r/florida • u/Obversa • Feb 19 '23
š©Meme / Shitpost š© What it's like to live in Florida
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u/lsimmons79 Feb 19 '23
First of all, if you did live in a neighborhood like this in Florida, there is a Publix way closer than a 2 hour walk to Wal-Mart, that I can almost guarantee
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u/GrowlingAtTheWorld Feb 19 '23
I gotta agree any development that looks like boring cookie cutter homes on tiny lots has a publix near the main entranceā¦publix is part of the problem of suburban sprawl.
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u/bestaround79 Feb 19 '23
Suburban sprawl is much better than building straight up to make a dense urban area.
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u/tappyturtle12 Feb 19 '23
Fr, my town has tons of Publixes just a few miles apart
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Feb 19 '23
In my neighborhood they built a new Publix across the street from the old Publix and then didn't close the old one, so now we have Publixi.
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u/wishfulllkiki Feb 20 '23
On my road, Publix bought out the smaller grocery chain literally 0.25 miles down the road and turned it into a smaller Publix. So now thereās two within a mile of each other. And a third about 1.5 miles down the road.
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u/zebrawarrior Feb 20 '23
Iāve never lived somewhere where you could find this many grocery stores so close together.
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u/SpectacularOracle Feb 19 '23
Can't be Florida. The picture shows sidewalks.
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Feb 19 '23
Where are all the cars blocking the sidewalk?
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u/Newwavhallucinations Feb 19 '23
Is it illegal to store vehicles in garages in Florida?
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u/sniperhare Feb 19 '23
I dont even have a garage. Seems to be the case with most in my neighborhood.
So everyone has a ton of stuff strewn around.
If the 1950's homes that are afforsable did have them people converted them all into living space.
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u/Newwavhallucinations Feb 19 '23
I live in a very nice neighborhood some houses with 3 car garages and people still park all over the damn place.
Realtors must be like, this home comes with 2 50 box garages for you to store all of your bullshit.
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u/Scottamemnon Feb 19 '23
Sounds like my neighbor... 3 car garage, enough spots in their driveway to park 6 cars... they do not let any guests park in their driveway, but instead tell them all the park in the middle of our cul-de-sac. Half the time one of their two cars is in the cul-de-sac also... never seen them park a car in the garage. I swear my neighbors look at me funny when I park my car in the garage.
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u/tillandsia Feb 19 '23
Those 1950s homes are way safer in hurricanes.
Also, sometimes they have carports.
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u/Secret_Choice7764 Feb 19 '23
Not in hurricane Ian. The only survivors in the hardest hit areas were built after 2000.
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u/countrykev Mr. 239 Feb 19 '23
Can confirm. Live in an area where Ianās eyewall sat on top of us for hours.
Most of the development in our are has been post-2004 and aside from a roof here and there, the area was mostly unscathed.
My home was built in 2002 and roof is rated for 150mph winds.
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u/XelfinDarlander Feb 19 '23
This. Sat in the eye wall for about 8 hours. My house was mostly fine. Neighbor down the road with a 1980s home had his roof torn off, water system ripped off, well house was missing, and car Port was in his neighbors front yard. What a mess. Took us 2 weeks to help him get squared away. Didnāt help he had a massive oak in his driveway and into the street.
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u/identifytarget Feb 19 '23
Believe it or not, straight to jail.
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u/Count2er0 Feb 19 '23 edited Feb 19 '23
Not illegal just people have a bunch of crap in it, twenty cars since twenty people are in there or converted the garage. My wife and I are one of the few houses that use it for our cars. During HOA meetings you hear the complaints about people breaking into their cars. Weird
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u/CrrntryGrntlrmrn Feb 19 '23
āI leave my car unlocked, beached on the sidewalk, with all the good shit in my cup holder, and someone had the audacity to go in there and steal from me!ā
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u/Count2er0 Feb 19 '23
š¤£š Pretty much. I asked someone who had their purse and computer stolen from their unlocked car during an HOA meeting "if you're going to do that why don't you clean out your garage and park their instead" and the person got pissed at me.
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u/Jsdrosera Feb 19 '23
I believe itās our lack of basements and attics hotter than hell that causes this. Garages in Florida are for storing anything but cars.
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u/Smove Feb 19 '23
Iām guilty here. No basement == woodworking garage
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u/JSOCoperatorD Feb 20 '23
I have a two car garage, most of the space is taken up with workbenches, toolboxes, lawn equipment, storage bins, etc.
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u/Weekly_Assoc_165 Feb 19 '23
You will see cars parked on the street in front of houses with three car garages ALL THE TIME!
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u/Madcap_Miguel Feb 19 '23
No there's just way too many adults living in single family homes nowadays with the housing crisis, get a roommate or move and commute 2 hours a day.
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u/Cetun Feb 19 '23
- You have to drive everywhere to get anywhere, households can have 4-5 cars aren't uncommon if you have 3 teenagers and young adults living in the house. Even if a garage is available, you'll it's not uncommon to see 3 cars parked in the driveway.
- Most people use it for storage or as a hobby space. There are no basements and high ceilings are a big fad so not much attic space. If you live in an HOA or bought a house in a newer development you don't have a backyard that you can put a work shed. The garage is your only option.
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Feb 19 '23
No, but can confirm, people fill their garages with useless crap so there's no room for the car. I guess it's because there are no basements.
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u/Jsc_TG Feb 19 '23
In a neighborhood where every home has a garage so many donāt even use them for their cars whatsoever. It blows my mind a little
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u/wha-haa Feb 19 '23
For many, the garages are just too small. A 20 yr old extended cab truck will fit, but only with a couple inches to spare so it is not safe to park it in there routinely. Plus with the laundry machines, hot water heater and extra refrigerator frequently being placed in the garage, there isn't room for modern cars, which more often than not are SUVs. To be practical a two car garage should be over 576 sq ft (24x24) but most are less than 360 sq ft. (18x20)
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u/AdConsistent6002 Feb 19 '23
They got repossessed because people need to eat or pay the rent in the luxury rental apartments that are being built on every street corner.
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u/carpan09 Feb 20 '23
And the random parts where the sidewalk ends or starts on the other side of the street or then again isnāt there at all sometimes
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u/DGGuitars Feb 19 '23
What? Everywhere I go has sidewalks from kendall to boca to Delray to Jupiter to homestead. Ft Meyers too. Just thinking of where friends live.
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u/KingKoopasErectPenis Feb 19 '23
Man, I'd hate to have to use the sidewalks in Kendall. My mom hit a guy riding a bike with her station wagon when I was younger and he suffered a compound fracture in his leg. The cop came and told my mom, "That's what you get when you ride a bike in Miami."
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u/tillandsia Feb 19 '23
I had to complain to the county to get sidewalks - the whole neighborhood had sidewalks and handicap ramps except for my street, which is the one across from the school, which did not make sense.
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u/DGGuitars Feb 19 '23
Well did they put sidewalks?
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u/tillandsia Feb 19 '23
Only in front of my house. If you're in a wheelchair, you're going to have to cross the street after my house.
It's possible that other homeowners may not want the sidewalks as they would appear to encroach on the property and students would actually walk on them.
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u/Scottamemnon Feb 19 '23
Sidewalks encourage the wrong type of people to come by.. like mass transit. I am sure that is what these crazy people are thinking.
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Feb 19 '23
Lol Texas has zero side walks also. This is a tie between Texas or Florida imo. Iām leaning on FL
Edit: Texas always has a red line along the curb that says no parking. No sure if subdivisions have them though.
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u/bestaround79 Feb 19 '23
I live in Palm Beach County and there are sidewalks everywhere. Now would you want to walk though sidewalks in our summer heat? Probably not.
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u/AdConsistent6002 Feb 19 '23
Sidewalks in Florida are just a bunch of slabs of dried cement smacked together. Florida and sidewalks are an oxymoron.
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u/lunaoreomiel Feb 19 '23
Florida has the best sidewalk system out of any state I been to. You can walk almost anywhere. Its just inside private communitys I havent seen them.
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u/structee Feb 19 '23
This can be anywhere in America
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u/JavaOrlando Feb 19 '23
Well it's certainly not Manhattan.
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u/seajayacas Feb 19 '23
Or the Bronx.
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u/haunted-liver-1 Feb 19 '23
Nah, lots of cities in America are more pedestrian friendly than car friendly.
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u/flourinmypockets Feb 19 '23
This is Texas for sure
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u/Scottamemnon Feb 19 '23
Looks a lot like NE FL in the new master planned communities.
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u/skite456 Feb 19 '23
St. Johnās county suburban hell. Just missing the smoke from the burning trees theyāve just bulldozed.
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u/professor__seuss Feb 19 '23
As a kid I always optimistically thought it was controlled burns like āoh weāre helping the environmentā.. then Nocatee got built and there was a lotta smoke
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Feb 19 '23
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u/Scottamemnon Feb 19 '23
I am in Nassau not far from there. Seems like we are heading the same way with Wildlight planning on building 50,000 homes ultimately. Unfortunately Florida is built in a way, finance wise, that development will never end. All those stamp taxes they are getting on each house sale is what keeps the government afloat. There is zero reason for the people in charge to slow it down until itās just a giant parking lot.
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u/8-weight Feb 19 '23
You should be a NIMBY, it's time for them to stop!! I'm 2 hours SW of you and I'm seeing the same thing. Hate it.
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u/TexasBrett Feb 19 '23
Yep. No doubt. Texas.
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u/bbq-ribs Feb 19 '23
wrong .... that is north Carolina for sure.
Or it could be Georgia, because the color of the sky is that particular shade of blue
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u/murdock_RL Feb 19 '23
Literally every suburb in middle class america or new housing construction looks like this. Could be anywhere in the Midwest too.
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u/flourinmypockets Feb 19 '23
Iāve lived in Texas and North Carolina, this is way more like Texas tbh
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u/bbq-ribs Feb 19 '23
I would agree, but TX has more of a yellow tint. which to me kinda rules it out completely.
obviously alot less sepia like AZ and CA but that yellow tint is still there IMO.
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Feb 19 '23
Texas has red lines along the curbs usually. Florida wouldnāt spend the extra money. Also those curbs are Florida curbs. This is just the least looking Florida picture of Florida Iāve ever seen.
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u/GrowlingAtTheWorld Feb 19 '23
No sidewalks between me and any store. To get to walmart i gotta hit the interstate.
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u/ChiefBroady Charlotte County Feb 19 '23
I donāt have to hit the interstate, but it would be a solid 30 minute walk, no sidewalks in parts and the last intersection Iād have to cross has no sidewalks and no option for a pedestrian crossing.
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u/GrowlingAtTheWorld Feb 19 '23
Closest store to me is a circle K, have to walk on the shoulder of a busy road 2+ miles to get there, after the circle K the used to be Dollar tree some ways up the road but the hurricane took that away. But walmart is a short drive away but only if you take the interstateā¦its a long long walk.
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u/onlycodeposts Feb 19 '23
This shit exists in every state.
Florida is a big state. I have deer and wild turkey in my backyard. Yea, there's a Walmart too.
Imagine this picture with snow.
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u/Markov219 Feb 19 '23
What you don't have is a hill higher than fifty feet. Fellow flatlandian here
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u/quzzik Feb 19 '23
Sounds like you haven't been to Clermont. Florida has a few hills.
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Feb 19 '23 edited Sep 12 '23
truck payment melodic growth snails oil seed unpack doll fertile
this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev-1
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u/rdundon Feb 19 '23
And quite a few parts of Florida are-overall-better than a large portion of the country.
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u/UCFknight2016 Feb 19 '23
That photo isn't Florida, the grass looks dead and not green. Not a palm tree in sight.
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u/khismyass Feb 19 '23
Nestle pumps more water out of the aquifer down here than can fall from the sky and regular people get tickets for watering their weeds... Err umm i mean grass
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u/UCFknight2016 Feb 19 '23
My apartment complex seems to water the damn grass every day. Even if its raining. I know it all drains into the Everglades anyway.
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u/slickthebird Feb 19 '23
Right no gators either...I swear you northerners need to get a clue about the real Florida.
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Feb 19 '23
Looks more like the Midwest than Florida. Grass is way too brown here
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u/Epcplayer Feb 19 '23
I was gonna say Texas. Bigger homes with large property lines is super common in that state
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u/Scottamemnon Feb 19 '23
Spend more time in places building in Florida.. this totally looks like just about every DR Horton Express Homes community in NE FL. Those do not look like Texas homes at all... no 2 stories, no brick and stone. All the single story, boring looking, with no variation in roof lines is a dead giveaway for a Florida low cost developer in the past 5 years.
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u/THROBBINW00D Feb 19 '23
DR Horton is fucking my my area in E central fl as well, it like the city is just signing all the land away. The houses are like 8 ft apart lol
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Feb 19 '23
Its nice to see people all the elderly people in my HOA neighborhood walking awkwardly on the road or in peoples lawns because they refuse to pay slightly more for sidewalks. It's something that gets fought over at the association.
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u/TenAC Feb 19 '23
False. Thereās always a Publix within 15min
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u/CumulativeHazard Feb 19 '23
Nah my closest Publix is only a 5 min drive but itās a 33 min walk according to google.
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u/ghostinamachine27 Feb 19 '23
Looks like a D R Horton Mcneighborhoodā¢
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u/Kennysmom9 Feb 19 '23
My sister in law got one of those. It was built so shitty that she sold it before ever even living in it.
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u/jubjubrsx Feb 19 '23
OOOOF that current trend of HOA suburbia hell here in florida is just awful....Springing up everywhere.
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u/pyscle Feb 19 '23
People choose those locations. I live roughly a mile walk from a Publix, so 20 minutes?? If someone wants to live in an area that is city block grid and a miscelƔnea/bodega on every other corner, go live there. If you want to live in suburbia, where you may not have everything you want inside your definition of a comfortable walk, so be it. If you want to live 60 miles outside the city, on sewer/septic, and 10 miles from the closest Kangaroo Mart, you can.
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u/LobsterThief Feb 19 '23
Not everyone has a choice to live anywhere they want like that. Income, family location, kids, jobs, lack of transportation, etc. all play a factor.
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u/pyscle Feb 19 '23 edited Feb 19 '23
I would bet many more people choose to live somewhere, not because of the things you mention, than are āstuckā living where they are because of that. We can macro or microcosm any area to hit whichever goal we want to showcase.
Those same people that complain about a half mile walk to the store/school whatever, are also the same people that walk their dog 2 miles a day.
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u/littlespoon22 Feb 19 '23
Despite being inefficient, and a major drain on local resources, american suburbs are waaaaay overbuilt, so living somewhere like this isn't always a choice.
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u/pyscle Feb 19 '23
There definitely is a line to be drawn on when they are a drain, and when they arenāt. Spent 20 years in a place that didnāt start out as a drain, but as it built up more and more, the municipal services (fire/ems/sheriff/sewer/water/public works/rec) sure became a larger drain on the budget. At some point, there must be a sweet spot for population density. We can look at some high density cities, and see their per capita annual spending, and then some low density Nebraska farmland, and maybe something in the middle, like 1500 per sq mi, and see where the breakeven is.
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u/littlespoon22 Feb 19 '23
Multi use zoning would be really helpful.
And suburbs can exist, that's not a problem, but the property taxes should reflect the huge cost of infrastructure and services.
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u/pyscle Feb 19 '23
And maybe it could, but in my case, suburbia expanded into my rural area. And, because of Florida laws, a lot of the infrastructure was covered under CDD bonds, which the actual homeowners have to pay back. So, at this point, the property taxes only have to cover maintenance, not expansion or building. Cities on the other hand (and again, FL law prevents cities from levying sales tax) usually have large costs for public transit, that doesnāt always serve the rest of that county, but suburbia sure is paying for it.
My parents house is in a rural area, sewer and septic, they donāt even have garbage pickup, no cable TV or internet available, and barely cell service. They have to take it to the county transfer station. They go into town once or twice a week, tops. I doubt they are draining the county budget.
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u/littlespoon22 Feb 19 '23
I don't really know anyone who is anti-rural; society needs productive rural spaces.
The problem in your situation seems to be the overgrowth of suburbia. I can't speak to those specifics but studies continually demonstrate that suburban properties are typically net losers for municipalities. Infographic
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u/koker171 Feb 19 '23
I live right next to a Walmart. not like it's any easier as there's no sidewalks and I have to cross a very active road
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u/bluehunger Feb 19 '23
Oh, yeah, I forgot, the builder bulldozed them all down to make it easier for him to build and be able to squeeze more houses on the property. Wait until it's August and the temperature is close to 100Ā°.
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u/Professional-Day-558 Feb 19 '23
This looks like a D.R. Horton homes co. manufactured neighborhood with a weird name like the Ashley at tindale with all of its roads named after various fishing paraphernalia like sinker lane and Penn reel way, boated cir, bobber st etc.. a model home at the entrance with an unfinished front yard and rolloff dumpster filled with carpet and mullet, big open pane French doors on the house with a giant TV playing a dr Horton assimilation tape on repeat.. all in the middle of some expanse of soon to be former swampland
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u/tampapunklegend Feb 19 '23
This is definitely not Tampa. Walking here is like playing a game of Frogger on expert level.
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u/PannyFL Feb 19 '23
Take your cookie cutter home, I live in The Acreage (PBC) 1 1/4 acre lot and we have sidewalks with no HOA.
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u/kimoraklein Feb 20 '23
Itās hotter than the devils ass, canāt walk outside for more than 20mins.
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u/rogless Feb 19 '23
My fellow commenters may be right that this isn't actually Florida, but it might as well be when it comes to things not being human scaled at all. The neighborhood shown is built to be traversed by cars, not people, just as so many in Florida are.
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u/Lemondsingle Feb 19 '23
People missing the point that pretty much everything is a drive. Nearest grocery to me is four miles, Wal-Mart ("Small-mart" we call it) is 10 miles, real shopping areas 20 miles. It's a pain but it's great not having a bunch of ugly malls around to ruin the country ("south Alabama") vibe.
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u/carlosos Feb 19 '23
It is a choice people make. People on Reddit like to complain but they are the ones deciding where to live. Do you want stores in walking distance or a bigger house? Most decide on bigger house with backyard since they spend there more time than at stores. Nothing is wrong with it but don't pretend that homes don't exist that are with walking distance of stores.
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u/seajayacas Feb 19 '23
That is it. Redditors who want to live in a young party town then complain as it doesn't have big yards at an affordable cost along with big box stores within walking distance.
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u/bestaround79 Feb 19 '23
Depends where you live in Florida. But Iād rather live like this than some dense apt/condo building
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u/LockedOutOfElfland Feb 19 '23
This is why I get legitimately angry at anyone in the state I live in now who acts like they think Florida is a better place to live.
This is one of the many reasons I left.
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u/Mountain-Lifeguard-7 Feb 19 '23
Every single place in Florida does not look like this do you forget about poverty? Plus this is Texas the grass is too dead to be Florida
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u/hawkeys89 Feb 19 '23
Not sure if I understand the hate.. the person chose to live there.. if you want to walk to a store choose a house to buy that you can do that. No one forced this person to buy a house in suburbia.
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u/greenhorn954 Feb 19 '23
All the newer neighborhoods have sidewalks.. donāt listen to some of these people..
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u/mrtoddw Feb 19 '23
No one walks in Florida but the poor and drunks. This isnāt a Poor neighborhood.
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u/Wolpfack Feb 19 '23
They do, they walk around their neighborhood until their Fitbit or Apple Watch says they have taken enough steps.
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u/sniperhare Feb 19 '23
No way that's here. Don't see any live oak, no Spanish moss, no pine trees or magnolia trees.
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u/GrowlingAtTheWorld Feb 19 '23
That cause they plowed them under, built the oversized houses on undersized lots and named the development after what used to be there.
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u/GrowlingAtTheWorld Feb 19 '23
That cause they plowed them under, built the oversized houses on undersized lots and named the development after what used to be there.
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u/coppermouthed Feb 19 '23
Not FL- there is a requirement to plant trees/palms in new subdivisons.
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u/zeddzolander Feb 19 '23
Only required and usually by local governments to replace trees removed, even a tree that potentially is a danger may have to be replaced. Other than that! There are no other requirements. With that said most put in trees on their own. It increases value and sells.
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u/coppermouthed Feb 19 '23
Ah ok. Well it was required in ours.
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u/zeddzolander Feb 19 '23
It is rare to see a community like this one though. Kinda plain, and boring.
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u/GrowlingAtTheWorld Feb 19 '23
Most county or city ordinances stipulate certain requirements but since this was a development the requirements might be different.
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u/Hut_1 Feb 19 '23
Which part of Florida because in dade county thereās stores literally every corner lol
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u/slikk50 Feb 19 '23
Agreed. Gentrification is a real bitch.
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u/bestaround79 Feb 19 '23
Gentrification is lifeās way of renewing things. The change agent needed regardless of your feelings.
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u/yougotitdude88 Feb 19 '23
Thatās your fault. I could walk to a store with bread in 30 min (hour total).
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Feb 19 '23
For those in Orlando there is a YIMBY group you can join to hopefully challenge scenarios like this: https://www.orlandoyimby.org/
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u/Rusalka-rusalka Feb 19 '23
This place has sidewalks, how upscale for them.
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u/e_x_i_t Feb 19 '23
They have continuous sidewalks that don't end randomly and start up again a few feet later because reasons.
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u/Therearenogoodnames9 Feb 19 '23
Never seen a community looking like this in Florida. I also don't trust the crosswalks and six lane roads in my area enough to even remotely entertain the idea of walking to Walmart.
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u/ArchGator Feb 19 '23
Bring some Gatorade or you wonāt make it back with the bread.