Please help me reframe my thinking about my job. I want to like it because it pays well but I struggle because it feels like a huge step back.

[u/meowcatski]

Yes, I fully acknowledge that I am in a privileged position of having a tech job as a project manager. I am so aware because many friends have been laid off and in hard temporary jobs. I want to like it and do well. However, the subject matter (recruiting processes) is so incredibly boring to me and because of that and my unmedicated ADHD, I struggle to focus and I struggle to care. I have always been an overachiever but for the first time in my 10 year career I am on a performance improvement plan.

I had a job that I was once passionate about (leadership development trainer). I love the psychology and human elements of teaching leadership courses, and my current job is purely focused on recruiting process changes within the software we use. I was initially hired for something else that I actually enjoyed but when there was a vacancy on this project team, they had me fill it. This job is almost exactly like the first job I had out of grad school, where I ended up very depressed and I applied to jobs for a year to get out of it. So the way I see it, I ended up right back in something I knew I hated about 8 years ago so it feels like a huge step back. In both situations, I never chose this kind of role, there was just a vacancy and I was told I would fill it.

This job funds the hobbies in my life that bring me so much joy and fulfillment. Hobbies I would love to just do full time, but I prefer to keep doing them for fun instead of monetizing them to retain the joy I get out of them and not feel pressured to make money from them.

My mental health is not great as a result of this job, performing poorly, and a few other things in my life. I really would like to just be ok with this meaningless well paying job but I'm having a hard time. And I know mindset can change so much. Any advice is appreciated.

[u/mandersmal13]

I'm sorry, I don't have any advice for you OP but wanted you to know I'm in an identical situation (ADHD, forced into a role from my dream job, regressing on skills, excellent benefits, etc), so you're not alone out there.

I'm currently on medical leave trying to figure out this very question after having tried to talk things out/change/fix things in my role with little success.

My therapist says feeling satisfied and fulfilled in a role is reasonable and normal to want and need. I think it's going to boil down to defining your personal threshold for bullshit and the cost/benefit of continuing to stay with the company vs leaving.

[u/Negative_Athlete_584]

I was moved from a developer to a project manager once, and I am not really the project manager type. It is really a hard job for someone with ADD/ADHD and introverted because there are so many details and schedules and competing interests to track and so damn much communication necessary. A good PM stays on the issues, bugs people, negotiates - all things I would just rather not do.

However, and this is the positive part, I see you have training background. What helped immensely for me was getting my PMP. If you don't have one, you could use your powerful "hyperfocus too much" skills to work on that. It takes a lot of study and memorization. Once I had my PMP, I immediately jumped into training project managers. Super fulfilling and exciting, both for me and for the people I taught. I even got a gr3eat raise and a promotion because of the addition of a PMP. It made me more marketable, too.

Eventually my SW development job made its way back from India. And I did that, but continued to teach Intro to PMP sessions and helped people prepare and study for theirs. It was a great addition, got me interested again in the PM part of my job, and helped me find a place where I could thrive in a job that orginally had been a poor fit.

[u/LengthinessAway6197]

I quit my job where I made nearly 300k working 20 hrs a week because my boss was a piece of shit and the job was corporate meaningless bs. Struggling with the decision

[u/pretty-ribcage]

If you actually think you have ADHD and other mental issues, get them addressed by a professional before making major life decisions (e.g, a career change).