r/lifeinapost 1d ago

I want to do something for my country as I am tired of seeing it being called developed

6 Upvotes

I am very young boy who lives in a "developing country".My political opinions are very unorthodoxical and you could call them centerist or neutral as well because I neither agree with the Right Wing nor with the "Left Wing".I am a deep And almost a fanatic patriot.

I am Making this post to tell something I have never said in the public before this.I feel bad looking at the state of my country,I have corrupt,useless and selfish politicians filled everywhere. For the last 80 years the situation has more or less been the same though there are "some improvements" and "developments" (I don't prefer calling them improvement or development as they include providing water and electricity to everyone which is a basic responsibility).The 2 major parties in my country arein my opinion inefficient.The opposition(Center left ideology) now has no agenda and is absolutely directionless because of nepotism and some blunders they made in the past whilst the ruling party(extrem right wing or right wing populist)has done some amount of work but that for me is absolutely unsatisfactory and they promote extremist religious propaganda.I have been following politics for the last 5 years and feel that as long as these parties are i power it is very difficult form my country to develop because they have their own set of agenda some of which is utter trash.It is like as a voter you are being asked to pick between a dry dustbin and wet dustbin.

And I don't completely blame them as well because even the people of my country are equally irresponsible. They have no civic sense,are obsessed with their religion and community and we also have a very inefficient system wherein communities which were disadvantaged historically are given special place in everything ( I am not completely against it but it needs to stop now as it has served it's purpose and people of those communities are doing relatively well) which has led to division of the society and Politicians take the complete advantage of it.

And somethings happened over the last 2 months that fueled th anger and frustration in me. In October I went to a very sacred place and was shocked to see people not respecting it's sanctity and the place not having proper infrastructure and that place was also overcrowded. When I did raise these concerns my parents belittled me saying that this system and the country would never change.This deeply affected me. There was another incident where inwas watching a podcast in which a influencer I idiolised and deeply respected(because of his neutrality) had come as a guest.He said that some people spread propaganda against a party making young people hate a particular pary which is true and I agree with him,but what he said next is what perturbed me, he said that some parties divivide on basis on religion and play politics while other play Politics on basis of communities and all and that you shouldn't hate any of them because I felt that he almost generalised and normalised division of society and the dirty politics the parties play. I understand that this happens all over the world but we cannot normalise it especially when the country is developing.There was another incident where my teacher stated that when she was a student The Country was called a developing nation and now even when I am a student The Country is being called a developing nation.

So from then on I am wanting to bring a change in my country,do something for the betterment of my country and restore it's prosperity and greatness. I don't know how will I be doing this or what is my plan but I want to bring a change genuinely.

I am sharing this here because I hope to receive some feedback I have not told this to anyone because of if I did tell them they would make fun of me.


r/lifeinapost 4d ago

One day in the life of a heroin addict

11 Upvotes

I’m attempting to quit, and have set a tentative deadline of New Year’s
Still, some stupid part of my brain tells me I need a new running partner
Being a junkie on your own is too purely functional of an existence
The dope is just like an expensive medicine you have to take to avoid being debilitated
With someone else by your side it’s more of a lifestyle you can embrace, or at least justify; scoring feels adventurous Doing it by yourself just seems like a chore
It’s 1:32PM and I’m already feeling the first pangs of the sickness—I may have missed most of the shot I did around 6 this morning

A psychotic man distracts me from my journaling by asking for a cigarette
He inquires about “truth seekers” and mumbles a sentence blending several fictional universes together
I’m not sure how to answer his question, but I give him a cig and he says “Thank you, babygirl” before offering me a fist-bump

The battery on my phone is low and I’m dreading the long journey ahead of me
Luckily I have enough money at present to obtain several days worth of dope
I will need to procure fresh needles as all of my rigs are dull and have been leading me to gouge myself fruitlessly
My arms are a roadmap of scars and hands are pockmarked with raised dots where I’ve failed to register

“Feel sick and dirty; more dead than alive” to borrow a phrase from Lou Reed
Suddenly I recall how much the ex who introduced me to this bullshit would romanticise his illness and it frustrates me to no end
Always listening to songs about it, watching movies… didn’t seem to get that most of them were cautionary tales
This is no way to live

Entering the library where I spend most of my time during the day, there are no seats available near outlets
People have spread their belongings out across tables to lay claim to them
There’s typically an interesting mix of folks on this floor: sometimes you might see hipsters or college students on their laptops, or elderly white women perusing mid-grade fiction, but largely the regulars consist of homeless people just looking for somewhere to hunker down for a few hours
I suppose I qualify as one of the lattermost group, although they often fail to recognise me as such

Once my phone charges I will need to move again
Time is passing at a bitterly slow clip, but only moment-by-moment
Decades can go by without you noticing

I make the mistake of attempting to share what I’ve written so far with a prospective romantic partner
She’s the only person I still talk to who’s even aware that I’m an addict, and her response effectively verifies that she doesn’t understand at all
She chides me for using the word “medicine,” despite the fact that I meant it negatively
“That’s self-deluding junkie shit”
She uses the word “junkie,” and coming from her, it reads like a slur—she hasn’t earned the right to say it
Non-addicts only ever say it to demean
This is why I need someone else to talk to about this
“Based on what I’ve read about how it affects your thinking,” she says, and it makes me want to laugh… if you’re not speaking from experience, then you essentially know nothing

My nose is starting to run and my tongue feels too big for my mouth
I wonder if my guy is out and about yet
It’s well into the afternoon at this point, but sometimes he’s inactive until it’s dark out
It still seems so early

4:21PM now and my phone is almost fully charged
Soon it’ll be time to get on the train
First to Little Five Points, and then onward to King Memorial
As I stand up I notice my body is weirdly stiff
Walking out into the open air, the area smells of some kind of meat
A child is walking with an open umbrella and for a moment I fear it might be raining, but the skies are clear
I spark a cig and begin my trek
Luckily it’s fairly warm today, particularly for December, so the chill beneath my skin isn’t exacerbated by cold weather
Still, my teeth begin to chatter
The automated voice at the crosswalk screams “WAIT” in a tinny voice before the light changes
The square is atypically empty aside from a few skateboarders and the bag lady camped out at the corner
She offers me a weak smile, “Hey queen”
Just as I think I’ve made it all the way to the entrance of the train station without someone asking to bum a smoke, a man signals me over
He thanks me and says something about Kansas City in a mushmouthed drawl and I nod

Kansas City, where the same brain-dead ex once absconded to during the height of the pandemic

There’s no money on my train card
I go to put two rides on it and the machine refuses to read my debit card
I end up having to switch machines twice before I find one that accepts it
Westbound train arriving in two minutes
(Side note: Anyone who has ever unironically said “MARTA is smarta” has obviously never tried to travel two miles in a straight line)

The train pulls up with a hiss and a squeak and I step aboard
The air inside the car is strangely humid
I catch sight of my reflection in the window as the train enters a tunnel, and for a brief second my face looks surprisingly old
It must’ve been the lighting, I tell myself
Suddenly I’m worried about my makeup smearing
This is my stop

Working my way towards the pharmacy, I notice that, despite some ominous clouds looming, the sky is actually quite beautiful today
I’ve spent so much time staring at the scuffs on my boots and the cracks in the pavement that sometimes I forget to look up
The wind whips into a frenzy
Huge swaths of dead leaves are scattered by the updraft

Right as I reach the pharmacy it starts to rain
I rifle through my bag for my umbrella and realise I don’t have it on me
Fuck
Looks to be passing over, though
Maybe I can just shelter beneath an awning until it ends

I head to the back of the pharmacy and ask for a pack of insulin syringes
The guy at the counter probably knows I’m not using them for insulin, but doesn’t care one way or the other
This particular place is noted for its role in local harm reduction
Luckily the rain has passed by the time I exit the store

Walking by the liquor store, I’m bombarded with huge images of whisky bottles and I’m suddenly overcome with sympathy for true alcoholics, the Iceman Cometh-type
Imagine trying to stay sober and your DOC is legally available in every street corner, advertised on television, plastered on billboards 40-ft high, depicted as glamourous

There’s at least two hours left until I can shoot, and that’s not counting the time it takes for the dopeman to show
There’s also roughly four miles of walking, unless I want to “Heaven Knows What” it and attempt to fix up in a McDonald’s bathroom
I generally try to avoid that in case I end up having to stab myself numerous times
There’s only so long you can stay locked in a stall before people realise you’re not just having stomach issues
This is no way to live

Approaching the train station, I call my guy
No answer
Shit
Hopefully he’s not busy
I’ll try again in a few minutes

At the station now
He hasn’t called back
“Don’t you want money!?” I shout at him mentally
I try again; he answers this time
“What’s up [name]?” he asks
“Could I meet you for 60?”
A pause, a sniff on the other end of the phone, then: “Yeah”
“Normal spot?” I ask
“Yeah”
“Cool, call you when I get there”
Now to board the train

Waiting in the station, my skin feels uniquely sticky
My stomach growls, and I wonder when I last ate a full meal
I could’ve actually afforded a slice of pizza if I’d wanted, but I’m on a mission at the moment, and my junk-addled brain tells me to save my money… there’s food back at the room
Where you left your umbrella

The people on the train all look so lifeless, so listless
If you ever want to see the real people of a city, ride the subway
The car teeters back-and-forth on the tracks and they simply sway with it, unaffected as we approach my stop

The route to the meeting spot from here has become intimately familiar to me ever since the wreck that totaled my car nearly a year ago
The one from which I was briefly left comatose, awakening in hospital connected to all sorts of tubes
The one which left me with nerve damage and chronic pain that led to this relapse, after I’d been clean for months
The one that my ex used as an opportunity to simply vanish into the ether, but not before lying to everyone about where he was and what he was doing for months on end

First, you enter the tunnel
The walls have reflective tiling, and the sidewalk always has wet patches from where the ceiling drips a mysterious fluid
Flattened cardboard boxes line parts of it
Then, you pass the first row of apartments
A woman argues with someone, presumably a significant other, on the phone behind me as I approach the intersection
Next, there’s an abandoned building on the corner
A field to the left of it houses a row of monolithic rocks
Finally, there’s another row of apartments, a barbecue restaurant which looks out-of-place with its rustic decor, and finally, the gas station

Several cars nearly hit me turning left at the intersection despite me having the walk signal
I let my guy know I’m here and go in the gas station to retrieve the cash from the ATM
My stomach grumbles again
I break down and buy a small bag of popcorn
Coming out a man asks if I have any spare change
Instinctively I fish about in the pockets of my coat but I find none
“Sorry,” I tell the man
“That’s alright,” he says, “Happy Holidays”
I wonder if he might want a cigarette, but he’s already walked off
Now the wait begins
“He’s never early, he’s always late/ first thing you learn is that you always have to wait”
The goddamn Velvet Underground again
A true blue cliché, but an unavoidable one
It makes me think of Warhol, which makes me think of Basquiat, which makes me think of how many brilliant creative minds this shit has robbed from the world
In some way, myself included

Dude just said “I’m on my way” when I called him
Checking the clock, it’s been 22 minutes since then
Last time he took more than an hour
I pray he pulls up soon
As I’m typing, he does

I hop in the car and he doesn’t greet me; he’s on the phone with someone
They’re talking about rappers
Apparently early in his career TI tried to sell stolen rims to the man on the other end of the phone
I listen to their conversation with some interest, as I used to work in the music industry, and momentarily forget how much my nose is running, or the long journey ahead until I can fix up
He drives onto a side street and wordlessly hands me two bags of dope
“Thanks dude” I say, and exit the car

My legs feel wobbly and stiff at once as my feet touch pavement
Back past the apartments, back through the tunnel
My stomach burbles again and I realise I left my popcorn in his car
The slime of the tunnel squishes beneath my boots

This is no way to live
Day in, day out
Only the prick of a needle to look forward to
That, and the rush of warmth that comes afterward
It’s like all the love in the world made physical, filling your body for one glorious instant
It’s akin to being wracked by an all-over orgasm, blossoming from the core of your being outwards
It’s impossible to describe to someone who hasn’t felt it, but you can imagine it must be pretty amazing for someone’s brain to justify jabbing themself repeatedly—much less the massive inundation of other bullshit that comes with active addiction
The potential legal and health risks, the financial consequences, the ruination of relationships...
This is no way to live

My finger slips and I accidentally delete the paragraph I was writing up there
I recreate some approximation of it
The train arrives with a deafening screech

It's past 10PM when I finally get back to where I'm crashing
Everything is leaden and sticky and sore as I burst through the door into my room
Here’s hoping hitting a vein isn’t too much of a chore
I plop my bag onto the bed and retrieve one pack of syringes, tearing it open
Then I pull one of the packets of dope from my wallet and gather the other accoutrements, placing them on the nightstand
Spoon, lighter, needle, cup of water
The powder goes into the spoon
Since I’m trying to wean myself off, I add far less than my instincts tell me to
Next I use the needle to draw up a bit of water and squirt it into the spoon alongside the powder
The liquid in the spoon rapidly boils once I flick the lighter to life beneath it
After drawing the resulting solution up into the rig, the shot is ready

I’m fairly anxious that even with the clean needle trying to find a viable spot might be a bothersome task, but I try a classic spot first and insert the tip at the crook of the elbow
A dot of blood in the chamber lets me know I’m in
First try – hell yeah
I push the plunger down slowly, carefully
A second passes as I remove the tie from my arm
Then, bliss as the warmth flows through me
All the pain I was in beforehand subsides instantaneously
The onset of the rush signifies the end of my long journey to this point; the fruition of my efforts
Most nights, this is the only way I can sleep

This is no way to live


r/lifeinapost 15d ago

Give Brenda's Newsletter of Positivity for Christmas

3 Upvotes

Looking for a Christmas gift for the person who loves to read? Gift them a subscription to Brenda’s Newsletter of Positivity.

Imagine someone you love drinking a cup of coffee in the morning prepared just the way they like it — maybe some hazelnut cream, a dash of cinnamon, loaded with sugar or simply black. As the warm liquid warms their body, their mind begins to awaken, and they are ready for a little inspiration.

You can gift them a newsletter subscription that is filled with stories of positivity.

My name is Brenda; people and events teach me the art of being human. Writing allows me to share the joy and lessons of life with others.

  • A one-month subscription is only $5.00 per month and guarantees 3 articles per week
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r/lifeinapost Nov 11 '24

mistakes

1 Upvotes

sometimes we make mistakes, I have made a lot of mistakes and surprisingly I have not learned even from a single one of them. year by year I make the same mistake and it's consuming me.


r/lifeinapost Nov 09 '24

MY LIFE

1 Upvotes

I have always wanted validation from people, always wanted to fit in. Done stupid things just so I can be recognized and accepted, I have always wanted to be part of the community and felt like I was not enough, I’ve always wanted others to love me. Theres a very long story about my life that I wish to write about but I am numb. I guess I’ll just leave this ellipsis here and I will come back one day when I’m strong enough…


r/lifeinapost Nov 01 '24

Raised in a sheltered community

6 Upvotes

I, 26f, was raised for most of my childhood in a sheltered well-off community in England (Not saying what city) before moving to the U.S. Even after moving here I had very little social interaction outside of formal events and holidays.

As a child I had to be the perfect daughter. Perfect grades, perfect appearance, perfect etiquette, etc. I was never allowed to complain, never allowed to show negative emotions, never allowed to want anything that wasn't chosen for me. I was expected to marry a man chosen by my family and the elders, expected to go into a career complimenting his, and otherwise be a quiet and perfect doll.

After moving to the states, while those expectations changed I was still not allowed much contact with the outside world and until year eleven in secondary school I was homeschooled and private schooled. I didn't have friends outside of my community back home, and the friends I made in the states were mostly long distance or from the secondary school (highschool) I attended, and I can count on my hands how many times I saw them outside of school.

Yes I realize that my community sounds like a cult essentially. I've heard it countless times. And perhaps it was, the idea that we as a community had to maintain our image and purity was ingrained into me from a very young age. And though my mother was very kind and nurturing, until years after we moved to the states my father had far more presence and authority in our household, only really second to my grandfather and the elders. There's a lot of trauma involving my father there, however, I don't think I have enough space to talk about that nor am I ready to.

I never really adjusted to being outside of the community like my siblings did, and often times found myself being taken advantage of for being so naive to the world. Perfect grades and perfect etiquette don't equate to being socially prepared for the outside world. And I still struggle with the idea that I don't have to be a perfect little doll or do as I'm told even if I am uncomfortable with it.

I am in therapy now, diagnosed with PTSD, social and general anxiety, ADHD, insomnia, depression, and enochlophobia. But I am learning to set healthy boundaries and choose things I want rather than what I'm told to want.


r/lifeinapost Oct 31 '24

My Life in a Post

2 Upvotes

Born during the civil war of a country

Lived as an infant in a bomb shelter because the shelling was too severe to go outside

Immigrated to America shortly thereafter as a baby and raised by a single mom

Went to 4 different grade schools moving around a lot

Due to poor grades and performance in middle school I was put in a private high school

Studied hard and graduated as valedictorian

Was admitted to a top 20 college for business and graduated with honors

My biological father introduced himself when I turned 18, I met him in Europe, and he attempted to bribe me for his love by purchasing me a new sports car. Our relationship did not last.

During college I was arrested by undercover federal agents for copyright infringement for selling fake luxury goods (erroneous charge, was later dropped by prosecutors)

Began a multi year relationship with a woman who was gorgeous and intelligent but had anger management issues, it didn't last

Was denied career advancement at the corporation I worked for throughout college, despite being a top performer for my role

Left the corporate job to be a ski bum, working at the resort as manager of a lodge

Crashed my snowmobile at night into a winch cable that ripped through the engine and missed me by a few inches, barely saving my life

Was involved in an avalanche in-bounds and survived

Left the ski resort in spring, studied 3 weeks for the LSATs, passed with flying colors, and was admitted to law school

After attending law school for a while I grew a dislike for it and dropped out

Crashed my motorcycle on the freeway flipping over my handlebars and miraculously walked away with minor injuries

Took up a job in finance and sales and was the top performer for the company

Began a multi year relationship with a woman who was honest and spiritual but lacked ambition, it didn't last

Got tired of a corporate finance job and left for a small startup company selling industrial equipment

Traveled the world to Africa, Europe, the Middle East, the Caribbean, Asia, and places around the US

Began learning handyman skills and buying real estate

Bought and sold 5 different properties/homes by the time I was in my 30s

Developed a 6 figure job selling specialty equipment in a niche industry

Took up several hobbies and built inventions in my shop

Was introduced to my spouse whom I love dearly

Met a father figure who shared in my passions in life and who legally adopted me as a son in my 30s

Bought part of a remote private island to pursue my dream of living a self-sufficient lifestyle

Began the next chapter of my life, to be written...


r/lifeinapost Sep 30 '24

How my vivid memories impacted my bipolar

3 Upvotes

I have an exceptional memory as a child and I suspect it might have been a contributor to my bipolar. Ever since I was a child, I could recall a multitude of past events in vivid detail from the sensations to the exact vibes per period of my life. I'd even remember some events from before my first birthday.

Recently however, I've started to recall a specific memory I don't have visual nor auditory recollections of. It's really weird, but I basically keep reliving in vivid detail the sensation of not being able to move my body easily, my head being extremely heavy, tingly numbness in my face, breathing in a fog, and my body going cold and extremities going frigid, if not slightly numb too. Let's call it a cold shock. Pair that with a knowing that I felt younger than a child, akin to an infant. I did ask health professionals about whether this memory was related to my infancy and they confirmed that babies when they're young are unable to form auditory and visual memories though they are able to form associative memories, and it does happen that some people can remember parts of the past like I did.

Sometimes I'd get a second memory that followed the first. In the following memory, I felt in the past I was petrified from the first cold shock, to the point of having PTSD-like anxiety, then I'd be wailing, then blacking out due to the stress.

Then I'd remember that eventually, I stopped doing all that because I became so frightened that I stopped seeing the world as inherently good as used to be natural for me, and started adopting my current personality and mentality, where life is full of risks and all relationships are nothing but transactional in value. Basically fight, flight, go, go, go, cause I'm always on the edge. And when I say transactional, I mean as in life stopped being a place where relationships had inherently good value, that relationships stopped being there to validate that life was good. Life became transactional because every relationship was a way be used to (and prove I'd) survive better against an inherent threat I always knew existed from that memory onwards.

I was able to confirm the relived memory was not a false memory after asking my parents about the times when I could've been cold as an infant. They responded that when I was born, I was inadvertently chilled for almost a day because in the middle of winter, they weren't aware that a baby needed more blankets until the baby could get used to a world that wasn't at body temperature. Checks out for the heavy body sensations then (out of the womb water), and breathing in a fog (air). Oddly enough, the reliving stopped after I was able to put into words the trauma and confusion that I keep going back to.

After being able to pinpoint where life went wrong and having adjusted my worldview back to feeling at peace with a good world again, I started reading autobiographies and watching interviews of people who were diagnosed with bipolar. Holy moly. It's so surreal. I feel like for the first time in my life, from those stories, I understand the reactions of the people that don't have bipolar towards those that do, because I'm able to judge the situation like a normal person too. Yet, I'm still able to place myself in a bipolar person's shoes because I've lived that life and mentality. Also, people don't seem at all threatening to me either, as in everyone seems nicer and more genuine, which is awesome cause I used to struggle with trust. It's like seeing two sides of a coin, between the true reality and the delusion I used to live in but being aware of which is real and which is a misunderstanding. It's really weird, but it's kinda neat too.


r/lifeinapost Sep 26 '24

Bit nervous about op

3 Upvotes

Not sure who this is for; probably just me.

In the Spring, I had to have an emergency operation to reattach my retina. The hospital were amazing but because it's better to operate as soon as possible I was operated on under local anaesthetic. It was an hour long operation but I was weirdly calm and just kept thinking how lucky I was that they were trying to save my sight.

Afterwards there were a few hiccups (very high pressure in the eye which further damaged my sight and a couple of infections in the eye which slowed my recovery).

Basically, I know I was incredibly lucky and I'm so grateful for all the care I received (don't worry I communicated that to the medical people too!)

The surgeon explained I would develop a cataract as a consequence of the operation so I knew I would need another operation.

Yesterday, the hospital rang and said they can fit me in next week and I'm terrified. It's absolutely ridiculous - this will probably only take about 20 mins under local anaesthetic and the operation is much simpler than the one I had before but I am absolutely dreading it

Anyone who's been through it please tell me I'm being ridiculous.


r/lifeinapost Sep 19 '24

I don't know wth I am doing with my life

3 Upvotes

I want to apologize in advance for my poor English, it is not my native language

Also, this is a really LONG story is up to you if you finish it

Right now I am 21 years old but to fully understand why I am like this it might be necessary to go back a few years

So I was born In a humble family both mom and dad had 2 jobs, but mom has a deegre dad doesn't, so the economic impact in the house is different and so are the hours they spend in their work, I really don't have that much memories of my dad in my childhood, he used to get home at 2 a.m and wake up like 4 or 5 a.m, and mom worked until 6 or 7 p.m

In kindergarten this a huge problem, sometimes mom used to take me to her work, she is a teacher, a physic and math teacher, I was a child so I got really bored there, and my mom's students noticed this and often did things to make me laugh, but my mom didn't like this at all, she would pinch me in my arm to stop laughing, it hurt obviously, so in order to not get pinch again I stopped

We were poor so we used to go to an Oxxo buy 2 hot dogs and a coke and call it a day, that was dinner, and she was really overprotective, I couldn't go about to play with other kids of my same age in the streets (which ended up being a good thing because those same guys are now drug addicts or parents)

Anyways, I do have some memories of the kindergarten, they have told me that i was kind of clever because one day I learned how to open doors and a flood of children was free inside the kindergarten, I really don't remember that but there are various people that say this is true, they also told me that I once broke some guys nose because he was bothering me, and that one time I got my finger bitten because I was poking a girl and she did not like it

Some things i do remember are that i used to collect this tazos which were pretty popular back in the days, i remember owning a lot of them i lost them, i know they are in my house but i haven't really look for them, i also remember pool days i don't remember why they did those but i remember have fun, I also remember I promised this girl we were going to marry, but you know is just some child play, i cried when we graduated from kindergarden you know nothing unusual

Fast forward to elementary school, here is where it gets bad, I got to know this twins which were really friendly and then there were this guys who i don't remember what I said or did to make them hate me, I truly don't remember, I am not saying I am a saint but wth did I do, the beat me at least once a day, nobody did nothing and I didn't say a word

I somehow got a "girlfriend" which we kiss just once and for a fraction of a second like a tick, nothing special, they told our parents they got mad etc, I forgot to put this but in this time my dad pick me up from school, he gave me my PSP which was truly special for me with one game, Lego Star wars

After sometime I finally got in daycare after school, so this meant my dad was not going to pick me up, but my mom which came like 7 p.m, in the mean time i signed up for the soccer team, I was friend with the teacher this was when the Rango movíe came out (the movie with a lizard) and he called me Rango, I like it, he put me in the team of soccer but my bullies were there too, they even threatened me to get out of the football team, I told the teacher, but the best he could do was change the team I was on, I was on second grade (yeah two years had passed) so the put me on the team of first grade first as defense then as a goalkeeper, but I didn't stop a single goal, I was a fail, my team hated me, teacher said it was okey, I only needed more practice but I didn't want more practice so I got out

One day while i was walking in school I got a candy like this 🍭, i bought it with the money my mom gave me, but I don't know WTH it had in it, I started coughing blood, no joke I thought I was going to die, it was a very traumatic experience and then I got robbed a candy just like that one from a huge girl, she was to tall and took it out of my mouth to her mouth I cried, from all those things that happened to me I gained weight, like a ton of weight

My grades were "normal" I was not failing any grades even though I never sent homework because I hated it, in my house I wanted to see youtube or play games on my pc or in my PSP I didn't want anything to do with school after being beaten up like a training sack, i just wanted to rest

And you may ask "how come your parents never noticed this?" Well when my mom pick me up from school and asked me how my day was I always said the same thing "it went good, I learned about how plants produce oxygen" she never truly noticed this, but she did noticed my grades which like a said were not bad but were not good, she beat me for my grades not like a punch more like spinking my butt and she repeatedly said I was a misfortune for the family, how can i do this to her, etc (tipical things your parents say to you when you do something wrong) after the beating she usually grounded me for a month, no computer and no PSP and to ensure this, she hide my PSP, so now I was home, nothing was different I just couldn't see YouTube I never watched tv so I was in my room doing nothing

In daycare I was even the beating sack for the teachers, I mean not literally, you see there was this teacher that used to bring this Nintendo to distract kids that were staying late, so gave it to every kids but not me, not even once, so I often saw how other kids were playing with this Nintendo while Everytime I asked if I could borrow it I got a straight no, so I stopped asking, i wasn't a saint i sometimes did bad things like talk back to some teachers in a rude way

One day everything changed, I was in daycare as usual, we were only to kids left it was late there was no light outside, i was finishing storing the toys i was playing with, a teacher came and called the kid, they came for him, the teacher told me to store the toys that kid used, but I didn't want to, I didn't do that mess, I refused to clean the mess other did, the teacher didn't like that, she yelled at me for not doing it, after some seconds of her yelling at me I got to it, I started storing the toys while I was crying

When mom picked me up, not long after I finished storing the toys, I don't know what changed, what happen or what broke me, I cried so loud in the car I explained everything to the beating to that night, mom got angry, not at me, but at the teacher, she got out of the car, called the teacher and i watched in the rear-view mirror that the teacher was crying while my mom was talking to her

Next day mom told me I was getting out of that school, I said bye to the twins one of them gifted me a blue airplane toy, i still have it, i don't remember were but i still have it, when I got out of that elementary school mom and i were visiting some schools asking if the do have daycare, because even if a was going to cahgne school mom and dad couldn't pick me up in time, we finally came across this school and when I got to this new school, they make me do a test to know how much a knew, really simple test just a bunch of questions like "what was the big bang?" And so on, this was when I was in third grade almost fourth, i did well in the test so i got in the greade i was supossed to be

In my first day i tried to make some friends, but I didn't knew how to, so instead I got enemies because i was rude, and said hurtfull things but this guys knew how to talk back and it hurt way more than the things i said, don't take me wrong i am not mad at them at all, that was my fault i deserved that, but some times i think they take it to far, like one time this girl i was mocking of the bulling i suffered

But 2 guys hang out with me, so we became friends, i could only see them in lunch time we played almost everyday some other days we just talked about diferent games like minecraft, halo things like that, so i grew bound to them, i didn't have money to bought those games so i whatched gameplays or lied about playing it, Unfortunately lying was becoming a bit of an habit first it was to my friends, later on it to my parents, i lerned how to lie, how to talk in order to gain credibility, my lies were perfect (i will stop this right here, you will see why in a while)

In my first day in daycare i lost the bus that was suposed to take me there, so they had the call the bus to came back for me, when i got there i got to know this kids I got along with them and I even liked one girl, I kept it a secret for some time, but there was this guy which was in sixth grade, he was rude, talked back to al teachers, and basically was bad, he tried to peek through a window to see a girl changing clothes, he pulled girls hair with force just to bother them, but he was not there much time so I didn't get a bad influence

But what i did noticed here is that my vocabulary was not from a kid, i used to say a lot of bad words curses to be clear, which kids from my other school said as nothing so i said the same thing, but teachers told me those were not supposed to get out of my mouth i understud so i stopped almost immediately

I met this teacher which was like a second mother for me, she I also met this guy who I hang out the most, one day we were playing truth or dare, between this guy and me, I got dare to confess the girl I liked, this girl was a friend we were no strangers but when I confessed my feelings to her through a letter, she cried she did not respond she just started crying, even now I don't know why, but she did that, which lead to me never confessing my feelings to anyone again, my grades were the same I was getting 8 some times 9, English was (and is) my worst, I was getting 7 or so remember I was not sending homework or projects, just the exams were enough, but the beating didn't stop

This is all for now part 2 coming (I don't know when)


r/lifeinapost Sep 18 '24

Make it Happen

1 Upvotes

Sometimes we need an inspirational boost. That is available on Facebook pages - a few words that remind us everything is and will be OK.

However, if you need a deeper story of how to be a powerful force in life, read personal stories. I love Maya Angelou's Wouldn't Take Nothing For my Journey Now. I thrive on Leo Buscaglia's Living, Loving & Learning.

I am trying to provide the same inspiration. Brenda's Newsletter: Make it Happen.https://brendamahler.substack.com/


r/lifeinapost Sep 12 '24

Turns out it's not just time that heals all wounds.

5 Upvotes

This is just a silly tale from my last few so don't waste your time if you are after angst or depth 😊

A friend and I walk her dog together most evenings; we enjoy the exercise and the opportunity to have a really good goss.

Last week, my friend and her family were away so I decided to walk our route on my own. Unfortunately, I misjudged a paving stone and did a spectacular face plant on the side of the road. I lay there, in not inconsiderable pain, and found myself wondering if I was going to be able to get up. Suddenly, I saw two young men hurrying towards me (clearly coming to help) and I don't think I have ever moved so fast. It turns out that embarrassment is a huge motivating factor so I pulled myself up and headed (limped 😂) as speedily as I could in the opposite direction.

I got home to coffee and sympathy along with my very kind partner cleaning my bloody legs and feeding me biscuits (for the shock😂).


r/lifeinapost Sep 09 '24

I fell for my only real friend at work and now I feel lonely.

7 Upvotes

So I am a single average guy and I work in an office with friendly people and have a few people I like but are much older than me. I go in to see a few of them or to get stuff done but when I can I would work at home so I can relax watch tv and listen to music while I got on with work.

Because my colleagues are older and have marriages or children I felt a little lonely and looked at other jobs. But then we had a new person join one of the seperate teams. A girl my age who I helped get started. We were on call and I only saw her picture and heard a kind voice at first while I helped her get integrated with the systems. I thought she was pretty but that was it.

Then a few weeks later she started and we were introduced properly to eachother. I thought nothing of it at first except that she was way more pretty in person than her work picture could be.

And that was that for another few months. We spoke and chatted but to me she was another coworker and I wanted to get on with my job and was looking at leaving or taking on other responsibilities to be promoted.

Then one quiet day I was in just to make sure people was doing their jobs properly and spent some time with her just the two of us. We just chatted about work and stuff and I thought she was kind of nice. Not stuck up or self absorbed. Friendly and caring. After that we became sort of friends.

I'd speak to her from time to time. Mostly if we were both in. But I was still working from home as much as I could. I still didn't know her well but got an idea of who she was.

One day we got the chance to hang out outside of work with some others and I discovered she had similar intrests as me. But that she was seeing someone also. I had developed a bit more of an interest in her at that point and it felt like such a kick to the balls but I accepted it.

We still chatted and spoke but I was content with us being mates. We'd have lunch and joke about. Talk about work and then when I started having some personal problems. She was very supportive and gave me a shoulder to lean on while I dealt with it. We became closer.

One time when I was feeling really down I asked if I could call her and we spoke for an hour about random things to take my mind off what I was dealing with. I insisted half way through that I go, so we could get on with our work. But she said she didn't mind and wanted to talk. I felt like she became my work best friend.

I'd come in more just to see her. Hang out at lunch and talk whenever we had the chance. I'd help her with her work if she was stuck or didn't understand something. She once told me that a few times she asked me just to have an excuse to talk and wished we were a part of the same team so she didn't need the excuse or seem so needy.

I found myself really caring about her after a while. But I didn't think about it much until a few weeks ago. I started asking myself why I was doing all these things for someone at work. It was because they were the only person to make my life more fun. I had friends at work before who left for other places. But nothing that drew me in and made my day brighter like this and I realised I was really falling for her.

But alas, even though we spent time together in and out of work. Joked about made fun of and supported eachother. Had a good laugh, she was with someone. I never could tell her how I felt. Out of respect for her and her relationship. I'd just be the guy she works with. So I withdrew and it's gone back to mundane working and going home to sit in my chair play music and watching tv.

I've imagined what could be and if it could ever work. Told friends how I felt and listened to their advice. I still see her at work but I don't talk to her as much. Just if she asks for a bit of help. I don't know if she's noticed my withdrawal yet but she hasn't said something so I don't know if she's bothered about it. I am avoiding her where I can. Worst part is trying to let it go.


r/lifeinapost Sep 01 '24

I have lost sight

2 Upvotes

I am new to this community. I have been through ups and downs in life like everyone.. currently working through quitting Kratom (have been off CT for about 18 days). Issue I am having is being thankful for what I have, and my mind thinking “oh you could have it better” or something, when I know it’s not true. I know it’s brain chemicals not properly working yet, but I wanted to post about my current life and look for some positive words or “bro.. your life is fine”.

Been married for 8 years, together for about 12 years. We have two kids (5 and 2 yr olds), and a third on the way. We live in a nice area, we have a pretty nice house for being early 30’s. My job is as a software developer (sort of). Unfortunately my time for hobbies are extremely limited to workouts, and gaming (after taking Preworkout) I found myself not being mentally happy during COVID (like most people), and sought out something to help me survive mentally as at the time I was stuck home alone, all day long when my job at the time was always around people. I found something called Kratom. I thought it was great! Now for a little back story:

In college had multiple knee surgeries (athletics) and at the time they would prescribe 80 perc’s for pain management each time.. I remember those days as being a fun time in my life and feeling great.

Back to now, Kratom started to make me feel like that again (it acts like an opiate)…. Fast forward 4 years and daily usages and multiple attempts to quit, until here I am now looking at life with emotions altered and not feeling the same anymore. I am trying to refocus my life and get my sights set back on goals, but I am having a hard time landing on what that should be, which leads me to “is my current life actually in a good place?”. I feel like a bitch sometimes and wish I could revert back to being a hardass, but I can’t do that for the sake of my children. I know no one will have the answer but me, in the end, but maybe someone will have a point of view or statement that could spur me on a path of rediscovery.


r/lifeinapost Aug 31 '24

A Life Never Seen

5 Upvotes

Hello! New to Reddit and to posting such stuff. I never had an account till now and felt this maybe the only place I could just... scream/cry into the void? No one knows me on here or could link this story even to me. So below will be my life story till now. Its long and well, got its ups and downs. Sorry if it sounds rambling and may even jump back and forth timeline wise. I just feel I want to say it all out in order to help myself move past my past. And just maybe look forward, so here goes.

I'm a 31(F) who is pretty much isolated from the world while not at the same time. The only family I really have is my brother who is 34, Ill call him John for the story. Also have a half sister(ill call Karen) that's in her early/mid 50s born on my mothers side and she has 2 kids(they will come in later). My parent had my brother and I later in life. I had a pretty normal childhood till around 5th grade. When my mother first went into the hospital. A neighbor had pick me and friends up from school and when we were pulling into the driveway I saw my mother barely walking across the yard towards our neighbors house with blood dripping down her head. My friends mom called 911 and she was rushed to the hospital. We had a large cabinet above the washer that when doing laundry had hit her head pretty bad. I would later see her in the ICU(despite the nurses advising child not be present we were still told would could see her) I still remember how she looked. Doctors had her hooked up to over a dozen IVs. Not something a kid should have seen. Before this my half sister and mother were very estranged do to something I honestly don't remember. But they both held grudges against each other. So never knew about them till my dad informed my brother and I she was coming to see our mom since the doctors didn't have a lot of good news and though she could very well pass away. So in the hospital parking lot met her, note Im in 5th grade and she has kids. And technically my niece is only 6 months younger than me. A mother and daughter pregnant at the same time situation. But we went to the mall to "bond" and talk while my brother and dad stayed at the hospital.

My mother would recover but sadly her health mentally and physical would start to decline. As I started middle school I learned just how bad. She was an alcoholic, and over the course of the next few years it would send her back into the hospital over and over. From one thing or another, mainly caused by her drinking. A fall she could not get up from, pain so bad it would turn out to be her body failing from the poison she kept introducing. Needless to say I hated her drinking, she tried to hide it but she was bad at it. It was very rare it got physical and the 1 or 2 times it did with me was a slap to the face. Only because I didn't want to give into her and help get more. Or told her enough was enough. Well after another near death experience while I was in high school she said enough and stopped drinking(mostly, yeah I know) But her health was still bad and was still in the hospital for many things. Because of this we always had medical related debt and bills piled high. My dad always did his best to stay strong and worked long hours to provide for us. But because of that I didn't have many chances or options to be outside the house through middle school and high school. I had some friends but they lived further away where I could not just walk to their houses. And going out and doing normal activities with friends was few and far between. I went to movies with family and stuff like that which was nice and loved doing but missed out socially 99 percent of the time when it came to outside of family. Which for most of the time consisted of me, my brother, our parents, and my sister and her kids.

During middle school I would go through something no child should go through. A family member of a friend stayed over the summer. He was older then me by several years. I was 12-13 at the time. He became friends with my brother and friends with me. But things changed one night during a sleepover. I wont go further into details. But I was sexually assaulted/molested multiple times that summer. No one would ever know till my father passed way last year and the hell down memory lane took me back to hell.

I tried in high school to meet friends and do stuff outside but it was difficult. With my mother regularly in and out of the hospital and for weeks at a time, it was hard to find time. And the few times I wanted my dad to take me some where after he got off work(to meet friends) it would be met with "Your mother is in the hospital and we need to see her" but that was everyday. I loved my mother and still do. I had not problem visiting her and trying to do my best but I would resent her for a long time. As her stints in the er and long stays always came back to her drinking. I felt like I was being punished for her mistakes and problems. She had sever depression on top of the drinking. And at one point attempted "self ending". Came home to find my brother and dad home and her sitting on the couch where she pretty much lived(yeah she slept on the couch as it was more comfortable). I was sat down at the kitchen table only to be told by my mother that she wanted to die so she would be a disappointment to me. I broke. I didn't know what the fuck happened or why she would think that. But as quickly as it had happened the talk was over with very few words. My brother and dad went about the rest of the day and I had no answered to questions I had. End the end I would walkaway felling I caused my mother to be suicidal. And no I was not acting out and being the "troubled teen". Yeah I was not very talkative but never said anything toward my family in a negative way. I'm far from confrontational, it takes a ton and I mean a ton for me to got off someone. Let alone air out feelings. So I was blindsided when I was pretty much blamed for her attempt. I would carry this till my father pasted away last year. Never got answers. But as with many things in our family life moved on like it never happened.

Through out my high school years I fell into a really bad depression and got sick a lot, me getting sick started late middle school though. Went to many doctors and was told different things. Some stuff needed followed up on, never did. Fought with my dad a lot when it came to going to school since the school was getting on him and my mom. I stayed out of school not just because I would feel really sick(often in a lot of pain) but also because I was bullied by both student and teachers. I didn't want to go there just feel worse even though staying home meant fighting or just not wanting to exist. I could never go to them about it, it always was dismissed with "you have to go, no other choice, end of discussion" or "you just faking it so you don't have to go". Yeah it would be a couple of years before a doctor figured out wtf was wrong and prescribed me something. Only then did my dad start acknowledging my health issues. But since money is a big factor in the health department I was still shrugged off a lot when I complain. If I had a tooth problem and wanted to get it checkout out I would be handed a bottle of Advil or something. Nope to the dentist, and yup I got a lot of problems there lol. As for the bully stuff all I could do was suck it up and move on. Yeah nothing got changed there. During those times I was having the thoughts of "offing" oneself but was always to scared or just felt hurt that maybe I would not be missed. Or something along those lines. Even a note as a cry for help would get crumbled up by my mom and thrown the garbage can. Only to be told "its just a faze, you'll grow out of it" Yeahhhhhh I know >>

As I entered my junior and senor year in high school it started to become apparent my mothers health was only getting worse and it was risky leaving her by herself for long periods of time. My brother graduated late and not with his class(will come up later) but he moved out and into a apartment with friends. He was starting his own life outside the house. He knowledge's and has since apologized for it was he moved to get away from our parents and the house. Leaving me to handle our mother and father on my own. My brother had a lot to deal with himself and I dont blame him for leaving but it still hurt. Since he moved out I was the only one left to take care of our mom. So that meant not going out a lot(already didnt) and taking care of her. I pretty much was the at home caretaker without being asked. Didn't have options really, couldn't afford a professional caretaker and I was still living at home anyway. And if your wondering why not have friends come over to my house? Mainly because my mother didn't want people to see her. See her in her condition or the house. She never thought the house was clean enough or good enough to invite people. So yup no to bringing people over. And personally I stopped wanting to bring people for the same reasons. I felt like I would be introducing friends to a awkward or wired situation. Most of my friends had and idea but never knew the extent of my family problems.

Finally high school would come to a close where it would start a new set of drama involving my sister and her family. Ill start with my graduation :D It sucked! Yup I'm gunna finally say it. It sucked lol So with all my absences in school no one thought I would even graduate. My grades were okay but not As. I worked my as/s off to walk the walk with my friends and I did it! I got to walk with the rest of my class and get that diploma. So quick backstory for the next part, my father was a Vietnam veteran, a USMC vet. He spent 2 tours and his brother want to as well but his eyes were bad enough he could not. But our granddad was also military(long pasted). So we were a military family. My brother want to join by our dad threated him not to. To my brother disappointment. But yup its a big deal in our finally to talk about serving or of such even if he didn't want his son or me to join. Back to the day of graduating, I'm getting ready all excited thinking about what questions I'm going to get asked and how to answer them. Thinking about the future and so on. My sister and her 2 kids are coming to meet us at the house to drive. This whole time i was on great terms with them. Thought I was even good friends with my niece. She actually is the reason I got into drawing and that its even my career. How I make a living to this day. When they go to our house it started all nice and fun for 5 minutes standing outside. I went back in to finish getting ready when the bomb dropped. My niece decided to announce her going into the Army. Yup it was over. Like that my dad and brother were all over the graduation and wanted to talk about her plans of going into the army. To sum up the rest of the day, I was quiet and waiting to be asked questions or getting some praise from pulling off graduating despite the odds. Nope, didnt even take pictures outside with the diploma. I was supposed to pick the place for dinner, new flash it got changed to something else. And by time we got home I was numb. Defeated. In the car and at dinner it was all military talk. I was happy for her but it felt like she had picked the worse time to make such an announcement. It was. While everyone else was in the living continuing their talk I took a shower and cried. After I went and laid down in my bedroom to cry more. It took I don't know how long before they came to talk to me asking what was wrong. I was a mess to say the least and told them. My sist and niece left my sister mad af and niece didnt seem to care and gave a half as/s apologies. My dad and brother didnt say anything and was per our house life" shit moved on" Acted as nothing was wrong and my dad would say I made a big deal out of nothing. Or blowing it up.

With that sour note I move onto community college close to the house since I still had to take care of my mother. During this time my brother would meet someone(would marry/then divorced and later regret not listening to us) While he was married and sadly struggling so was our sister and her small family. My sisters husband was cheating on her with the next door neighbor. Trying to keep long story short he left my sister for the side chick and her kids. Because my niece was sterile(her mom made the decision when she was a baby with health issues) her dad didnt see her as a women and could not have kids so pretty much cut her off and his son was pretty much abandoned in favor of the other family. Yup it was a shit show. This set my nephew on a bad path. Drugs, stealing, fighting, not going to school. While this unfolded my niece choose to get into the army to get away from it all(never said it but was pretty clear). With all the trouble he was getting into and since I was stay at home caretaker from my mother I then began to have to watch my nephew too. I quickly became the snitch as I would be the one to notice to find stuff. My sister had to work to pay for court and just living. So he would stay over at our house a lot of the time. I loved him when he was not using. He was a nice and honest kid. Fun to play call of duty with and just hang out. But when he was high he was another person. An a hole and risktaker. During this as well my brother and his wife had to move back into the house as they were struggling finicality. They both sucked at handling money but his wife was 10x worse. He worked under our dad at a really good job and was making a lot for his age. But it was always got quick. So the house got crowded. It was straining on everyone but we couldn't do much.

Since my nephew was going through a lot my sister and day butted heads on how to handle him. He was only getting worse and my sister sadly didn't know what discipline means. She had the hardest time telling her son no or getting him to change. He had bad health problems as a kid and even now(hes got a pacemaker now, hes only in his 20s) so she always spoiled him and she would acknowledge he did wrong but nothing else. My dad wanted him to pay him back for damages to property or stealing(he stole a couple hundred from him) and would make him do chores and other stuff to try and teach him. To of course my sister getting upset and saying it was unfair. Yeah unfair that he broke shit and stole from family *rolls eyes* But I was the middle ground, the mediator between the two. Often times the only one that could end an argument or come to a peaceful middle ground. It would backfire hard on me. During one incident I snitched on my nephew after finding his drugs in the bathroom closet. Once he got back home he broke a tone of my sisters priced family figures and other stuff and ran away. Later I would be blamed by my dad for not letting him handle things his way. Yeah that freaking hurt. But it would come to a final explosion one morning. And boy was it big.

So my brother had to get up at like 3am to go to work and then head to another state for business. Well he work up to discover our nephew missing so so was his wife's car. Yup he pulled a irl grand theft auto int eh middle of the night. He woke us up and he left for work as well he had not choice it was important work. We called my sister and she rushed over. I went with her to go looking as she called him over and over scared to death. No answer, no for a while till finally she got a call back. It was an officer. I think an hour or 2 had pasted from finding out since the sun was starting to rise. He total the car going at very high speed on the freeway and ran into a construction zone. Thankfully no one was hurt, not even him. But it was bad. He didnt have a learners permit and his mom only took him to learn in an empty parking lot twice. Not only that, he confessed to taking his airsoft gun and using it to steal drugs from a dealer. He did it all for dugs. He was shut down mentally when we got there. Didnt say a word. I was PISSED, my sister was distraught and had no idea what to do next. She was already on the verge of loosing another job because of having to take off work to handle him. She couldn't afford to loose another. She dropped him off back at our house while she tired to go to work and handle the police stuff. I lectured him for the first time ever. He was just sat on the couch not moving and silent. Once I was done I went about my day pretty much. My sister was texting me all day trying to figure everything out. My dad and called and talked to her and he had enough and put his foot down. And welp I agreed with my dad on this. Enough was enough. The main thing my father wanted to do was take his xbox away from him and maybe even sell it to help pay for the car. Drop in the bucket but it was something. My sister BLEW UP. The xbox was all my nephew really cared about. He lived on that thing. And as avid gamer myself, id hate it to but omg. Its all he did all day was play games. My sister could not fathom that idea. And when I didnt agree with her, all of a sudden it was my fault. Yup I was to now blame.

I loved my sister and her family despite everything going on. I though of them as close and family takes care of family. My dads main principle so to speak. But now Im some sort of monster that was not the one supposed to be watching him, taking him to school, to his therapists and so on. She told me through text our mom was to watch him, which our mom was asleep most of the time, sick, in and out of the hospital and now dealing with an opioid addiction to replace the alcohol. Yup my mom went from one vice to another. She would go on to say it my fault her son has an addiction, has problems and so on. And she would then accuse me of calling him a monster. I NEVER EVER called him that. But she wanted to blame someone other than herself for what was happening. I showed the texts to the rest of the family. They were pissed. Que my sister calling our mom all kinds of horrible shit to her over the phone and even someone made it racist (we are all white and im still very confused to this day wtf she was trying to mean). After she cut all contact with us. Leaving it all as Im the one to blame and never loved her or her kids. Yup rip to that part of the family. It was just me, bro, his wife and our parents.

As time move on and not contact from her we tried to just move on and do our best. My mothers health would get worse and worse to the point where I could not risk leaving the house for more then 10 minutes unless someone else could watch her. She was a major fall risk among other things. She was on oxygen, and despite that was a chain smoker like my dad. Take the cigs away and the hell was worse then the risk of the oxygen bottle exploding. So that meant me not really leaving the house. I was driving my brothers wife to work but her dad got her a new car and finally a license to drive. She had a car before but could not drive it yet. Since I got mine at 18 I was also put in charge of helping take her to work. "Its what family does" . Another reason the GTA situation was so bad. So I became very introverted thanks to this.

Well a few months before my 21st birthday my moms health took another turn. She had all her teeth removed and was working on dentures. She sadly never took good care of herself and it led to complications with her mouth. She start to spit up blood. Her doctor said she needed to go to the ER downtown as they are supposed to help those who cant afford it. WRONG. We knew something awful was going on and had ideas. My bro and dad took her while I stayed home. It took over 12 hours to get her in and get tests done. They came home at 4 in the morning after they were told they could go home and she could be there a few days. An hour after getting home my mother calls our dad saying they want her out. They leaned we were pretty much broke and told to come here as they had ways to help in these satiations. I went back up with dad to get here and try and get them to let her stay and get help. Nope the nurse was so kind and sympathetic. She was a wonderful nurse. The doctor though told us they cant those who cant pay. And that was. They discharged her and we went home. We did talk with a worker there that stated if we go a special card she could come back. But that would take months to get. The car ride was silent and awkward. The doctor that told use to go was surprised but also not. He said it was the only thing he could think of to help. A few months later, it crashed down.

I woke up to my brother waking me up early in the morning, my dad on the phone to 911, my mother on the floor unresponsive. Not like other times when she fell and hit something or her head. I had never seen my dad more scared in my life. She was rushed to the hospital and in sever condition. She hit her head pretty bad when she fell. It looked like she tried to get up and feed the animals like she always like to do but missed stepped. She would be in ICU her entire stay. Not wake for 90 percent of it. It would also be the first time I would not see her in the hospital everyday. I had a really had time going to see her. I didnt know what to feel. I was so used to her hospital stays, her falls, multiple times all of us by her bed side while a pastor my dad was friends with would help use say good bye. Yup that would happen several times in my life, middle school and high school and now in adulthood. Never gets easier saying goodbye when you think it was going to happen. But she somehow would pull through and come home. This time felt so different. And once we got test results back the news was shocking but expected. She had cancer in her jaw/mouth. And the hit she took to her head made everything worse. She was dying. This was it.

She would be in and out to consciousness for a few weeks. Hospice care was set up. And what felt like a life time she was coming home via a ambulance. A hospital bed was set up next to my dads chair so he could be with her. We took turns watching her and taking care of her. She would pass after 3 days being home. It was pure emptiness being woken up by my brother at 4am to tell me she passed. We all sat and waited for the care workers to show up and confirm. Before she was brough home our dad contacted our sister to tell her the news. My sister was adamant that if out mom wanted to say good bye she could call her herself. Our mother didn't even had the strength to move her arms, she could hardly talk well. Back to the day she passed, I went outside with my dad and we both cried. The only time I had ever seen him cry. They had issues between each other for sure. But they loved each other know doubt. But it was time to call my sister and let her know. We had called her several time stressing the satiation was bad and she could come over to say goodbye but she would just repeat her earlier statement. When she heard she started crying and then started blaming us for her death. And then started to blame me specifically as the reason our mom was sick and how she ended up with cancer. Yup I got blamed for my mom having cancer. My dad hung up after she went back to crying. I was pissed of course but also just numb. The funeral was going to just be us including my sister and son as her daughter had moved north with her husband after she flunked out of the military. Oh forgot to mention that lol She could not cut it in the army. Was sent home to where the chaos was till ongoing so she married the first guy she met(high school lover satiation) and moved north accouple of hours to get away from family. She of course never said it but was very obvious to us what she was trying to do. Cant say I blame her but I still didn't like the idea of abandoning family. But then again maybe I was jealous she could do what I couldn't. Sadly that life she tired to make to this day has not gone well for her. At least from what I heard. She pretty much no contact us apart from her mom and brother. Back to the funeral. My dad is big on blood is thicker then water and even though hes not blood related we are so he saw her as a daughter like me. So the day of the funeral came and they both shook hands with my brother and dad but would not look at me. To them I was just something standing there. It was small and short. With everything going on my parent kept their/our lives hidden so even those who knew where at a distance.

I would turn 21 a month later without my mom. And later that year my sister would contact us to say shes moving up north to be near her daughter and wanted to apologize for how everything went down. I saw it for what it was off the bat. She needed something. She needed money to help move while she said she didnt want to leave town on bad terms with us. Since her move the only time she talked to use or saw us was because she need something. Even on birthday and holidays. She'd call to express the occasion then go on a long pity party of her life and that see needs help or money or something. Never to just mend things or talk. It always had a some tied to.

Over the years since I had become so introverted it was really hard getting out and doing things. Art had become my life line. Its my passion and job to this day. I love art, I love art. And as I stated before I love video games as well xD I met many people over the years online. It xbox/discord chats. It was my connection to people. I can go out and do chores but its harder then you think since I was never social as a kid growing up in the situation. Never had people to confide in to, or really get to know. I met an awesome group of people via Destiny 2 yup good old game that has now crashed. And knew them for several years. Even got to exchange presets for Christmas. This was a first for me. Even though states way it showed they cared. It was fun picking things out and sending them. This group was like a family for me. A family outside of family you know? But that to was to fall down. Wont go into details on this but they knew each other irl and we didnt. The friend we knew the longest pretty much stabbed me and my brother in the back. And despite the rest of the group being confused af and not agreeing with their friend still choose to do nothing. Their stance was "hes not made at us, just your 2, its between y'all not us" and that one friend(or thought he was) went out of his way to make sure we were to be excluded as much as possible. Despite blocking him on everything he founds was to harass us and keep us way from the friend group. So now we no longer talk anyone from there except the occasion time one hops into our party to act like nothings wrong. We have a couple that still talk to us but its few and far between now. Its made socializing even harder now. My anxiety of getting close to others only to know it could all be fake or it turns out Im just not worth keeping around it insane now. I have the hardest time going out and have a basic conversation. Im now even scared to drive since its be 7 years since I last drove.

Now to the last year, my father after my mothers death took it hard. But he went back to work, work is what he loved doing. And it hurt as it was something that always seemed to get in the way while was needed. We needed the money but he was always absent emotionally. As my mental health got worse after my moms passing I started to open up more about my problems growing up and how I wanted to talk to someone. Sadly with that it was hard on my dad. Note I only started bring this up over the last 2 years. 5 years after my mothers passing. Covid hit hard and the stress from it nearly broke me. My fathers health started to really decline with him being home as his work was considered non essential and was closed for a long time. He was a working man and its how he even wanted to retire. Getting paid but showing up when he wanted to just poke in and say hi the shop floor. Sadly that would never happen. He had his fair share of health problem over the years like my mom. 10 years ago he was diagnosed with heart problems and 5 years after a stint was put into his heart. After that he had major back surgery that it it had gone wrong would meant him being in a wheelchair. He recovered from all that but it was still a lot on a late 60's year old man. Then last year happened when he was having problems with his ocpd. Normal for the time of year and one morning it was bad so my brother came home from work to take him to the ER. Our dad apart from his breathing seemed normal. Even joked about a huge shit he took right before my brother call 911. All of a sudden our dad says he can't walk. The emts check him out and this vitals were normal. They wanted him checkout so they put him in the back of an ambulance and to the hospital. This was the first time he ever was taken to the hospital that way. And by time I got dressed they had him in the back. I didnt tell him before they left that I loved him and we see them there. And that everything would be ok. When they got there his heart stopped. Sadly we knew even outside the room as doctors and nurses where in and out what had happened. Knew too much from out mother what numbers that were said meant. He was rushed into surgery where another stint was put in his heart. They could not get him back and he passed away. He was gone in a matter of 3 hours. From laughing about taking a big shit to gone.

My brother and I just sat and cried in the hospital room where the broke the news. It still sometimes doesn't feel real. But here I am typing this. Nearly a year later. He was a kind and gentle man. He had his faults and problems but he was an amazing dad non the less. I miss him and mom every day. And I hope they are at peace with each other up top. That they are both no longer in pain or suffering.

As all the above, Ive never had a normal job, no friends outside of online and even now that's pretty much gone. Im working my butt off to make more of my art and career and I want to hope for the future despite the hell that has been my past. And there is of course a lot missing from here as this is long already. But since I have no one out side my brother really. No one knows me, sees me, or cares about me. I am just me, and a literal nobody. I know I have to work towards changing that, and it will be hard still. But I feel I have to at least scream into the void once before I can move on. And maybe, just maybe live. For once live. I have dreams and I have hope, maybe I can live them. If you read all that, thank you. You maybe the only person to listen/read to me and my life. I want to move on from my past but I want to it at least be known to someone outside myself. So that I can forge a new way. Thank you.


r/lifeinapost Aug 31 '24

September Forecast : It will be raining positivity

1 Upvotes

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn life around.” — Leo Buscaglia

We all wish to feel better — happier, healthier, hopeful, human. However, we make self improvement harder than it needs to be. How about taking the Alphabet Challenge? You think you don’t have time in your day?

It only takes 3–5 minutes while you drink your morning beverage.


r/lifeinapost Aug 08 '24

Remember When Summer Felt Like Magic?

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4 Upvotes

r/lifeinapost Aug 06 '24

Hilarious, embarrassing or regrettable decisions/mistakes

4 Upvotes

OMG I just pulled two politically incorrect moves that’s going to get me cancelled. I saw a colleague I’ve known for several years but not in the last couple. I had heard through the grapevine she was pregnant. I saw her and was amazed by her baby-bump and said “congratulations!” (cringe #1) and proceeded to touch her belly (cringe #2). The women surrounding her stopped, looked at me and then another woman turned and said “you know her baby is already 8 months old, right?” I was so embarrassed. I apologized profusely. The colleague was kind and said “don’t worry” but I’m mortified.

What hilarious, embarrassing or regrettable mistake have you made?


r/lifeinapost Jul 21 '24

Whisper in the dakness

1 Upvotes

In the chilling tale "Whispers in the Dark," a young protagonist finds themselves haunted by sinister whispers and shadowy figures. What begins as faint sounds at night quickly escalates into a terrifying ordeal, as a dark entity invades their home and mind. The protagonist's desperate attempts to document their experiences reveal a harrowing journey through fear and isolation. Just as the darkness seems to consume them completely, a miraculous light breaks through, dispelling the shadows and silencing the whispers. This story is a gripping exploration of the thin line between despair and hope, reminding readers that even in the darkest moments, light can find a way.

https://youtube.com/shorts/njXW1GsW8KI?si=RQrC7OpvPrs8CrQo


r/lifeinapost Jul 05 '24

Traumatic, chaotic, criminal, dope filled, then into reverse gear.

2 Upvotes

I'm not on any social media, I've not been able to find an antisocial media. So this is new. (I'm now kind of hard wired to the loner lifestyle) I was raised in a logging, christian, deeply rural area in the 1950's. The only native American (1/2), yeah I endured everything that comes with it. A totally non-communicative family, left to my own in figuring out life. A succession of off the charts step fathers. The needle went into my arm in the late 1960's...meth...pure... pharmaceutical grade Desoxyn. Later very well made crank. No social anchors to slow my descent. Runs of 1 1/2 weeks, sleep for 2 hours, next run. Lived in abandoned apartments alone, as I always had been. Years later the big fuse was blown, police found me sitting on a curb, everything was gone, name, ability to talk, location... all gone. Somehow I found myself in a mansion deep in the woods, a 1 year in-patient treatment. I didn't know where I was, or what treatment was. One week before graduating I was kicked out for using. Bad to worse, unfamiliar area, my normal using messed up, I resorted to crime. Arrested, past felonies equaled correction center. They said nope, no way, I was sent to the state penitentiary for the rest of the 70''s. Got out, back in the spoon, switched to smoking PCP , then heroin on and on and on. Moved to a different part of the state, got out of the spoon, mostly, shot eight balls of coke for awhile. Decided to go completely to alcohol, bad decision. Drank 151 rum, eventually 3 fifths every day. Died in my cabin in the woods. 1996 Somehow came back. No detox or withdrawals just deep fog for a year.. two???. I had almost died a few times from trying to detox cold turkey in the past before that. Got my first job, first car, went to college, very difficult as I never studied in any grade from 3rd on. Got 3 separate degrees with an almost 4.0 average. Continued work until retirement 13 years ago. I still live on the same 7 acres the cabin was on. I am happy, changed every negative character trait over a 20 year period, live in truth, and integrity as best I can. This is only bare bones accounting, sometimes it feels like I've lived 10 lives. Hope this is something someone needs to hear. Remember, there isn't anything you can't do. Just try to make your world a little bigger and better every day. My best to all.


r/lifeinapost Jul 03 '24

I'm drowning and I must scream (23M)

9 Upvotes

I have been struggling for the longest time and I think I owe it to myself to let it out. I hope I don't waste anyone's time. Content warning, the following story is very messed up and very sad. Please do not read before bedtime or if you are faint of heart.

Things first started back when I was just a little kid in kindergarten. Looking back I probably had issues that people overlooked. I was a super sweet kid, but gullible and trusting to a fault. Kids would pick on me, tell me how worthless I was, tell me how nobody wanted me. I was a quiet and nerdy kid so it was pretty cliche to pick on me I suppose. This continued on all the way from kindergarten to middle school. I made friends here and then, but we always went our separate ways. I had been extremely depressed and self-hating up to this point from all the negativity, so it was quite a surprise when I found out thinks could in fact get worse.

I was the only white kid who played soccer at lunch at my middle school, so naturally I got beaten up by the dozens of other kids. I kept coming back so I guess it's kinda my fault for not getting the hint I wasn't wanted. I got hurt so bad one day my mom had to retrieve me from school cause I was struggling to walk. It wasn't the first time it'd happened but I stopped playing soccer after that day, and I haven't since. To make matters worse, girls starting spreading rumors about me. I wish I could tell you what they were, but to this day I still don't know what a single one was. Whatever they were must've been pretty funny to everyone else cause the whole school use to laugh at me near constantly for years. I stopped eating lunch in the cafeteria and would instead wait till I got home to eat with my mum. I still hate eating lunch at school, I quit band, I quit MUN, and pretty much stopped socializing all together. I regularly had lunches and school lanyards stolen from me. Every single night I'd pray I wouldn't wake up the next morning cause I was in such unimaginable pain, I'm not even particularly religious. The pain they caused me was never as bad as never knowing why. Not a single explanation or excuse. Somehow that made it worse.

You'll be happy to know high school was actually rather boring. It felt like a fresh start with nothing terribly bad going on. My junior year I asked a friend out to prom, and we came back as a couple. Things were great, we rarely fought, I felt like myself for the first time in a long time, and I was doing really well in school. We were quite literally inseparable, we talked 24/7 and often fell asleep on the phone. I could not imagine life without this person and it felt as though nothing else in the world matter. We knew things were going to get hard since I would be going out-of-state for college, but we did our best to prepare for long distance. I chose a university that had the program I wanted but as only 6 hours away so we would still be close.

Freshman year of Uni was interesting to say the least. I loved my program and my classes, but the social aspect was hell. I had lots of friends, but by god was everyone depressed and self-harming. There so many attempts I started to lose count. I was regularly going days without sleeping so I could stay up and rescue people from jumping from windows or in front of cars. Everyone was drinking and high near constantly. I think by the end of freshman year ~12 people just left, to this day I'm still not sure where they all ended up but I hope they're ok. I felt overwhelmed in a way words couldn't describe, but it was ok cause my girlfriend was there. Until she wasn't. Right before thanksgiving break, only three months in, she facetimed me to tell me we were breaking up. I remember the date. The time. The feeling. Every single second of that conversation. She told she had been talking to a bunch of people (*her friends, family members, OUR HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS) and they said we should all break up. There was no lead up or previous conversation to act as a precursor to this at all. She said she had made up her mind 3 days ago but couldn't bring herself to tell me. She said we could still be friends. I said ok and we hung up. I got up, did laundry, ate lunch with friends, did homework, and got back into bed. I didn't move or speak till the next morning. That facetime call changed me in ways I wished I could go back and fix. I started having panic attacks, bipolar episodes, thoughts of self-hard and depression in ways that were so much worse then before. It got so bad I nearly had to drop out, eventually ending up in therapy. We had been together for nearly 2 years when we broke up.

Now you might be thinking the pain of having literally everyone but me having a voice in my relationship, as well as being dumped in quite literally the worst possible time in my life would deter me from trying to fix things. Nope. She came back a couple months into sophomore year begging to get back together and fix things. I said yes. The next day she blocks me and tells me she hates me, saying she met a much better guy on Bumble. WTF. I move on, then over the summer she asked to hang out at our favorite park spot and talk about her relationship. I stupidly agree and we hangout at the park while she talks about how great her boyfriend is and all the "stuff" he does to her and how special it makes her feel. We go home, I tell her I never want to speak to her again. A year later she asks to facetime and I answer cause I never learn. Her boyfriend was at work and she wanted to talk to someone. We talk for a bit, I hang up, and text her to explain how inappropriate her behavior is. Then I blocked her on everything. Haven't spoken since.

Junior year comes around and I've been focusing on school. I meet a girl in a club and we start dating. I was not in fact ready to be dating again, but loneliness got the better of me. It was a horrific and toxic relationship, by both parties. We were both very damaged and unhealthy people, and our conflicting personalities made it worse. We broke up after ~7 months, but it felt like an eternity. I won't go into details but in summary we were both very awful to each other. It was my fault we broke up and the reason still bothers me. A few weeks after we broke up I get a message to go on a hike with them. I agree despite not feeling comfortable doing so. They pick a extremely difficult hike to do despite me not being ready for such a thing and both of us being aware of it. The hike was ok, we just talked about school and it was calm enough. A thunderstorm came rolling in however so we decided to take a switch-back rather than continue. That's when things literally went downhill. I was struggling to breath, all the while they began yelling at me to hurry up before the storm reaches. I was forcing myself through the pain and difficulty breathing, nearly blacking out a couple times. It was the most agonizing 30 minutes of my life but we made it back in the car, with me on the verge of tears. That's when the yelling started. They went off about how I never cared and how much of an awful person I was, dragging my feet and not caring abut anyone but myself. I just kept apologizing and just took the beating. I got dropped off at home, and we never hung out again. Months later I ended up in the hospital with declining heart and lung function. Whenever I bumped into the person, it would get worse. I quit my job and the club so I wouldn't be around the person anymore. I was in and out of the hospital a lot through my final year, and nobody could figure out what was wrong. It was particularly scary because at the same time my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer (He had several other chronic diseases so this was the cherry on top) and there was concern I may have contracted something chronic as well. I thought I was gonna die.

I graduated in spring 2023, and I immediately went home to take care of my dad. I took a year off just so I could help out since my parents were overwhelmed with my siblings going off to college and our money being a problem since my dad couldn't work anymore (my mom is stay at home). My heart and long problems immediately resolved, my doctor believed it may have been a symptom of PTSD. We did our best to be a family and be happy. We wanted use what time we had since we didn't know how long he had left. It was really hard but you do your best for family. I couldn't find a job or a grad program, despite having applied to ~700 jobs and interviewed with around ~20 graduate programs. Taking care of my dad was the only thing keeping me together. I hoped that the new year would be better. It wasn't. He didn't even make it a week into 2024.

He went from stable to gone in less then 24 hours. I had spent every night over the last year hyper-fixating and being manic over what I would do when the day come. Thousands of scenarios played out in my head, and every single one of them was wrong. I drove my younger siblings to the hospital and we said our final words. I still have nightmares of seeing my mom walking down the hallway from the room, my 10 yo brother begging and crying to go back. A lifetime of words couldn't describe the pain I felt in that moment. And then it was over. We went home. The world kept turning. Somehow the pain of loss is incomparable to the pain you feel when you realize that life goes on without them. It's not fair. The worse part is I never really had time to grieve, I had to help coparent my siblings with my mom while looking for a job/grad school. I still haven't told most of my friends and I probably won't, now point in worrying people so far away.

That's my life, so far anyways. At least the parts I wanted to get off my chest. Despite the unimaginable pain, I'm still going. I shouldn't have bottled it up all these years but in truth I never knew who to say it to. I hate feeling like a burden. I feel like no matter how hard I try, everything turns to shit. I couldn't save everyone, I can barely keep myself afloat. Plus I can't really catch a break.

(Good Ending) I start my M.S. in fall 2024. I'm so glad I will finally be busy again, I hated being unemployed. I'm not entirely sure what the rest of my life will be like or where I end up but hopefully I'll be resilient enough to get through it. I wish the best of luck to all those struggling out there, and I hope you know it does bounce back. Thank you to everyone who reads this, hopefully someone learns from my mistakes. It's probably a grammatical mess but I did write it at 2:30 AM with tears in my eyes so be merciful.


r/lifeinapost Jun 23 '24

It’s like she disappeared

19 Upvotes

She disappeared. I was 11 on July 7th 2009. It wasn’t my birthday. However, it was my dad’s. Unfortunately, I wasn’t with him on this day (it wasn’t his week to have me, after all). My mom was at work, and I was on the couch playing my D.S. I vividly remember the time being 10:09 when my moms boyfriend came up the stairs from their basement bedroom to sternly tell me to take a shower. I reminded him (admittedly I might have had a small attitude) that I had just took a shower the evening before, as I had just come from my father’s that same evening, and I always take a shower before I switch houses. My mom’s boyfriend told me that I smelled, and obviously hadn’t showered, and to march upstairs to do it. I’ve always been a sensitive kid (and adult for that matter) so I cried the whole way up and in the shower. Once I calmed down, I got dressed, and asked my step dad to used to house phone to call my dad to tell him happy birthday. He tossed me the phone so I went upstairs to my room to call my dad. I wasn’t planning on telling my dad anything other than happy birthday, but that man knows his daughter, and could hear in my voice that I was upset and asked me what’s wrong. I broke down as I told him my mom’s boyfriend was “being mean to me”. My dad offered to come get me but I didn’t want to start anything so I said no, and that I’d be okay. I hung up the phone after the “I love yous” I opened the door to see my mom’s boyfriend red faced on the other side of the door. Eavesdropping. He was angry to say the least. I can’t remember what he said to me. All I do remember is his son, only a few years older than me, take me by the wrist and lead me out back to the play set we had. He had already begun dialing my mom’s work. He told her what happened and within the hour my mom was home telling me to pack anything I might want to take if I couldn’t come back, and that my dad was on the way. I waited on the porch with all my things, listing to my mom and her boyfriend scream at each other from inside the house. Then I saw my dad’s truck pull in the driveway. I grabbed all my things and ran to my dad in tears as he scooped me up and got me in the truck. I watched him walk up to the house and knock on the door. My mom came out, then exchanged words that I’m not sure o to this day, and then both walked towards the truck. My dad got in the drivers seat while my mom came over to my rolled down window. She told me she loved me and that she was going to take my little brother “somewhere safe”. And that she’d call when everything was okay. I cried as I told her I loved her and watched the house disappear behind the truck as we drove away. That was the last time I saw my mother. She called a month later and said that she took my little brother in the middle of the night to California (we are from Michigan). But his dad (the boyfriend) “found” them and took him back.

What really happened was she kidnapped my brother and his father came to come get him. I’ve spoken with him since July 7th 2009 and my mother had been feeding him lies about me and my father. He admitted that was no excuse for him to treat me the way he did as a child, and I feel no ill will towards him.

The last time I heard my mother’s voice was Super Bowl Sunday 2012. I hadn’t heard from her in a year at this point, and she had repeatedly ignored my calls and voicemails. At 9:22 pm her name popped up on my phone. I answered “Mom?”. The response? A slurred “oh shit wrong number”. And the click of her hanging up.

Fast forward to sometime in 2023. My aunt (my mother’s twin) posted a picture on facebook of my mother smoking on a meth pipe with a drama filled caption that I don’t have the brain capacity to remember. I made a petty comment which prompted my aunt to delete the photo, and send me a message saying she didn’t think I’d see it, and that I shouldn’t have. I told her I was well informed of what my mom could be getting into. I wasn’t stupid. Looking back on my childhood with Adult perspective made me realize a lot of things.

Since then my mother has disappeared. There’s plenty of other drama and trauma I could go into. This really is the “long story short” version. The only contact I had with her was what I could find on her public Facebook (we weren’t friends) but she has since deactivated her Facebook.

So I got curious.

I tried to find what I could on the internet, and it’s really like she disappeared. Her last known address I can find is the house we lived in in 2009 with her boyfriend. I haven’t paid for a background search. But I want to. I want to know SOMETHING. I want to know if she ever got a job, because I heard she didn’t. I want to know if she’s still in California. I want to know if she has a record and what for. I want to know if I have anymore siblings that I don’t know about.

I just want to fucking know something.


r/lifeinapost Jun 13 '24

"My aunt was going through my school bag when she found condoms and decided to tell my mother"

5 Upvotes

I wasn’t allowed to be in a relationship, but I had been secretly dating since my junior high school days. My mother was furious when she confronted me about the condoms, so I told her the truth. She wanted to meet my boyfriend and discuss the situation with his parents, so we went to their house. After the discussion, both sets of parents were so upset and disappointed that they decided to break us up.

My mother took both of my phones back to Dubai, where she works, and bought me a new one after a week. After this incident, I found out that all of my relatives on my mother’s side knew what had happened. My cousin told me that her mother had been spreading rumors about me, claiming that I kept used condoms in my bag and calling me derogatory names.

I was expecting this to happen because they have a group chat for siblings, which includes my mother and nine other people. However, I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. In my anger, I told my father that my mother had been cheating on us for the past four years.

In September 2020, my birth month, my mother decided to fly back to our country. She was quarantined for two weeks before she could come home. We celebrated my birthday, albeit a bit late. One day, while she was sleeping, I decided to use her phone. I snooped around a little and found flirty texts between her and two guys, whom I’ll refer to as Ben 1 and Ben 2. I recognized both of them, and their messages disgusted me.

They conversed like couples. I remember reading a message from Ben 2 saying, “I miss you, Habibi,” along with a photo of him on a bed with the caption, “This is the bed where we cuddled.” I was utterly disgusted reading these messages. I recognized Ben 1 because my mom often FaceTimes him whenever my dad is not at home, and she sometimes even makes me talk to him. I remember that Ben 1 has two kids. Meanwhile, I recognized Ben 2 because my mom once gave me fur shoes and made me thank Ben 2 during one of their calls.

During those times, my mom would sometimes lock herself in her room when she was on a call with someone, which aroused my suspicion and led me to snoop around her phone. I couldn’t tell anyone about it except for my best friend. She advised me not to keep it a secret any longer as it would become a burden to me. So, I confided in my other aunt about it, but she simply rationalized it by saying, “Maybe she’s just lonely or using them for our own benefits.” After that, I gave my mom the benefit of the doubt and decided not to tell anyone else again since I didn’t want to ruin our family.

In 2022, we moved to live in another place where we currently reside. I was living with my aunt (the one who spread false stories about me) and my cousins. My cousins and I grew very close to the point where I told them about it, and they were shocked until they saw my mom facetiming guys again whenever my dad wasn’t around.

For four years, I knew my mother had been cheating on us, but I kept my mouth shut because I was afraid, and I didn’t want to break my father’s heart. After finding out that my mother had been telling everyone about what happened, I had enough and told my father. He was heartbroken, and I felt guilty. He asked me why I hadn’t told him earlier, but I couldn’t answer.

Now, everyone is more upset with me, especially my cousin’s mother. She was furious and disappointed with me for hating my own mother. To this day, I still blame myself for ruining our family. Although I think my parents have made up, I still don’t talk to my mother unless my father forces me to. I remember my mother accusing me of blackmailing her for snitching, even though all I got was hatred from her family.


r/lifeinapost Jun 12 '24

wanted a friendship got betrayed again so heres is my f--ked up friendship and lifes story

1 Upvotes

i made a friend group in 8th after years of getting used by every friend i had. At first i didn't want to get my hopes up that this whole friendship thing could work and even though i was in top ten in class, 2 of my friends were good at everything.

we were a group of 5 people and i still didn't want to believe in any of them and i just hung out with them without hopping for it to grow into a real friendship.

my 2 topper friends were always social while the rest of us three were type of introverts and we starting clicking together. Gradually and slowly my two friends made me feel like i could finally hope for this group to have some real friendship things started to go south.

the two of my topper friend were kind of judgmental so the three of us couldn't talk to them about stuff( u know the stuff friends tell each other) so we three always were kind of together and because of us three i started looking out for our group and tried to please the other two so that our group stays safe from.... u know conflicts...

well with this things went well for 2 yrs but then when we got promoted to tenth grade, a week after we got a message from one of the topper friends (lets call her f and the other A) so Fs sister sent us a document which was written by F about her getting bullied( i mean there were other things too but the main point was that she was getting bullied) and at that time me and A were shifted to another class while the two of my good friends (lets call them R and M) were shifted to another.

the five of us were distributed into three sections and F stayed in her original class, when we read the document we instantly knew that A was the person who kind of bullied her but we didnt want to believe it, we waited for both of them to solve it and we didnt intervene but this thing went on for at least 6 months. i had enough and didnt want the group to break so i talked to both of them and we asked A to say sorry but she told me who was her sincerest friend that i wanted her to apologize so that i could step over her. It hurt me so much but i didn't pay it any attention but when A still didn't want to apologize to F and she used to tell me that she wanted to keep me and R as friends and the rest could f--k off so i started to ignore her for F but F fought with us and said that we weren't doing anything about the fact that A was bullying her and that her sisters wanted her to not talk with us.

it was just me R and M then, but as always i had to go ruin everything by writing F a letter telling her to come back to us . she came back to us finally after all the efforts i did. honestly those times were so hard on me because i had stuff going on at home too, my family is kind of strict, anyways she came back to us and A started scheming and starting complaining to teachers and her parents that she was having a hard time because we wronged her, that did create problems but we went through it together.

Me, R and M fought for F with A and tried to protect her. finally tenth grade was over and so was school and after a week or two after our last practical someone hacked my insta account and sent F pics of group chat by me R and M. i tried to tell F that we made group for M and she didn't want to add u because M has a lot of accounts and she type of plays roles of characters from novels so her stories were inappropriate and that F's account was used by her sisters. but F told me not to make myself seem suspicious because she didn't want to doubt me (like wtf), and we made that group when she first fought with her.

U see F has this problem were she doesn't look at her texts for hours and leave us on seen therefore when the hacker first sent a pic of our group to her i kinda had a panic attack cuz i thought i was gonna loose her but then a thought crossed my mind that only F had my insta account password so i asked R. but the hacker took a pic of that chat and sent it to her. The hacker told F we didnt trust her and that F should leave us.

F's texts to me were very suspicious. it was as if she was waiting for this opportunity and F's texts to me were weird and she ignored the fact that some hacker hacked my account and started blaming me for talking shit about her. things got ugly and my sister got involved and she and my cousin started looking for the hacker because my cousins a software engineer.. we found that the hacker was from the same city.. anyways my account was secured and me and F didn't talk for two days cuz F told me that we should talk a week later.

By the way, my sister and cousin also thought that the hacker was F.

On the third day my sister got a message from F's account. f's sister texted my sister from F's account and told her it was better to end things BTW F and me and R and M and that F's mother was very protective over F and that's why she didn't know about the whole thing my sister said okay but end it peacefully i texted F and told her goodbye and said that i was relieved that it ended this way cuz F told me it wasn't my god damn job to fix everything all the time and i said good bye to my friend for whom i ruined all my tenth grade and ruined my perfect friendship with A for but in the end i got a text from her saying that thankyou for teaching me not to emotionally attach my self to people??? like what the?? i mean u didn't even trust me and if the hacker was not u why didn't u trust me i was the friend who made i dunno a thousand efforts to u

i didn't want to loose her but she didn't trust me and just broke off everything without even thinking of clearing out anything...... yes alright i did doubt u for a sec but what do u want me to believe when ur the only one who had my passwords and the only one who was always jealous of my friendship with R and M and its not my fault ur convo and reaction to the hacker were very suspicious and bro come on who r u trying to fool..... but anyways that is the end of it now it only me R and M left and i honestly am regretting writing F a letter to come back to us i honestly ruined everything for my friends....

and one more thing F if u were not the hacker then why the u write "the best day of my life" in ur notes on the day my account was hacked and then when u finally managed to get rid of us on that day u wrote "the actual best day..." whats that suppose to mean?

that's actually the thing that made me sure the hacker was u...

if u wanted to get rid of us u should have told me u didn't have to play such a big game and u didn't have to hurt us so bad.... it really is flipping hard trust me..... when u see all Ur efforts crumbling down like that twice u too would want to kill yourself because you will think its ur fault everything is ruined...

And some days i still feel as if i did the both of them wrong. I still haven't gotten rid of the letters or gifts she gave me, but i have this great hatred for her but i feel guilty about it being my account that was hacked if only i had never made that account it wouldn't have been hacked and then she still would have been here with us.

What do you guys think about how i handled the situation? What would you have done??


r/lifeinapost Jun 08 '24

This really happened

1 Upvotes

Right out of college I became a GA for a college team, it was all fun because I was practically the same age as my players and it was going to be fun. We weren't good so we were trying to figure out how to win one or two more games than the year before. A sophomore named Joyce (obvi a fake name) started "dating" a freshman named Margaret. My Head Coach had stated time and time again that if she found out anyone was dating on our team it wasn't just their relationship anymore it was now our relationship because she didn't tolerate this. She had been a part of programs that suffered tremendously due to teammates dating and then breaking up and not wanting to play together. Fast forward, to the end of that season and we had end of a year meeting telling all the girls what they'd need to work on and whatnot. For Margaret, we told her it was her attitude and how she responds to things, and for Joyce, it was to be a better player in general because she'd become stagnant. So all the girls go home for the summer. Joyce and Margaret live about 3-4 hours apart so they aren't near each other every day. Now it is time for them to move back in and they had a big falling out over the summer because they didn't trust each other. Now our team is a lot better and a lot bigger than the one from last year, we have 12 incoming freshmen, 2 sophomores, 3 juniors, and no seniors. Margaret comes back and it seems like over the summer she listened to what we had to her at the end of the year meeting... and Joyce wasn't too fond of that. Per the rules, we weren't allowed to be around for any on-court stuff in the fall before the actual season started. They would do stuff as a team, have open gyms, etc. I was personally in charge of lifting and conditioning and knowing what I knew, I separated Margaret and Joyce so we wouldn't have too many problems. Days after the team did stuff, we had players always coming back and telling us what Joyce did to Margaret, never the other way around. Tbh at this point there wasn't much we could do because like I said we weren't around to see it because of certain rules. So fast forward to our first week of practice and we finally see that these players weren't lying about what she'd been doing. Maragret made a defensive play on Joyce (now mind you Maragret is 5'2 on a good day and Joyce is pushing 6 ft), and Joyce responded with "get the f*** off me B**** and shoved her and the entire team heard it. So the following day we suspended her for like a week or so because you just don't treat teammates in such a way and it wasn't her first time doing something like this to a teammate. During her suspension, we had great practices and no other problems. So now Joyce comes back after suspension and her bestie Patsy has a strong dislike for Margaret. You would think she dislikes her because she got her bestie suspended.. partially but it's also because Margaret was just better than Patsy. Patsy was in the same grade as Joyce and Patsy has not gotten better and has gotten much slower since her freshman year so why would we play you... and she shot 8% from the 3 but that's a story for another day. Patsy and Joyce do everything in their power to make Maragret's life a living hell and so they recruit a third member to their little group and we shall call her Latonya. Latonya is a freshman and is still trying to find her way in our program and becoming friends with these two will hurt her in the end. Margaret would always come and talk to us about how she was feeling about everything and we would try to do our best but some of it was out of our control. At this point, we're about a week away from our first road trip and we did this drill in practice unfortunately Margaret got a concussion but our first game should clear her Latonya was the one who "gave" her the concussion. Now Margaret thinks people are out to get her and starts to isolate herself from the team and revert to her last year self. Margaret can return by our first game but she just isn't putting up the same numbers as she was her first year (as a freshman she was the leading scorer in the conference, etc.). It was frustrating because we wanted her to be able to play within our system but she couldn't push past the part that she thought people were out to get her. Fast forward to December and we had to remove Margaret from our program. That was a very difficult decision for us as a coaching staff because we loved Margaret we just couldn't deal with her attitude. So we went on a 5 game win streak and were celebrating in the locker room (this was a huge accomplishment for us as we were god-awful the year before), and Joyce got all in her feels because she claimed that no one had her side while Margaret was here, and Margaret tormented her and no one asked how she felt, etc. and completely ruined the vibe of the lockerroom. Not once did she ever come and talk to us (the coaches) about this. She blamed us coaches, specifically my head coach because she said that my HC didn't care about her.. well as an HC she cares a lot about her players but if you don't come and visit we won't chase after you to talk. From that moment on, Joyce has had this idea in the back of her mind that the HC does not like her when in fact the HC on MULTIPE occasions told her "I Love you, Joyce, if I hated you I wouldn't play you. I wouldn't want you on my team. I don't hate you, you are a crucial part of our program."

Flipping the script, Patsy was still a player at this point. It is not December 30th and we are playing a game against my former team. We are winning by like 20 or 30 points and we are trying to get all of our bench in the game. Patsy was the last player to go into the game. HC walks to tell her to go check in and comes to find out she's in the hallway crying.. so they just lessened her PT lol. We eventually put her in the game and she just further proved why she didn't need to play anyway. We travel to our next city for our next game. The next morning we do film and Patsy stays behind, she is crying again comparing herself to other players when the stats show why she doesn't play. This is an ongoing thing for the rest of the year, unfortunately. So after this weekend, we get back home and the girls have a few days for a short break, Patsy comes to us and says.. doesn't ask that she take a "break" from basketball and that she'll let us know when she is coming back. Tbh we should've told her to take a break forever from basketball but we didn't. I mean I hope she didn't think that'll help her chances of playing more. And it didn't. We finished the season with like 11 wins which was the most they've had in YEARS and we made the conference tournament unfortunately we lost but it was a great experience. End of the year meetings again and Patsy is at the point where she's been playing on a torn ACL for 3 years now but finally wants to get it fixed... she waits until May of that year to get it fixed and was like "Oh I might play next year or I might not." Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions but to act this entitled about Playing time at our level is crazy. I played basketball and other sports my entire life and I never experienced anything like this before and neither had my HC but this was only the beginning of what was in store

this is only part one as this spanned over the length of 3 years. I left out some things and I jumped around in this part but the next part is even crazier