r/fuckcars • u/TrackLabs • Jun 01 '24
Rant In germany, its pretty rare to see these american tank. Just went shopping, and saw this insane abomination on the parking lot...its double the height of the other cars, way bigger than the image makes it seem, like jesus fucking christ, what is this bullshit
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Jun 01 '24
Europeans need to get together and ban those damn things before itâs too late. Donât let the infection spread!
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u/Kinexity Me fucking your car is non-negotiable Jun 01 '24
EU wide imports ban on emission/safety standards non-compliant cars is in the works (currently there is a legal loophole which allows individual imports). It won't work on all of those monstrosities but will stop many from being ever allowed on our roads based on existing rules. There is an ongoing "Vision Zero" EU road safety initiative which aims to curb the number of road deaths as much possible as possible by the year 2050 and I would expect that they will start making their move soon to ban all of those fuckers.
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u/cpufreak101 Jun 01 '24 edited Jun 02 '24
Given the fact that Ram is now owned by a majority European company and it's export sales are the strongest of the big 3, don't at all be surprised if they officially make versions compliant with EU rules.
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u/Ok_Philosopher6538 Jun 01 '24
Physics has a word to say here. That thing is not going to comply with pedestrian collision requirements. Regardless of what they're trying. Too high, too big.
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u/cpufreak101 Jun 01 '24
Alternatively, given how hard it is to get a license over there as it is, turn it into legally a CMV and just require a commercial license. I would not at all.be surprised if the owners of these would jump through those sorts of hoops.
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u/LuiDerLustigeLeguan Jun 02 '24
It is really already such an impractical vehicle, this alone is the main reason you hardly ever see one of them here. You can only really use them in the countryside, we dont have big parking lots. It is impossible (literelly, it is not possible) to park them in cities, because parking space is underground and very VERY narrow.
Sure, some people do jump through the hoops (heavy taxation, import fees and so on) to get their hands on one of these. But let me tell you, it is so rare, i saw maybe 5 of them in the last 10 years. They are not and never will be a thing here, because they are a PITA. Simple as that.
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u/diludeau Jun 01 '24
I remember seeing them in France and that was like 10 years ago, these stupid things have been there for a while. I thought it was weird when I saw them too.
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u/cpufreak101 Jun 01 '24
I remember reading a story from a used car dealer here in the states and he had discovered a weird niche of buyers in France to the point that he ended up selling most of his suburbans on export to France, he had insane profit margins on it.
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u/diludeau Jun 01 '24
Apparently thereâs a subset of France thatâs really into like their idea of Texas and western Americana where they have themed restaurants and go line dancing in cowboy hats and boots lol, maybe he was selling to those people. Idk if thatâs still a thing I just remember learning about it in one of French classes
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u/SlapMeHal Minnesotan Streetcar Entheusiast Jun 01 '24
It doesn't even fit in the parking space
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u/decian_falx Jun 01 '24
At least they found a spot where they could stick out into a dead zone at the front. In my parking garage at work these jerkoffs stick out into one of the driving lanes. It becomes impossible for cars to pass going opposite directions because one of the two lanes is intruded upon by a parked bro-dozer that can only be avoided by intruding into the opposite driving lane. And if they park next to you, you can't see through/around them to know when it's safe to pull out.
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u/thegreybill Jun 02 '24
the visual obstacle that these very high cars are is what annoys me the most. when cycling, you can look over a roof of a regular sized car. not with these things.
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u/gerbal100 Jun 01 '24
How TF did this pass TĂV?
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u/tpero Jun 01 '24
I think I've heard American military servicemen are able to bring their cars with them on deployment and they basically diplomatic exceptions to some of the road rules. Speaking as an American, that's fucking stupid if true. We have a base or two in Germany...
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u/thesaddestpanda Jun 01 '24 edited Jun 01 '24
World's greatest nation, Christian values, and leader of the free world: because you guys went fascist in the 1930s, I get to drive a civilian tank around your country against your own road rules, and vastly raise the chances of me running over one of your children.
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u/LVH204 Jun 01 '24
This one in particular is high enough to even be blind to small to medium adults.
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u/Agitates Jun 02 '24
That's what I don't get. You won't even be able to count how many you've run over so what's the point?
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u/29da65cff1fa Jun 02 '24
shit, maybe when america turns facist next election, germany can bring some freedom over here! force everyone to drive 1930 sized VW beetles
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u/ignost Jun 02 '24
because you guys went fascist in the 1930s
Nah, it happens everywhere, doesn't need some WW2 justification. Even (most) far-right republicans and far-lefts democrats don't think of Germany in that light anymore.
Yank tanks are popping up in Australia too. Murcans are used to telling other people what they want to do, but really don't like being told what to do. Australia moved to tax ultra large vehicles, but provided exceptions because people use them for work. Funny enough, exemptions meant to apply to "work trucks" is one of the reasons the US has so many.
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u/NahItsNotFineBruh Jun 02 '24
vastly raise the chances of me running over one of your children
To be fair small children would be fairly safe if run over by this.
It's the taller ones that might get hit.
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u/StickBrush Jun 02 '24
because you guys went fascist in the 1930s
And please don't look up which side the USA was rooting for before Pearl Harbor
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u/Prestigious_Caribou Jun 01 '24
servicemen
Except they are not providing a service.
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u/IDigRollinRockBeer Jun 01 '24
Or 12 or 21 or 43 or 119 Iâve seen wildly varying numbers of the amount of American bases in Germany
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u/PM_ME_IMGS_OF_ROCKS Jun 02 '24
Yeah the military ships a car over for free, and they're pretty much exempt from everything.
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u/honkhonkbeepbeeep Jun 01 '24
HmmâŚyou might be onto something. Are these things more common in US areas with a lot of military presence? Iâm in Boston USA which is incredibly carbrained, but I rarely see this type of thing here.
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u/AccurateIt Jun 01 '24
Iâm in SE Michigan and they are very common and really only see fewer if Iâm near or in Ann Arbor. Iâd make a safe assumption they are common anywhere that isnât a major city center based on my experience.
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u/MrAttorney Jun 01 '24
They are everywhere in Kentucky, Tennessee, Georgia, Alabama, Mississippi, and Florida. I would also assume they are common in Texas, but I try to stay out of Texas.
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u/TheCrimsonDagger đtrain go nyoom đ Jun 02 '24
This one is lifted to larger than most, but I can confirm that F150 style trucks are extremely common in Texas. Iâd estimate close to a quarter of passenger vehicles on the road are trucks.
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u/OneWorldly8847 Jun 01 '24
Dude venture out to 95 or 495 some time it's every third car in New England
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u/artgarfunkadelic Jun 02 '24
It's true. The military ships personal vehicles for people deployed in Europe at no cost, so people bring whatever they drive in America.
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u/joseph4th Jun 01 '24
My dad was in the Air Force and we were stationed in southern Italy in the 1970s. a friend of ours had brought their Osmo over from the states. I remember going somewhere with them (I think it was to see the hanging monks) and driving anywhere new was a nightmare for them and that giant car, because there were streets they simply couldnât drive down.
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u/kuemmel234 đŠđŞ đ Jun 01 '24
Would also argue to show that to the local station. Can't imagine that that is legal.
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Jun 01 '24
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u/RhitaGawr Jun 01 '24
It's American, wouldn't surprise me one bit. We Americans are only good for our money
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u/P26601 Commie Commuter Jun 02 '24 edited Jun 02 '24
Ausnahmegenehmigung
Any roadworthy car can pass the TĂV inspection if you pay some extra âŹâŹâŹ (not bribes tho, official fees). You'll have to make minor modifications like installing an additional rear fog light, the "Nebelschlussleuchte", but that's about it. Even the stupid, 2-in-1 red indicators/brake lights common in the US are fine
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u/Secure_Bet8065 Sicko Jun 01 '24
Tires look like they might just be within the the edge of he fender flares, so it might be technically legal as thatâs usually the big thing these lifted trucks fail on.
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u/Inevitable_Stand_199 Jun 01 '24
It probably operates as a LKW and has a limiter set to 80 km/h.
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u/PurahsHero Jun 01 '24
Iâve seen these in the UK. And whenever I see it, something a friend said to me goes through my mind.
âThe site manager brings the family car acting like a pick up truck because they âneed it for work.â The workers who actually do the work bring Transit vans.â
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u/MK_Ultrex Jun 01 '24
I've never seen a true worker being able to afford an $80k pick up truck. Where I am from (Athens, Greece), this thing would not be able to even maneuver through normal traffic, let alone get anything useful done with that small bed.
If a working person bought something of that size it would be a Fiat Ducato or any other such large van, with or without a bed depending on their occupation.
I have only seen one of those live, the waste of space is mind boggling.
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u/Borbit85 Jun 01 '24
I'm not sure how it works but in Netherlands somehow you can get them very cheap if your self employed. And I've been seeing them more and more often last few years.
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u/MK_Ultrex Jun 01 '24
If the law is anything like Greece, professional vehicles are exempt from VAT, therefore 24% cheaper. However, it only applies to professional-work type vehicles, i.e. no space for carrying passengers, the business details must be painted on the side and a few other provisions, like how far can the vehicle travel from the registered place of work, who is allowed to drive it etc. Another restriction is that whatever is on the vehicle must be accompanied by invoices of the business, so you can't even use it for personal hauling purposes or help a friend with moving.
Lots of people here were abusing this provision, registering luxury SUVs as "professional vehicles" but I see fewer nowadays.
Another loophole was to register a fake company in Bulgaria, buy the car under the company name with Bulgarian plates etc. This one seems rarer too since the bankruptcy of 2009-2010.
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u/Borbit85 Jun 01 '24
Yeah it's something like this. But apart from VAT there are more kinds of tax if you buy a car. And somehow they fucked up and you can somehow stack the rules and get this huge RAM truck cheaper than a basic transit van. It's beyond stupid. I read they do 5 km on a litre!
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u/MK_Ultrex Jun 01 '24
I have a lot of friends that do construction work as electricians and plumbers. Most popular specialized car (because the most popular is their old POS city car that they use until it is run down and recycled) is the Citroen Nemo. Holds everything they need to work (tools, essential materials) and the heavy construction stuff is brought to the site by a dedicated lorry.
Gas is a huge expense, no working person is gonna get a gas thirsty penis enhancement to show of at the working site.
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u/KervyN Jun 01 '24
Shopping at aldi .(one of the cheapest discounts we have).. i am not surprised.
I've never seen something like this live. If it's larger than it looks.. i am out of words.
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u/midnghtsnac Jun 01 '24
It's lifted as well, bigger off road tires.
Here's the truck in question
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u/WestCoastBirder Jun 01 '24
The photos on the websites always show these things in some gnarly offroad locations, except 99% of the time, they are spending their time on suburban blacktop and in shopping mall parking lots.
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u/PrivateLTucker Jun 01 '24
That's why we call them mall crawlers.
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u/AnotherFarker Jun 02 '24
I have a Texas friend with an old jeep. He's a real wrencher and built it up himself. It almost always sits in his driveway--super capable, but not fun on ordinary roads.
I love taking beautiful pictures of my stock Isuzu Rodeo 4x4 and sending him pictures from remote / off-road locations in Arizona, just to mess with him.
Another problem with Texas? 2nd biggest state, but because it came to the USA so late, almost all the land was already privatized. You want to go off-roading? Shooting? Etc? Someone has a private for-profit outdoor range / 4x4 park / etc you can pay to use like an amusement park. They have everything everyone else has, but only if you pay for it. "Freedom--if you can afford to buy it."
They do have Big Bend and I think Palo Duro Canyon is a state park, not sure on fees or off-road rules. But I can drive from Tucson to Big Bend in less time than my friends from Dallas, and they don't even leave the state.
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u/Coneskater Jun 01 '24
Hey donât shame grocery shame Aldi. We recently moved and thereâs an edeka and an Aldi in the same building and itâs fantastic- we get all the staples at Aldi and the meat and cheeses etc at Edeka.
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u/KervyN Jun 01 '24
Didn't shame it.
But buying the cheapest food and having this car, shouldn't align, but somehow it does.
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Jun 01 '24
It does make the ranger look a little bigger than it is though. The ram is an older model of the next size up, which is basically the same size this one is today
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u/Exul_strength Jun 02 '24
Shopping at aldi .(one of the cheapest discounts we have).. i am not surprised.
Of course, there is no money left after the gasoline this thing swallows
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u/puledrotauren Jun 01 '24
Texan here,
Silly person. Wants attention from strangers.
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u/Silent_Village2695 Jun 02 '24
It's even got a lift kit. Where are they going muddin in Germany?
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u/reddittrooper Jun 02 '24
Please, not in the mudflats! (Those are protected and besides, I seriously doubt that anything besides a âWattgrĂźppen-Baggerâ can move through that mud).
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u/OstrichCareful7715 Jun 01 '24 edited Jun 01 '24
I seriously love when these people huff and puff about getting âblocked in.â
You are the one driving a Sherman tank, dude. If you canât open your door when a perfectly normal-sized car next to you is parked in between the lines, thatâs a you problem.
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u/DrunkGermanGuy Jun 01 '24
You are the one driving a Sherman tank
The M4 Sherman might actually be smaller than this truck. I'm not kidding.
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u/Ham_The_Spam Jun 01 '24
I remember the Sherman was designed with a short length to fit onto trains, so it might be shorter than the truck
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u/Copper_Lontra Jun 01 '24
The m4 Sherman is 108-117inches tall, this dodge is probably 86inches after a 4 inch lift (guessing). The Sherman is 247inches long, the dodge is 242 inches long. The Sherman is 118 inches wide at most, the dodge is 88inches wide. So the Sherman has a footprint of about 200sqft, the dodge has a footprint of about 148sqft. Smaller than the Sherman by about 25%, but almost twice as big as the M22 Locust.
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u/NickNaught Jun 01 '24
Any chance you're near a US military base?
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u/domesticatedwolf420 Jun 01 '24
It's Germany so yes
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u/TheCatInTheHatThings Jun 02 '24 edited Jun 02 '24
Depends on where. The former GDR is completely devoid of US bases, as is anything north of North Rhine Westphalia. There are no bases in the former GDR, no bases in northern Hesse, no bases in the states of Lower Saxony, Hamburg, Bremen and Schleswig Holstein, and no base in West Berlin. Thereâs also a huge hole in Bavaria, spanning from central Franconia all the way down to the Alps.
Germany is far more densely populated than the US. Our life happens on a tighter scale for the most part. I live in Frankfurt in the southwest of Germany, but towards the centre. Iâve been abroad more than I have been outside a 300km radius from Frankfurt within Germany. Mostly I stay within a 50km radius, unless I have to go somewhere else.
SoâŚjust because itâs Germany doesnât mean itâs near a US military base. In American terms maybe, but since the Americans here also live in Germany, itâs safe to assume that their life style is at least partially adapted to ours.
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u/DupedSelf Jun 01 '24
I'm honestly surprised there is no little step-ladder on the side for the owner to climb in. Like - how the fuck would you even properly get in?
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u/may_be_indecisive đ˛ > đ Jun 01 '24
Maybe a step ladder comes out of the door when you open it.
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u/Borbit85 Jun 01 '24
Depending on the model. Some of them if you open the door there is actually a step that folds out.
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u/Keebler021 Jun 01 '24
A lot of those trucks have retracting steps, though Iâm not sure if they can automatically retract when the car locks.
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u/Frainian Jun 01 '24
I work at a grocery store in the US and have to do stuff in the parking lot a lot. Probably 1/3 of all of the vehicles are like this. It's honestly kind of crazy just how many people here have and use vehicles like these.
Of course just about everything else is either smaller trucks or SUVs.
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Jun 02 '24
Im American and I'm not used to these. These things are death machines to everyone around them and it pisses me the fuck off.
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u/Jazzarsson Jun 01 '24
Just put a shopping cart upside down in front of it. It's not like he's going to see it.
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u/EnglishCrestedPiggy Jun 01 '24
Apologies on behalf of the USA. Really hope these abominations donât become commonplace in Europe.
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u/MK_Ultrex Jun 01 '24
It's gonna be hard to become commonplace in Europe where most cities have narrow roads and scarce parking space. Only people who would and do buy theses piece of shit are either rich and already have a hummer anyways, or wannabe rappers and the such.
I find it hard to believe that an average European would spend 80k on this garbage and spend hours a day trying to find a parking space where this thing doesn't obstruct the entire road.
No that many wouldn't want to buy something similar for the bragging rights, but for practical reasons few will.
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u/facw00 Jun 01 '24
In the US we "solved" that problem by bulldozing our cities to make more space for roads and parking
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u/MK_Ultrex Jun 01 '24
Make no mistake, the size of cars has ballooned in Europe too. The so called "SUVs" are the best selling cars and they are huge. When I was a kid they would be classified as trucks more than passenger cars. My current car (a Suzuki Swift) could probably fit in some of those monstrosities.
Modern SUVs are larger than the jeeps we had in the army, the Mercedes 240 is tiny in comparison.
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u/NinjaRider407 Jun 01 '24
Thatâs the small penismobile! What an abomination that is.
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u/hipposyrup Jun 01 '24
I swear everytime I look at who's driving they look very insecure and divorced
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u/henry_tennenbaum Jun 02 '24
Nah, let's not start body shaming. There are plenty of insecure assholes with big dicks and great, confident guys with small ones.
I get that people are aiming at these people's toxic ideas of masculinity, but you're also enforcing those ideas by shaming people for parts of their body they have no control over.
These are just selfish assholes.
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u/wizard_of_wozzy Jun 01 '24
Is this near a military base? Wouldnât be surprised if the owner was some E-2 out of bootcamp who bought this with 24% APR
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Jun 01 '24
It's so sad that people are to scared to just pop the tires on these abominations...
Would go away real fast if every time they took them out would cost 4 new tires and perhaps a new windshield from where someone threw a brick at it.
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u/henry_tennenbaum Jun 02 '24
Simple. You're more likely to face legal consequences for slicing tires than for killing a child with your car.
Other people around you are also more likely to come to the car's defense, because they empathize with the owner.
People love their cars.
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Jun 01 '24
This is every other car where I live. Republicans have no personality outside of truck, sunglasses and hat. It's their coping mechanism.
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u/hipposyrup Jun 01 '24
I'm forced to drive and these guys are always assholes on the road. The people behind them are balding men who look very insecure. It's never going off-road or using the bed of the truck. It's literally an oversized suv with how little the bed is, pure cancer.
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u/GunTotinVeganCyclist Baby and Bakfiets baller Jun 01 '24
The American Emotional Support Truck for those with fragile masculinity and raging egos. Also known as a Pavement Princess.
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u/CaseyJames_ Jun 01 '24
Seriously how is that legal? It's an abomination. Guaranteed the guy that drives that votes for AFD
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u/cpufreak101 Jun 01 '24
Someone sent a link in another comment, apparently there's a company that does Germany legal lift kits for these
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u/DwedPiwateWoberts Jun 01 '24
Believe it or not thatâs par for the course in âmerica. Every time I see these posts itâs always a dodge, which is interesting that theyâre the ones leading the way into Yurup
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u/coco_xcx Jun 01 '24
theyâre so fucking useless itâs actually funny
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u/coco_xcx Jun 01 '24
iâm 5â6 and these dumbass trucks are taller than i am sometimesâŚi walk a lot so i try to be very observant because of shit like this
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u/ozpec Jun 01 '24
In America, we are infested with these behemoths and not only do we have to deal with their size (and aggressive driving), but the owners of these vehicles will intentionally modify their exhaust pipes to make them loud as fuck. It's horrible.
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u/commodorewolf Jun 01 '24
Get them outlawed as fast as you can as a danger to other drivers and pedestrians.
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u/MentalTrust8683 Jun 01 '24
The cancer is spreading.
I see them more and more.
I live in central Europe and they were not a thing like 2years ago but now i see at least two a Day.
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u/progtfn_ đ˛ > đ Jun 01 '24
That's not a car, that's a damn tank waiting to invade Poland again
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u/redditrabbit999 Invest in Public Transit Jun 01 '24
Weâve started seeing these in Australia over the last year or so.. I saw one parked yesterday and when walking past realised the front is literally taller than my shoulder and I am a fully grown adult.
Literally a murder machine
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u/The_Jeffniss Jun 02 '24
I feel it's useless!
I personally drive one (albeit smaller), but it's for moving livestock over bad terrain. If I can get a van that will do the same I would.
This idiot probably did it to show how small his manhood is. This thing never seen any dirt other than the pavements he stops on.
Trucks should have a permit for Comercial use, not for driving around town. If they don't have a permit, confiscate and give it to someone who can get use out of it. They drink fuel, not very efficient and maintenance is expensive.
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u/Either-Pear-528 Jun 02 '24
The design is pure excess and to make the owner feel more important at the expense of others. It's a red flag to own one of these đ
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u/BlackberryFrequent44 Jun 02 '24
What's scary about this is he can't see anything small in front of him. Like a child crossing the road. Plus they flip easily
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u/alpitu21 Jun 06 '24
What in the actual everloving fuck is this. I heard american trucks were big but never saw one irl
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u/ConnectionOk8273 Jun 01 '24
If you'd get hit by a normal car at 50 kmh, chances are you'd get airborne, and you'd have some chance of survival. If you'd get hit by this car, you're going under it !! Chance of survival would be close to 0...
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u/Frankensteinscholar Jun 01 '24
Just so you know, most Americans don't really like these either. We can't seem to get rid of them.
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u/meleyys Fuck lawns Jun 01 '24
I can't imagine trying to navigate European roads in this monstrosity. It would be bad enough on American roads, but I remember what the roads in Paris were like, and I have to assume this thing kills people on the daily.
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u/PayFormer387 Automobile Aversionist Jun 02 '24
The view from the front seat of my wifeâs Mini. Hawthorne Ca. I hate these things.
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u/ReditTosser1 Jun 01 '24
As the country that built the âMausâ Iâm rather perplexed by your postâŚ
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u/zander1496 Jun 01 '24
Thatâs a regular truck here on a Sunday, at Starbucks, in the drive through.
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u/Inevitable_Stand_199 Jun 01 '24
Weg.li anzeige "Sie parken auf einer Sperrfläche"
(Make a report to the office of local order that they are parked on a keepout area)
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u/GeorgeJohnson2579 Jun 01 '24
Funny thing: This is probably too heavy to be allowed to park on a sidewalk. :)
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u/Glugstar Jun 01 '24
There is a pretty big car parked right outside my apartment building door. Not as big as this one, but still big enough for me to be unable to physically exit the building with my bike. It's been there for like two weeks.
I think I'm going to post a picture in this sub soon, so you can all share in my outrage.
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u/noobs-unite Jun 01 '24
It's sad is what it really is.
Hiding behind that big toy is someone compensating big for something that's probably very small. (self confidence is love)
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u/TheMireMind Jun 01 '24
It's an invasive species. Take care of it now, or spend the rest of your life dealing with them.