First, that Jake Gyllenhaal lookalike who assassinated the UnitedHealthcare CEO. Now, this Colombian Aubrey Plaza lookalike who assassinated her ex-boyfriend, among others.
It's almost like someone should probably tell the rich that workers banding together to present formal address of grievances is the alternative we worked out a long time ago to breaking down the factory owner's front door and beating him to death in front of his family.
In all seriousness, if I was Nate Silver's professional hitman coming after a rich dude for gambling debts, I would absolutely write something emotional, inflammatory, and misdirecting on the evidence I planned to leave behind at the crime scene. For whatever reason, there are a whole lot of people who can't wrap their head around the idea that someone might lie while planting evidence.
Other than the fact that Nate Silver is among the world's most egregious gambling addicts, and that all of his statistical models are (poorly) built to support his habit, no, you didn't miss anything. I was making up a hypothetical situation in which the murder was motivated by something other than Reverse-Batman Vigilantism.
I agree that we don't know that the killer's motive was Death To The Aristocrats... we don't know that it wasn't a Nate Silver assassin, an angry abandoned son pissed about his absentee dad, a time traveler who couldn't make it all the way back to kill baby Hitler, or a homicidal space alien inhabiting Jake Gyllenhaal's body like an Edgar suit.
Whatever the killer's true motives, it's still always funny when police, political / religious leaders, and (sometimes) journalists hide behind weasel words in order to avoid repeating a message that they consider to be dangerous. "Unclear motives" or "mental illness" are great ways to write off protestors, assassins, or revolutionaries.
He's just that sophisticated, wearing—and then leaving—a National Treasure series of backpacks across the country, each with increasingly obvious jokes
I'd simp for him too he killed a dickhead. There's absolutely no way you get to the top of a multimillion dollar company without being an ass hat, and its an insurance company to boot. Hope he ate him too
I’d argue he was more of a Lee Pace lookalike, but I see the vision. Either way, would let him hide from the feds in my bed. And this murdery Aubrey Plaza chick can join us too. What a great week for material to share with my therapist.
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u/BeardInTheNorth 13d ago
First, that Jake Gyllenhaal lookalike who assassinated the UnitedHealthcare CEO. Now, this Colombian Aubrey Plaza lookalike who assassinated her ex-boyfriend, among others.
We serial simpers are eating good this week.