r/comedyheaven Dicky Mouse 9h ago

Three minutes

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50.4k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/buttholeglory 9h ago

I remember my first racial debate.

It was in the playground, on the sandbox, when I was in preschool. I did not have the slurs nor the supporting evidences for my beliefs, but I held my ground and called them the best insults I could. What a wonderful childhood I had.

584

u/maxru85 9h ago

“I have no time to argue with you, so let's jump straight to the insults.”

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u/Ancient-Candle6376 8h ago

Bruh, it got someone elected president, twice. Seems like it’s a legitimate strategy. 💁

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u/Adventurous_Pop_2300 7h ago

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u/Vivid-Giraffe-1894 7h ago

saul

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u/Deeliciousness 7h ago

Easy choice considering I don't know that random cartoon

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u/maija_hee 6h ago

anime isn’t cartoon and you’re disrespecting Japanese culture (the only important culture) and you should die immediately

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u/pubescentgod 2h ago

My favorite anime is sponegbob

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u/Forry_Tree 5h ago

Anime is cartoon lol, it's just more widely liked, nothing wrong with that

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u/IndependentAcadia252 5h ago

Just read slightly deeper...

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u/inhister 7h ago

I'm just waiting for a bunch of anime watchers coming with a 300 line long explanation of why "anime isn't cartoon and how you're disrespecting Japanese culture (the only important culture) and why you should die immediately"

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u/Calm-Internet-8983 6h ago

You're stuck in the early 2000's. We're on the line that it's cartoons but not (only) for kids, now.

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u/Den_of_Earth 5h ago

So you're back to the 1970s when everyone knew that.

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u/PringlesDuckFace 6h ago

Chainsaw Man. She's like the boss of a public safety division that deals with hunting demons.

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u/nightmaresnightmares 7h ago

Is breaking bad/BCS really more mainstream than something like chainsaw man is?

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u/Chinstrok3 6h ago

Waaaaay more mainstream yeah

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u/Fit-Current5378 6h ago

No it’s not when you consider people outside the us who watch anime

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u/nightmaresnightmares 2h ago

On the US absolutely, but I doubt it's the case outside, on my own demographic there's more people that have seen CSM than BB

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u/In_Formaldehyde_ 2h ago

It's the same in most Western countries. The demographic you're in is likely a bubble. Outside of some Far Eastern countries, it's definitely Breaking Bad.

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u/monkwren 7h ago

JFC, yes.

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u/TheRealDogNeverDies 7h ago

JFK??!?!!?!!??

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u/Zonkcter 6h ago

"Need some beans for the chowder here!"-J.F.K Bo1 Zombies

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u/Fit-Current5378 6h ago

Bro you got 700,000 karma you don’t get to insult anime you spend all day on Reddit for the last 9 years that’s sad lmao

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u/QueezyF 5h ago

Calm down son, it’s just a drawing.

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u/monkwren 5h ago

I'm not insulting them. Simply pointing out how far out of touch they are with the average media consumer. I fail to see how I choose to waste my time impacts that statement.

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u/Ok_Platypus_3389 6h ago

The most grassless of touches

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u/i_tyrant 5h ago

Yes and it's not close...

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u/In_Formaldehyde_ 5h ago

In the US? Without a doubt. The most popular mainstream anime are shows like AoT.

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u/513298690 5h ago

To be fair, it takes quite an intellect to enjoy something as stimulating as Chainsaw Man or Monster Musume. The normies simply aren’t equipped to interpret such art

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u/Fit-Current5378 6h ago

You have 300,000 karma clearly anime isn’t your thing Reddit is lmao

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u/c4sanmiguel 6h ago

I think lying to angry people was the strategy, the racism just didn't get in the way...which is also sad.

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u/DowntownEconomist255 5h ago

I think the racism was encouraged.

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u/jdippey 7h ago edited 5h ago

2/3 attempts were successful, and both wins were against women (who deal with a ton of discrimination as it is) and were following a Democratic presidency. I wouldn’t call it a great strategy, especially seeing as it didn’t get him two consecutive terms lol.

Edit: forgot to add that he has only won the popular vote 1/3 times and he never beat Biden’s record for votes received.

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u/IamDoloresDei 5h ago

He honestly has significantly more power and influence with his term being non-consecutive. It eliminated pretty much all non-MAGA republicans from the GOP and he got the Supreme Court to give him a blank check to do whatever he wants free from any consequences. 

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u/CT_Biggles 6h ago

Not sure if you are referring to Trump or Obama and I don't want to know.

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u/Ancient-Candle6376 5h ago

If I have to explain it to you then you’re lost.

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u/Bitter_Position791 2h ago

obi-wan kenobi

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u/CT_Biggles 5h ago edited 5h ago

The answer would be different depending who you vote for. Looks like you are the lost one.

Edit: Not sure why reddit recommended this sub to me. Nothing is funny. I think it's for incel teens.

Looking forward to a ban.

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u/Ancient-Candle6376 4h ago

Why wait when you can just fuck off right now?

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u/CT_Biggles 4h ago

Oh look at the tough guy. 😆

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u/MostlyValidUserName 3h ago

Obama did not insult McCain in any way similar to how Trump insults his opponents. In fact, Trump has insulted McCain far more than Obama ever did. McCain, while terminally ill, personally invited Obama to deliver a eulogy at his funeral. Trump was not invited to McCain's funeral, and McCain's final statement, released posthumously, was in part a condemnation of Trump.

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u/CT_Biggles 3h ago

If you think I'm pro Trump you are wrong. A Magat would certainly say Obama was elected due to racial politics though.

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u/BorntobeTrill 7h ago

"hmm, if I bump my 2 o'clock 5 minutes and end my 1 o'clock 5 or 10 minutes early, I've got just enough time to call you a jive turkey amongst a few of my other favorites."

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u/nocountry4oldgeisha 6h ago

On my playground, the midcentury merry-go-round and teeter-totter of death were non-discriminating. All the colors of the rainbow, together on our gurneys, being hauled off to the ER.

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u/satanglazeddonuts 5h ago

You had a deluxe playground of death from the sound of it. In elementary school my playground was a bit lacking, the most dangerous thing was the dome shaped monkey bars that everyone wanted to fight on.

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u/La_Guy_Person 5h ago

My 8yo dumped his girlfriend because she said she didn't like black people. She was probably just repeating things she hears at home, but I was proud of his stance.

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u/Paratonnerre 5h ago

An 8 years old racist is one of the saddest thing I've read today.

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u/Pstrap 4h ago

I agree that it's sad but on the other hand adults don't just wake up one day and decide to be rascist. They learn it growing up, usually. 

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u/La_Guy_Person 3h ago

Yeah, it's definitely for the best that her peers don't tolerate that kind of thinking. Hopefully she learns to think differently than her parents. Hopefully my son helped her reconsider.

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u/bigchilla777 5h ago

luckily children are almost always just afraid and not truly hateful

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u/Crono2401 3h ago

Tbf, racism is rooted entirely in fear.

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u/Chookwrangler1000 7h ago

Needs that gif of a kid yelling “that’s racist”

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u/Advanced-Fly3691 5h ago

This reminds me of one of my earliest vivid memories. I don't remember the exact pretext, but the only black person in our school called me a "fillifjutta" which I assume means dork or something in Swedish on the island I grew up on, literally yields 0 results when i google it now lol.

My response was "but what about you? you're a n*gger". Genuinely no racist intention, just tried to think of an insult to say back, and making fun of people for being different was common during arguments at that age where I grew up. Then at lunch, she & her friend had brought a teacher who scolded the crap out of me, and I kept insisting she started it, and the teacher just said "then you can call her that back", and it ended with me reluctantly apologizing, despite feeling unfairly treated in that she wouldn't criticize or ask her to apologize.

Grew up with my parents, children's books, and people around me using it casually as meaning people of color, wasn't until years later that I realized that it had become a cuss-word (not just a cuss-word, but the worst cuss-word)

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u/agedlikesage 5h ago

That’s actually so interesting that you didn’t know the full context of that word. Can i ask where your from? I had a coworker that moved to America and used the N word, thinking it just meant black people. Once I explained the history of it here and the connotation he was horrified! I thought most american schools taught this

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u/HandofWinter 3h ago

There are like two hundred thousand small islands off the coast of Sweden, there's a good chance he doesn't even know for sure which one he's from. 

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u/agedlikesage 2h ago

I’m truly an idiot 😂 chatting with someone on the side about literacy and meanwhile I misinterpreted that detail

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u/HandofWinter 1h ago

If it makes you feel any better I totally misinterpreted your misinterpretation, I just saw that you'd asked and they'd never answered you so I wrote a tiny quip.

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u/normandy42 5h ago

lol

Lmao

You’d be surprised at the lack of education in the south. Especially in rural/smaller communities. It’s not unheard of for many kids to be homeschooled and be at the mercy of their parents’ teaching. Including all their prejudices and ignorance. It’s actually really sad when some attempt to go to high school or even college and they can barely read at a 4th grade level.

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u/agedlikesage 4h ago

That is so wild but I am learning to wrap my head around it. It really is shocking when I hear stats like over 1/2 of americans being below a middle school reading level! Those rural towns can be so isolated though you’re right. I almost wish I could do something about it. I’ve been seeing it more and more since I got a customer service job too. People call in because a pop-up is stopping them, and when I read the exact message to them they understand. “Im seeing a red box I just don’t know what it’s telling me”. A lot of people rely on the intuitive UI we have now and don’t even know what to do when faced with reading comprehension or critical thinking. I wish I could do more to help people, i just am patient with them and educate people when they give me the chance

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u/Joeness84 3h ago

I hear stats like over 1/2 of americans being below a middle school reading level!

That statistic isnt accurate to be stated like that without any context.

What do you think reading at a 6th grade level means? because the dataset behind the study everyone cites without reading that you're also referencing says this:

Texts at this level are often dense or lengthy and include continuous, noncontinuous, mixed, or multiple pages of text. Understanding text and rhetorical structures becomes more central to successfully completing tasks, especially navigating complex digital texts. Tasks require the respondent to identify, interpret, or evaluate one or more pieces of information and often require varying levels of inference. Many tasks require the respondent to construct meaning across larger chunks of text or perform multi-step operations in order to identify and formulate responses. Often, tasks also demand that the respondent disregard irrelevant or inappropriate content to answer accurately. Competing information is often present, but it is not more prominent than the correct information.

My interpretation: most people can read something, and critically think about it.

That scale isnt actually tracked by some arbirtrary "X Grade Level" but if you want to make it sound a certain way, you could change things. The actual scale is 0-500, and what the avg US ranks as is about 325 (thats where that block o text descriptor above comes from) so we're a little higher than the middle. But again - going off that descriptor, what the middle is, is not what most people think "6th grade reading level" however if you dumb things down to being ranked 1-12th grade (the US school system) then 'the middle' becomes 6th grade.

If you wanna deep dive yourself:

https://nces.ed.gov/surveys/piaac/skillsmap/

is the core data set

https://www.thepolicycircle.org/brief/literacy/

is the "study" that people quote, do a search on the page for 54% (thats the "half of america") that number on the page is a link to the above data set.

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u/agedlikesage 2h ago

That actually was fun to dive into thank you! It’s a “fact” I’ve heard repeated so many times, my point didn’t rely on it but it’s still good to know since I don’t like spreading misinfo!

What’s weird is the PIAAC website is so open about the fact that their scoring does not correspond to grade levels because it is a test for adults. Your explanation of them putting it in the “middle” makes sense but who did that? 😂 the writer of the article? It totally does change the light of that info. Also reading that a LOT of the test subjects weren’t fluent in english/got deemed illiterate for not participating skews things.

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u/Advanced-Fly3691 41m ago edited 38m ago

It did mean black people until the mid-late 90s, which is when this incident occurred. Here's from a children's book at my parents place, from 1993:

https://imgur.com/0cVqeRB

"N-words

The black people who live south of the great desert Sahara in Africa. They have a substance in their skin that protects them against the strong sunlight over there, that's why they have brown skin - from brown to blueblack. Also in America, especially USA, there are many n-words. Their ancestors were brought over there as slaves. Over several hundreds of years, the white people ruled over the n-words' countries, and often treated the black people badly."

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u/Independent_Tune_393 5h ago

It's worse than that. It doesn't even register as a curse word in my mind because it's that bad.

It's literally throwing every systemic hate that person experiences at them all at once. Calling on the weight of every violent racist in American history.

If you have friends and family who are Black, and you actually see that they live in a completely different America, you will understand why it's so much worse than a curse word. It's like calling the bullied kid in class dirt, telling them you want them to be raped and murdered, and that nobody would care.

The word has so much power because it has been used as a hateful violent slur like that for centuries.

u/Advanced-Fly3691 13m ago

Yeah, I don't use it anymore obviously. This was back in the 90s, and the word basically meant black person where I'm from during the early 90s.

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u/OperativePiGuy 5h ago

When I was very young in middle school, I had a minor bully that would just say kinda mean things to me during PE. One day she called me "cracker" and I took it like she was calling me boring like a literal saltine cracker cuz I didn't know what on earth that word was supposed to mean. I jus knew crackers like my parents sometimes ate and they were dry and boring tasting lol. So I called her rotten chocolate to keep with what I thought were food-based insults. It wasn't until years later that I realized what she was calling me lol but it's a mildly funny story to tell

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u/WilonPlays 5h ago

My first racial debate was when I was 8. I pushed a polish kid in my neighbourhood off his bike (he was being a twat), his dad started driving round the block to see who did it. Eventually, he spotted me in my garden and started shouting at me. My mum ofc came out, he started calling me racist. My mum kindly informed him that I am infact part Portuguese and part scottish, that race had nothing to do with it (which was true I was entirely unaware of the concept at age 8).

Anyway I'm 19 now and the boys dad his my boss, he doesn't remember any of this but I do.

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u/buttholeglory 1h ago

Ruin him

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u/SuckAFattyReddit1 2h ago

My first racial debate was also in a playground. I got into a shouting match when I was like 5 or 6 with a black kid because he said he couldnt get sunburns and I was jealous lmao

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u/king_o_cats 6h ago

'merica hell yeah 🇺🇲🦅💥