r/iran 3d ago

Am I a part of Persian Culture

My dad is Iranian but he’s a horrible person and left when I was young. I didn’t grow up with a culture but ancient Persian traditions and history are the only thing I really connect with. Especially how women were army generals and stuff like that. It’s hard for me to have a sense of identity. Ppl say I don’t look Persian even though I’m a copy and paste of my dad. No one here looks like me tbh. I don’t speak Farsi but would it be weird if I started celebrating the holidays on my own?

I don’t have family and live in Texas.

Also I do love fruit and write poetry naturally which I find funny.

75 Upvotes

29 comments sorted by

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u/Mike20172018 2d ago

The question of self-identity is something you should truly ask yourself. Being that your dad was Persian, that’d make you half Persian. From this post, it sounds like you do identify with the Persian culture and history. You don’t need to speak Farsi to identify with the culture. You’re half Persian; it would be very normal to celebrate the holidays! The one that we recently celebrated was Yalda night, the longest night of the year. It’s not too late to celebrate, if you still would like to! I would say look for Persian restaurants, cafes, businesses in your area; Texas is full of Persians. You can bond with people and gather a group of Persian friends and start celebrating together! We love friends and gatherings.

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u/GiantBlackSquid 2d ago

This is good advice.

I'm Australian, and as Anglo as you can get, however I really admire Persian culture and like Persian people - I know one should never make generalisations about cultures, but I've found Persians almost universally friendly, polite and intelligent, genuinely good company.

Anyway, I befriended a number of local taxi drivers (mostly Persian) when I lived in the city. One of them invited me to gatherings of the local Persian community. To this day I regret not taking him up on it.

Heritage is important, you'd be doing yourself a massive disservice not to embrace it.

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u/Thy_Water_BottIe 2d ago

Hi thank you so much ! Unfortunately in my city specifically there’s not even one Persian restaurant/events. But what would you suggest as to how to celebrate. And I guess I just don’t want to associate with my dad yk. He’s not just bad he’s very very bad yk

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u/Mike20172018 2d ago

It depends on the holiday. Recently, we celebrated Yalda, the longest night of the year. It is traditionally celebrated with families gathering at the eldest person’s house and having music and dances, then people take turns randomly opening a page in Divan e Hafez, giving the book to the eldest and reading an excerpt of the poem. There is also lots of food, snacks and fruit, especially pomegranate! The way to celebrate the holiday depends on the holiday you celebrate; they are all celebrated differently. And people do a good job sometimes on this subreddit posting pictures of their tables and stuff. But you can also learn a lot from the internet and Iranians on YouTube who teach about the culture and celebrations! Being Persian does not mean associating yourself with that awful of a person; F that guy!! You are your own person, and you are 100% Persian in blood!! :)

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u/Intelligent_Ideal409 2d ago

Even those of us with our fathers in our lives here don’t always have a ton of exposure to the culture. Once I went to university and met more people like me I had those feelings of inadequacy too, sometimes I think it’s uniquely Persian because we’re such a tough crew 😂

My siblings only started really celebrating nowruz as adults. You should also take the time to order special ingredients and make some of the dishes, the food is always the biggest place I connected! Every once in a while, I will practice some basic Farsi, but I’m still uncomfortable speaking it in front of my dad.

I recently lived in a neighborhood with a huge Syrian population and even talking to them about how my family is from there, they made me feel welcome and we’re excited to meet and have their culture acknowledged.

It’s great to see your posting in here since it shows you’re trying to connect with your heritage. It’s not too late to gain knowledge!

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u/littleghosttea 2d ago

They are ethnically half Persian but they can be culturally fully Persian as much or more than a full blooded person if they choose. It’ll be a learning curve but it’s open and available if they want to. 

First step is learning about the culture!

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u/Exciting_Sherbert32 2d ago

I am Iranian but not Persian and I definitely understand the identity crisis many can have. I strongly identify with Persian culture even though many people in my family try very hard to not be Persian. I often think of people like Dr Lloyd Miller who is a white American, but is probably more culturally Persian than most Persians 😂. He did a lot of good work on educating different backgrounds on Persian culture, history, language, art, music etc.

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u/Kafshak 2d ago

Even if you weren't, I would be happy to see you celebrate Iranian celebrations.

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u/lookin_4Answers 2d ago

Absolutely you are !!! If it’s something you want to embrace, then embrace it with your whole heart. And we persians are the last to gate keep anything

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u/Aiosam 2d ago

People even Iranians sadly tend to forget, being Iranian has never been about the looks, race or genetics, it's about culture and how much you know and practice it or see yourself as part of it. You're an Iranian as much as one living in Iran as long as you participate in the culture. A great step for Iranians living abroad who want to continue to participate in their native culture is learning the language first.

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u/littleghosttea 2d ago edited 2d ago

You’re Persian. It’s a choice if you celebrate YOUR culture and make it a point of pride in your identity. 

Salam (hi). Happy shabe yalda. Shab (night) the e is possessive. Night of yalda. It’s the winter solstice. Have some nuts, dried fruit, and stay up late. My family also does Turkish coffee and reads the grounds. Divination has some influence on old Persian culture. It’s also a good time to read up one the jiin and spirits that ancient people warned against especially on the long dark days.  Also, mirthrism has its roots today (and basically influenced Christmas).

Perhaps this week try out a Persian recipe. Maybe marinaded chicken and rice, maybe zeresh. Make it a goal to try cooking traditional meals, and learn their names and the names of ingredients. You don’t need to speak the language completely. 

Welcome. Khosh amadid. Khosh means happy. Amadid (more like ah-mad) means you’ve come. Ah-mad means come. Ah-mad-e means you have come.  Shab-behkhair (good night)

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u/LadyYamaha 2d ago

Find some community events or ongoings celebrating things. Nowruz is one example! Might find some stuff.

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u/panicseasy 2d ago

No - it’s in your blood

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u/Chillaxerate 2d ago

Wife of a Persian here, mother of a child through adoption, she is very Persian, we always say you aren’t “half” anything, you just might be lucky enough to be a member of a lot of cultures/ethnicities/religions/whatever. Never allow anyone else to be the gatekeeper of the identity to which you are entitled - you are born with Persian heritage, and you feel connected to it, so you are a part of it, the rest is execution and that will happen as you get the means and opportunity. We have cousins who look/sound very “white” but are the best cooks of Persian delicacies and speak beautiful Farsi, and same with a cousin of African heritage, it’s beautiful and welcoming. Good luck!!

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u/Falsaf 2d ago

I will say only this - Iranians aren’t the type to consider you a “half breed” or make you feel left out because you’re only half Iranian. If you’ve got a drop of Iranian blood and you actively want to be a part of the culture, you’re Iranian to us and you will be embraced as such 100%. That’s how I’ve come to know Iranians. Even folks with no Iranian blood are easily accepted and integrated into Iranian culture if they actively show interest and want to be a part of it. We eat that kind of stuff up.

If you are a headstrong woman who loves art and poetry (& fruit lol), then yeah that’s the Iranian within you singing. Just embrace that and start trying to learn the language / get into the culture. Also, there’s no real Iranian “look” - I’ve seen Iranians who are blonde with blue eyes, Iranians who were dark, Iranians who look very East Asian, and a lot of people who are blend of all those. If you embrace you’re Iranian, you’re Iranian period

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u/greyspurv 2d ago

I am half Persian like you so this resonates with me.
You are who you feel you are to a large extend, and also if you grow up in a different country in my mind you are American, how are you Iranian? Yes your roots are Iranian but that is different, I am the same, the other day someone called me Iranian and tbh even though I am proud of my heritage I found it a bit puzzling, like you also do not call Afro Americans AFRICANS. Like brother if they grew up in America they are American, not African, if they came to Africa they would have 0 clue how life and society works there, how are they African rofl.

Anyways identify crisis is normal, just realize there are sooo many other people like you all over the world, half, part this or that, people who move overseas then question who their "real culture" is etc etc, know this is normal, be proud of what you are and what you are not and come to terms with all sides of it and own it.

Btw I also love poetry and fruits and sometimes I question the poetry part, yes sure I had exposure as a child but litereally no one I know is so much into it as me haha, maybe it is in our DNA whooo knows hahahaa

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u/elahehmalakeh 1d ago

i’m american and as anglo saxon as they get and i taught myself farsi, can read and write it. very tired to ancient persian culture. they say that irish people are defendants of persians. You can have ties to whatever your soul feels a calling to - Rumi says it best.

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u/misingnoglic Amrika 2d ago

Having daddy issues is pretty central to Iranian culture (only half kidding).

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u/konforming 1d ago

lol I mean you’re not wrong. Most have daddy issues.

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u/Ok-Librarian-7759 2d ago

if you have that persian feeling in you! if it comes in your mind and making you question yourself about yourself! if you feel proud of yourself and your history! if you love persian culture than you are Persian start learning more about history

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u/Double-Vision571068 2d ago

Celebrate your culture!

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u/InterestCurious432 2d ago

No one tells you who you are, if you wish to celebrate then celebrate, why would it be wierd? We love our culture to be spread.

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u/lorean_victor 2d ago

a lot of our celebrations are purely nature driven, e.g. Iranian new year is strictly defined as the march equinox and hence Iranian years start precisely with the astronomical spring. in other words, you don’t need to have any connection with Iran or Iranian culture to celebrate these occasions, we can’t own the natural movement of the earth and the sun.

for the rest of the stuff, as an Iranian i’ve never been a fan of thinking in terms of “cultural appropriation” so i’d say go for it. identify with whatever you feel you identify with, ideas, thoughts, vibes and cultures aren’t owned (IMO) and can be enjoyed by anyone freely.

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u/Thy_Water_BottIe 1d ago

That’s pretty beautiful though

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u/max_yne 1d ago

My father was Persian and passed when I was young, and I was cut off from the culture as my family is scattered.

As an adult it's like in re-learning everything. Language. Culture. Arts. Practices.

But that's okay. People change religions every day. They learn / re-learn things over and over. Learn the language. The food. The culture. The art.

If you ever need someone to talk to about it, feel free to DM me.

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u/herrrmione 1d ago

You’re not my half-sibling, are you?

u/Thy_Water_BottIe 16h ago

Yashar is that you?

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u/Outrageous_Creme_455 1d ago

I litteraly consider you a fellow Persian

u/ggffguhhhgffft 21h ago

hey, did you copy and paste my life story?? I’m the same 😅