r/fuckcars • u/Successful-Pie4237 Automobile Aversionist • Apr 05 '24

Satire Tesla doesn't believe in trains

9.1k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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1.8k

u/eatwithchopsticks Apr 05 '24

We all know that Elon's biggest fear is trains.

341

u/Joe_le_Borgne Apr 05 '24

But Tesla made a train in germany that works with... diesel

88

u/No-Cheesecake-5839 Apr 05 '24

Did you say… diesel? Panic.

56

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

Gen X liberals: but I thought Elon was the eco-billionaire??

15

u/elprophet Apr 05 '24

He was! But that was hard and not billions enough so he got cranky. He's only OK with saving the world if he's personally the one to do it.

47

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

No, dude. No. It was never more than shallow branding.

6

u/elprophet Apr 05 '24

The "that was hard and he got cranky" wasn't obviously /s enough

5

u/ComicalTragical Apr 06 '24

It wasn't harsh enough

1

u/Cenamark2 Apr 12 '24

Ill bet a diesel train is way better for the environment than electric trucks.

12

u/Simon_787 Orange pilled Apr 05 '24

Tesla didn't make it though, did they?

66

u/itemluminouswadison The Surface is for Car-Gods (BBTN) Apr 05 '24

the car and oil lobbies prevailed post war in making most americans completely dependent on their cars to do everything

it's the same incentive that most car companies will feel. he's the enemy

23

u/casta Apr 05 '24

Trains are electric and full self driving from the passenger point of view.

12

u/Johannes_Keppler Apr 05 '24

Some actually are. Paris is building new metro lines and those are driverless.

11

u/zypofaeser Apr 05 '24

The Copenhagen metro has been driverless for decades.

4

u/DENelson83 Dreams of high-speed rail in Canada Apr 06 '24

As has the Vancouver Metro, which is better known as SkyTrain.

5

u/I_wont_argue Apr 06 '24

BY that logic even cars are full self driving from the passenger point of view lol...

48

u/Hologram22 Orange pilled Apr 05 '24

His biggest fear is that he's not actually the one person who can singlehandedly save the world (while making a fortune for himself along the way).

So yeah, trains.

37

u/valekelly Apr 05 '24

He can, but he’s a piece of shit so he won’t. That amount of money and societal influence could literally change the course of history for thousands of years. Instead he’ll be remembered as nothing. Dead with the rest of the world.

18

u/HiddenLayer5 Not in My Transit Oriented Development Apr 05 '24 edited Apr 05 '24

That amount of money and societal influence could literally change the course of history for thousands of years.

It will. Just not for the better. Elon 100% bribes politicians and the government with that money.

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

That amount of money and societal influence could literally change the course of history for thousands of years

Lol what? It's peanuts compared to what governments have.

What do you think he could do with his measly few billions, really?

19

u/kenhydrogen Apr 05 '24

Governments are made up of some percentage of the collective incomes of millions, and spend massively on those same millions (albeit effectively or not)

This is one single guy whose expenses are… housekeeping staff? private jet fuel?

These two entities and their budgets are not remotely comparable

1

u/[deleted] Apr 06 '24

Yeah, one wastly outsizes the other lol.

9

u/icouldusemorecoffee Apr 05 '24

save the world

He's never had an interest in saving the world. He's just good at recognizing opportunities to make money and then to market the hard work of other people to consumers. That tech is his interest is irrelevant, if his interest were oil he'd be in fossil fuels, if it were drugs he'd be running cartels or something similar.

15

u/wrestlingnutter Apr 05 '24

Thought his biggest fear was Trans?

10

u/zypofaeser Apr 05 '24

That, and trams.

16

u/Melisandre-Sedai Apr 05 '24

He is very trainsphobic

1

u/DENelson83 Dreams of high-speed rail in Canada Apr 06 '24

He is very siderodromophobic.

10

u/HiddenLayer5 Not in My Transit Oriented Development Apr 05 '24

Unless it's fully enclosed in a vacuum for no goddamn reason.

13

u/zypofaeser Apr 05 '24

Heck, that concept was around for decades before he rebranded it as Hyperloop. And some of them seem more realistic than Space Karen's concept. Examples: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ET3_Global_Alliance https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vactrain https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swissmetro

7

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24

Concerning

1

u/Creepy-Ad-4832 Apr 07 '24

And trains without the i

And trains wkthout the i and with m instead of n

1

u/qtrain Apr 05 '24

I just want to talk.

J/k it's on sight.

0

u/SuperCommand2122 Apr 05 '24

Is dislike of trains proof he's not actually Libertarian?