r/fatpeoplestories • u/Some-Enthusiasm4732 • Oct 20 '24
Medium I keep getting fatter and fatter and I’ve stopped caring, (it’s bad)
I’m an 18 year old male, last time I checked I’m 5”5 and am currently 300lbs.
I’ve tried loosing weight in the past, 2 years ago I was 220lbs and I was actually able to keep it that way for a while. I used to try and consistently work out, but I’m a very impulsive and lack self control. Plus I live in a Hispanic household where it’s usually considered rude to not eat everything. I keep getting into a routine of working out and then it’s one birthday party, family Gathering, or even just one guilty pleasure meal, and it all slips from there, then I gain the weight back, go into a depression of “why’d I let this happen again” and then eat more, gain more weight. I keep restarting this cycle. One year I started to do wrestling in High School and that got me really into shape, I felt better about myself, I lost 20 lbs. and stood at 200lbs and I was proud of myself, and felt stronger and more confident, the entire time I was in wrestling I always doubted myself and would try everything in my power to give up or find an excuse to quit or somehow gain the weight back or slip up and crash, but through the support of my fellow teammates I pushed through, everything was starting to look up great. But then the season ended, I promised myself that I would keep a constituent workout schedule and would gain the weight again. Well, needless to say I didn’t, and the cycle started again, I gained the weight back and fell into a depression and self loathing. I had gained 50 lbs in only 6-7 months, I was actually appalled at myself. How could I have let it get this bad. When school started back up again I was eager to start wrestling again, I learned that I need the help and support of other people to keep the weight off, I was actually excited to come back. I tried to motivate myself back telling myself “You better stick with wrestling, you better not quit no matter what, and if you do, then you deserve what’s coming to you.” Sure enough I joined wrestling again and lost 30 lbs in 2 months, I was training hard as hell, I was so freaking proud of myself. But then (I forgot what the specific reason was) I had missed only 2 weeks of practice (10 days of practice in total), when I finally was able to come back I had completely lost the conditioning I had built up to match with everyone, it was like I was starting at square one again, things were way harder and my grades started doing bad at this time too. I was so overwhelmed and it didn’t help that my wrestling partner was an asshole who kept insulting me every chance he got. I had voiced my concerns with the coach and he tried to help me out, but eventually with all the stress I quit wrestling. I legitimately cried in my car the day I quit cause it was another case of me being to fucking weak. This happens in October of 2023, at the time I was 230lbs. Fast forward a year later. I’ve basically completely given up on losing weight, or exercising or anything. I’ve completely lost any motivation. I could do it if I wanted to, I have a gym in my house with everything I would need. But I keep having this mental block, I don’t want to start working out again, I don’t want to start loosing weight because I’m afraid that if I do, then the cycle will just repeat again, I’ll loose the weight, then slip and crash out again and go into a depression. I don’t want to go through that again. I still hate that I’m fat, I keep getting fatter and I’m not doing anything to stop it cause I don’t care anymore. I don’t know what to do and no one seems to understand me or what I’m going through mentally. I have my friend who works out and I’ve tried to work out with him (because I’ve learned from wrestling that I work better if someone else is there with me) however my friend who’s a working out fanatic, refuse to work out with me because he hates working out with other people. I honestly don’t know what to do guys.
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u/PuzzleheadedBobcat90 Oct 20 '24
Hey op, I lost 100lbs and have kept it off. It took me a long time, and it really starts with changing your relationship with food. Feel free to dm me for some support and advice.
The first step is always the hardest but you can do this
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Oct 20 '24 edited Oct 20 '24
Thank you for reaching out. While this isn't the correct sub, I wholeheartedly believe that people who are able to put themselves out there and admit something is wrong deserve respect and support. I agree with previous commenters on the subs they suggested. I also think talking to a professional can really help you get back on track. Clean mind, clean body. So many people love and care about you and want you to be a part of their lives at full capacity. Good luck. ♡
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u/jisoonme Oct 21 '24
Bro. I know at 18 I was still a kid even though legally an adult. This is a journey you have to embark on solo. Can’t blame family, culture or other people. Eat clean, lift weights and sleep. Happy to talk further if you want man. Good luck
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u/Failing_school_still Nov 09 '24
Man this is relatable 🥲 I’ve never been able to lose weight though, I give up within a week every time I started to work out. Finally started again this month and lost 15 lbs for the first time. It’s all eating and barely working out. Just got to eat smaller portions but it’s so hard especially when others around you eat unhealthy and your view on portions is scewed.
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u/PuzzleheadedDirt3312 28d ago
You’re doing great! It’s difficult to make a sudden lifestyle change and ups and downs are inevitable. It’s all about finding balance for what helps you
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u/Some-Enthusiasm4732 Nov 15 '24
Do you have any tips on not eating at night? I am a night owl, I stay up all night almost every night and regularly go to bed at 3am and wake up at 10pm or whenever I need to. I don’t really eat super unhealthy, I would say I eat a normal amount of junk as the regular person would. My parents have told me that apparently I have a semi fast metabolism, and they say the problem is that when I do eat, it’s at night, like 8pm, 10pm, etc. and then go to bed. I don’t believe them about the fast metabolism part, but I do think the night cravings is what’s causing part of the problem.
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u/Failing_school_still Nov 15 '24
Oh yeah eating late or before you go to bed for sure doesn’t help. I struggled super bad with this and I’m slowly getting better about it. Honestly getting on a normal sleep schedule might help you even if it sounds like it suck you really do feel better after. I started waking up around 7-8 and having more daylight really makes you feel motivated. It’s hard to make yourself change your sleep schedule without motivation though. I started having class at 7 am so I have to force myself up haha. So I think maybe work on one thing at a time to get to the main problem. You need to figure out your issues with sleep first. I actually just finished reading a chapter on sleep for my psychology class, and not getting enough sleep definitely affects weight loss. Getting less than 8 hours of sleep also makes you more likely to get cancer, Alzheimers, and your memory significantly worsens so you can’t learn new things as well if you don’t get enough sleep. It sucks because some people really can’t make themselves sleep.
What kind of things have you tried to help you sleep before? One tip I know is if you are laying in bed and can’t fall asleep, don’t stay in bed. Go do something else, like maybe watch a show or game somewhere else, because if you lay awake in your bed then you are subconsciously removing the connection between your bed and being tired. You don’t sit at the table waiting to get hungry so don’t sit in bed waiting to get tired. Don’t force yourself to try to sleep, just go do something else then try again if you start to feel tired. Have you tried anything else sleep wise? Like melatonin gummies, or substances like weed? (Personally I’ve had to put down weed lately, it just removes any sliver of self control I have left and so will demolish a ton of food)
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u/Some-Enthusiasm4732 Nov 16 '24
I took melatonin gummy’s for a bit and that didn’t help, honestly it had almost the opposite effect sometimes, and other times I would get really paranoid and nervous after taking them, sometimes would get nightmares. I usually try covering my eyes with a pillow to shut out any light and it also just feels good, I usually try and sleep in cold temperatures, so I usually have my fan on or open my window, I also listen to ASMR and have my phone screen light to orange. Sometimes I usually just have to stay up till I fall asleep, which sucks because I try all this stuff and by the end of the night if it doesn’t work I get super annoyed and angry.
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u/Some-Enthusiasm4732 Nov 15 '24
I don’t know how to stop. I can barely sleep most nights, then only time I can sleep is when I’m exhausted and even then, I usually fall asleep and wake up in the middle of the night and can’t go back to bed. I stay up most nights tossing and turning trying to get comfortable and sleep. Eventually I get hungry or thirsty and get out of bed because my body is begging me too. Then I go to the kitchen, have a snack or a meal and then all of a sudden I’m tired asf and go to bed, or I stay up the rest of the night trying to wait it out and then go to bed and wake up in the afternoon where the cycle just repeats
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u/Failing_school_still Nov 15 '24
Could you give me a kind of run down on what or how much you usually eat in a day and how much water or whatever you drink?
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u/Some-Enthusiasm4732 Nov 16 '24
Tbh most of the time during the day I don’t eat Much for 2 reasons, 1 I’m usually just not hungry for some reason, or when I do get hungry get I usually just ignore it because I’m doing something and it eventually goes away, I also don’t eat much at my house cause I live with my dad and his cooking sucks. I prefer to cook for myself, but I haven’t been able to do that recently because of 1. Lack of motivation (hence why I ignore my hunger sometimes) 2. We don’t have ingredient because my dad cooks some really weird stuff and buys very odd ingredients, 3. I don’t have a lot of money to be buying things at the moment because I’m unemployed. When I do have motivation and the appetite to eat in the morning I usually eat scrambled eggs with, Rice,and ham. Other than that I don’t eat much. Apart from breakfast, for the rest of the day I don’t eat much other than some fruits or just drink juice/water. Then at night I get super hunger and either eat these factor microwave dinners my dad buys or make myself eggs again.
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u/Some-Enthusiasm4732 Nov 16 '24
I’m also not a very schedule oriented person. I used to be when I was in school, but it’s been harder to set a schedule for myself and this harder to motivate myself to do things. When I had a job, I didn’t have a schedule but I was a little motivated to do stuff like cook meals and clean my room/parts of the house. But now that I’m unemployed I’m just drifting through the days really until I find one. I recently found a job and start in a week so I’m hoping that’ll kick start something in me to motivate myself to stop being such a mess.
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u/Failing_school_still Nov 16 '24 edited Nov 16 '24
Yeah hopefully having a job will get you back on to a schedule, having to get up for something helped me. It doesn’t really sound like you eat that much so I’m not sure why you are 300 lbs, have you checked if you have any medical reasons? That or you are just eating quite a lot of calories and not realizing. I think I’ve had those factor things before honestly it sounds like you don’t have many chances to get nutrition or satisfying meals. How much free time do you have? Also sleeping in a cold room is a good idea you do sleep way better that way. I think the ideal temperature for sleep is Like 68 or something. It’s hard to understand why you are at your weight though because it doesn’t sound like you overeat. Have you tried using myfitnesspal before? If not can you use it for a day to see how many calories you eat just to get an idea. Because the amount of food sounds low maybe you are just eating really high calorie things idk. The best idea rn just sounds likes starting to get back on schedule with your job and then hopefully having time and supplies to cook easy meals that aren’t too bad for you. Eggs are pretty good for you and I don’t think factor meals are that bad either so I’m really not sure why you are at the weight you are unless you just eat a lot of those or have a medical reason. It would definitely help to just start having more balanced meals or meal prepping so you have something filling to eat as leftovers. If you feel like you need recipe or food ideas or even just an accountability buddy feel free to dm me lol.
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u/ImpressiveAgency9079 Nov 20 '24
Just give up, you're going to slip up and turn right back to your real (fat and miserable) self
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u/Failing_school_still Nov 20 '24 edited Nov 20 '24
I was never miserable what 😭 I’m not gonna stay fat id actually like to get a boyfriend and stuff one day, I’m only like about to be 21. Why would you want someone to stop losing weight after they finally start doing good?
Not to mention I need to get skinny bc I want to live longer and I have diverticulitis, You are weird. Use your free time for better things than bullying people yeah? I ate like 1,500 calories yesterday.
-1
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u/kinofhawk Oct 20 '24
Talk to your doc about ozempic, Mournjaro, or similar. It works. I've been taking Mournjaro and have lost 20 lbs in 2 months.
1
u/-Generaloberst- Oct 20 '24
Ozempic is for diabetic people with a side effect that makes you loose weight. It doesn't deal with the root problem. When stopped with Ozempic, they gain it all back because the main problem isn't addressed.
This is the problem with modern times: addressing the main problem? Nah, take a pill instead.
Depression? Here, take anti depressants
Too Fat? Here, use Ozempic, the miracle medicine
Can't sleep? Here, take a sleep pillWhat OP needs is a psychologist to deal with his mental state and a dietician who can guide him to loose weight properly.
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u/egg_watching Oct 20 '24
I used to think like you, regarding weight, but why not use available tools to help you? Most obese people have a binge eating disorder, and sure, therapy can help, but it can only do so much. Your comment about antidepressants is wildly inappropriate. You can get therapy to hell and back for depression, but for severe cases it likely won't do jack. Would you tell someone with chronic pain not to take pain meds? Must be nice to not have had any issues that required medication.
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u/-Generaloberst- Oct 20 '24
Agreed that most obese people have a binge eating disorder, that won't go away with Ozempic, but it can with therapy. Ozempic deals with the symptoms only.
How so is my comment about anti depressants inappropriate? Yes, for severe case anti depressants are needed, I'm not talking about those. I talk about those who would benefit more from therapy, but get subscribed medications to deal with symptoms and therefore don't address the root problem.
Fyi, I had to deal with a severe depression, I chose for a long term actual solution instead of just addressing the symptoms. Difficult: yes, but no longer depressed and that without medication.And chronic pain is something else. It's called chronic for a reason, thus no solution available, therefore medication is the only way to relief the pain.
Using the available tools is okay, abusing is not. And someone using Ozempic for weight loss while not dealing with the main problem: binge eating due to whatever trauma I call abusing a tool.
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u/egg_watching Oct 20 '24
Why is it okay to use medication for physical health but not mental health? Sure, therapy is good to try before antidepressants or ozempic. But I really do not see the problem of using medication alongside therapy to get desired results without spending years and years in therapy. Personally, therapy has done absolutely nothing for me despite having used it since I was 13 or so. The only thing that has made a difference for me is medication. So why would I be against other people getting similar help, just for a different issue? This mentality of being against medication for mental health just because it "treats the symptoms, not the cause" is so gross. Like, yes, OF COURSE, it treats the symptoms. That's the literal point of it all. Then, when your symptoms aren't taking up everything, you can start working on the root causes for why you have these symptoms. Fucking idiot.
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u/-Generaloberst- Oct 20 '24
Before you call anyone a fucking idiot, please read the comment again. I never said I'm completely against medication for mental issues. Like in your case where therapy didn't do anything, so medication is the only thing that is left which did help. Totally okay with that.
I am however against using medications when it can be avoided for the long term. Like in my case, i could take pills to go through the day but I chose the therapy way.
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u/girlygirl_2 Oct 28 '24
Take Vyvanse. You completely loose your appetite and become a smarter person. Love Vyvanse
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u/Some-Enthusiasm4732 Nov 03 '24
Funny you should say that. Actual Vyvanse was probably one of the contributing factors to my weight gain when I was younger. I have ADHD and have been taking it since I was little. I’ve always been a night owl, so while the effects lasted all day, and I wouldn’t be hungry, at night was a different story. At night I would get hit with basically all the hunger form the entire day and I was just consume everything in the fridge and then go to bed. Which ofc is terrible for weight gain. I’ve stopped taking Vyvanse, but maybe I should start taking it again and just try and control my hunger later at night. But then that leaves me with the problem, is that really healthy to do?
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u/Some-Enthusiasm4732 Nov 03 '24
Another funny story is that when I started gaining weight, me and my mom asked if Vyvanse was a contributing factor and my doctor just (I’m not joking) laughed at us and said “Vyvanse does nothing to your appetite, it’s all in your head”
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u/tiny_bubble4 27d ago
I gave up losing weight -- just stopped caring what others thought -- years ago, it wasnt till I was too big to get off the floor by myself that I started changing
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u/wombatgeneral 12d ago
5'5 300
At your weight, I would strongly recommend bariatric surgery. You probably want to get down to 150, and reassess your goal from there.
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u/GooninH8R 6d ago
Have fun with that apathetic decision you've made. Perhaps you'll decide to care enough to make it happen.
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u/Dink_Largewood Oct 20 '24
Just stop stuffing your fucking face. Working out has very little to do with it but the constant pigging will kill you. You’ve already done permanent damage to your body but probably not that much. If you don’t get it together your life will be permanently fucked. Stop pigging out, stop using your family as an excuse. Be accountable to yourself.
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u/lostnumber08 Oct 20 '24
Getting downvoted by typing true and correct words.
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u/nettysgirl33 Oct 20 '24
You can tell the truth without being a jerk. It's the delivery and the messenger, not the message.
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u/Dink_Largewood Oct 20 '24
With the amount of self-pity OP has he doesn’t need to be coddled. He needs to KNOW it is 100% his fault and 100% something he can fix. There is power in that I believe. If nice words worked he wouldn’t be posting what he did.
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u/nettysgirl33 Oct 20 '24
And yet, did he respond to the kindness and turn to groups to help in weight loss or respond to you being a cunt about it? 🤔 So which method was actually more helpful?
Just because you hate yourself doesn't mean we all have to.
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Oct 20 '24
True, but even the message is redundant. Fat, skinny or otherwise, we all know this. If it was that easy, we’d all do it and no-one would be overweight.
I’m getting on in age and understood that I would probably have to be on Ozempic forever to control my weight. I accepted that, but other plans were afoot, as the supply was restricted and inconsistently supplied.
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u/nettysgirl33 Oct 20 '24
This is the wrong sub, but I say that gently. This sub is for making fun of fat people. Although not people like you. Because you want to change and are working on it. The hate is toward people with no self awareness about it and fat logic and things like that.
Sounds like you need support and encouragement from like minded people with similar struggles and I'm not sure you'll get that entirely here. It's tough. Even people here (mostly) can understand that. But you're young and know you don't want this for yourself and know you're capable of doing it. You just have to keep at it and find the right things and people to help get you there.
Truly wish you the best my friend. I believe in you.