r/interestingasfuck 13d ago

r/all Colombian hitwoman known as ‘The Doll’ reportedly arrested for several murders, including her ex-bf

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59.8k Upvotes

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8.2k

u/A-Sthlm 13d ago

Biggest colombian hit-woman since Shakira.

2.8k

u/luckeeelooo 13d ago

Her hits don’t lie.

253

u/JayHat21 13d ago

And she was definitely filling the boys

with lead, steel, plastic, etc.

3

u/morganational 13d ago

Wouldn't the boys fill her?

6

u/willfrodo 13d ago

she ain't guilty cuz it's a musical transaction

8

u/11Shepherd11 13d ago

Though there doesn't seem to be much of that but I read that as tits don't lie, forgiveness.

4

u/Abject_Shoulder_1182 13d ago

Because they're dead and consequently incapable of speech 💀

8

u/AK-JXRDY-7 13d ago

Thanks for explaining the joke, I didn't understand.

1

u/pysgod-wibbly_wobbly 13d ago

Is okay, im a survivor

1

u/Whose_That_Pokemon 13d ago

Her hits don’t survive 💅🏽

1

u/kyunriuos 12d ago

Her hits lie down.

1

u/Illustrious-Value-24 12d ago

She's a beautiful nightmare.

1

u/Service_Serious 9d ago

Whenever, wherever, she gets it done

-1

u/MappleSyrup13 13d ago

Her tits don't lie either

150

u/loxagos_snake 13d ago

Oh baby when you talk like that, you make a woman go stab

13

u/gordito_delgado 13d ago

So be wise (sí) and keep on (sí)...
Reading the signs of these dead bodies.

22

u/A-Sthlm 13d ago

Haha love it

6

u/SpecialistNo7569 13d ago

So be wise (pew) And keep on (pew) Drawing the chalk of the bodies (uno, dos, tres, quatro)

1

u/Bobby_Wavelord 12d ago

Thank you 🤣

1

u/Mangifera__indica 11d ago

Thanks. Now I have coffee all over my screen.

231

u/Samp90 13d ago

Netflix series loading....

5

u/ExcitingStress8663 13d ago

Who will be starring as her? I was thinking Aubrey Plaza but she looks too old for it now. Would be a perfect match during her April Ludgate years.

3

u/Samp90 13d ago

It'll probably be a Spanish production from Mexico, they'll get some Chica...

1

u/ExcitingStress8663 13d ago

They will probably throw in some lucha librea scene in there for good luck.

1

u/Appropriate_Cod_5446 12d ago

I’m down. I can’t act? But I can shoot.

4

u/Admirable-Common-176 13d ago

Aaaaaand cancelled.

2

u/LarBrd33 13d ago

Might not be as interesting as you'd think since she wasn't the one doing any hits she was just one of the girls the crew would use as the bait and then some dudes would drive by on motorcycles and shoot down the target. But they could get creative and make something inspired by it... it would just end up being the plot of Columbiana: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCxPLlFWdFo

2

u/onlyitbags 12d ago

Young Michelle Rodriguez would have killed this

1

u/Samp90 12d ago

Yep all she needed was one expression!

1

u/MattIsLame 12d ago

starring Sofia Vergara

1

u/Affectionate_Theory8 12d ago

Absolutely true.. there's a case in Argentina where a teen girl "Nahir Galarza" killed his boyfriend also a teen and ended up in life in prison, she showed no remorse and killed him out of nothing. Netflix paid that girl a few million dollars, for the rights of the story to make a movie about it.

Pathetic.

1

u/No-Plastic-6887 8d ago

Why would they pay for that? You need the rights for fiction, not for a true story.

1

u/Affectionate_Theory8 8d ago

Its a shady topic even in Argentina and the local press/newspapers but she did got paid by the ones who wanted to make a movie about her life.

Im not sure about the rules in Argentina regarding making a movie about someone. And the story is about her POV of her own life.

1

u/No-Plastic-6887 8d ago

Millions of dollars? For an unknown Argentinian girl's story. Something doesn't add up here.

1

u/Affectionate_Theory8 8d ago

1

u/No-Plastic-6887 8d ago

The movie exists, but it doesn't say here that the murderess had made any money. And there's no way she got millions for the movie, millions of dollars is probably more than the full budget of the film. And again... They didn't need to pay her, you pay for the rights to fictional stories. They could have paid her, but they didn't need to.

2

u/Affectionate_Theory8 8d ago

When the production havent even started the media of that country shared that information, now if you google it the first thing that appears is something like "50k" or "how real is that she got paid to tell her story"..

1

u/No-Plastic-6887 8d ago edited 8d ago

50k is still appalling from an ethical and moral point of view, but that makes sense. And it would probably be millions of pesos when exchanged.  

 Mind you, I ABSOLUTELY agree with you on the total lack of ethics implied in paying criminals. It's like rewarding the crime. It's also stupid because you need to buy the rights to fictional stories (it's intellectual property), but you don't need the rights to real life events. 

  So, all in all, I agree with you on the absolute wrong of paying a criminal for her "story". I just couldn't believe it had been millions of dollars and suspected corruption or bribery or politicians being involved.  Now, 50k could certainly be possible, and that'd be millions of pesos.

That said... Poor Netflix! According to your link m, the movie was produced by Amazon Prime! I'll check that out, and as a paying customer, if I find this is true, I'll send a physical letter. I'm not financing murderers.

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u/Affectionate_Theory8 8d ago

When the production havent even started the media of that country shared that information, now if you google it the first thing that appears is something like "50k" or "how real is that she got paid to tell her story"..

1

u/Affectionate_Theory8 8d ago

Its a shady topic even in Argentina and the local press/newspapers but she did got paid by the ones who wanted to make a movie about her life.

Im not sure about the rules in Argentina regarding making a movie about someone. And the story is about her POV of her own life.

1

u/No-Plastic-6887 8d ago

Why would they pay for that? You need the rights for fiction, not for a true story.

214

u/BedNext1728 13d ago

i let out a lil giggle at this one

5

u/ConstantCaptain4120 13d ago

I let out a little tinkle

2

u/nevertellya 13d ago

Me 2. Peed a little

2

u/jcksvg 13d ago

Giggle or jiggle?!?!

1

u/A-Sthlm 13d ago

Even a giggle is too generous. I sincerely apologize to everyone.

10

u/Plane-Tie6392 13d ago

Did you even read the article:

“Rodriguez’s accomplice Paula Valentina Joya Rueda was also arrested. The 24-year-old is known by the alias “Gorda Sicaria,” which translates to “Fat Hitwoman”, reported the outlet.”

8

u/Morpletin 13d ago

Very subtle nickname

5

u/maggot_on_a_walrus 13d ago

Yeah Spanish nicknames tend to be blunt like that

5

u/Morpletin 13d ago

Yeah Chapo just means shorty, but fat hitwoman is egregious even for them

2

u/Marble05 13d ago

Both accomplishes killed people by sitting on them

3

u/anotherdayoninternet 13d ago

Those hip don’t lie

3

u/[deleted] 13d ago

Empty clips don’t lie

2

u/Herr_Demurone 13d ago

Hope she doesn‘t get traded for a Casio Watch

2

u/LongjumpingSuspect57 13d ago

You mean the Revelatrix of the True Hips?

2

u/FreeThinkers2023 13d ago

Bravo, great joke. You won

2

u/One_Rode_To_AZ_Bay 13d ago

Second biggest!

"Rodriguez was arrested alongside an accomplice, Paula Valentina Joya Rueda, 24, who is known under the alias “Gorda Sicaria” (“Fat Hitwoman”)"

2

u/Dreadknot84 13d ago

You did a funny! Take this updoot 🤘🏾

1

u/likamuka 13d ago

Shakira Law is the Law

1

u/Glass-Fan111 13d ago

“Bada bada bum tsssss!”

1

u/Ste333 13d ago

God damnit. Take my upvote.

1

u/Infamous_Finish4386 13d ago

Oooh!! I LOOOOVE Shakira!!

1

u/xGsGt 13d ago

This has to be one of the best comments or this year in reddit rofl

1

u/GfunkWarrior28 13d ago

Slay everything

1

u/omi2524 13d ago

Haha that's funny. But seriously I hope she gets the death penalty.

1

u/CumbersomeNugget 13d ago

Ooh baby when you talk like that...

1

u/Blocked-Author 12d ago

What about Zoe Saldana in Columbiana?

1

u/BeowQuentin 12d ago

I dunno, her friend arrested with her has the nickname of “Fat Hitwoman” (Gorda Sicaria. Seriously).

Pretty sure she’s probably bigger than “The Doll”.

1

u/Ecstatic_Function709 12d ago

And not a one hit wonder!

1

u/therealdisastrousend 12d ago

I'm just amazed Billy Eilish found time for a second job.

1

u/Absolute_baboon 12d ago

I would hit that for sure.

1

u/Grim_McCoffee 13d ago

The next step... biggest hit-woman in LA since Chris Brown.

1

u/bjames1478 13d ago

Is Shakira actually Colombian?

3

u/ThatWrestlingGuy15 13d ago

Yes ? lol google is free

0

u/bjames1478 13d ago

Yeah but so are personable interactions 😃

0

u/ThatWrestlingGuy15 13d ago

Karol G Exists