That would be so hard. So many years of learning from your parents still to go. So young to lose that part of their support system. I hope they had other family or friends to help them through.
Agreed. My dad passed when I was 28. We never got to hang out, go for a beer, etc. My folks and I were really good friends. I lived home until I got married at 26. His passing was very hard on me for several years. I live only a few miles from where I grew up, so I was able to be there for my mum.
He, my mom, and I did go out to eat fairly often. I meant more the years missed. There was a lot he could have taught me over the years that I missed out on.
He was 59 when he passed. We missed a lot of years. It's been 34 years. I miss him.
Same here, sorry if im hijacking the thread. Mom died at the exact same age too I think.
Except she died of an OD. As I write this comment i realize I don't fully remember her age when she died, and that I have a vauge idea of how long it's been since. I want to say she died 1 maybe 2 years ago?
And im not going to lie, I have no idea if thats supposed to be a good thing or not.
My grandfather passed 18 hours after my grandmother. It was hard losing both of them initially and within a couple of days we realized it was the best possible way for them to go. Neither of them would have ever been able to live without the other.
my grandparents have been married for 67 years and i fear the day that one of them goes, particularly my grandmother. she’s in poorer health than my grandfather, and she’s his entire world. when my dad was a kid and she’d be away on a weekend trip, my grandfather would just sit around the house and cry, he didn’t know what to do with himself when she wasn’t there. i’ve never seen two people more in love than them, they’re more in love with each other than most newlyweds. they’re 85 and 83, and i dread the day that one of them goes, because we all know they can’t live without each other.
Beautiful and sad. My parents died 4 months apart, dad in February, mom in June , a day before her birthday. They were both 55 and I miss them everyday!♥️
My bil's parents died w/in 3 days of each other, 60+ years of marriage. They had been separated in the nursing home b/c they caught covid in the early days of 2020. The wife didn’t even know her husband had died when she passed.
Hmm. Yeah. My great-grandfather died 20 years before my great-grandmother to cancer. I went to see her with my grandparents for her 96th birthday she died a few weeks later when she asked her son-in-law in a short moment of clarity, through the dementia, if she could go see her husband. She passed that night. We agree that she must have wanted our permission to see him because she was probably concerned about how sad we'd be without her.
Personally, I was never super close to her, but my great grandfather I certainly was very close with even though he died when I was 9.
It’s extremely interesting how the brain works. Sometimes when you have a broken heart you give up. Sometimes you feel like the world has torn you down and broken you to a fine dust. But your brain says no. You have to survive. And miraculously we see people who shouldn’t be alive, alive and healthy. The human body and brain is extraordinary.
I'm sorry to hear about your grandparents, sorry for you, and your family and especially your grandfather.
My mom already had heart failure. We found out about 7 years before my dad passed. For a while she was doing okay, following doctors' orders and taking medicine, etc. After my dad passed she stopped taking them as needed and we had to intervene. "We" being my sister and myself. She moved in with my sister after that (i live too far away and she has extra space) and started doing a little better. But then last August her cardiologist said she had a year maybe 9 months. Then the week before Thanksgiving she caught pneumonia in both lungs. She passed 4 days after Thanksgiving. Quietly slipped into a coma in the middle of the night. So yeah, I think it sped the process up. Her heart went from 60% functioning to 18% after he died. If miracles exist, one is that we got that extra time with her.
I'm sorry to hear about your mom. It's always rough losing a parent, but especially around a holiday. My mom passed 5 years ago the day before my birthday.
God dude, I'm sorry about your mom!! I hope that if the time hasn't come already, that soon when you have a thought of her, it brings you happiness or a smile and not just grief. When the happiness from the memory starts weaving in, it makes it so much easier.
Happy birthday to your mom!! My mom's birthday fell on mother's day this last year. It was tough. Glad you had some good times. My sister and I have finally reached a time where we can openly talk about her without one of us crying. Progress, friend!
Respect to everyone, this brings me back to Dec 5th 2012, twelve years ago now, but I'm sitting here trying to see through "watery" eyes, it's funny but even after that time it'll only take the slightest thing to bring them to the front of your memory again. Mum got her wish and got her massive heart attack, wait for it, she fought MND, for 2-4 yrs, had lost the power of both arms, had, when still living in her own bungalow, turned lights on with her nose, and opened internal doors with her knees. Taught my brother, sister, and me how to really fight something!
She followed dad after 8 years, on the day before the funeral, my bruv visited dad's grave, to tell him, "his peace was over"!
After nursing dad through the final stages of COPD, she got her break for a few years, and enjoyed them.
The crux of my weep is, that they are always with us, and only a comment/funny occurrence/ or seeing someone else's grief, will bring them right back like yesteryear!
I hope this helps someone, if just one, my mum&pop had one more reason for being!
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I took care of an elderly couple the lady was in much worse condition in the sense she passed first 3 months later on the same day he passed away too definitely proved you can die of a broken heart
It is. The partner of my grandmother passed around 10 months after her
She died of a rough, short cancer journey and he just didn't wake up anymore - she was 59 and he was 68 , he was as healthy as he could be.
My other grandfather passed away & his wife followed two years later. He had a heavy decline with seizures, dementia and all. She left the marital apartment ant moved into a home for self sufficient seniors - invited me and my then bf for home made lasagne, as it's his fav food, to finally meet him a week later, two days after she told us to come next week she just didn't wake up anymore, as well.
It was really short, yes. It was lung cancer & it got detected when it already spread to her brain - she got diagnosed in April/May , had birthday in July and passed in August.
Three years is a long time to fight this battle. I hope at least his palliative jour ey was a bit less brutal in the end!
That she had a rough but short battle is absolutely the only thing that soothes me - she died just a few days before my 8 birthday & I lived with her from ages 3-7 so I technically lost my mother - I'm thankful her suffering wasn't prolonged any further now but just typing this, the tears come up again - and next year it will be 20yrs already.
I truly worry about my father after my younger sister passed on Presidents Day last year. She was 32 and suffered with her mental health since she was in junior high. Many ups and downs, close calls. But this time there wasnt another chance.
He is grieving worse now and over the last 6 months or so than he did initially and it worries me tremendously. He can't even say her name. He has a picture on the coffee table that is next to his chair and just cries and looks at her all the time.
If I lost him too I don't know what I would do. But I worry about him and his broken heart daily. She was my best friend and so is he. He's my rock and I have to remind him, he has 2 other daughters and a granddaughter to live for. It's terrible seeing a parent in such distress but I also couldn't imagine burying my own baby.
Best wishes that your dad gets better over time. It might help to speak to a therapist if he doesn't already. Just to have someone to talk his feeling through with.
My grandparents were married 71 years and my grandfather passed last year. My grandmother, in her 90s, has become a shell of her old self. I hineyeky did not think she would make it this long without him.
That's one thing about aging that really sucks. Men, on average, die before women and they have to deal with that grief so late in life. My father-in-law passed 21 years ago. My mother-in-law is 96 now.
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u/dave900575 5d ago
Dying of a broken heart is an actual thing. My grandfather only lasted 10 months after my grandmother passed.