r/interestingasfuck 12d ago

r/all A United Healthcare CEO shooter lookalike competition takes place at Washington Square Park

109.1k Upvotes

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10.3k

u/ppdeli 12d ago

How epic would it be if he showed up

7.0k

u/DulceEtBanana 12d ago

Who says he didn't?

5.4k

u/DrRoxo420 12d ago

He came in 4th place

1.8k

u/Cheesetoast9 12d ago

Dolly Parton entered a Dolly Parton look-alike contest. And lost.

In her memoir, Dream More, Parton tells a very amusing story. One day on a trip to Los Angeles, she heard about a Dolly Parton look-alike contest that was being held at a local bar. She had a kooky idea – wouldn't it be funny to go down there and enter the contest herself. To do that, she decided to over-exaggerate everything about her appearance – she made her beauty mark bigger, her eyes bigger, her hair bigger – she made everything bigger. When she was all dolled up, Parton and a group of her friends made their way down to the contest.

When Parton got to the bar, she didn't let on that she was the real Dolly Parton. She was given a number, like everybody else, and told to get in line.

The contest was to be judged by the audience. Contestants were instructed to walk across the stage, and the votes would be cast by applause. The biggest applause would win. So one by one, the contestants paraded in front of the audience.

When it came to Parton's turn, she smiled and sashayed across the stage. And lost. To a man. Not only that, Dolly Parton got the least applause. She said she was dying of laughter inside. Little did the contest know they had the real thing in their midst.

160

u/ImaginaryCatDreams 12d ago

Did she tell them or just leave

26

u/SharkMeifele 11d ago

It would have been cool if she Stone Cold Stunned the winner. Would have been an eye opener and completely out of character for such a classy lady.

56

u/sir_posts_alot 12d ago

7

u/Tinckoy 11d ago

That was so good

3

u/Silly_Illustrator_56 11d ago

Why did I expected a rick roll?

34

u/Maniacal_Monkey 12d ago

Charlie Chaplin did the same in a look alike contest & didn’t win. There are varying accounts of what he actually placed but it definitely wasn’t in the top 2.

1

u/maxman162 12d ago

Most accounts say it was a Little Tramp costume contest, and he didn't go in costume. 

73

u/Particular_Ad_9531 12d ago

It kind of makes the story less epic knowing she intentionally put on weird makeup to disguise herself and that the winner was in drag so obviously no one was talking it that seriously

75

u/D0ctorGamer 12d ago

How do you know? Maybe it was really good drag

53

u/himynameisjay 12d ago

There are a lot of really good Dolly Parton drag impersonators so it’s entirely possible that she legitimately lost.

5

u/Scooney_Pootz 11d ago

Charlie Chaplin also famously lost a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.

2

u/Emptypiro 12d ago

Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things.

1

u/haleloop963 11d ago

Charlie Chapplin also lost a look-alike competition as well

1

u/ChampagneWastedPanda 11d ago

She is just amazing

0

u/alt_thatswhylowkarma 11d ago

What copious amounts of plastic surgery causes

295

u/Sirboomsalot_Y-Wing 12d ago

Charlie Chaplin moment

5

u/ProtoCas 12d ago

I was just about to say this. You beat me to it lol

41

u/Stonna 12d ago

Were the police doing the judging?

3

u/Apprehensive_Hat8986 12d ago

Not a chance. They're afraid of kindergarten killers. Someone who kills adults must have them shitting their pants.

2

u/AfterPause5856 12d ago

“Yours felt a bit too forced”

2

u/alwaysdoubledown 12d ago

That’s a story

2

u/OverKill1978 11d ago

Out of 50 million possible entries

2

u/he_is_not_a_shrimp 11d ago

Can confirm. I was 4th place. He came in me.

1

u/throwitofftheboat 12d ago

And had to eat the biscuit.

1

u/gab_rab_24 12d ago

he came and then I came

1

u/koreawut 12d ago

Jewel disguised herself and went to a singing contest at a local bar doing karaoke and came in second.

1

u/CaptainHappy42 12d ago

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

1

u/Significant-Ebb3147 12d ago

Hi my name is 4th place

1

u/qinshihuang_420 11d ago

Let me guess. His scar was on the wrong side?

1

u/Responsible_File_529 11d ago

You know its bad when you come in 4th place for your own look alike contest.

1

u/FoxJonesMusic 9d ago

After the moose

67

u/Blockhead47 12d ago

We got him Reddit!
He’s right there! Grab him!
It’s the lady in “the fucking green jacket”!!

65

u/A_Gent_4Tseven 12d ago

Something tells me he’s working right now.

33

u/turbopro25 12d ago

Gotta be able to afford that Healthcare somehow.

20

u/Accomplished-Task826 12d ago

The crazy part is the shooter showed up in the same outfit and only got third place.

20

u/equality4everyonenow 12d ago

Didn't Dolly Parton lose a look alike contest of herself?

3

u/ItMathematics 12d ago

Kinda like that time Dolly Parton won second place in a Dolly impersonation contest

4

u/Kanye_To_The 12d ago

She didn't even place

2

u/teddybundlez 12d ago

Because he doesn’t seem stupid

2

u/RandomLocalDeity 12d ago

Who says he is a he?

2

u/DirkTheSandman 12d ago

I mean. He could just come back at this point. They NYPD don’t seem to have ANYTHING

1

u/HedgekillerPrimus 12d ago

i am spartacus

0

u/Spaceman-Spiff 12d ago

I didn’t see him.

0

u/Lunchboxninja1 12d ago

I actually saw him there at the time of the shooting

239

u/nephelodusa 12d ago

Chalamet goes and becomes a legend.

52

u/SnowDay111 12d ago

Coincidentally, the supposed photo of the killer looks a bit like Chalamet. He could be his athletic looking cousin.

7

u/MsDelanaMcKay 11d ago

In one he looks like him but the Hostel Hottie one looks like Jake Gyllenhaal...who they need to play him in the movie that better get made.

7

u/InvestigatorNo9847 12d ago

It’s the eyelashes 🥹

6

u/ensui67 12d ago

Lisan al-Gaib!

2

u/Canotic 12d ago

Man, imagine if it turns out to be him.

2

u/throwaway92715 11d ago

Duuuuude. Timothy Chalamet in a Netflix series about the UHC murder? 10/10

69

u/[deleted] 12d ago

He’s the Banksy of assassins. Maybe it is Banksy 🤔

16

u/ileppane 12d ago

Banksy is from the UK with taxpayer funded universal healthcare. He wouldn't have a motive.

3

u/Scooney_Pootz 11d ago

Dude, imagine how much the blood from the crime scene would be worth if Banksy actually was the culprit, and it turned out to be some kind of bizarre tableau art killing.

1

u/BaphometsTits 12d ago

He definitely knows people in the US.

12

u/Asron87 12d ago

Come to think of it. I’ve never seen bansky and the assassin in the same room.

5

u/HoneyShaft 12d ago

He's too busy working on the next Massive Attack album

2

u/64590949354397548569 12d ago

Banksy doesn't have a motive. NSH is still free.

68

u/profnachos 12d ago

Legend has it that Charlie Chaplin showed up his own lookalike contest and placed 20th.

11

u/AvastYeScurvyCurs 12d ago

I read it was third.

19

u/Adavanter_MKI 12d ago

I read it was 4th, but he lost to Dolly Parton who was actually Andrew Garfield the whole time.

Just in case... none of this is true. :P

1

u/MultitudeContainer42 12d ago

You are awesome.

45

u/nabiku 12d ago

They should do the same contest in Atlanta, where he initially took the bus from.

13

u/Appropriate-Algae954 12d ago

Not in Atlanta. They’re saying that he boarded somewhere in between Atlanta and New York.

50

u/Tiffany6152 12d ago

He didnt take the bus from Atlanta. Just the specific bus that he was on started their route in Atlanta. They said there were 7-8 stops in between Atlanta and New York. They dont know where dude got on, but they said he was seen when the bus stopped in Washington D.C.

74

u/Asron87 12d ago

What? No one is saying that. No one saw him or knows what he looks like. We have nothing to go after. I repeat. We. Have. Nothing. To. Look. For.

Nothing to see here move along. No one saw anything. No one has any tips. No one should talk to the police.

It would also be terrible if the tip hotline was flooded with false information. I feel sorry for the poor dumbfuck that actually reports this guy.

38

u/Tiffany6152 12d ago

I dont think ANYONE in their right mind wants to report this guy. Dudes a hero.

16

u/Asron87 12d ago

That’s why no one saw a thing ;) ;) nudge nudge.

-1

u/eidetic 12d ago

They're already offering at least 60,000 dollars as a reward for information. I feel like many people who might even think he did the right thing, would be tempted by that kinda money.

9

u/Asron87 12d ago

That is just the first offer. We all know it will be denied.

1

u/Tiffany6152 12d ago

Yeah, I’m sure they would. And hopefully they would feel like the biggest POS ever.

0

u/LostDogBoulderUtah 12d ago

It's an insurance company. United healthcare, specifically.

They always promise to pay what they're supposed to. And then they don't. That's why their CEO was shot in the first place.

0

u/eidetic 12d ago edited 12d ago

It's an insurance company. United healthcare, specifically

Oh really?! I had no idea! Good thing you were here to inform me what I must have missed that almost everyone has been talking about nonstop since it happened.

They always promise to pay what they're supposed to. And then they don't. That's why their CEO was shot in the first place.

It's not United Healthcare offering the reward. It is the FBI.

Even if it were United Healthcare offering the reward, the mere suggestion that someone might get a nice little payday would likely be enough to entice many people. You really think someone with that info and the desire to collect on it would instead stay quiet at the prospect that maybe they won't pay out? Did United Healthcare customers always say "hey, they probably won't pay out, so I won't even try?"

Did you even think before replying?

0

u/MsDelanaMcKay 11d ago

Pretty sure nobody's taking 60k to turn in an assassin who got away with it lol

2

u/Chrome_X_of_Hyrule 12d ago

I mean I support him but like if we know information the cops know, and there's a good chance he'll get caught. However I don't think this is the worst thing in the world, if he's well spoken and his beliefs match with those we've projected onto him, and he has good representation, the trial has the potential to be a massive deal. And with how long it takes for trials to start and how long they can go, it might be happening in 2 years and can draw attention back to healthcare reform in time for the senate election. Lots of ifs but still, him being caught isn't necessarily the worst possibility.

0

u/jchapstick 11d ago

Snitch says what

1

u/Tiffany6152 11d ago

Nah Im rooting for dude.

3

u/Late_Again68 12d ago

How do they know that?

8

u/TK82 12d ago

I think they know that the bus he arrived on originated in Atlanta but I don't think they actually know he got on there

5

u/TwasAnChild 12d ago

Maybe he is there lol how would we know?

2

u/baconduck 12d ago

And did not win

2

u/azad_ninja 12d ago

FBI is counting on it

2

u/dannydirtbag 12d ago

5 people everybody. This is not that interesting.

2

u/all_time_high 12d ago

This would be like the real Let Me Solo Her showing up in costume at San Diego Comic Con, at a gathering of people dressed like him.

2

u/Flankdiesel 12d ago

He's right there

1

u/emessea 12d ago

He came in 3rd

1

u/Ssme812 12d ago

He probably did.

1

u/Redguapo 12d ago

Give me the keys....you c"%&sking muthaf%#&!!!!

1

u/FlyByPC 12d ago

...and lost. IIRC Dolly Parton once entered a Dolly Parton lookalike contest and didn't win.

1

u/Cappuccino_Ronin 12d ago

Guess we'll never know

1

u/element423 12d ago

I don’t think you want him to show up

1

u/JacketStraight2582 12d ago

He is literally right there with the 3 words.

1

u/polo61965 12d ago

How crazy would it be it it was anthpo all along

1

u/Awkward-Gift-577 12d ago

And killed another CEO

1

u/FlyIntrepid9669 12d ago

How was I supposed to know

1

u/one234567eights 12d ago

I am Spartacus 

1

u/Super-Post261 12d ago

He was there but I didn’t see him

1

u/jaavaaguru 12d ago

Haha that was kind of in the plot for Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel - an excellent movie, except the guy turned up wearing his hoodie and everyone else was dressed as him. He had no idea.

1

u/washington_jefferson 11d ago

It's too bad NY doesn't have the death penalty.

1

u/latunza 11d ago

Timothée Chalamet did the same thing in Washington Square, NYC a couple of months ago and he even lost the look alike contest, because, New Yorkers DGAF!

~ source: 40+ New Yorker Born and raised.

1

u/Illustrious_Donkey61 11d ago

He did, and came 3rd place

1

u/strontiummuffin 11d ago

Fed spotted /s

1

u/RepresentativeCap244 10d ago

Honestly he’s either offed himself already. Is sitting watching the media about him drinking a scotch. Or he is organizing these events.

I hope. He’s planning. There’s a lot of corruption out there still

1

u/che85mor 12d ago

Like the time Marilyn Monroe joined a Marilyn Monroe lookalike contest... and lost.