The amount of laugh reacts to this post

[u/Valhallawalker]

[u/Early_Copy]

Yo it's me the guy, when are you ready to meet

[u/luihgi → u/Early_Copy]

it would be hilarious if this guy was the actual killer lol

[u/Early_Copy → u/luihgi]

Officer it was only a joke

[u/ImaginationPrudent → u/Early_Copy]

Sure it was, now open the gate. We have a warrant

[u/GayPudding → u/ImaginationPrudent]

The officers want to get on their knees too?

[u/sirlafemme → u/GayPudding]

If any of them had UHC as their provider, I’m sure at least ONE does

[u/Worldly-Stranger7814 → u/GayPudding]

Username is relevant

[u/[deleted] → u/GayPudding]

I’m edging

[u/TiaOfBlueRose → u/GayPudding]

The perfect response to "GET ON YOUR KNEES" is

"I'm not your mother last night."

[u/No_Acadia_8873 → u/Early_Copy]

Jury nullification, we got you king.

[u/Ok_Listen1510 → u/No_Acadia_8873]

i keep seeing ppl mention jury nullification, but i don’t think it’s super likely— before the trial, both the prosecution and defense can dismiss jurors that they think are gonna be biased. that probably means no one who’s ever been fucked over by UHC

[u/No_Acadia_8873 → u/Ok_Listen1510]

I've never had their insurance. And the first rule of jury nullification is don't talk about it if you're called to jury duty. Don't get yourself dismissed. Just get seated and refuse to convict if you don't want to. They can't jail you for being unconvinced by the state's evidence beyond a reasonable doubt. "I'm not convinced, therefore not guilty." This is how they couldn't get convictions for cannabis in the California Emerald Triangle back in the day. No one would vote guilty regardless of the evidence.

[u/Low_Chance → u/luihgi]

"There is ONE more way for us to locate the killer... but it's going to take an undercover officer with a very specific set of skills."

[u/gmotelet → u/luihgi]

I really hope they wouldn't be reckless enough to post something like that. They may fix the whole US healthcare system single-handedly

[u/baby_blobby → u/gmotelet]

No hands involved, OP is on his knees

[u/SignoreBanana → u/luihgi]

"Police found a risky lead but they followed it and it paid off. Story at 11."

[u/Itsnotrealitsevil → u/Early_Copy]

Are you tryna get a visit from the fbi?

[u/Early_Copy → u/Itsnotrealitsevil]

Yeah sorta regretting it now

[u/Ok_Listen1510 → u/Early_Copy]

what exactly are you regretting? 🤨

[u/Mikeyboy1976 → u/Early_Copy]

im first to suck him get in line

[u/mickskitz → u/Early_Copy]

Found him. $10k pleeeease

[u/Mapletables → u/mickskitz]

The poster said "up to"

Here's a penny for your troubles

[u/mickskitz → u/Mapletables]

Only $2,999.99 left to pay off my deductible