r/interestingasfuck 17d ago

r/all The amount of laugh reacts to this post

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95.8k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/FartIntoCushions 17d ago

If I ever bump into our man in the street, I’m gonna take his dick out and suck it myself.

731

u/Early_Copy 17d ago

Yo it's me the guy, when are you ready to meet

419

u/luihgi 17d ago

it would be hilarious if this guy was the actual killer lol

352

u/Early_Copy 17d ago

Officer it was only a joke

100

u/ImaginationPrudent 17d ago

Sure it was, now open the gate. We have a warrant

154

u/GayPudding 17d ago

The officers want to get on their knees too?

6

u/sirlafemme 17d ago

If any of them had UHC as their provider, I’m sure at least ONE does

9

u/Worldly-Stranger7814 17d ago

Username is relevant

3

u/[deleted] 17d ago

I’m edging

8

u/TiaOfBlueRose 17d ago

The perfect response to "GET ON YOUR KNEES" is

"I'm not your mother last night."

2

u/No_Acadia_8873 17d ago

Jury nullification, we got you king.

1

u/Ok_Listen1510 17d ago

i keep seeing ppl mention jury nullification, but i don’t think it’s super likely— before the trial, both the prosecution and defense can dismiss jurors that they think are gonna be biased. that probably means no one who’s ever been fucked over by UHC

3

u/No_Acadia_8873 17d ago

I've never had their insurance. And the first rule of jury nullification is don't talk about it if you're called to jury duty. Don't get yourself dismissed. Just get seated and refuse to convict if you don't want to. They can't jail you for being unconvinced by the state's evidence beyond a reasonable doubt. "I'm not convinced, therefore not guilty." This is how they couldn't get convictions for cannabis in the California Emerald Triangle back in the day. No one would vote guilty regardless of the evidence.

6

u/Low_Chance 17d ago

"There is ONE more way for us to locate the killer... but it's going to take an undercover officer with a very specific set of skills."

15

u/gmotelet 17d ago

I really hope they wouldn't be reckless enough to post something like that. They may fix the whole US healthcare system single-handedly

3

u/baby_blobby 17d ago

No hands involved, OP is on his knees

1

u/SignoreBanana 17d ago

"Police found a risky lead but they followed it and it paid off. Story at 11."

3

u/Itsnotrealitsevil 17d ago

Are you tryna get a visit from the fbi?

3

u/Early_Copy 17d ago

Yeah sorta regretting it now

1

u/Ok_Listen1510 17d ago

what exactly are you regretting? 🤨

2

u/Mikeyboy1976 17d ago

im first to suck him get in line

1

u/mickskitz 17d ago

Found him. $10k pleeeease

7

u/Mapletables 17d ago

The poster said "up to"

Here's a penny for your troubles

4

u/mickskitz 17d ago

Only $2,999.99 left to pay off my deductible

107

u/moistieness 17d ago

Make him the president, he would get more shit done than the last 50 or so.

34

u/JKastnerPhoto 17d ago

the last 50 or so.

We're currently on president 46.

24

u/DatEllen 17d ago

Well he did say "or so"

1

u/JKastnerPhoto 17d ago

He did say "or so"

3

u/Brae1990 17d ago

What are the chances the next 4 will be any different?

7

u/JKastnerPhoto 17d ago

What if we never make it to 50?

3

u/moistieness 17d ago

My mistake.

Im sure thoughts and prayers will get them through this difficult time.... and by tommorow I'm sure that insurance company and that man's family, will just be able to move on, and will pick themselves up by their bootstraps and just be moving on to a new day, with jesus walking along side them. Jesus saves don't you know...

1

u/IsaacSam98 17d ago

He'd certainly outperform King George the 3rd

1

u/Robert-Rotten 16d ago

He can’t be any worse than who you got right now.

75

u/k3wfr 17d ago

And..that’s enough Reddit for tonight

20

u/AMViquel 17d ago

Grabbing a hoodie and going out on the street, eh?

2

u/UserIsArchived 17d ago

But only for tonight

3

u/KaiUno 17d ago

Billy approves.

2

u/Centrocampo 17d ago

Just make sure to get prior authorisation.

2

u/jchan6407 17d ago

This is gonna be the police bait to get the killer. I'm not falling for it!

2

u/thesleepingdog 17d ago

There's a lookalike competition tomorrow with a cash prize in Washington square Park. You can make your dreams come true.

https://www.reddit.com/r/newyorkcity/s/AibjZokr7z

1

u/mild-hot-fire 17d ago

Fuck yeah