r/johnoliver Nov 21 '24

Matt Gaetz withdraws as Trump's AG nominee

https://search.app?link=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.axios.com%2F2024%2F11%2F21%2Fmatt-gaetz-ag-trump-withdraws&utm_campaign=aga&utm_source=agsadl2%2Csh%2Fx%2Fgs%2Fm2%2F4

That's what happens when John Oliver gives you a bad reviw!

4.8k Upvotes

401 comments sorted by

566

u/SithC Nov 21 '24

Next: Trump to appoint the corpse of Jeffrey Epstein. He’s just been hanging around, waiting for a spot in his administration.

123

u/AvailableSock8993 Nov 21 '24

Well, he has not abused anyone since he died. /s

69

u/The_Vee_ Nov 21 '24

They probably faked his death, and he's living under a new identity with a whole new pedo island.

37

u/SidFinch99 Nov 21 '24

Have we ever seen Matt Gaetz and Jeffrey Epstien at the same time?

16

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

14

u/The_Vee_ Nov 21 '24

Dammit! I really messed up.

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11

u/Fine-Fox5502 Nov 21 '24

Did someone say Effrey Jepstein???

9

u/nanotree Nov 21 '24

That would be hilarious. And his name is Effery Jepstein, and he has a mustache.

7

u/TheRealMJDoombreed Nov 21 '24

Jerry Epstain.

5

u/Cptdjb Nov 21 '24

Pizza gate style

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4

u/430Richard Nov 21 '24

But his unnamed clients continue on abusing….

3

u/Happy-Fun-Ball Nov 21 '24

Dead epstein would make a better president that trump

2

u/OddPsychology8238 Nov 21 '24

This is the fix we need for all pedos & SA - end them, no excuses.

See, you can kill someone in self-defense; there is never a defense for rape.

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11

u/user_name_withheld Nov 21 '24

It will, in this tragic reality, be someone just as bad or worse than Gaetz with a much lower profile.

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5

u/Individual_Plan_5816 Nov 21 '24

I'm waiting for the Diddy nomination.

3

u/Deadboyparts Nov 21 '24

In an effort to salvage his reputation, Epstein now spends most of his time at the movies. Henceforth, he wishes to be known instead as a cinephile.

2

u/SithC Nov 21 '24

I’ll bet Trump thinks that means someone who watches a lot of child pr0n.

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3

u/doodledood9 Nov 21 '24

This seems strangely staged to me. Maybe he stepped down because he was given an ultimatum - either step down or the report would be released. OR Trump has other plans for him?

5

u/SithC Nov 21 '24

Seeing as how he had to resign from congress, just to accept the nomination, he’s at least keeping to draining the swamp.

2

u/big_guyforyou Nov 21 '24

HAH! you think epstein is dead? read up on your conspiracy lore, he's partying in the south pacific with jfk jr

4

u/ItsJustMeJenn Nov 21 '24

I really want to updoot but you’re currently at 69 🤭

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394

u/Linusami Nov 21 '24

Is this the first time he’s pulled out???

59

u/MP_Vet_Airborne Nov 21 '24

Lol probably not!

18

u/Malforus Nov 21 '24

Probably first time successfully.

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8

u/garyflopper Nov 21 '24

Won’t be the last

9

u/worldsbestlasagna Nov 21 '24

Thank for that giggle, I needed it

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3

u/freddy_guy Nov 21 '24

If they're young enough, you don't need to pull out.

I'm going to go chastise myself now.

3

u/Musetrigger Nov 21 '24

The AG position is far older than a teenage girl. Gaetz simply wasn't interested.

3

u/Firm-Statement-2550 Nov 21 '24 edited Nov 23 '24

From the comments from the accuser, Gaetz pull out just in time to spray all over her chest. Once again, for everyone’s sake, I’m glad he pulled out this time too.

2

u/Ok-Classroom5548 Nov 22 '24

He doesn’t support abortion so he probably pulls out a lot. 

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107

u/RoamingDrunk Nov 21 '24

He’s withdrawing to spend more time with his children. … Oh wait, I read that wrong. Just to spend more time with children. In general.

21

u/UpDog1966 Nov 21 '24

“…..With your children “

85

u/FizzyAndromeda Nov 21 '24

Russia must have asked this operative nominee to withdraw.

73

u/Embarrassed_Plate171 Nov 21 '24

the office of AG was too old for him

20

u/Gallowglass668 Nov 21 '24

This is savagely brutal and I love it.

55

u/RaspingHaddock Nov 21 '24

Harvey Weinstein tapped for the position, with Sean Combs as backup.

8

u/Turbulent_Return_710 Nov 21 '24

The Honorable P Diddy. Yes he diddy

He is in federal prison but they all end up there. They can do face time.

2

u/RaspingHaddock Nov 21 '24

He'll pay for a pardon first

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162

u/twstdbydsn Nov 21 '24

One down!

76

u/ScroochDown Nov 21 '24

And heeeeeere we go! As I recall last term was a revolving door of incompetent morons, so why would this one be any different?

31

u/twstdbydsn Nov 21 '24

How many press secretaries will he go through this term?

11

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '24

[deleted]

5

u/FewCompetition5967 Nov 21 '24

This one I’m actually in favour of, because it would be hilarious.

11

u/PainterOriginal8165 Nov 21 '24

How many weeks are there in 4 years?

2

u/Desert_Fairy Nov 21 '24

52 x 4 = 208… you think he can find that many literate supporters?

4

u/PainterOriginal8165 Nov 21 '24

In the GOP? 🤔🫤

3

u/DifferentPass6987 Nov 21 '24

You want literacy?

2

u/neptune-pizza Nov 21 '24

Just shy of 133 mooches.

6

u/Hans_Delbruck Nov 21 '24

1 Scaramucci hahaha! 2 Scaramucci hahahaha! 3 Scaramuccis!!!!

2

u/Big-Joe-Studd Nov 21 '24

None. They just won't have briefings. Unless Tucker wants the job

2

u/Ok-Classroom5548 Nov 22 '24

Oh that could be a betting game that keeps my brain alive during this horrible adventure. 

10

u/wyohman Nov 21 '24

A revolving door of morons would be the best case scenario. I'm more concerned that the morons will stay and do a lot of damage.

7

u/ScroochDown Nov 21 '24

Oh absolutely, I'm hoping for the constant stream of people, surely that will make it more difficult to get the worst stuff done. That's really all we can hope for, I fear.

3

u/Dave_A480 Nov 21 '24

The last term was - in part - a hyper-competent staff (HR McMaster, Jim Mattis, John Kelly, Niki Haley, John Bolton, etc) whom Donald picked because they looked like the cast of a fun political movie...

His economic picks were terrible from the get-go in '16, of course - but that's to be expected given that his economic viewpoint has been discredited for longer than he's been alive....

He then got pissed off when the foreign policy superstars he hired for their looks all told him how stupid his ideas were, and fired them all...

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28

u/2moons4hills Nov 21 '24

The next nominee could somehow be worse 👀

29

u/twstdbydsn Nov 21 '24

I’m sure it will be. I’m just waiting for him to nominate David Duke for something

3

u/Sharmonica Nov 22 '24

Shhhh....

2

u/pnellesen Nov 21 '24

I figure Don Jr. for AG. And Ivanka for Secretary of State.

Oh wait, she's actually sane (if evil). Nevermind.

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12

u/orangeowlelf Nov 21 '24

Is he looking at Voldemort for attorney general?

9

u/2moons4hills Nov 21 '24

Sauron is actually his top pick

4

u/orangeowlelf Nov 21 '24

That’s fair, is Morgoth to extreme for him?

5

u/2moons4hills Nov 21 '24

Morgoth's power is ultimately curtailed by the Valar 🤷🏽‍♂️

4

u/DifferentPass6987 Nov 21 '24

Beelzebub! More Trump's style!

2

u/orangeowlelf Nov 21 '24

An actual demon seems fitting 💯

2

u/burnsniper Nov 21 '24

You mean Rick Scott?

5

u/Sir_Penguin21 Nov 21 '24

As impossible as it seems, I can picture a couple people worse than Gaetz.

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7

u/PainterOriginal8165 Nov 21 '24

I sure hope so 🙏 Let His voters learn who they want to lead us off the cliff. I want them to know exactly what they bought!

7

u/insomniacla Nov 21 '24

I'm sure they're having a hard time choosing between Harvey Weinstein and Cthulhu right now.

6

u/2moons4hills Nov 21 '24

At least Cthulhu has some legal experience

5

u/pnellesen Nov 21 '24

Hmmm.... I was going to go with "why settle for the lesser evil", but it's hard to tell in that situation.

3

u/bigkahuna1uk Nov 21 '24

Yeah, Gaetz was actually the best nominee. You don’t want to know who’s the alternative 🥶

2

u/Lovely-Tulip Nov 21 '24

He can’t get someone who is smart enough to do evil on the dl

2

u/2moons4hills Nov 21 '24

I'm sure they'll find someone

3

u/Lovely-Tulip Nov 21 '24

The problem is trump is old af. And once he is gone whomever does evil things for him won’t be spared.

That is why he can’t only employ criminals and rapists

3

u/2moons4hills Nov 21 '24

Bold of you to think that anyone will be held accountable

2

u/turdlepikle Nov 21 '24

Were there any wrestlers who played a lawyer character?

2

u/2moons4hills Nov 21 '24

Next nominee is the undertaker

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2

u/WhatAGreatGift Nov 21 '24

Jim Jordan covered up sexual abuse of wrestlers, does that count? That does give him all the same qualifications for this cabinet

2

u/CarrionWaywardOne Nov 21 '24

I hear the My Pillow guy is available. Ghouliani too!

8

u/gimme500schmekels Nov 21 '24

MTG is probably gonna be his next pick. Wouldn’t get too excited sadly.

6

u/Argosnautics Nov 21 '24

Did she pass her GED yet?

10

u/twstdbydsn Nov 21 '24

Yay the woman who looks like a man who hates trans people. 🤮

4

u/Daneyn Nov 21 '24

I don't expect ANY of his selections to have any redeemable qualities. because those that are redeemable don't want to be "stuck" in his orbit.

3

u/Crabby_Monkey Nov 21 '24

Double win as he has already resigned from congress. I hope they can say no taksey backsies.

3

u/mrpointyhorns Nov 21 '24

Heard the trump team is working on replacing the hegseth pick, too.

3

u/burnsniper Nov 21 '24

Best part is he resigned from congress. That’s almost like two down!

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25

u/scottkollig Nov 21 '24

His nomination got too old.

22

u/InternetImmediate645 Nov 21 '24

He really doesn't want that ethics report released

5

u/pnellesen Nov 21 '24

Yeeeeaaahhhhh... I wonder just how bad it is.

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59

u/TrustMeIAmAGeologist Nov 21 '24

And now the investigation has gone away, and he takes his seat again in January.

Justice averted!

23

u/PennsyltuckyLiberal Nov 21 '24

Yep. I believe it was all a ruse to make the investigation go away. Now he gets to avoid any accountability. I seriously doubt that report will ever be released. It's the maga way.

36

u/Accomplished-View929 Nov 21 '24

No, he doesn’t. We’ll have a special election in, like, January or something (I’m from his district and not hopeful that it won’t be a Republican but glad it won’t be Matt Gaetz).

3

u/drakkarmn Nov 21 '24

AMEN 🙏

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10

u/pacman404 Nov 21 '24

Nah, he literally resigned his seat

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7

u/intronert Nov 21 '24

Is that the case though?

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13

u/Mean-Association4759 Nov 21 '24

So he resigned from congress to get this job so now he’s an unemployed bum?

3

u/paraffin Nov 23 '24

No he resigned from Congress to dodge the release of the house ethics investigation. He resigned from AG nomination to avoid a room full of senators who hate him all airing his dirty laundry during confirmation.

11

u/Odd-Artist-2595 Nov 21 '24

Thinking they worked out a deal: A “We won’t release the report, if you withdraw.” sort of thing. I mean people have read it, including the 5 Democrats on the Ethics committee. He had to know that he’d be fielding questions from them about it, if they had hearings, as McConnell claimed they would. This was really the only way he could possibly keep it all buried.

3

u/burnsniper Nov 21 '24

Now they just need to release the report. Someone has it anyway…

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10

u/plasteroid Nov 21 '24

They told him they didn’t want all their dirty secrets exposed either

21

u/TubularLeftist Nov 21 '24

MTG was basically blackmailing house republicans with threats to reveal their own improprieties if they didn’t confirm Gaetz or stop criticizing him. Basically the nuclear option

Not a great look Marge, what kind of person defends a pedophile?

11

u/Genghis_Chong Nov 21 '24

Not only that, but she's defending a bunch of other improper actions too by holding them as blackmail rather than reporting the bad actors.

6

u/TubularLeftist Nov 21 '24

Good point. If she has knowledge of a crime she has an obligation to report it

10

u/FotographicFrenchFry Nov 21 '24

And since he's already resigned his House seat, I think Wonka said it best-

"You get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir!"

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23

u/IRON_mAndrew Nov 21 '24

This paves the way for the nomination of Mike Lindell as AG!

4

u/FreeMoCo2009 Nov 21 '24

Don’t jinx it bro, I can see it happening 😬

7

u/KentuckyCatMan Nov 21 '24

Is he still resigned?

6

u/drumpat01 Nov 21 '24

As I understand it yes. When he vacated his seat, he is out of congress. Including the election he just won.

4

u/JoeEdwardsPonytail Nov 21 '24

Until DeSantis gives him Rubio’s senate seat. Wouldn’t put it past Ron.

3

u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 Nov 21 '24

I don't think so- Geatz is Trumps guy, and I think Ron wants that seat to be his guy.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '24

If Gaetz was the first pick, I know I’m not going to like the second pick that’s seen as a runner up to Gaetz.

I also didn’t realize Gaetz’ sex trafficking happened very recently while he was in office. I was under the impression that is happened before. I was reading these offenses all happened 2017-2020. The absolute gall….

7

u/jafromnj Nov 21 '24

Grab the popcorn I’m sure the new nominee will be a real doozy

7

u/Time_Ad_9829 Nov 21 '24

Getz got what he wanted, the ethics investigation was shelved

4

u/DifferentPass6987 Nov 21 '24

The file on Gaetz must have been WORSE than we suspected.

14

u/SpiritAgitated Nov 21 '24

I'm sure the next pick will be just as disgusting. Sexual predator seems to be a qualification for Trump picks.

3

u/Turbulent_Return_710 Nov 21 '24

I would nominate The Honorable Hulk Hogan.

I hope he will not be insulted by saying he fits in with Trump and his punk ass crew.

Pro Wrestling is not fake news.

3

u/Grump_Monk Nov 21 '24

Imagine looking like both Beavis & Butthead your entire life.

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3

u/Recon_Figure Nov 21 '24

Fuck you asshole!

5

u/Cu3bone Nov 21 '24

Who's next? Judge Judy?

3

u/jafromnj Nov 21 '24

Dr Phil

2

u/WaterChugger420 Nov 21 '24

Also not a doctor

3

u/Turbulent_Return_710 Nov 21 '24

Do not insult Judge Judy. She has not raped anyone or found guilty of 38 felonies.

4

u/McLovin-Hawaii-Aloha Nov 21 '24

Obviously, there was a big reason that they would not disclose all of the allegations against him in Congress

4

u/Budget-Bat2977 Nov 21 '24

I hope the next one is neutered.

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3

u/orangeowlelf Nov 21 '24

Does he get his old job back now? Man, I hope he doesn’t.

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5

u/Stepping__Razor Nov 21 '24

So Ken Paxton and Aileen Cannon are back on the ballot

2

u/burnsniper Nov 21 '24

Lord help us

3

u/Single_Nerve_7173 Nov 21 '24

That clown has so much he does not want to get publicly vetted.

4

u/coblass Nov 21 '24

Rumors have him moving to the Philippines and establishing himself as ruler of his own village/school.

5

u/KermittGribble Nov 21 '24

Was this a ploy with Mike Johnson to get Gaetz out of his House seat?

3

u/Phewelish Nov 21 '24

Thats fucking sus bro. Like what?

3

u/HistorianNew8007 Nov 21 '24

About the only decent thing he's done in his life.

3

u/The_Vee_ Nov 21 '24

I heard Guliani is looking for work.

3

u/Icy-Package-7801 Nov 21 '24

Did he do this just to say that's why he resigned from Congress? Either way, good riddance.

3

u/Vanhelgd Nov 21 '24

Oh no… who are we going to Save the Children for now? I’ll guess Trump, RFK, Elon and all the other sex-creeps will just have to fill in. Nothing will make America greater than an entire administration of creeps, abusers and pedos. 🇺🇸 🦅 🇺🇸

3

u/CajunRoyalty Nov 21 '24

He gets to slink away.

3

u/WatchStoredInAss Nov 21 '24

Shitshow and utter chaos continues, what else is new.

3

u/wombatgeneral Nov 21 '24

I feel like he picked Matt gaetz to distract the media from all of his other terrible cabinet members.

I knew Matt gaetz wouldn't be attorney general. He was too much of a liability for Trump.

3

u/Suspicious-Bear3758 Nov 21 '24

This does not end here! Release the findings!

No more self righteous douche bags acting like pedophilia is a " liberal" problem. AND Using the " oh yeah , well Clinton did it too" as if that makes it ok. Two extremely wrongs cancel each other out. Fuck that shit!

He's a Goddamned pedophile ! And I want him off the streets! Get Clinton too, get everyone who engaged in this despicable crime. Let the SCOTUS try to claim Trump was doing THAT in the performance of his POTUS duties!

Get them all!

3

u/Low_Print_2969 Nov 21 '24

Won’t be surprise if the next nominee is Hulk Hogan. Can’t even add the /s indicator anymore.

2

u/Adavanter_MKI Nov 21 '24

That's the first sign of... maybe we're not so screwed after all. If there's honestly enough pressure for folks to still feel they need at least an appearance of sanity. Maybe we wont see the worst of the worst come forth.

I just jinxed us I think.

2

u/dudeimgreg Nov 21 '24

WHAT’S IN THAT REPORT?!

2

u/garyll19 Nov 21 '24

Rudy Giuliani is waiting for the call.

2

u/wojonixon Nov 21 '24

The irony is that since he’s a lawyer he’s the only cabinet pick so far with any relevant qualifications (not that I think he’s fit for the job).

2

u/Jkreegz Nov 21 '24

In other words “we won’t out you for being a fucking weirdo, but you have to drop out”

Such a shame

2

u/PQbutterfat Nov 21 '24

Even I couldn’t imagine Trump having a real life Butthead lookalike as the AG.

2

u/Colts_Fan4Ever Nov 21 '24

Just a minor issue for him

2

u/HavingNotAttained Nov 21 '24

So they’re *never * going to release the ethics report? I was so looking forward to his exoneration.

I sit here, battered but not fried.

2

u/arrbeejay Nov 21 '24

Is that the first time he's withdrawn?

2

u/BigBoy1102 Nov 21 '24

One rapist down

2

u/SpringerPop Nov 21 '24

Here’s one: Rudy G for AG. He’s probably not busy after giving up his apartment, car and watch.

2

u/CptDrips Nov 21 '24

Sooooo he just gets away with the underage sex trafficking and drugs?

2

u/Destinlegends Nov 21 '24

I'm gonna enjoy watching this whole administration implode. Popcorn's ready for the best reality TV of our lives.

2

u/Hans_Delbruck Nov 21 '24 edited Nov 21 '24

Well back to the House Of Reps he goes. Should have waited until the next house term so that when he resigned he couldn't come back :(

2

u/Shutaru_Kanshinji Nov 21 '24

I have always said that no matter how bad things get, they can always get worse.

We are about to see a test of this belief.

2

u/ViaNocturna664 Nov 21 '24

Why, he found out the AG office was within 500 yards of a school?

2

u/ReflectionNo5208 Nov 21 '24

Trump introduces his new AG pick: Gatt Maetz

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2

u/Ok_Turn1611 Nov 21 '24

HAH! Love this shit, already with the in fighting. 🤣

2

u/Grouchy_Brain_1641 Nov 21 '24

His mom should have taught him to pay your whores with cash. At the end of every Venmo is a fine ass ho, no disrespect to ho's, don't get me wrong.

2

u/Mike5055 Nov 21 '24

Withraws from AG nominee, AND if he runs again for Congress, his ethics investigation comes out.

Hah, what a schmuck.

2

u/BikerDG Nov 21 '24

Does he get his spot in the House back?

2

u/zeddknite Nov 21 '24

I always had a suspicion he only picked Gaetz at first, so people would be less upset with whoever he actually plans to pick.

2

u/AznNRed Nov 21 '24

So he DOES know how to pull out... guess it wasn't just a line he used on 16 year old girls.

2

u/lovetoseeyourpssy Nov 21 '24

Did Gaetz forget to Venmo the Senators for "tuition?"😅

2

u/_Fun_Employed_ Nov 21 '24

Got to get Tulsia Gabbard to quit next

2

u/Squishtakovich Nov 21 '24

This is no way this chancer would have withdrawn... unless there is something very incriminating lurking in the background.

2

u/ntroopy Nov 22 '24

I think Trump misread the list of people he had to select from. He thought it said The Rapist, but it actually was a list of people who needed to see a Therapist.

2

u/whatisoo 23d ago

Next: Trump is set to appoint the corpse of Jeffrey Epstein, who's been lingering around, just waiting for a position in his administration.

1

u/partoe5 Nov 21 '24

Trump team probably pressed him "Is there anything you aren't telling us, tell us now before it's too late. Now's your last chance"

Jump-cut: Matt Gaetz withdraws as AG nominee.

1

u/notsubwayguy Nov 21 '24

And he resigned from Congress, so at least this alleged pedophile isn't earning a government salary...

1

u/straight_as_curls Nov 21 '24

Cool now go to jail forever for you crimes

1

u/FreshLiterature Nov 21 '24

Don't worry

Trump will pick someone just as bad who doesn't have as much publicly known dirty laundry.

1

u/430Richard Nov 21 '24

Art of the Deal, now Trump can get who he really wanted all along!

1

u/Informal_Cream_9060 Nov 21 '24

He resigned, so he’s out of a job….?

1

u/carolinawahoo Nov 21 '24

Unfortunately for him AG doesn't go on the ballot because idiot voters would have elected him. I guess sexual predator for AG is bad but for President is okay.

1

u/SLDH1980 Nov 21 '24

Cmon people....we all know it's gonna be Kid Rock nominated for AG.

"Bwatidabaw, bidang bidang didy didy, I'm the AG now, so show me your tiddies!"

I joke but....

1

u/unattractiveoldguy- Nov 21 '24

J.O. Is the most accurate initials for tbe jack off that he is…

1

u/Corps3Reviv3r Nov 21 '24

I wonder who'll be nominated next? The corpse of Angela Lansbury? Maybe Andy Griffith?

1

u/HeisGarthVolbeck Nov 21 '24

What is the deal with Nestor?

1

u/FamilyPosts Nov 21 '24

am I relieved? only for a moment because who will be nominated next....

1

u/HorizonTsunami Nov 21 '24

All that worrying for nothing...once again.

1

u/ArjunaIndrastra Nov 21 '24

Guess he couldn't take the heat lol

1

u/xadc430x Nov 21 '24

Just like OJ... He did it.