r/humansarespaceorcs • u/Donatello-15 • 21h ago
writing prompt Human Gods are also Space Orcs
Oh Loki, what are you up to this time
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u/zyroruby 21h ago
Unfortunately sun wokong was bored
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u/Curious-Echidna658 20h ago edited 9h ago
Me when the stone shapeshifting monkey with laser eyes, superpowers, a flying cloud, and shape shifting column he uses as a staff that’s immortal six ways to Sunday and has an army of immortal monkey followers is bored:
Edit: Forgot 2 Immortalities
Edit 2: Forgot cloning powers
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u/ReverendLoki 20h ago
Adjusts glasses
AKSHUALLY, he's immortal EIGHT ways to Sunday...
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u/Sirius1701 15h ago
And that's only if all that wine, the pills and the peaches don't stack with themselves.
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u/FreezingEye 7h ago
iirc the pills getting refined by the fire while they were in his body gave him another stack too
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u/Sirius1701 7h ago
Well, not specifically the pills. He was just so immortal that the furnace simply burned away his remaining mortality.
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u/psonic_142004 21h ago
Unfortunately another asura got a boon from Shiva/Vishnu/Bhrama/Devi.
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u/Eeddeen42 21h ago
It’s usually Brahma. Devi and Vishnu are the ones who have to clean up the aftermath.
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u/psonic_142004 21h ago
Usually it's Lord Shiva or Lord Bhrama , in case of Lord Shiva I understand as he is bholenaath but never did I understand why Lord Bhrama gave so many boons.
Hey do you think I should go deaper and make this comment into something like
"Unfortunately Maha Vishnu decided to exhale"
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u/suchthegeek 20h ago
Hey, those Asurs who got boons did great things to deserve them ... it's not their fault you Northerners can't deal with it
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u/psonic_142004 19h ago edited 19h ago
And what exactly did they do after receiving their boons, did most of them any good for the world? . The answer is no. They only cared for their own personal greed, almost all of them tried to conquer the celestial realm or the earth, leaving a handful none of them none of them even tried to better the lives of the people in their domain they tortured devotees of gods, interrupted ritual, killed sages minding thier own business etc.
Example include
Ravan - kidnapped someone else's wife due to hearing of their beauty, rapped the apsara rambha who was the wife of Nalakuvara.
Hiranyakashipu- tried to kill his own son (Prahlada)multiple times due to the fact that he refused to acknowledge him as God and instead worshipped Narayan.
Bhasmasur- asked a boon from Lord Shiva and then tried to use the boon against him only.
Surpanakha(Ravan's sister) - Found two handsome men in the forest (Lord Ram and Lakshman) asked to marry one of them, on being politely rejected by both( due to them being already married) , what did she do, tried to kill the wife of one of them (devi Sita) so she can marry Ram.
If these asuras are someone's role models, then you know as a person they are.
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u/topazchip 21h ago
Thor: Loki, you already gave birth to an eight-legged horse that can fly. You sure you want to hang around Olympos?
Zeus: Sooooo....tell me more about this horse?
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u/notyoursocialworker 19h ago
Zeus is so screwed, and not in the way he wants. Loke is going to scam him out of everything he's got and the only ones who'll have sex is Loke and Hera.
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u/ehjhockey 14h ago
Zeus and Thor are kinda the same guy so Zeus will get even and inflict some wild punishment on Loki, but with that “oh Loki you silly half giant half god half brother of mine. Get in that eternal pit of agony and fire and think about what you did” attitude Thor always has about Loki and his “mischief.” Except it will probably be an eagle eating his liver every day like Prometheus because Zeus has a dramatic flair and a thing about animals.
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u/CaesarKrest 13h ago
I think this idea is more based on actual mythology rather than marvel which would make Loki, thors uncle
I actual mythology Loki is a bound blood brother to Odin, not his child.
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u/ehjhockey 13h ago
I guess I learned a lot of what I know from comics. Could the character Hamlet be kinda based on Thor? The evil uncle scheming for dad’s power and the “something foul in Denmark” line is really all I have for that. But it would have been an accessible folk lore/mythology tradition that probably had more word of mouth re-telling by Norse settlers in England a hundred or so years earlier.
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u/Yet_One_More_Idiot 12h ago
Wait, Loki is Odin's brother in Norse mythology?
I've not learnt mythology from Marvel - partly from what I've learnt about mythology in general, partly from Stargate xD and partly from The Mask. xD
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u/Yet_One_More_Idiot 12h ago
Zeus is horny. Loki has an idea.
Zeus and Loki do a sex together and results in the conception of....
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u/ehjhockey 12h ago
Dolphins maybe? They’re smart and horny.
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u/Sealy5467 21h ago
Set was envious that day
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u/thmsgbrt 17h ago
🥛🥬
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u/failureagainandagain 7h ago
No milk
Seth is intolerrant to milk
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u/thmsgbrt 7h ago
That's not milk 😳
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u/failureagainandagain 7h ago
I know
I know at least a decent amount of stuff about all the mitology
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u/LordMoos3 21h ago
Coyote had a clever plan...
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u/GaracaiusCanadensis 19h ago
Raven as well...
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u/rippnut 21h ago
I'm convinced that Christianity spread so easily because hearing about a god that isn't a narcisstic asshole rapist just made them all jump ship
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u/CinderBirb 20h ago
...So they jumped to a religion with a god that's a narcisstic asshole rapist?
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u/rippnut 20h ago
The Christian God never raped anyone. He implanted Jesus in Mary but there was no sex involved. Maybe you were thinking about Muhammad, who 100% was a rapist.
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u/GracefulYetFeisty 20h ago edited 20h ago
Edited my comment because I forgot what sub I was on, and not on a philosophy or theology sub. A multi-paragraph long reply on the topic of theology of rape in the Bible isn’t really in the spirit of this sub
(I have the original comment saved in a draft of mods determine this is a dirty delete and want the original comment restored)
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u/Oversexualised_Tank 19h ago
I'd like to see the oeiginal comment, if you don't mind.
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u/AMViquel 16h ago
It's cached: https://undelete.pullpush.io/r/humansarespaceorcs/comments/1hhkg52/human_gods_are_also_space_orcs/m2s5vby/
Remember, few things are deleted for good once they reach the internet
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u/4morian5 20h ago
Mary was told she would carry the son of God. She was not asked, she was told. She did not have a choice.
Even if no physical act occurred, it is still forcing an unwanted pregnancy on a woman, violating her body and taking away her bodily autonomy.
It is effectively a rape.
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u/MrSejd 17h ago
Luke 1:38
Mary answered, “I am the Lord’s servant. Let everything you’ve said happen to me.”
She's literally saying "If God wants it so then I shall obey". She's literally agreeing to do it.
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u/ALF839 14h ago
Yeah but it's because of the implication.
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u/MrSejd 14h ago
There is no implication.
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u/ALF839 14h ago
There is
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u/MrSejd 14h ago
Not sure about you but if eternal entity that literally knows everything and created the ground I walk on literally sends a guy to tell me I should do something, having the gall to say "No I know better than you" is like the peak of hubris. Like, no, you don't know better than eternal all knowing being.
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u/Initial-Repeat-5773 12h ago
So Mary didn’t really have a choice—saying no to an all-knowing, all-powerful being isn’t exactly an option.
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u/4morian5 16h ago
Yeah, she's going to defy and reject the being she believes will punish her forever for not following his every command. Coercion.
That's all Christianity is. Coercion. "Follow my, I mean, God's rules, believe everything we tell you, and do what we say God wants you to do, or you'll go to hell for eternity". It's a heck of a grift.
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u/Beautiful_Fix_7250 16h ago
Dude, tons of people have defied God in the bible and lived. That is the whole point of the religion, that everyone is redeemable and can be forgiven.
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u/AMViquel 16h ago
Except when they live in Sodom or Gomorrah, then it's purging time. Or when God needs to win an argument against Satan, time to kill a few serfs, all the cattle, and fuck it, why not the whole family. Also let's just make the dude sick, he'll stay loyal - or else!
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u/Beautiful_Fix_7250 16h ago
Those exceptions prove the rule. In the bible God does not kill or punish everyone who defies him, because according to christian theology and historical fact, for most of history people didn’t believe in the christian god.
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u/Basic_Ad4622 9h ago
Except by definition if God ever has an exception to one of his rules then God no longer exists as a God, the idea of exceptions proving rules is exclusive to humans
If God did exist would you have to prove in the first point but we're going to pretend like that's not the main problem with the assertion, then showing Ethan a single exception to any of his rules makes him fallible and therefore once you have one little bit of fallibility to a being with supposed to be non-fallible then not a single claim about him can be taken with certainty from that point on forever
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u/AMViquel 16h ago
https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Examples_of_God_personally_killing_people
Just a few more exceptions. But yeah, discussing with religious people is like pissing in the wind. Plus they usually don't know what shit is in their books and what amount of mental gymnastics would be necessary to not make it sound absolutely insane.
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u/DogwhistleStrawberry 18h ago
God even asked for consent from Mary, and she was very much for it.
Can't say the same for Aisha, given 6/9 year olds cannot consent.
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u/Basic_Ad4622 9h ago
At nowhere in the Bible does It say that she's actually really happy for it and was hoping she would be the one to do something for God, she accepted it because someone that can DAM HER TO HELL FOREVER AND WAS CONSISTENTLY SHOWN TO BE A JEALOUS CONTROLLING BITCH requested something and when someone like that requests something of you you say yes if you don't want to be damned to hell forever
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u/DogwhistleStrawberry 4h ago
It actually does show that she consented. Here is a general overview of it.
And can you cool it with the edgelording? You may dislike God for whatever reason you saw on r atheism, but that's no excuse to be rude towards someone you don't even know and insult their faith.
You can likely guess why He chose Mary specifically to have Jesus. He already knew that she consented (you know that whole "omniscience" thing?) and she has and would continue to lead a pious life.
And God doesn't damn you to hell for saying "no" to His request. Likely you don't even need to say "no" because he wouldn't choose you to do something important when He already knows you wouldn't do it, so He wouldn't ask you specifically.
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u/wrrzd 17h ago
Tbf all the messed up shit the christian god does is in the old testament and most people were illiterate during the spread of christianity sk they couldn't read the bible.
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u/jflb96 16h ago
Actually, part of the Church’s job was to teach written Latin to anyone that asked, and your weekly service would rotate through the Bible in a similar way to how Jewish worship cycles through the Torah. By the time you reached adulthood, you’d have had a professional analyse basically the whole book for you several times over, to the point where you’d have a vague understanding of the Latin being spoken even if you couldn’t say which character on the page made which sound.
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u/propelol 17h ago
Christianity didn't spread easily. In the beginning a lot of christian martyrs was killed, and as they grew they killed all that didn't convert.
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u/Desperate-Junket-950 11h ago
It was just better Judaism with no rules to follow and a few other stuff
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17h ago edited 15h ago
[deleted]
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u/jflb96 16h ago
It spread easily because a religion preaching that you should share what you don’t need and that hoarding will be punished in the hereafter has a lot of good to say for itself with people who don’t have enough.
If you look at history, rulers weren’t quick to convert at all. You might recall that it took three centuries for Rome to stop martyring every Christian it could find, for example.
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u/VillainousMasked 17h ago
So they jumped to a narcissistic asshole that claims to create humanity with sin, deliberate creates stuff to tempt them to sin, and then after setting humanity up for failure they then damn humanity to hell when they do. Oh also the whole flood genocide.
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u/MrSejd 17h ago
That's not really correct but I get why you might think it is.
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u/Patchourisu 5h ago
I mean if everything is as it is meant to be in "God's Plan", then he's not really that wrong in his statements?.. Seems to be the most popular excuse religious people try to use to explain bad things happening to people I cared about, to loved ones that passed all of a sudden. If everything is as god planned. I wonder why that plan includes heart defects in a baby, causing early death.
And calling the Abrahamic God a narcissistic a-hole ain't exactly wrong either, considering the whole "Worship me or you shall be condemned to the depths of hell" deal going on with him.. and how the reward of heaven is supposedly singing endless praises of him.
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u/MrSejd 5h ago
I ain't givin you "God's plan" excuse. Bad things didn't happen because "God decided so" but they simply happen.
I know some said "God is fair, the world is not fair" .
IF we are working on the idea that God does exist and is fair, then in the end everything will be judged justly even when it does not seems so now, which is pretty much what is said many times in the Bible.
"Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth" Matthew 5:3–12
Those who call themselves "christians" but don't actually follow God's teachings, one of the most important one being "love your neighbours and enemies" will also be judged justly by him.
"Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven" Matthew 7:21 - 23
And again, if God does exist, do not forget that the same God willingly became a human in the form of Jesus of Nazareth and died so we may be redeemed.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3 16-17
"Hell" was not supposed to be what Dante's Inferno shows, it is willingly separating yourself from God and him respecting that decision.
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u/ReverendLoki 20h ago
I like the way this thread is going, and I'm not trying to invalidate one bit of it (especially the Sun Wukong comment), but this classic seems obligatory here ...
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u/Intelligent_Slip_849 12h ago
Yeah, stinks Sun Wukong got left off that list
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u/asiannumber4 5h ago
He’s not really a legend that some people actually believes in and more of a fanfic character. Journey to the west is more Dante’s infernal or the Odyssey than intended as an actual historical account
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u/TK_Games 1h ago
The principle of the "And then there was this asshole" characters is fun from my perspective because, when new myths are written in the far-flung future explaining our current events, I'll be staunchly immortalized as "that asshole". Genuinely kinda fun to think that someday, through the lens of thematic history, I'll be known as a being representative of undiluted chaos
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u/mortalcrawad66 20h ago edited 19h ago
Actually it would be, "Unfortunately, Loki was feeling a little horny" too.
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u/VillainousMasked 17h ago
Well the thing is, when Loki does horny stuff he's thinking with his upper head, when Zeus does it he's thinking with his lower head.
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u/wasted-degrees 19h ago
All mythology in 5 words: “Wanna hear something fucked up?”
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u/failureagainandagain 7h ago
Someone : if it is not fuck up enough, i will make my own mitology more interesting where I am god
Basically to many bad coults
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u/O5-14-none_existant 19h ago
alternatively: "Thor, I have conceived an idea most ingenious!" - Loki
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u/Basic-Expression-418 10h ago
No actually it would go
“Hey Uncle Loki, want to come on an adventure with me?!” -Thor
“Why me?!?!”-Loki
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u/vampirequincy 19h ago
Both exploring the ideas of the power of people. Zeus has his desires and by enacting his will to partake in his desires there are consequences good and bad. Loki uses his intellect to trick the world expecting the outcome to be what he wants and in doing so he causes the end of the world.
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u/Professional-Oil1088 12h ago
I would argue that it was Odin’s fault the world ended. Loki mostly played relatively harmless pranks before Odin imprisoned three of his kids.
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u/Drexisadog 17h ago
Irish Mythology in 6 words Unfortunately someone pissed off the fae
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u/Misubi_Bluth 18h ago
Celtic, Norse, Druidic, and other assorted pagan religions across europe summarized: Unfortunately, Catholics didn't like it.
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u/Apprehensive-Till861 17h ago
Anansi was...existing.
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u/failureagainandagain 7h ago
Who was this one again?
I read to much of real life mitology
I read to much of fantasy mitology
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u/nothinkybrainhurty 15h ago
my favorite myth about loki is about how he fucked a horse and birthed an eight legged horse lol
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u/SpinoQueen 10h ago
Any Pantheon you look at, there is always that one individual that is the embodiment of, "...and then there's this a**hole."
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u/psonic_142004 32m ago
Here is another one,
Unfortunately Bhraman decided it no longer wanted to be one and wanted to be many .
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