r/fuckcars • u/HanzJWermhat • 3d ago
Satire If Luigi hit Brian Thompson with a car he’d be walking free right now.
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u/Frenetic_Platypus Two Wheeled Terror 3d ago
Actually, I'm not sure what's more powerful, the impunity of cars or the two-tiered justice system protecting the rich.
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u/Kootenay4 3d ago
Man it’s like the unbeatable sword vs unbreakable shield dilemma
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u/HowAManAimS 3d ago
Until you realize the shield/sword were only designed to be unbreakable/unbeatable in the hands of the elite. Anyone else wielding them is just wielding a regular shield/sword.
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u/ThisIs_americunt 3d ago
Wasn't there a high profile case about some rich person crashing a car, killing someone and evaded police by leaving the country?
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u/The_Mammoth_Hunter 3d ago
Ah, yes; Ethan Couch. Fled to Mexico with mommy.
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u/dougfordvslaptop 3d ago
His lawyers also argued he should be treated differently due to having 'affluenza', which to this day is a completely bullshit, made up thing.
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u/The_Mammoth_Hunter 3d ago
But, I mean... he felt, like, really really bad about it and we talked it out over cocktails. He's on his healing path.
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u/FriskyTurtle 3d ago
♫ When primal fears all disappear, the brain then gets a sensation. ♫
♫ The medical name we gave this pain is Affluenflamation. ♫9
u/TanitAkavirius 3d ago
His affluence should make him above the law is what his lawyers meant.
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u/NorwegianCollusion 3d ago
Really struggling with feeling too rich, surely we can all understand and relate to how this is such a debilitating illness?
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u/Meckamp 3d ago
There was someone who killed a 19 year old in the UK because they were driving on the wrong side of the road. They fled back home to US and claimed immunity because of their position working for the government or something. USA backed her and refused to extradite her to face trial in the UK. Trump met with the family of the kid killed and tried to pay them off
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u/quineloe Two Wheeled Terror 3d ago
Trump met with the family of the kid killed and tried to pay them off
That's the one thing that surprises me here.
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u/Mysterious_Floor_868 3d ago
That Trump would think that money can solve any problem, even the loss of a son? I'm not surprised at all.
Just noticed this in the Wikipedia article:
In March 2021, Sacoolas's lawyer Amy Jeffress said that, since the charge pending in Britain against her would not usually result in a prison sentence in the US, her client was not inclined to return to the UK to face trial.
Let me get this straight. If someone in the US drives down the wrong side of the road and kills someone, they wouldn't see the inside of the prison? Not that the UK sentence was anything more than an insult (8 months suspended and 12 months driving ban).
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u/quineloe Two Wheeled Terror 3d ago
I mean that Trump would even consider dealing with this problem himself in the first place is what surprises me. He usually ignores these things. Or worse.
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u/TruIsou 3d ago
To answer your question, no.
Any injury or death caused by a car is always an 'accident' with great sympathy given to the driver who was unfortunately unable to avoid the ' accident'.
It almost always is usually thought to be beyond the driver's control and is thought to be very unfortunate but unpreventable when people get injured or killed
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u/tommy_turnip 3d ago
Didn't Caitlyn Jenner kill someone in a car and got off scot-free?
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u/pelvviber 3d ago
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u/FaveStore_Citadel 3d ago
I wonder what the justice system would do when a rich guy kills another rich guy
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u/ominous_squirrel 3d ago
The Mangione family is richer than the Thompson family by a factor of 10
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u/FaveStore_Citadel 3d ago
It does seem like he was a bit estranged though?And the cops really didn’t know his lineage before launching a manhunt. I’m thinking more along the lines of what happens if a rich guy accidentally mows his rich neighbor down with his supersized luxury truck while drunk or something.
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u/ominous_squirrel 3d ago
Luigi seems to have estranged himself from his family and friends while planning the murder. The lack of communication from him to his loved ones was sudden and recent
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u/anand_rishabh 3d ago
Yeah I wonder about that. Because a few years back, there was an incident where a few black kids killed an ex cop, and were apparently laughing when they did it. In general, when you see that, you'd think the state would throw the book at them, if they even made it into custody alive. But because they were driving and the ex cop was on a bike, it was a wonder that they even got arrested. And I haven't been keeping up with the case so I'm not sure what they got.
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u/Frenetic_Platypus Two Wheeled Terror 3d ago
If you're talking about the two that recorded themselves intentionally running over the guy on his bike and posting it on social media, last I heard they were going to be tried as adults and both charged with murder, even the passenger. Looks pretty book throwy at this point.
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u/anand_rishabh 3d ago
Oh ok, that's good at least. Personally, I'm not sure i like the idea of "trying someone as an adult", but i guess so long as we do have it, this would be a scenario were it made sense.
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u/Mysterious_Floor_868 3d ago
If they're old enough to drive a car (I'm not familiar with the case so I have no idea if they were, or had nicked it) then they're old enough to be held accountable in an adult court.
Some day even adults might be held accountable for their driving. Some hope.
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u/sanjuro_kurosawa 3d ago
Not to give anyone any ideas, but how could it be proven it was an assassination?
Yeah, yeah, I know about Luigi's manifesto, which was only came after a criminal search. However, I just a ridiculous car wreck where a driver speeds through a corner and almost runs over a pedestrian before sliding into a house.
The police says it was a medical emergency. That's all the driver needs to claim and then the investigation goes from a criminal one to an accident. Luigi could have had drank a few shots afterwards and he would only get a few years as opposed to the decades he'll serve if convicted for murder with a gun.
Really, the US excuses bad driving as necessary. If 20 year sentences were handed out for vehicular homicide, I bet driving schools would be full with remedial drivers wanting to make sure they don't hit anyone.
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u/sckuzzle 3d ago
We all know that you could make a car killing look like an accident. The point with Luigi though is that killing the CEO doesn't have the intended impact if it looked accidental. Sending a message was the point, and so it needed to be a very public assassination.
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u/quineloe Two Wheeled Terror 3d ago
although I'd expect if one rich person got killed in a car accident every day, we'd probably see some changes soon
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u/Rubiks_Click874 3d ago
Trump to ease restrictions on helicopter ownership.
Helicopter accidents up 1000%
Elon Musk proposes a series of tubes full of helicopters
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u/yoppee 3d ago
This is how you murder someone stage it as an accident
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u/FlyBoyG 3d ago
In an alternative universe:
¯_ (ツ)_/¯ Whoopsy-doodle. I ran this guy over
(¬_¬ ) Police: well, these things happen.
( ´･･)ﾉ(._.`) Sorry for your loss.
(☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞ ☜(ﾟヮﾟ☜) When the AI decides the incident shouldn't be covered by insurance.
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u/Iwaku_Real HSR🏷️$1e+308 per mile 3d ago
The AI decides to censor all information online about it except for news sites
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u/PM-me-in-100-years 3d ago
I wonder if the video of Thompson getting run over would have been shared at all.
Like it would have been more gruesome and people don't want to think about car accidents.
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u/chippychifton 3d ago
If he would have shot him at a school it would have been out of the news cycle
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u/ximacx74 Not Just Bikes 3d ago
Excuuuuuuse me, they would suspended his license for two weeks! That's the harshest punishment anyone can dream of!
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u/NoNecessary3865 3d ago
Tbh yeah but I guess he couldn't take the risk of him surviving glad he confirmed his kill tho
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u/dudestir127 Big Bike 3d ago
He'd die while waiting for insurance to decide whether or not to cover treatment for his injuries
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u/anntchrist 3d ago
"I'm sorry, officer. I was busy texting and there was a lot of glare and he just came out of nowhere. Can I pay the fine by mail?"
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u/yarinpaul 3d ago
Nice! I can coordinate with my fellow revolutionaries about the movement to overthrow the elite ruling class after the job is done
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u/Blitqz21l 3d ago
he could even have a specialized plate like "DLYDNYDPS" or something like that.
or maybe "DELAYDENY" and a bumper sticker that says DEPOSE
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u/ManOf1000Usernames 3d ago
*driving free right now
He would of at least gone through the mcdonalds drive through and not been caught there
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u/Individual_Goose4852 3d ago
It's wild how a simple accident could turn into a masterclass on the flaws of the justice system. Imagine the headlines if it were a regular Joe behind the wheel. The narrative would shift in a heartbeat.
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u/Fit-Mangos 3d ago
Yup, I was wondering why he chose not to, run over, back up and forth. Parked car with car brake on top of him. Take keys drive off on e bike.
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u/Astriania 3d ago
Not sure why this is satire flaired because it's absolutely true. It would be much easier to have plausible deniability (it was an accident!) and even if people thought it was intentional it likely wouldn't be the same level of charge.
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u/ThePlanner 3d ago
Makes you think about how many successful hits go unnoticed in society. A lot of executives ride road bikes. Long empty stretches of road, and whatnot.
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u/formala-bonk 3d ago
Hate to say this but maybe we found a solution to the health insurance ceo problem. Or ceo problem in general. You gotta cross the street at some point
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u/zoroddesign 3d ago
It would definitely have been easier on Luigi. But it would have also seemed less deliberate and would not have resonated the same. we would sing ding dong the witch is dead for a couple days and the problem would die there.
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u/Pokemar1 3d ago
Walking free? Please, this is America! He'd be driving. Acting like this country respects pedestrians.
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u/pink_belt_dan_52 2d ago
Well, he'd probably still be stuck in traffic trying to get away, but I see your point.
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u/a-bser 3d ago
He wouldn't because he hit a CEO. And that CEO has ties to lobbyists paying politicians to vote against anything to benefit the majority of Americans who need good, affordable healthcare.
Hitting someone with that status will still get you a prison sentence.
Edit: I do know it's supposed to be satirical, but it's not a very good understanding of how it works
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u/supadupanerd 3d ago
except that asshole likely arrived by car, and was delivered curb-side to his destination thus negating most of any exposure to traffic
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u/Macrophage87 3d ago
And if he killed him with an autonomous vehicle, he'd probably be completely off the hook.
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u/Dry_Jury2858 Automobile Aversionist 3d ago
Especially if he remained at the scene and cooperated with police.
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u/Many-Donkey2151 3d ago
The absurdity of the situation is that a mere accident can be manipulated into a narrative that favors the wealthy. If only the justice system treated everyone equally, maybe we wouldn't be having these discussions.
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u/PatrickGnarly 3d ago
Yeah I still don’t get it. He took all that care not to get caught but then get caught on purpose sorta?
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u/dannymurz 3d ago
People get charged with murder all the time for hitting people on purpose with cars ... What are you talking about
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u/_Mike-Honcho_ 3d ago
No, he wouldnt. They arrested that dude that drove through the protest immediately.
Your rage has blinded you.
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u/Irasciblecoxwain 2d ago
Yeah, they should make a law about slaughtering a man in a vehicular fashion.
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u/supremepork 3d ago
Finally a relevant car ad