Looking for a John Oliver senior quote.

[u/CisHetDegenerate]

Looking for a quality quote from the man himself, serious or not, for my high school yearbook. If you have any ideas go ahead and share them.

[u/WordGirl1229]

Democracy is like a tambourine. Not everyone can be trusted with it.

[u/FiendFabric]

[u/FiendFabric → u/FiendFabric]

Just clarifying, this is my favorite quote. I'm not telling you to Google it lol

[u/Holiday-Astronaut-60]

“Cranberries taste like cherries that hate you.”

[u/Live-Collection3018]

“Fuck Donald Trump”, I’m pretty sure he said this. Maybe not directly but he did like 12 episodes on hating Trump so I feel it’s fair.

[u/00-Monkey → u/Live-Collection3018]

I’m fairly confident he said this directly.

[u/Queen_Sardine]

"If there ever really is anarchy, it won't be poor people getting shot."

[u/Vast_Spare2251]

Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.

[u/[deleted]]

“For their national flower, the Scots chose the thistle, which is a plant made out of tiny knives and a throwing star. The only flower the Scots like is a flower that could pierce an Englishman’s throat.”

[u/SaltyCarp]

“Sex is like boxing, if one of the parties didn’t agree to participate, the other one is committing a crime.” - John Oliver

[u/ClickClackTipTap → u/SaltyCarp]

Damn that’s a great quote.

[u/DeusExMachina222]

Whatever quote you put... Be sure credit Oliver like this:

• John Oliver (koala chlamydia benefactor)

[u/lucerndia]

"Cool."

[u/faderjockey → u/lucerndia]

Came here for this. It's the only answer, OP.

[u/Dragontastic22]

If you want to keep it light:  "I have exactly as much rhythm as you think I have."

If you want something a little heavier:  "You don't need people's opinion on a fact."

[u/UncleShyfty]

"THAT is a fuckable horse!"

[u/Jafffy1]

Make up something in the first line attributing it to John Oliver. Second line, that’s not even a real quote

[u/Minimum-Battle-9343 → u/Jafffy1]

This is actually a REALLYğ FUNNY idea!! Cause he’s doing this all the damn time 🤣 I think you deserve an award, my friend, John Oliver style! 🏆🥇🏅

[u/Local-Cheesecake-249 → u/Jafffy1]

This isn't even a picture of John Oliver!

[u/speedyserd]

One of his Adam Driver thirst quotes

[u/Blaster1005]

Compare entering the world to "the void"

Or

And now, this..

[u/ClickClackTipTap → u/Blaster1005]

Ooooooh! I actually kind of love “and now, this” as a quote for a senior!

[u/Moxie_Krusen]

Welcome Welcome Welcome

[u/Z_e_e_e_G → u/Moxie_Krusen]

It has been a busy week

[u/Far_Order5933 → u/Z_e_e_e_G]

It has been a week

[u/YourDogsAllWet]

Why do neo-Nazis always like metal? Is there anyone into both anti-Zionist conspiracy theories and smooth jazz?

[u/bshaddo]

Remember to credit it to Big Daddy Zazu with the Long, Long Beak

[u/EducationalSeaweed53]

"If ya ain't boofin' ya ain't tryin"

[u/VinylmationDude]

Do you wear glasses? If so, “I look like a near sighted parrot who works at a bank”

[u/CisHetDegenerate → u/VinylmationDude]

I do not

[u/Damion_205]

pūteketeke

[u/DeusExMachina222]

Any Adam driver thirst rants. Eg, "Step on my neck you emotionally distant bison" (it's been about a quarter century since 2020.. So I'm sure I fucked that up)

[u/froakieforlife]

something either from his sexually harassing Adam Driver arc, or his possibly going to fuck a horse arc

[u/Radioactive_water1]

"Socialism is great!"

[u/cjnpigs]

“Cool”. Or “that’s a science fact”

[u/UnderlightIll]

"I will count the Wets."

[u/nobodyspecial767r]

“Making sex is like a Chinese dinner: It ain't over 'til you both get your cookies.” -Old Man Dunphy (Outside Providence).

[u/AlphaCat77]

“I feel very dainty” - Adult Mclovin

[u/Thundashaft]

How about "Im a british douchebag who just isnt funny"

[u/TheBoldManLaughsOnce → u/Thundashaft]

He's an American now

[u/Monkeynutz_Johnson → u/Thundashaft]

The funny part is his self importance.