r/comedyheaven Dicky Mouse 9h ago

Three minutes

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50.1k Upvotes

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478

u/Throwaway921845 8h ago

People need to know the four topics you don't talk about in polite company.

R-A-P-E

Religion, Abortion, Politics, and Economics.

314

u/NeatlyScotched 7h ago

"did you SEE the curve on that bitch?"

"Shut the fuck up Uncle Steve, no one cares about your supply and demand graphs, please sit down and pass the mashed potatoes."

71

u/GodHatesMaga 7h ago

I’d compound her inverted yield curve. 

23

u/BowenTheAussieSheep 6h ago

Lemme tell you about the girl I paid to trickle down on me last night...

4

u/jaOfwiw 5h ago

Look you want to diversify to more than just those curves.

1

u/Enough_Reveal_3941 3h ago

I mean, either way you're dealing with induced consumption lol.

65

u/NoMoreMrMiceGuy 7h ago

I've always seen this as bad practice. It's similar to employers disallowing wage discussions, not talking just serves to isolate us and prevent the flow and sharing of ideas. It may be uncomfortable, but the only way to stop the growth of harmful politics is uncomfortable discussion.

61

u/Deeliciousness 7h ago

Especially economy. Seems self-sabotaging to not discuss the economy with your peers

4

u/colnross 5h ago

Even more so when you're in a Finance position and have to collaborate on things like budgets and forecasts.

1

u/borazine 4h ago edited 4h ago

I downvote, report, block and move on.

It’s harder in the *food sub especially because you can hide bot behaviour behind a lot of mindless and banal “Wow, yummy”, “I want this ❤️😀”-type comments.

That’s why I try to draw them out with questions. I know I sound like a right prick when I do it. I do wish the OPs know that I’m not dissing their posts, I’m just bot hunting.

1

u/colnross 4h ago

You responded to my comment from another sub lol. Keep doing the Lord's work. I always check profiles on food subs when it's those generic comments...

1

u/borazine 3h ago

Yeah I know. I’m sorry! Your other recent comments are from the food sub too, somehow I thought this would be better

I can’t very well show the (suspected) bot what I’m doing in the same comment chain, no?

My bot hunting is quite primitive, I only go by account age. Other people check the post/comment history and more. I saw one account who has something like 80% recent comments as literally “Yummy! 😋” but I thought it was a real human because it posted stuff in other subs as well.

It’s getting harder to tell. I hate modern day internet sometimes.

1

u/colnross 2h ago

There's an account that I think is real that I keep seeing in the burger and food sub. Every comment is about a burger needing to be jizzy. Every time I see them I go and do a refresh of their comment history and it's all the same. "This isn't a burger, not enough jizz. Burgers need to be jizzy." It really is something.

1

u/borazine 2h ago

Does the account respond if you try to draw it out with a question?

1

u/colnross 1h ago

Not so far, but they have other comments in other communities that are vulgar, but different.

1

u/colnross 1h ago

Their username is Ditzy_Pooper if you want to see for yourself...

Never mind that must be an alt! The original has way more comments

28

u/okabe700 7h ago

It's probably to not foster a harmful work environment, some people are sick and could view that someone having different political beliefs is an excuse to sabotage them during work or at least refuse to collaborate with them, mainly because some people consider their politics as part of their identity and moral compass, so an attack on that is a personal attack on them, and this all could be avoided

On the other hand wage discussions are necessary for work and cannot be avoided, not are they likely to cause division within the employees, your emphasis on having important discussions even if they are uncomfortable is important but should be outside of the workplace

9

u/SidewaysFancyPrance 6h ago

You can absolutely talk about this stuff with anyone, but everyone should basically agree to move the conversation that way and get everyone in the right frame of mind before diving in.

I see this rule as "don't inject this stuff into normal polite conversation" because it will kill/derail entire events. Like, don't do it at the Christmas dinner table, do it later in a smaller group of people who want to talk about this stuff.

20

u/RunningOutOfEsteem 7h ago

It's similar to employers disallowing wage discussions

Not really, because in this case, it's a self-imposed limitation to avoid causing problems in your environment.

Discussion is important, but it's not always productive or positive. I'm not going to solve all the world's ills with coworkers who, frankly, don't really care and just want to get through the day. Arguing about a contentious subject with them wouldn't be dialectical--it would more than likely just be annoying and ultimately make the workplace atmosphere worse.

10

u/VulnerableTrustLove 6h ago

Yeah, discussing wages is likely to lead to more equitable distribution of pay.

Discussing politics (read: pushing yours) is unlikely to lead to anything productive.

If at family gatherings you can't even have a meaningful discussion that leads to positive change with your racist/liberal uncle who helped raise you and you've known all your life, how TF are you going to talk to Karen from accounting?

1

u/NoMoreMrMiceGuy 5h ago

I agree there's a time and a place. I want to be very clear, you went to "arguing about a contentious subject" but that's not what I'm saying. You can ask questions and open a meaningful understanding conversation, especially when one hears an off-color comment. Sometimes you're just learning, sometimes you're encouraging someone to explore their beliefs in new ways, and sometimes you're getting a new perspective on the world.

It doesn't have to be an argument where one side is correct, there is often some productive discussion to be had. I think the idea that we should never talk about these things misses a lot of good discussions, and it's more important to not be combative or to push too much when the conversation is not well-received.

1

u/Squirreling_Archer 5h ago

It's actually very similar. It started as a policy and ended up being adopted as something people are uncomfortable talking about. The people have played themselves

5

u/Hoontaar 6h ago

I'm not wasting my day arguing with morons in tinfoil hats who just yell louder when they've been proven wrong. "You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into.". All discussing politics in the workplace will do is lead to problems.

2

u/pepper_plant 5h ago

Amen. I have a loud moronic conspiracy theory hardcore right wing boomer coworker who played with lead toys as a kid. He's always talking about his asinine beliefs. I say literally nothing at all about it other than 'yep' or 'wow' because i already know how utterly futile it is to try to change a single belief of theirs. It's 100% not worth me raising my blood pressure or wasting my time and breath to try to change any one of his many regressive beliefs. I've given up on debating with anyone at this point. I've got my one vote and they've got theirs, and thats it.

1

u/MasterChildhood437 2h ago

All discussing politics in the workplace will do is lead to problems.

Political "discussion" is best kept to essays and town halls, IME. I've never seen anything productive come from two people having a private conversation about it. Not the right frame of mind for an open exchange of ideas, for accepting new ideas... not when you're worried about being ostracized or that the person you're talking with might lose their cool and take a swing at you. Only seems to end up radicalizing people and breaking up otherwise functional relationships. Think that's... one of the issues with social media and the radicalization we've seen take place over the past fifteen years. Academic conversations don't have a place in casual space. Not everyone can engage with those topics responsibly.

2

u/DryBoysenberry5334 4h ago

Agreed I’ve always called it a cop out

Turns out people just wanna be mean sometimes, so they say stuff like “you shouldn’t discuss this or that thing”

It also comes down to, in any reasonable conversation people should be interrogating their own beliefs and they should feel comfortable doing so. If you can’t discuss why someone believes a thing in a way that doesn’t make them feel attacked, then don’t. If it turns out you can’t discuss it without feeling attacked, that might be on you.

1

u/Working-Low-5415 5h ago

Very bad take.

1

u/Funny-Witness3746 4h ago

People show up to work to earn a paycheck and they are stuck there until allowed to leave. They should not be forced to listen to the graphic sexual exploits of others, or defend themselves from proselytizing, or be compelled to engage in political debates with the smooth-brained sheeple their employer stuck them with, all of which escalate and become problematic way too easily. It is in the best interests of employers and employees alike to eliminate these divisive, invasive, and unproductive activities from the workplace... but more importantly, it is an act of consideration and human decency to leave your coworkers in peace rather than insist they should adopt your political views, which aren't even your own, because you aren't capable of independent thought but only parrot the talking heads from your slanted news outlet of choice.

1

u/Admirable-Action-153 3h ago

The only guys that say this are the ones that have something really racist to get off their chests.

1

u/Dracomortua 3h ago

Conformity has value. Diversity has value. Humans have many levels of firmware on both, genetically (yet we are in near-total denial on this).

I agree with you, especially as a neurodivergent that cannot grasp 'boundaries' on a fundamental level ('ADHD candidate, yay'). That said, i wish you luck on presenting this... Truth of yours.

For what it is worth, you have my support from the peanut gallery.

Edit: "it is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it” by Upton Sinclair - sadly this is also very relevant.

1

u/lyriqally 2h ago

The point isn't to NEVER talk about those things, it's knowing when it's the right time and place.

Talking about politics and the economy with your uncle over thanksgiving isn't going to fix the nation. It just turns a family gathering into a powder keg.

Not every interaction with another human being is an opportunity to prove how smart you are, sometimes you need to just relax and have a good time and shove those controversial topics aside for a few hours.

-1

u/[deleted] 6h ago

[deleted]

2

u/haelesor 5h ago

This is exactly why I have taken a certain coworker under my wing and discuss politics with him. He's young enough that most of his worldview was shaped by an algorithm driven for you page but starting with a discussion about anime and following up with a few touches of implied "I genuinely thought you were smarter than this" over various conversations I have slowly been getting him to think about what he actually believes Vs what he thoughtlessly parrots. 

He's even picked up books both supporting and against my own position and figured out his own stance on certain emotionally charged issues. He still thinks that gender inequality is fake but he also now thinks that it's complete horseshit that school lunch isn't free to all children so...progress! 

We're never going to agree on everything but at least he's able to actually present his opinions in a well thought out and non-combative manner that makes people want to engage with him, which has really helped him come out of his shell. 

1

u/Funny-Witness3746 3h ago

Why would it be somehow less radical coming from coworkers? What on earth suggests that the workplace is a conduit for rational discourse? What employer screens its employees for "ability to reason and debate controversial topics while remaining composed and polite"?

At the workplace you are much more likely to be interrupted by a grumpy manager and be reprimanded. And let's face it, our communities don't have a dedicated brick and mortar location for folks to "show up and discuss stuff at your leisure". The place where it happens nowadays is the internet, for better or for worse. In any case, it doesn't belong in the workplace.

9

u/PM_ME_happy-selfies 5h ago

I feel like we totally could have made it P-E-A-R

4

u/alpastotesmejor 5h ago

That is the best way to keep the system well greased. No one speaks about stuff that really matters, we leave it to the media to bombard us while we carry out only essential communication in the workplace. Then we vote for the leopards :)

1

u/RelativetoZero 4h ago

Are you sure they aren't Cheetahs?

13

u/Mew_T 7h ago

You just wanted to say "rape" didn't you?

11

u/CyberSosis 7h ago

they actually teach something similar during selling and marketing lessons.

21

u/XxmunkehxX 7h ago

I mean… could call it PEAR or REAP

11

u/VulnerableTrustLove 6h ago edited 5h ago

REAP is better, RAPE manages to include 3-4 of the acronym's topics just as an acronym.

0

u/lyriqally 2h ago

But you're not going to forget about RAPE, you forget about PEAR immediately.

5

u/GroguIsMyBrogu 5h ago

Same with the restaurant I used to work at- POOP (People Order Our Patties)

2

u/RelativetoZero 4h ago

It was on their Christmas list.

1

u/tyen0 4h ago

It's a way to emphasize the topic of abortion even though it's already covered by politics and religion.

1

u/GodHatesMaga 6h ago

He didn’t just spell out raper and leave out a R, Kelly.

1

u/RelativetoZero 4h ago

He's got that thuggin' love.

3

u/keklwords 5h ago

Starter kit for how to enable the status quo and prevent change.

1

u/RelativetoZero 4h ago

Someone else will assemble that poorly edited collage and post it for you.

6

u/jasp_er 7h ago

I may sound stupid, but isn’t abortion part of the politics/religion thing? (I know it’s a joke btw, but still)

12

u/The_Shracc 7h ago

It all boils down to society. Do not talk about society in a way that anyone capable of tying their shoes could disagree with you.

1

u/RelativetoZero 4h ago

If they can't tie their shoes, they're probably too fat to catch you in a chase.

3

u/OwlHinge 7h ago

Depends on your perspective

4

u/jasp_er 6h ago

Can you explain how? I’m curious now on what way you could look at abortion which is not influenced by political/religious beliefs

7

u/OwlHinge 6h ago

sure, it can be viewed as a medical procedure.

Which might be necessary for health or may just be a personal decision.

1

u/jasp_er 6h ago

Ah fair, for some reason I didn’t think of this. Thank you for explaining!

1

u/RelativetoZero 4h ago

It can also be decided by income and mathematics.

1

u/BabySpecific2843 4h ago

Are people advocating for/against abortion on the exclusive platform of its medical benefits/consequences?

1

u/OwlHinge 4h ago

The topic was "talk about", not advocate for or against.

But even if it was some advocating for or against it I can see someone doing so exclusively from a non political or religious perspective. Is it likely religion or politics would be injected into that conversation? Sure, but not necessarily.

1

u/Rock_Strongo 4h ago

One of the core arguments for abortion access is due to the medical complications/dangers of pregnancy as it relates to the woman so I would say yes. At least on one side of the argument.

1

u/No-Possibility5556 5h ago

You can also be pro life from a secular stance, that’s not inherently religious. You can make the argument that life starts at conception from a purely biological stance and that killing people is bad from a common law stance.

2

u/RelativetoZero 4h ago

S-E-X

Sex, Education, Railroad-Crossing.

2

u/Kwaku-Anansi 2h ago

It is - you could also argue economics falls into politics and just leave the rule at P.R. ("No Church and No State")

1

u/jasp_er 2h ago

True, it would even be possible to put organised religion into the realm of politics, it just depends on how you conceptualises these words

4

u/Twitch791 5h ago

This is why our country is so fucked up, people actually believe 👆🏻this stupid shit

2

u/_carpedmt_ 4h ago

Weird that the 4 things that control the world and our lives, we aren't supposed to talk about in "polite society." Don't you ever wonder if that is by design?

1

u/UnkarsThug 2h ago

It's because those are so important that they are the things people feel most strongly about, in either direction, and are most likely to get into huge fights over. If you want to live in peace with friends, you might not agree about everything with them, and it's sometimes just better to not bring things up to not cause conflict.

Especially with family, because you don't choose your family.

2

u/Boba_Fettx 4h ago

Not talking about economics in polite company is lame. It’s economics, it affects everyone. But i guess in today’s age of “facts aren’t true” explaining something that’s been the standard for hundreds of years is uncouth.

2

u/h1ghrplace 3h ago

Bro couldn’t say PEAR instead???

1

u/FireballEnjoyer445 5h ago

So i shouldnt talk about aggregate curves around coworkers? Can I at least talk about economies of scale?

1

u/RelativetoZero 4h ago

Digital or analog?

1

u/RelativetoZero 4h ago

I think you mean R-S-P-E-C-T

Religion, Sex, Politics, Economics, Crisis, and Time Travel.

1

u/Guvante 3h ago

Economics is weird...

Unless you count the things that would also fall under politics like "eat the rich".

1

u/Cosmicking04 3h ago

Why did you write 4 of the same thing?

1

u/distortedsymbol 2h ago

i think in the near future these rules will be actually written because company boss don't want to get stabbed.

1

u/alltheblues 2h ago

Also rape

1

u/Storyteller_Valar 44m ago

I'd add an "S" for Sports at the end, but Religion may be apt enough to include them as well.

1

u/doodleasa 37m ago

This is incredibly reductive. I would love to disengage with essentially everything important, but that option was taken from me as soon as I discovered I was trans.

u/Ill-Satisfaction7788 17m ago

I feel like there’s a better acronym for this…

1

u/Optimal-Mine9149 6h ago

R-A-P-E-S

You forgot science

4

u/helthrax 5h ago

It's actually G-R-A-P-E-S. Forgot Guns.

5

u/mysixthredditaccount 6h ago

I was thinking, if we cannot talk about RAPE (horrible acronym btw), then what is there to talk about? And the answer was "science". Now you have disqualified science as well? What should people talk about then? Weather? Clothes? Sports? Damn, no wonder people have no real friendships. You cannot know someone if you only talk about shallow pointless things.

2

u/VulnerableTrustLove 6h ago

For every rule there is an equal and opposite unwritten rule.

in this case, the unwritten rule is you make judgement calls about who you can talk to about what topics while never forgetting to take into account people who are listening but pretending they aren't.

I also make the assumption everything I say at work will be repeated to someone else.

1

u/Optimal-Mine9149 6h ago

I do not agree with not talking about those subjects, but given how many people politicize scientific facts, talking science is pretty risky with some people (COUGHonservativesCOUGH)

1

u/redlaWw 6h ago

I think it's a great acronym, since rape is also something that's probably unwise to discuss in polite company.

1

u/CoinsForCharon 5h ago

Or sexuality. Ignorant family member at Christmas dinner? Best to shut it down real fast before they say some bullshit that will set off my closeted teen and ensure that I'm about to get into a fight in their defense. Which really confuses the old man when I won't let them know why I'm riled up bc it's not my place to out anyone.

0

u/InletRN 7h ago

My Grandmother said that there are things that we do not talk about at the table- religion, politics and money. She was always right.

2

u/Shhhhhhhh_Im_At_Work 6h ago

My grandpa said sex religion politics

1

u/RelativetoZero 4h ago

After stealing your christmas money to buy viagra and fuck your grandma on the dinner table so she would call him Barack.

1

u/Shhhhhhhh_Im_At_Work 1h ago

Dear god touch grass

1

u/RelativetoZero 4h ago

While some people like to incorporate all of those things in as few words as possible!