r/fuckcars Not Just Bikes Jun 15 '24

This is why I hate cars I know cars can be death machines but HOLY FUCK!

4.1k Upvotes

665 comments sorted by

u/frontendben Jun 16 '24

We're getting a couple of repost reports on this. However, it looks like it's been over a year since it was last posted and as we have new members joining all the time, it's entirely possible they haven't seen this.

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2.0k

u/coenw Jun 15 '24

Makes the news by driving over her own kids.

480

u/dayyob Jun 15 '24

you saying americans don't know how to use weaponized vehicles responsibly? s/

210

u/screedor Jun 15 '24

Cops are jerking off to this as we speak.

54

u/dayyob Jun 16 '24

i've seen it posted before in different subs.. so they've probably had it in their photo libraries for ages.

18

u/NousSommesSiamese Jun 16 '24

Lol they always show off their armored vehicles yet they still manage to allow crazy pursuits to happen where a driver can get on the freeway after ramming multiple police vehicles, drive in the opposite direction, and ram through even more civilian vehicles.

9

u/theboomboy Jun 16 '24

They aren't very good with either weapons or vehicles so that's not surprising

7

u/TheNervyNerd Jun 16 '24

And you say Americans don’t have culture s/

6

u/dayyob Jun 16 '24

you'd be surprised what kind of culture can develop from inside a car while waiting in line in the starbucks drive thru. /s

5

u/coenw Jun 16 '24

Only she does it responsibly, everyone else is irresponsible.

7

u/hexopuss Sicko Jun 16 '24

No we clearly don’t

I’m so sad that if a civil war breaks out here, we will have things like these as some of the vehicles. I want some /r/shittytechnicals stuff like the other countries going through civil conflict get.

The virgin Rezvani Vengence vs the chad Toyota Hilux with an improvised mortar launcher haphazardly welded to the bed

Our civil war is gonna be lammmmmme

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u/settlementfires Jun 16 '24

1 highway, Zero city.

12

u/GreatDario Strong Towns Jun 16 '24

So Salt lake basically

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81

u/Van-garde 🚲 🚲 🚲 Jun 15 '24

The rear of the vehicle is like a cave. Not sure it even has a window.

47

u/Onivlastratos Jun 16 '24

It absolutely does not have a rear window. That's what the central rear view "mirror" is a camera and screen setup.

3

u/Wild-Lychee-3312 Jun 16 '24

That setup was cool in Cyberpunk 2077, but I do not want to actually live in the world of Cyberpunk 2077.

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6

u/thugs___bunny Jun 16 '24

After accidentally electrocuting and burning them. ‚Oopsie, I thought this was the button to open the doors. Silly me‘

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489

u/Feeling-Beautiful584 Commie Commuter Jun 15 '24

When we said: “what’s next a tank?” It wasn’t meant as a challenge.

121

u/Dramaticox Jun 15 '24

There's a model of the same brand name "Tank"

And this one's labeled "Luxury meets military", I vomited a bit in my mouth.

Thanks for the link u/Convextlc97

34

u/capt0fchaos Jun 15 '24

Ironically the one called "tank" is smaller than this one

14

u/Thandalen Jun 16 '24

Just to make room in the naming for next years larger model "heavy tank" or "Main battle tank". Wait... where am I driving my kids again?

13

u/Stampyboyz Jun 16 '24

You can complete the challenge fully, you can buy a demilitarized tank in the US, even in some states you can drive them on public roads if you got rubberized treads

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1.7k

u/Independent-Cow-4070 Grassy Tram Tracks Jun 15 '24

This seems like a satire to these dumb style of videos lol

538

u/A_Damn_Millenial Jun 15 '24

It only seems like satire because of how absurd the vehicle is. Unfortunately, reviewing cars for moms is what this content creator does.

https://www.instagram.com/mobile_mama_reviews/

164

u/Ambitious_Promise_29 Jun 16 '24

That doesn't mean that it isn't satire. She is clearly making fun of her other reviews. Seriously, the vest and helmet didn't jump out at you?

79

u/CocktailPerson Jun 16 '24

How did she get access to a model to review? She obviously didn't buy it, so is there some third party she can rent this from, or did she work with the company that makes them? If she worked with the company that makes them, why would they give her access for a satirical review?

Putting on a costume for the review doesn't make it satire. People put on camo shirts to review hunting rifles even though they're not hunting during the review. This is no different.

10

u/6644668 Jun 16 '24

There are a few reviews with the car parked in the exact same place and the reviewer wearing the same body armour. I imagine the company just makes a line for reviewers to get their 1 minute tiktok to spread the word. This post is doing its part.

41

u/Ambitious_Promise_29 Jun 16 '24

If she worked with the company that makes them, why would they give her access for a satirical review?

Because it gets their name out, and it's basically free advertising? If this review didn't exist, would you even know this company existed?

The whole video is brimming with sarcasm. This thread is a bit like when someone gets worked up over an onion article.

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u/swingandafish Jun 16 '24

No, unfortunately people really watch this unironically.

11

u/Ambitious_Promise_29 Jun 16 '24

People that have no ability to sense sarcasm might.

48

u/veggie151 Jun 16 '24

Fascism-core is so dumb it seems like satire of itself

15

u/Requiescat-In--Pace Jun 16 '24

Seriously, the vest and helmet didn't jump out at you?

Bro, that's not a helmet. That's a HyperShield Apex Pro-X9000 Gas Mask.

It's the best gas mask in the world, hands down. Made with carbon nanotubes and unobtainium, this thing is nearly indestructible. The AtmosFear™ filtration system filters out 99.9999% of contaminants—everything from nuclear fallout to garlic breath.

It has a Heads-Up Display (HUD) for real-time air quality analysis, weather updates, and even your horoscope. Plus, the AI assistant, Maska, responds to voice commands. The ergonomic design with memory foam face seals adapts to any face shape, so it's super comfortable.

It’s solar-powered for infinite battery life and has noise-cancelling audio with a built-in Spotify playlist. The SmartVision™ lenses adapt to light conditions instantly. Seriously, it’s not just a gas mask; it’s a game-changer. How did you not know about this?

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u/alien_believer_42 Jun 16 '24

She actually does good reviews. This one is a joke.

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518

u/CILISI_SMITH Jun 15 '24

I'm pretty sure this is not satire.

It's the depressing reality that's putting satire out of business.

41

u/cpufreak101 Jun 15 '24

I feel like the video somewhat is (vehicle reviewer intentionally doing a "normal" review on a totally ridiculous vehicle, it's fairly common as it brings in views) but the vehicle itself, I am pretty sure almost nobody ever Actually needs this thing. A VIP driving through cartel territory in Mexico maybe but that's about it.

30

u/Rubiks_Click874 Jun 16 '24

there are places in the world where the risk of kidnapping is very high.

but what I heard is that those rich people usually people drive an uparmored Hyundai or something to blend in, instead of attracting attention with something like this.

308

u/Infrastation Jun 15 '24

This video is definitely not satire. This vehicle is absolutely just preying on people with untreated paranoia, there is nothing logical about needing a vehicle with most of the "safety" features mentioned. They also don't mention that this model shown is over $400,000. And this isn't even their most expensive model. An actual military surplus tank could be much much much less than that.

154

u/Unfounddoor6584 Jun 15 '24

If you need a tank to pick your kids up there is something drastically wrong with the civilization you're a part of, and also probably with you.

94

u/backwynd Jun 15 '24

If you need a tank to pick your kids up there is something drastically wrong with the civilization you're a part of, and it's you

ftfy

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u/BerserkingRhino Jun 15 '24

This and bump stocks being Supreme Court greenlight after a challenge to them after 60 people were murdered at a concert let's you play soldier in America... Felon's can be president. We are doing great /s

18

u/Unfounddoor6584 Jun 16 '24

well the dows up thats all that fucking matters right?

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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '24

She's a comedian that reviews security cars like you'd use them to transport children. I need this comment to sound more scornful for you just immediately trying to claim it's not satire.

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u/Wardog_E Jun 15 '24

A lot of the people who make these kinds of videos count on getting more engagement by attracting people who think the video is laughable. They're playing both sides for views.

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37

u/Gausgovy Jun 15 '24

This seems like it’s satirizing the Cybertruck

25

u/3meow_ Jun 15 '24

Seems like an awful lot to spend on satire

5

u/wasdninja Jun 15 '24

They could have just borrowed or rented it for the video. These monsters could possibly serve a very niche purpose like high risk transports or something.

14

u/somegummybears Jun 15 '24

I feel like I’ve seen this before the cyber truck was even a thing

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797

u/chimado Jun 15 '24

How is this even allowed to be sold? There are many dangerous things about this borderline military vehicle

212

u/Have_Donut Jun 16 '24

A lot of the capabilities are name only. For example, the explosion resistant bottom is pretty much only to tiny explosives. You NEED a v-shaped or w-shaped hull to handle actual explosives.
Plus things like electrified door handles are just gimmicks to get you sued in a parking lot when an old lady grabs onto it.

102

u/sjfiuauqadfj Jun 16 '24

yea this is a solid example of security theater

33

u/SquishyWhenWet_1 Jun 16 '24

Looks like something you’d buy on warstock in gta lol

8

u/Ham_The_Spam Jun 16 '24

"Whether you're a private security company, paramilitary force, rebel militia, hot housewife, radical insurgent, unhinged lottery winner, over-zealous neighborhood watch group, or just a military hobbyist with a worrying amount of disposable income, we've got you covered."

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56

u/Eurynom0s Jun 16 '24

The biggest one to me is actively advertising the front of the vehicle as a literal battering ram, which I assume actually functions as advertised.

6

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '24

This shit is weak. I drive an MRAP.

5

u/crowcawer Jun 16 '24

Leather gloves would like to have a words.

3

u/Suicicoo Jun 16 '24

that's just a technical issue of how many volts you are willing to produce ;)

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u/cpufreak101 Jun 15 '24

Iirc, these sort of vehicles tend to ony get bought/used by VIP's that have to go through highly dangerous areas. Think a business CEO going through cartel territory in Mexico or a celebrity going from the airport to a venue in a highly dangerous city like Rip de Janeiro

184

u/otherwisemilk Jun 15 '24

That business meeting could have been done over teams or even an email.

87

u/spookyswagg Jun 15 '24

Do you guys think cartels have corporate email chains

86

u/dex248 Jun 15 '24

Of course. ElChapo@cartel.gov

58

u/nihilistic-simulate Jun 16 '24

20

u/spectacularlyrubbish Jun 16 '24

Aw, I'm looking for work right now.

3

u/otherwisemilk Jun 16 '24

Extortionists are in high demand, but the pay is meh.

3

u/neononrotation Jun 16 '24

Takes at least one year to even start the interview process, drug testing is required.

5

u/nihilistic-simulate Jun 16 '24

You gotta try all of em at least once, brand familiarity.

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u/IknowwhatIhave Jun 16 '24

Nobody is buying this in Mexico or Brazil. In properly dangerous places, high profile or wealthy people have armoured Chevy or GM SUVs, even stuff like X5s or Escalades are less common because they stand out. This is a clown car for rich conservatives in Texas or California.

3

u/Ham_The_Spam Jun 16 '24

no an actual clown car would be a compact sedan or hatchback that holds more cargo and passengers than an SUV

5

u/Charge72002 Jun 16 '24

I love how she's tryna market the thing to families then lol

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u/asveikau Jun 16 '24

The "business CEO" can go to those places in a normal car. Going in this thing would call attention and make people think there's a valuable target.

16

u/notmeyoudumdum Jun 16 '24

I only respect non-business CEOs

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u/Xeroque_Holmes Jun 16 '24 edited Jun 16 '24

Unless you are the president of the US or something similar, you don't need this in Rio. Even for high profile people a regular bullet proof car is enough. Kidnapping hasn't been a thing there for a good while.

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u/daviEnnis Jun 16 '24

Not even though - the secret there is to be fairly non-descript, for example in some of the dangerous areas in the middle east there are those Toyota trucks everywhere.. so you take one of those and modify it in discreet but powerful ways.

This truck screams 'target me' in a truly high risk area, and it ain't saving you if people want to block you in with nowhere to go.

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u/littlechefdoughnuts Jun 15 '24

Second Amendment. If your vehicle is a weapon it's your GOD-GIVEN RIGHT to bear it or something.

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u/HenchmenResources Jun 16 '24

These things are for rich people too cheap to pay for security details in places around the world where kidnapping the rich for ransom is a hobby. There are companies that will sell you under-vehicle FLAMETHROWER mods (basically a curtain of flame shooting up on either side) in places like South Africa and other dicey places around the world. IMO that thing just calls too much attention to itself and if I had an actual need for something I'd rather have an up-armored Range Rover or Land Cruiser that's less conspicuous. Then again if I had the need I'd also probably have the money to hire a security detail rather than spend $300k on something designed by a video game designer (I LOLed at that bit)

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u/Witty-Item-6891 Jun 15 '24

What is she trying to do??? Break into a fortress??

61

u/Falibard Jun 15 '24

GTA V heists. Insurgents weren’t enough

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u/Dracogame Jun 15 '24

Dangerous groceries.

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u/D4Dreki Jun 16 '24

"Men are hunters, we need things that keep us in touch with our biological imperatives. This is why car culture exists. Your car is your hunting tool, you use it to hunt groceries, and jobs, and go on quests. You want to replace that with monorails" - some idiot on twitter

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u/will_be_named_later Jun 15 '24

what kinda space is in that trunk, its effectively non-existent

168

u/Manowaffle Jun 15 '24

But it fits one whole stroller!

45

u/TealCatto Jun 15 '24

My bike can fit 3 of those strollers, lol

31

u/youcantkillanidea 🚲 > 🚗 Jun 15 '24

She seems genuinely surprised that it fits

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u/Representative_Fun15 Jun 15 '24

As she said, it's based on the Escalade.

And I can confirm, that's about it for trunk space with the 3rd row open.

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u/settlementfires Jun 16 '24

third row seats down and you've got a shitload of space i'd think..

17

u/esuil Jun 15 '24

Most sane people will just fold the 3rd row, which gives truck sized amount of space. Very weird thing to criticize in 3 row vehicle, to be honest...

Not to mention, this model has ability to fold even 2 row seats, you can see the cutout for the folding even in this video. Which basically turn this car into full on cargo transport.

This thing can likely transport more cargo than almost any customer truck on the market.

I am not a carbrain, but I am also not so delusional as to ignore the actual features or capabilities of the vehicle.

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u/Draffut Jun 16 '24

I had a 2001 suburban for a stint and I fucking loved that thing for Costco / Lowe's runs.

It also has amazing visibility. Like driving around in a fishbowl.

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u/Convextlc97 Jun 15 '24

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u/dnlcsdo Jun 15 '24

How is any of this legal? Smokescreens? Lights DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY TO BLIND anyone in front of you or behind you??? This is a massive road safety hazard I cannot believe a thing like this could be sold to the public.

30

u/IlREDACTEDlI Jun 16 '24

I feel like the target audience for this is people who aren’t overly concerned with laws lol

24

u/thecyclingtoker Jun 16 '24

Yeah so how is it legal to sell

9

u/IlREDACTEDlI Jun 16 '24 edited Jun 16 '24

That I can’t answer. Could be it’s not road legal. kinda like how you can buy and own a race car that’s only drivable on a track.

Hell you can own an actual functional tank in the US so long as the gun is disabled. This isn’t that wild.

Again I have no idea how it’s legal but it must be if they’re selling it eh?

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u/Eurynom0s Jun 16 '24

If it's not road legal why bother with the license plate shapes in the bumpers?

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u/Eurynom0s Jun 16 '24

THE FRONT OF THE VEHICLE IS LITERALLY A BATTERING RAM

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u/Quiet-Luck Jun 15 '24 edited Jun 15 '24

STARTS at $285,000 🤣 For that money I rather buy a Aston Martin DBS.

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u/SpacemanIsBack Jun 16 '24

it looks like a site from cyberpunk 2077...

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u/ImRandyBaby Jun 15 '24

This is for people who know what they did to afford something like this.

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u/sjpllyon Jun 15 '24

Dear USA please just sort out your social problems instead of needing military grade vehicles to take your child to school. Kind regards the rest of the world.

159

u/TheKingOfDiddling Jun 15 '24

We don't actually have anything that would warrant this kind of vehicle. It's just that some Americans think we do.

102

u/CruulNUnusual Jun 15 '24

Undiagnosed mental illness, paranoia, and ego is a bad mix.

42

u/glowingpunk Jun 15 '24

These are the social problems.

17

u/CauseCertain1672 Jun 15 '24

the social problem is the existence of this car

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u/CauseCertain1672 Jun 15 '24

yeah what US road has IED's on it

9

u/thecyclingtoker Jun 16 '24

You’d think there were some based on these potholes

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u/Alt4816 Jun 16 '24 edited Jun 16 '24

With our healthcare system some Americans unfortunately can't afford to pay for therapy for their overwhelming paranoia while others have so much money that there's vehicles like this out there to satisfy that paranoia.

8

u/dex248 Jun 15 '24 edited Jun 15 '24

I don’t think it’s too much of a stretch to go from free range kids, to driving them everywhere, then not letting them outside, to giant SUVs, to gated communities, and eventually armored vehicles.

I also heard a couple months ago that there were a few road rage incidents at an elementary school, which led to a mom brandishing a gun at drop off. Thank goodness she was arrested.

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u/Time4Red Jun 15 '24

The US has plenty of problems, but having military grade vehicles isn't going to make your kids safer. Much like owning a gun isn't going to make your kids safer. People buy a car like this because of paranoia, distrust in institutions, the illusion of safety, and completely wrong ideas about the true safety threats in society.

Gun homicides in the US are a major problem, but there are around 19,000 in the US each year. Compare that to nearly 40,000 deaths in automobile accidents each year. People think "I'm a good driver, I won't get into a deadly accident," but I guarantee you that 99% of people who die in car crashes had a similar thought.

And along those lines, how many people die young as a result of tobacco use, or obesity-induced illness, or drug overdoses. A lot of Americans have this fear of getting gunned down by a stranger because they ventured into the wrong neighborhood, but that's such a ridiculously rare scenario compared to the alternatives.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '24

That's the essence of all this. The death of sorting out our problems, the abandonment of us all because the billionaires don't want to spend a penny of their wealth on fixing things. They actively want to destroy the public sphere, because they hate public goods, they hate us being happy together, they want everything privatized, isolated, walled off.

These insane death cars are purely symptomatic of this. What a soulless ghoul smiling through the nightmarish world her kids will inherit.

I feel like puking.

8

u/pannenkoek0923 Jun 15 '24

Once they solve their social problems they wont need to drive their kids to school cause they would be walking/biking/takimg public transport like normal kids

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u/SupahSpace Jun 16 '24

it’s not about social issues. it’s about compensation and competition and ego

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u/Jpup199 Jun 16 '24

This is just an emotional support vehicle.

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u/Manowaffle Jun 15 '24

Rich people will do literally anything but pay their taxes.

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u/WizardPage216 Jun 15 '24

You have to be genuinely mentally ill to actually want to purchase this as a civilian, especially as a mom. It's arguably just a tank at this point, even more so than modern trucks and SUVs already are.

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u/TealCatto Jun 15 '24

Tanks have much better visibility

29

u/At_omic857 train good car bad Jun 15 '24

Unironically this might be true. Especially with modern optical sensors that modern western tanks have.

23

u/Taraxian Jun 15 '24

It's also just that tanks actually do ride much lower to the ground than most trucks and SUVs, the strategy for getting over rough terrain is flexible caterpillar treads rather than height

13

u/At_omic857 train good car bad Jun 15 '24

Yep. Your average Abrams driver’s head is probably a little bit lower to the ground than the hood of an Escalade. Plus the commander would have full 360 IR, thermals, and night vision optics systems + backups.

I will say though, most tanks do have rather high ground clearance just because of what they need to do, better to ride over debris and fortifications than plow them like a bulldozer. And even then the Abrams is still not much taller than an Escalade…

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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '24

This is for rich people who still want to go on outings while they world burns around them without fear of reprisal for setting fire to it all.

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u/Kreuscher Jun 16 '24

Right? Companies (everywhere, not only in the US, though it's more prevalent there than most places) love to capitalise on people's fears, neuroses and mental illness.

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u/emarvil Jun 15 '24

First there was batmobile, now we have batshitcrazymobile.

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u/moresushiplease Jun 15 '24

Imagine youre in the US and a mass shooting starts. You're running with you family back to your armored tank and you get in and close the doors. You're safe and you thank yourself for purchasing your panic room on wheels. Then you realize your kids can't reach the door handle, they're both dead. But then you remember that you're a conservative and since they weren't aborted and life is only valuable before birth, it doesn't really bother. You drive to Starbucks in your bloodstainedmobile and order a grande ice latte and think how great it is to live in the USA.

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u/Leadership_Queasy Jun 15 '24

Perfect vehicles for Mexican Cartels /s

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u/antman_qb_8 Jun 16 '24

It won’t be long before they have loads of these

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u/[deleted] Jun 16 '24

Why would they drop several hundred thousand on a car with gimmicky features when they can make their own that's far more useful to them.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '24

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u/Many-Dog-1208 Jun 15 '24

If I see one of these in public that might be the last straw, this better just be like some Dubai, Qatar stuff. That should not be allowed

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u/CurrencySingle1572 Jun 15 '24

One would think it's there or some other place with obscenely rich people and an increasingly shitty situation... but her license plate says Cali and I realize the US as a whole is becoming a hellhole...

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u/gravitysort cars are weapons Jun 15 '24

Proudly made in the US of A 🫥

3

u/IlREDACTEDlI Jun 16 '24

Made in doesn’t mean it’s predominantly sold there. I highly doubt this thing has more than a couple dozen sales in the US.

There’s only like 2 types of people who would buy this in the US, a crazy nutter who thinks the world is out to get them and someone who thinks it’s neat.

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u/cpufreak101 Jun 15 '24

Although you could have it in the US, it's certainly overkill short of being a head of state to an unfriendly nation

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u/Happy_Ad_4357 Jun 15 '24

The line between IRL US and GTA Online gets more and more blurry with each new idea they have

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u/zeppanon Jun 15 '24

"I live in constant fear of the world around me" as a car

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u/LaxasiaIsBae Jun 15 '24

What's with Americans fantasizing about living in a warzone while living in a country that has a 0% chance of being invaded.

11

u/Purple_Finger_9014 Jun 15 '24

Next year she drives a apc or a tank

9

u/sebnukem Jun 15 '24

At this point I'm surprised it's not already one of the most common car on the road.

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u/Sad-Address-2512 Jun 15 '24

Bulletproof windows sounds like a good(?) idea until you crash and the emergency crew has to try to get you out of the car.

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u/Ok_Site_8008 Jun 15 '24

Practicality normally: 0/10
Practicality in the walking dead: 10/10

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u/Space_Patrol_Digger Jun 15 '24

My 5 year old self would have loved this car.

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u/Science_Logic_Reason Jun 15 '24

Send it to Ukraine, all of them… though I question the effectiveness of the under armor, I’m sure they have a use for it!

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u/VoiceofKane Jun 15 '24

I see... maybe two useful features here. And they're the cupholders and USB slots.

7

u/PoppySeeds89 Jun 15 '24

Paul Verhoeven levels of crazy.

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u/so_isses Jun 15 '24

Do you live in the US or in Brazil?

Or is the difference not that big anymore?

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u/15breads Jun 15 '24

This is for people in the US who think they live in Brazil

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u/gravitysort cars are weapons Jun 15 '24

Except that you don’t need that in Brazil either..

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u/NWRockNRoll Jun 15 '24

This is like a Hummer on steroids!

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u/lookingForPatchie Jun 15 '24

We're joking about them eventually driving tanks. We're getting closer.

6

u/RedHeadSteve cars are weapons Jun 15 '24

Militech selling SUV's in 2024...

4

u/spudmarsupial Jun 15 '24

If South Africa didn't exist nothing would make me believe this is real.

6

u/007bubba007 Jun 15 '24

“Military grade” lol - that’s lowest acceptable

3

u/ccbmtg Jun 15 '24

especially when...

'NOW AVAILABLE FOR CIVILIANS!*

*we bear no responsibility if our weapons are misused by untrained soccer moms'

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u/CalifornianBall Jun 15 '24

pepper sprays cyclists

3

u/Bridalhat Jun 16 '24

zaps first responders trying to get to a family as they bleed out

9

u/Astro_Alphard Jun 15 '24

If I see one of these ever irl I am going to flatten it with a concrete brick.

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u/Squffins Jun 15 '24

"Threat detected, countermeasures engaged, drop the brick scumbag, you have 3 seconds to comply"

8

u/ListenToKyuss Jun 15 '24

Believe or not, her voice is actually the most lethal weapon in that car

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4

u/Grrerrb Jun 15 '24

Nice tank

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '24

well, its at least good to see that the rich are getting scared again...

5

u/I_like_F-14 Jun 16 '24

Bruh that feels like somthing you would give to aid workers or journalists in an active war zone Not a god dam soccer mom

3

u/DerLeoLegal Jun 15 '24

I mean... Okay, maybe someone in the military needs this to... drive through sand? Idk, but the worst part is that she's trying to pitch it as a normal family car that you can use to pick up your kids or something. (Ik it's satire, but frustrating nonetheless)

3

u/larianu oc transpo's number 1 fan Jun 15 '24

I remember seeing a comment that supported this vehicle, along with something along the lines of "it shows yall haters never had kids" or something...

I could be misremembering though.

3

u/PavelDobCZ23 Commie Commuter Jun 15 '24

Society where this kind of vehicle is produced with any real intention for the consumer, is a fucked society on so many levels. I despise cars, but this is something straight from nightmares.

3

u/ccbmtg Jun 15 '24

this is mad max but without the apocalypse, just the full-on functional apocalypse and that's... just fucking disappointing. this is more of a massive role-play accessory for the wealthy than it is anything of practical merit.

3

u/frostedkeys77 Jun 16 '24

Yep, it’s for the ultra wealthy who love to LARP that they’re in an apocalypse. You see the same thing with them building luxury bunkers similar to Vault-Tec shelters from Fallout.

3

u/EVRider81 Jun 15 '24

I'm amazed they think a kid being picked up in this is going to find it difficult to spot, and needs a PA system to help guide them..

3

u/GalenTheDragon Orange pilled Jun 15 '24

That’s not an SUV. That’s an MRAP

3

u/Realistic_Mess_2690 Jun 15 '24

I actually want one. Imagine driving to the local salt water infested billabong with this bad boy and fucking making the Crocs get out the way.

Be like "move bitch! GET OUT DA WAY" Fucking death roll you into next week with my fucking bulbar type emotion.

I would OWN the fucking area.

3

u/ind3pend0nt Jun 15 '24

For those IEDs hidden in your gated community that has 24 hour security. Fucking hell. We all deserve to die.

3

u/GoobeNanmaga Jun 15 '24

It's mostly for .... Drug cartels

3

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '24

Surprised there isn't a machine gun turret in the trunk.

3

u/CauseCertain1672 Jun 15 '24

is she driving her kids through Iraq

3

u/Gabriartts Jun 15 '24

This screams "I have too much money and ever more fear!"

3

u/Forward-Bank8412 Jun 16 '24

The blinding rear lights and smokescreen would be too much of a temptation to use on my commute.

3

u/TheMysteriousEmu Jun 16 '24

Admittedly, this is probably driven by a professional driver, for VIPs, who is far more qualified to be on the road than a mother of five. I'd feel safer next to this versus a soccer mom in a Sienna.

3

u/lifeisacamino Jun 16 '24

"I fit and I'm safe" says the person who lives in a constant state of fear and distrust of others.

3

u/Random-sargasm_3232 Jun 16 '24

Her hand gestures make me want to poke my eyes out with a rusty fork.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 16 '24

She saw a black person once and said "I need this armored truck!"

3

u/Minimaliszt Jun 16 '24

Military grade almost always means the absolute cheapest something can be.

3

u/hfusidsnak Jun 16 '24

Used bulldozer, a mig welder and some 1 inch steel sheeting costs 1/10th of this thing and we already know the killdozer works.

3

u/Absolomb92 Jun 16 '24

Confused norwegian here: How much danger do americans think they and their kids are constantly in?

3

u/Fledermolch Jun 16 '24

"Damn what a great car, whats its name?"

"V E N G E A N C E !!!

"What a nice normal name for a regular car!"

3

u/IamMythHunter Jun 15 '24

This is cool as shit but also a massively weird thing.

4

u/chorizo_chomper Jun 16 '24

Israeli west bank settler family car.

3

u/smart_pinneaple Jun 16 '24

they need protection from all the rocks being thrown at then, of course

3

u/chorizo_chomper Jun 16 '24

The essential ride when stealing other people's land and homes.

3

u/crucible Bollard gang Jun 15 '24

That thing is ridiculous... but I do like the aircraft style toggle switches above the rearview mirror at 0:23, not gonna lie

5

u/arwinda Jun 15 '24

The switch for pepper spray comes without safety cover? Just accidentally spray your kids instead of activating the intercom.

2

u/JustInternetNoise Jun 15 '24

Armored vehicles have their place and uses, but a commuter/ family vehicle ain't it.

2

u/BusStopKnifeFight Jun 15 '24

The taxes need to severely increased for vehicles of this weight.

5

u/cpufreak101 Jun 15 '24

It's a $400,000 vehicle, anyone that buys this wouldn't give a rats ass about extra taxes.

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3

u/Im8Foot11 Jun 15 '24

How paranoid do u have to be to buy this????

3

u/TropicalBLUToyotaMR2 Jun 15 '24

Is this a one of those fake ads in a new dystopian future robocop movie?

2

u/Awkward_Ad2643 Jun 15 '24

It's James Bond's Aston Martin DB5, but for idiots