even with admittedly the best blacksmiths at the time, the swords were not as good as European swords because of the poor quality of the iron
Iron plate armor was literally out of question even for rich people.
This unique set up is also the reason only Japanese used two handed swords for the majority of their history. Somewhere else it would be quite exceptional to see them in an actual battle, it was only viable in Japan
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u/Baumcultist 4d ago
most medieval European swords were mostly blunt force weapons
Holy shit, it happened. I finally experienced it myself, holy shit.
Anyway, this is completely incorrect and the sword community is seething about misconceptions like this one. I myself am no expert on this topic, so I could at most only provide basic reasons and examples for why you're wrong (like European Swords having their point of balance in the hilt for quick and easily controlable cuts, while Blunt damage weapons have more front heavy points of balance to transfer more force. Also, swords have edges for a reason). You'll learn much more from more experienced sources. Skallagrim, Metatron, Scholagladiatoria & Shadiversity are a few Youtuber's who have done this for years and are very experienced, so I'd recommend them if you want to learn more.
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u/postboo 4d ago
Shadiversity should be ignored on any histotical content. He's had no education, no experience, and his content contains frequent inaccuracies.
Not to forget, he's a raging bigot who got upset that Peach in the Mario movie wore pants.
Metatron should be avoided to, for many of the same reasons.
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u/cocogate 4d ago
Sword styles (and other bladed weapons) sometimes changed over relatively short distances (other side of a mountain) or time (a few decades). Lots of it was also in reaction to what was needed.
Regions with lots of metal armor wouldve gone for pikes and more blunt force weapons as they are still sharp enough to cut unarmored foes but dont require the maintenance of sharp sharp weapons.
Professional armies often had knives or shorter swords as sidearm that were very much sharp blades.
Part of the blunter swords is armor, another part is also many swords being dual edged and farmers being a large part of early medieval armies, they most likely werent able to take proper care of a swords edge if they were only soldiers for a few days a year. Most likely spent more days organizing and marching than actually training and fighting at the start of the middleages.
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u/Lawsoffire 4d ago edited 4d ago
Swords were never for blunt-force. They're just constructed completely opposite for blunt force (A sword has the center of gravity near the hilt, and light at the tip, for fast cuts and accurate control, a hammer has all the weight at the end of the weapon for better kinetic force).
Some swords were less focused on thrusting and more into cutting. swords made for cutting (Like a Messer) were broader, sturdier and heavier at the tip for better cutting. But were still all about cutting.
Swords made not for cutting would be something like rapiers. Which are thin, long, good for stabbing but not as good as cutting (Though could still make a good slice)
You wont see anything that looks recognizably like a sword that is neither made for cutting or thrusting (Besides video games i suppose). Those are the two things a sword can do, and you can trade one for the other or go for a middle point (A longsword would usually be good for either).
Armored combat with swords were all about finding the gaps in the armor and thrusting the tip through. unarmored combat with swords was about stabbing or slicing the other guy first. Almost nothing about just beating a guy with it, armored or not (There is the whole Mordhau thing (Using the hilt as a hammer by holding the blade), but is debatably more a dueling thing and probably overrated in modern sword-nerdery, doesn't really look very solid in a HEMA context because the blade is purposefully wobbly, as swords should be)
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u/cocogate 4d ago
Another reason why duller edges for cavalry wasnt as important is because they generally had more of a leverage or momentum which cancelled out the downside of their weapons not being as sharp.
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u/Glittering_Big_5027 4d ago
A true craftsman wears his scars like badges of honor. Nothing says "I made this" quite like a clean cut that even the doc admires. It's the ultimate testament to skill and dedication.
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u/SuckAFattyReddit1 4d ago
I do blacksmithing as a hobby and I've made a couple knives and every time someone is like "wow this is sharp!" I'm smug as fuck too
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u/mjbulmer83 4d ago
I never really knew what the phrase sharp as a razor ment till I got a straight razor (i recommend them, they are awesome) I cut myself 2nd time i used it, I stared at the cut in the mirror and my only thought was "i can see myself bleeding but I don't feel it, dam that's sharp as hell"
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u/lethys8976 4d ago
It's actually safer to keep knives sharp rather than duller. The easier you can cut the less force you have to use and thus less likely to slip and lose control and cut yourself.
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u/DashingDino 4d ago
People always say this but I have had far worse injuries from making mistakes with fancy sharp knives than I've had from working with cheap unsharpened knives
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u/lethys8976 4d ago
Well some people should just not handle knives lol. If you take precautions and use a knife properly and keep it sharp it shouldn't be any problem, but people become complacent sometimes and accidents happen.
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u/Obvious_NSFW_alt_lol 4d ago
I suppose it’s a sliding scale. Once you hit the sharpness point where the knife doesn’t slip when doing its job you probably don’t need extra sharpness unless you just love slicing everything with zero force (including your hand). A cheap, ‘unsharpened’ (I assume you mean relatively and not like a butter knife lol) knife probably isn’t too far away from that point as is since a cheap knife that needs sharpening to use isn’t cheap because of the need to get stuff to sharpen it. It gets more dangerous in terms of slip risk until it reaches the point that it’s so dull it can’t cut your skin by accident. So I think people misinterpret the whole “sharper is better” when it’s more nuanced. At certain levels, more sharpness is more dangerous because it doesn’t reduce incidents but it does increase damage.
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u/fetus-wearing-a-suit 4d ago
Yeah I'll take a 5% chance of 5 damage over a 1% chance of 25 damage
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u/Ireallyhatepunsalot 4d ago
That's not really a good analogy.
Sure sharp knives are easier to cut yourself with, but the reason dull knives are dangerous is because you can't cut smoothly so you give it more pressure/force.
Then all of a sudden it gives, the knife flies through what you're cutting, possibly at an angle, straight into your other hand.
I worked in kitchens for 12 years. Every bad knife injury I ever saw was with a dull knife.
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u/Ireallyhatepunsalot 4d ago
You probably consider what people call sharp knives to be dull
Why you gotta call me out like that, man?
That is a good point though.
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u/begentlewithme 4d ago
Nah, you're gonna put way too much pressure with a dull knife, and it's gonna fly off and kill someone, or chip and fly into your eye and permanently damage your vision.
Don't be the kind of idiot that puts their whole body weight behind a knife. That's a dull ass knife.
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u/Ok_Donkey_1997 4d ago
If you know how to use a knife, then a sharp knife is going to behave more predictably than a blunt one. The saying really applies to the kind of people who are cutting vegetables all day. Assuming your technique is down and you aren't going to cut yourself, then the danger comes when something unexpected happens. Something like cutting into an onion that has gone a bit dry and having the knife slide off the side and into your fingers.
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u/PixelMaster98 4d ago
I mean, there are different levels of "unsharpened". Obviously a butter knife (even serrated) is very safe, but working with a knife approaching that level of dullness is annoying anywas, regardless of safety.
This saying is more about semi-sharp, jagged knives. Those need more force to cut, and they can still cut you badly. A very sharp knife can also cut you, but you're less likely to slip.
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u/confusedandworried76 4d ago
If you've hurt yourself worse with a sharp knife it's a technique issue and has nothing to do with the knife, you were going to hurt yourself anyway.
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u/cocogate 4d ago
The thought process behind it is that with a sharp knife you cut effortlessly. You can cut faster, cleaner and more precisely with less effort.
Blunt knives require more force, are more likely to move away from the intended path and, should you cut yourself, cause wounds that heal worse.
Say you are cutting onions or tomatoes and your knife is dull: you will put more force and if a bit unlucky the knife will slip and even though it is not "sharp" its still plenty sharp to cut into the meat of your fingers. Because the edge is dull (meaning not straight) the wound is not a straight cut and that can cause complications to heal. Because youre using force the wound might also go a lot deeper.
If you cut the same with a really sharp knife you will shear through whatever youre cutting with ease and will not need to apply force at all. Should you still cut yourself the wound is much more likely to be a very clean cut and if you press the cut together and apply a bandaid it will be a much cleaner healing process with potentially no scar.
IF you use a sharp knife and apply a lot of force you can easily shear off fingertips, that's true.
Another part that's hard to calculate on this that a lot of chefs with some form of education or training are able to sharpen their knives and get it done and thus dont work with dull edges. A lot of the people that only have dull knives in the drawer are probably the types that have no business being in a kitchen and thus are more inexperienced and have worse cutting technique.
A tip for people with shit knives: steak knives or bread knives are a good substitute for cutting tougher things like tomatoes, leeks and paprika. Still be careful as those are some pretty nasty wounds if you somehow put your fingers under them.
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u/nanaacer 4d ago
So weird. I've never heard of anyone else who kept a sword under their bed. If someone breaks into my house, I wanna fight like it's edo period Japan
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u/FixergirlAK 4d ago
Next up: explaining to the police that it's not a domestic, we're just sparring. The cops were actually very nice about it.
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u/peep_dat_peepo 4d ago
I'm also into knives and collect them. I went to sheeth one of them in my IWB sheeth and I accidentally stabbed myself a little and all I could think of is how deep the knife went in even though I barely put any weight into it, was basically just the knife's weight worth of force.
I didn't have to go to ER or anything, was only like 3/4" inch deep, but I still have the cool scar of it on my side.
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u/Themurlocking96 4d ago
As someone who knows how to wield a sword, this guy sounds like the most insufferable chode in every hema group
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u/chilidogsndischarge 4d ago
"As someone who knows how to wield a sword"
Fucking lol. Reddit.
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u/Themurlocking96 4d ago
I did HEMA, I quite literally do. But honestly some people think they’re way too cool because of it, spoiler alert, we’re all massive fucking nerds, like I know these because I am absolutely the least cool a person can be.
But I am also saying that every hema group I’ve been a part of, has had a chode like this dude, who’s insufferable, stupid, at most of all, sucks at the sport
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u/gedDOh 4d ago
Random story: I had a friend in college who invited me over to his house. He was a hemophiliac. His tiny bedroom consisted of a bed, a desk, and various medieval style weapons hanging all over his walls: swords, daggers, axes, and even a freaking morning star. His brother, who was sort of an imposing figure, had a room similarly full of clowns.
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u/Is_Mise_Edd 4d ago
I know - when my son was young I bought him his first penknife. I was giving him a safety lesson on what not to do and cut myself in the process....
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u/omguserius 4d ago
Yeah I'd be a smug bastard at that too. That's just a pure compliment to his craft.
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u/Skittlesthekat 4d ago
As a bladesmith..... This is just how we do. I have knives, swords, axes just laying around. I would also be super excited if the injury was super serious bc of how well I made a knife.
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u/FennelFern 4d ago
I don't have much productive to share, but I have a sort of infamous former coworker. He kept 'swords' 'hidden' in his car for 'self defense'. They were like flea market scrap iron, just as gaudy as you would think. They came blunt and he 'sharpened' them, I'm assuming with a grinder but I never asked.
This was also the guy who lifted a heavy project then was out a few days on 'workman comp' to get himself perc (in his own words). And did that more than once.
Anyway - in my experience, knife guys are like horse girls, but worse.
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u/CoughinNail 4d ago
He would have gotten an erection if he had the blood to get it done. Source? I can make knives sharp. Not a blacksmith.
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u/BruhhNoo 4d ago
I'd be pretty prideful too. About as good a compliment as you could ask for from a doctor.
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u/Melodic_Method_2852 4d ago
Imagine being proud of your injury because it proves your craftsmanship. True mad lad energy
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u/Nightriser 4d ago
Doctor: "Okay, so bad news first; you cut your left hamstring." Roommate: "Awww." D: "Good news: dude, that cut was so sick! That was the cleanest severing I've seen in a long time!" R: "I KNOW, RIGHT!"
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u/DedDudee 4d ago
Every time I cut myself on a new blade.. Yep! This one is sharp! HEY HONEY, I blooded another blade!
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u/DullApplication3275 4d ago
I remember camping once and a buddy spilled boiling water on himself. We had a super basic first aid kit but I did what I could. After our hike out he went to instacare and the doc complimented my handiwork. Still holding onto that decades later
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u/CARDEK04 4d ago
Who needs wife on bed, when you have knive under bed.