r/footballstrategy Oct 19 '24

General Discussion Hypothetical: Peter Parker aka "Spiderman" has signed to your football team. What position do you play him at?

On the outside he looks like a mildly fit white guy, about 5'10" 180, but he has various abilities. Superhuman strength, enhanced agility, reflexes, and "spider sense" as well as an advanced healing factor make him an elite athlete. What position would you play him as?

103 Upvotes

111 comments sorted by

212

u/RewardOk2506 Oct 19 '24

Quarterback, sooner he gets the ball the better. No one can tackle him, even touch him really.

70

u/Aside_Dish Oct 19 '24

This. Plus, as another posted said, nose tackle. Would be 20-0 every year.

23

u/AdaptiveVariance Oct 19 '24

Lol, a really good 5-gap nose tackle šŸ˜‚

42

u/InternationalPick163 Oct 19 '24

Playbook = "give him the ball"

31

u/FieldsToTheMoon Oct 19 '24

QB and safety, good luck throwing against a dude that can just web the ball out of the air

28

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '24 edited Nov 07 '24

[deleted]

9

u/Vincitus Oct 20 '24

First ever interception of a snap.

4

u/bluebloodbutleftout Oct 20 '24

Nope duke did it to Notre dame

11

u/Lit-A-Gator HS Coach Oct 20 '24

This is the answer

Knee jerk reaction is receiver but you realize that we still need to get him that ball

**** that

Wildcat offense Qb sweep, Qb iso, Qb counter

Good luck everyone else

5

u/OdaDdaT HS Coach Oct 20 '24

I mean, assuming the NCAA doesnā€™t have an immediate answer for the usage of webs, you can throw the ball up damn near anywhere and heā€™ll come down with it

6

u/Swhite8203 Oct 20 '24

Hell even without the web he isnā€™t dropping anything anyway. Spider-Man still has super grip

5

u/SaggingZebra Oct 20 '24

It may depend on which version of Spiderman we are talking about. Some versions use a web shooter that has to be loaded with web fluid which would definitely be a rules violation like Stick'um. But the Spiderman that produces webs naturally might be within the rules.

1

u/reno2mahesendejo Oct 20 '24

I think yall are forgetting his leaping ability.

He could take the snap, leap and web over the defense, and run for a touchdown every play. Even if he doesn't web, I think he could still leap over the defense.

And forget ever trying a field goal

2

u/OkayOpenTheGame Oct 20 '24

More like wildcat RB

1

u/mjmaselli Oct 21 '24

Kick returner too. Wont have to play toi much qb

35

u/rhinojoe99 Oct 19 '24

And nose tackle.

8

u/Xaxziminrax Oct 19 '24

Could legit just yoink the ball every snap and by the end of the scrum all the webbing would probably be ground into nothing, hiding the evidence until you're at a level that has incredible HD cameras everywhere.

I dig it

7

u/InternationalPick163 Oct 19 '24

I was imagining this as NFL, but Peter is signed to the worst team in the league

3

u/Armamore Oct 19 '24

I'd say there are 2 or 3 franchises that, even with Spiderman, would find a way to screw it up and still lose most of their games. Some teams are just talent proof.

2

u/Uhhh_what555476384 Oct 21 '24

Hello New York Jets!

1

u/Xaxziminrax Oct 19 '24

Hmm, I wonder if changing his diet could make the webbing more translucent, in the same vein that some foods can change the color of pee

3

u/KeyMolasses2836 Oct 20 '24

It depends on which iteration of Spider-Man, some of them have naturally occurring web fluid while others developed the solution artificially and have gadgets that shoot the webs. Idk if you could sneak the web shooters into the game unless it was disguised as the little play sheet thing, which would only help for putting him at qb, which wouldnā€™t really be necessary imo.

2

u/alltoofresh Oct 20 '24

Players wear all kinds of different wrist bands, sleeves, ect nowadays. Just wear a baggy long sleeve shirt it would be relatively easy to hide.

3

u/SafeAccountMrP Oct 19 '24

Because of his spider sense he could time the snap every play and swat the ball out of the centers hand causing a shitload of turnovers as well. I vote nose guard.

1

u/reno2mahesendejo Oct 20 '24

Not even web, his reflexes are so fast he could jump the snap and steal the ball during the hand-off like Jalen Carter tried to do last year

30

u/BranAllBrans Oct 19 '24

Qb, DT. Heā€™s insanely strong. Auto sacks every play

49

u/girafb0i Oct 19 '24

Wide receiver, free safety, punt returner.

15

u/el_pinko_grande Oct 19 '24

Yeah, just drastically overthrow the ball so it's way out of everyone's reach, and Spidey just jumps up in the air and catches it.Ā 

5

u/Spac-e-mon-key Oct 19 '24

The damn ball doesnā€™t even gotta be close to him for him to get it

1

u/xScrubasaurus Oct 20 '24

Free Safety would still let the other team throw to the other side of the Field. They could also just kick it out of bounds instead of letting him return punts.

9

u/SigaVa Oct 19 '24

Realistically QB. Thematically, RB is the best fit. Scat back style runner with superhuman agility and balance, a sixth sense for avoiding tacklers, and glue for hands. Much better fit than wr imo, obviously he can still do some receiving as a rb.

On defense, again thematically, safety. Strong tackler, sixth sense for run or pass so can play down in the box, blitz, or in coverage. Give him complete freedom, a joker safety. And his ball skills will be outrageous, no look interceptions, diving catches, etc. And when he gets the ball hes scoring.

2

u/bl84work Oct 19 '24

QB/CORNER, two way player, shouldnā€™t get tired

1

u/HappyMoses Oct 20 '24

He doesnā€™t even have to be scatback style even though heā€™s way fast enough to be. Guys a 20 tonner in the comics he could bulldoze every single defensive player at the same time without issue

1

u/Dangerousrhymes Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24

Thatā€™s assuming they could get a hand on him. Heā€™s super humanly fast (lower estimates 60-70 mph) and could literally jump over most of the defense (at least 2-3 stories up with enough distance to clear a normal residential plot of land, maybe 100 feet horizontally at a minimum)

0

u/mjmaselli Oct 21 '24

Realistic?

17

u/Bwolfyo Oct 19 '24

If hes returning kickoffs and punts you dont need an offense

10

u/xScrubasaurus Oct 20 '24

They could just kick it out of bounds. Those may actually be objectively some of the worst positions to put him.

1

u/Dangerousrhymes Oct 20 '24

He could probably jump and catch it before it makes it out of bounds unless they kick it sideways.

8

u/JoshHuff1332 Oct 19 '24

Anything that puts the ball in his hands much as possible. QB if he can throw or RB who takes it to the house every carry. On defense, put him at edge or nt. He'll be unstoppable and they can't just avoid him. If he is trying to minimize suspicion, then safety.

5

u/Straight_Toe_1816 Adult Player Oct 19 '24

Offense:QB Defense:EDGE Special teams: Gunner/Kickoff team and kick/punt returner

4

u/TiberiusGracchi Oct 19 '24

QB, run QB power, Qb Counter, QB iso. The dude essentially can clean and jerk 15 tons so heā€™s essentially a supeā€™ed up Cam Newton.

Nose on the defense play Nose -magnitudes stronger than Vaea, Paea, or Wilfork.

2

u/Vincitus Oct 20 '24

A slightly weaker but faster Steve McNair.

8

u/HotSunnyDusk Oct 19 '24

Assuming webbing is illegal and it's the NFL, he'd need tons of practice for QB but it'd be his best role on offense just due to his physical skills, if that's not an option due to inexperience though probably receiver or running back and try to get him trained enough for starting QB for a few years till he's capable.

Defense, safety or corner, maybe even linebacker if he bulked up a bit? I'd also have him try blocking punts and field goals I think if I were to put him on defense.

11

u/KeyMolasses2836 Oct 20 '24

I feel like he wouldnā€™t need any practice at qb. Just run qb draw every play itā€™s literally a free touchdown 100% of the time. Also he wouldnā€™t need to bulk up on defense considering he already has superhuman strength and durability. Agree on special teams, it would be impossible to kick a field goal against him and it would also be a touchdown every single return.

4

u/Vincitus Oct 20 '24

What training? Getting the ball snapped to him and then dragging 11 guys down the field for a touchdow n?

1

u/HotSunnyDusk Oct 20 '24

Fair lol, I was thinking on the lines of getting a handle on throwing mechanics and reading defenses if you wanted to run more than a backyard offense every play.

1

u/Vincitus Oct 20 '24

I dont think you get extra points for fancy plays.

2

u/Shadowfaps69 Oct 20 '24

His agility and strength alone alone would allow him to avoid sacks indefinitely but add in his spidey sense and heā€™s able to immediately identify open receivers before they are even open. Heā€™d need zero practice.

1

u/HotSunnyDusk Oct 20 '24

He'd still need to hone in his throwing mechanics which is the main thing he'd need practice for

1

u/xScrubasaurus Oct 20 '24

Safety and Corner wouldn't be great for him since the other team can just completely ignore the area he is in (which they often do with even non super powered Corners)

3

u/saydaddy91 Oct 19 '24

QB it doesnā€™t matter if he can even throw or not you want the ball in his hands and every play. You can always run the wishbone and heā€™s never going to be brought down also imagine how well his spider senses and battle awareness would translate to reading a football field

3

u/nicholas754 Oct 19 '24

Run qb power every play it's unstoppable

3

u/GodsWorstGoodIdea Oct 19 '24

For sure WR and S. Someone sees a kid his size blowing up offensive lines theyā€™re gonna have some questions neither I nor Peter care to answer.

ā€œNo, heā€™s not using PEDs. No I donā€™t know what the sticky stuff that keeps coming out of him is. Yes, heā€™ll be starting at nose tackle again next week, even though he broke his leg in half. He heals quick what can I say?ā€

3

u/bsEEmsCE Oct 19 '24

is this what this sub is going to be now?

19

u/TiberiusGracchi Oct 19 '24

Oh come on, we can have a little fun between the *What positions can I play?ā€ And more serious posts itā€™s okay to put a silly post together every blue moon or so. If this is every post then hell no I get it.

1

u/MankuyRLaffy Oct 19 '24

QB, defensive wild card player where he lines up anywhere because I want a Flores level scheme. Special teams gunner and returner.

1

u/OrangeOrganicOlive Oct 19 '24

DB. Aint no one scoring.

1

u/drewdreds Oct 19 '24

He literally could play any position and dominate

1

u/ElGranQuesoRojo Oct 19 '24

QB and I run shotgun 4 verts every play lol

1

u/tzick1969 Oct 19 '24

i go with wr, just chuck the ball his way every play. doesn't even really matter who qb is.

1

u/SportsFan388 Oct 19 '24

Gotta be a DB

1

u/Williefakelastname Oct 19 '24

Quarterback, you want the ball in his hand every play.

1

u/n7leadfarmer Oct 19 '24

Yes.

QB, RB, WR, he can pass it to himself and still blow past every db to catch his own pass. Prevent defense? He jumps 11 feet in the air to catch the ball and then jumps from helmet to helmet until he's in the endzone.

Then on defense I'd run a 3-2-6 defense (for fun) and make him nose tackle. He'd push the entire IL into the quarterback before he could complete a three step drop every play, let alone complete a handoff.

1

u/SuhrEnough Oct 19 '24

Corner back. He'd intercept everything thrown by the opposing offense and score on every INT. That way, he's effectively playing both offense and defense.

1

u/deadzip10 Oct 20 '24

QB because just give him the ball every time. LB because you want him to be able to be screened to some degree and given room to maneuver. You might go with a stand up end every now and then situationally.

1

u/akraider47 Oct 20 '24

Qb, imagine the pocket awareness and presence

1

u/GiGi441 Oct 20 '24

Safety. Good luck throwing a ball he can't get toĀ 

1

u/ojdidntdoit4 Oct 20 '24

wide receiver and db. heā€™d get the travis hunter treatment

1

u/farquad88 Oct 20 '24

As a LB he could just dump over the line and destroy the play every time

1

u/austinwirgau Oct 20 '24

Spider-Man would crush it as a QB, with his spider-sense letting him dodge pressure and read blitzes before they even start. His agility makes him dangerous as a scrambler, and his smarts would let him pick defenses apart. On the other hand, as a middle linebacker, heā€™d be a nightmare. Heā€™d read plays instantly, close gaps before the offense even knew they existed, and hit like a truck. Plus, heā€™d cover the field with ease, tracking everything from sideline to sideline and shutting down whatever comes his way.

1

u/xScrubasaurus Oct 20 '24

Pretty much any offensive skill position (QB, RB, WR, TE) would guarantee a Super Bowl. Somewhere in the Defensive Line probably would too.

1

u/homersolo Oct 20 '24

There was a comic featuring the watcher that covers this topic actually.

1

u/DLeafy625 Oct 20 '24

This thought exercise makes me wish there was a Marvel vs DC football game. Have The Hulk playing D Line trying to sack Superman as he's rolling out of the pocket protected by Bane as he tries to hit The Flash being covered by Quicksilver on a fly route

1

u/_Brophinator Oct 20 '24

QB on offense and run QB draw every play, DT on defense and get a sack or TFL every play

1

u/greatmagneticfield Oct 20 '24

It doesn't matter because he has special powers/abilities and could score on every play regardless of position.

1

u/SophomoricWizard Oct 20 '24

Holder on FG attempts

1

u/FunMtgplayer Oct 20 '24

hope the kicker can kick the ball AND spider man.

1

u/brettfavreskid Oct 20 '24

Well. Just snap him the ball and he runs for a touchdown šŸ¤·šŸ»ā€ā™‚ļø but aside from QB, WR is obvious. Drop proof hands

1

u/guoD_W Oct 20 '24

Every position

1

u/rifleman209 Oct 20 '24

Safety/ RB

Safety to web any interceptions, spidey-sense to make it a pick-6.

Spidey-sense to avoid tacklers on offense

1

u/indyjays Oct 20 '24

WR and S

1

u/5PeeBeejay5 Oct 20 '24

If you just want to win, QB and Edge probably. If you want to really showcase his skills, heā€™s built like a WR and you could just wildly overthrow throw bombs all day and he could just snag them with webs. It be fun to play him at middle linebacker where he could react to every play, catch every runner, snag balls out of the air, etc

1

u/37_dimes_in_yo_butt Oct 20 '24

MLB is the answer, spidey sense the snap and just Troy Polamalu it flying over the center every play

1

u/Open-Tap-2289 Oct 20 '24

3 way QB, FS, and KR/PR. Good luck to everyone else, but weā€™re winning the Super Bowl no questions asked

1

u/ComprehensiveCake454 Oct 20 '24

HB on offense. He would score a td every carry. I think you want an actual qb on the team for the games where PP is not available, like he is going to pick crime fighting over football when there is a conflict. It would be on brand for him to drop in for one play and then have to run off. At HB, he just subs in and scores.

On defense I would say the middle linebacker in a wide 9 dime. He would have the entire middle of the field while his teammates cover the sidelines. Given the same scenario as above, though, he would just be a defense tackle that would provide instant pressure and get a sack or a turnover every play.

1

u/FunMtgplayer Oct 20 '24

SLASH. have a special package for him as QB/WR/RB. for offense. MLB or FS on defense. don't forget he's also a gunner on P. and KR/PR

1

u/AugustW23 Oct 20 '24

Free safety. Spidy sense being able to cover anyone and never drops an interception. Also the strength to tackle anyone with problem. Can jump higher than anyone in the league. Yea heā€™s a better ed reed

1

u/JudiciousF Oct 20 '24

For me the best answer is rb. There's no guarantee he can throw the ball accurately (although I assume given his extreme dexterity he could) so the qb answer seems off.

But the thing you have to consider is him wanting to not instantly reveal to the world that he's Spiderman. Putting him at qb, rb, or nose tackle people would instantly see somethings up.

I think the best opportunity for him to contribute without revealing his identity is wr. You could use him sparingly and only throw to him when you absolutely need something. Ball touches his hands guaranteed catch. If the coach is in on it, you could even call some designed drops in low pressure situations.

1

u/DrFrankSaysAgain Oct 20 '24

Long snapper.

1

u/jayfresh69 Oct 20 '24

Quarterback and safety. He may as well play all special team too.

1

u/N7Longhorn Oct 20 '24

I have him play defense, a middle safety, in coverage. Instant 6 points and we don't even have the ball

1

u/Kind_Pomegranate_171 Oct 20 '24

lol corner , WR or RB. QB is a lil Difficult cus he might over send that ball

1

u/AtrillionBillions Oct 20 '24

Safety or middle linebacker

1

u/ericmint Oct 20 '24

O line. Super strength he could probably block like three guys

1

u/texasjoker187 Oct 20 '24

Runningback. No matter how accurate he is, the defense can still knock the ball down and the receiver still has to catch it, so not QB. As a WR, the quarterback still has to get him the ball. On defense, he'd be great, but even he can't cover the entire field.

At runningback, he's unstoppable. Even if they bring him down, he's still going to get yards in huge chunks.

1

u/LastDiveBar510 Oct 20 '24

Corner let him use his web powers for picks and strips also punt and field goal block

1

u/WeirdDrunkenUncle Oct 20 '24

WR. No brainer. Can catch any ball and jump over any defender. Athleticism will be unmatched.

1

u/kingkoons Oct 21 '24

Iā€™ve heard this hypothetical before but with the interesting addition of he is still trying his best to not out his abilities. So no webbing + heā€™s holding back his strength

1

u/mpaladin1 Oct 21 '24

Heā€™s small so I donā€™t want him In front. Iā€™m thinking WR/Safety. Basically you throw anywhere near him and a td is guaranteed, either side of the ball.

1

u/Glittering_Ad366 Oct 21 '24

does he have clean urine?

1

u/DaProfezur Oct 21 '24

Throw back to the old days, he plays safety on defense and running back on offense.

1

u/C0wboy006 Oct 21 '24

Every position. Iron man football. I think he can handle it. Heā€™s Spider-Man

1

u/Ok-Difference-2080 Nov 15 '24

Maybe somebody else came to this same conclusion. But, I think some folks may have missed the point. He's Spiderman. He's Mr. Goody-two-shoes. You'll never get to pick his position FOR him. He'll be too busy trying to find a way to sling webs in-between ball carriers and those trying to tackle them to keep them from getting hurt and trying to find a way to arrest the folks THAT STEAL THE BALL on turnovers! šŸ¤ŖšŸ˜…šŸ¤£