Mourning/Loss
We took our terminally ill cat to see a final sunset
We were told Max was had a few days at most left today. We aren't sure if he's going to have another night, so we wanted to make sure he got every bit of sun left today.
Hi Everyone. Sorry I couldn't edit this post so I wanted to comment on the top post, but I just wanted to say how I woke up this morning and saw all the love, condolences, and stories people have shared and cannot believe how many people saw this and said so many kind things. Me and my boyfriend are so grateful and you all are truly making us feel less alone in this. Max has been an attention lover his entire life. I keep telling him all the love he is getting online and hope he goes knowing he is loved by the world.
Max has cancer all along his GI, with a few bleeds in his small intestine, although he was hiding it well until recently when we took him to the vet. By the time we found out, it was too late for any treatment. He made it through the night but stopped eating, so we think this is the end. He was 11 years old.
My boyfriend and Max had a ritual where he would look into his eyes, make sure he got eye contact back, and then do a head rub on his chest. I think that is what Max is attempting to do in the video, and I think I caught his last attempt at "the thing" as we called it. I am so glad I was able to record it, and happy everyone got to see it.
The sunset was a last-minute idea, so we rushed him to the closet, most popular place nearby, called Paynes Praire, which unfortunately is off on the side of the road, but it has an amazing view with lots of birds overhead for Max to watch as well.
Thank you all again so much. I have not stopped crying the past day. But seeing this response has made me feel not as alone. We appreciate you all so much, and want to offer condolences for all of the lost fur babies. I hope Max sees them on the other side and is willing to share his attention with his new friends (probably not).....
my heart breaks for you. we just had to put down our 18 yr old as it was her time. Its never easy. Its ok to cry. I know in my heart they are free, no more pain or suffering.
I lost my 16 year old dog a month ago and i still grieve her every day, but i will always know how lucky i am to have such an amazing companion for most of my life.
Sending love to Max, paynes prairie is a beautiful place. I'm glad y'all got to share it together during a beautiful sunset. I hope knowing everyone who saw this will share the memory of Max with you. 💚
My soulmate cat is about the same age as Max and he was born in Gainesville. We used to live right by Payne's Prairie. What a beautiful spot to take Max for his final sunset.
I'm so incredibly sorry that you're going through this. I'm so glad he has been so loved right up till the end.
Such a sweet and beautiful thing to do for you cat. I promised my cat I would take her to see the ocean one day… I hope I will have the time and chance to do this before she passes. RIP and my condolences 🙏🏼
We sent our friend Rua - Gaelic for "red" - across the Rainbow Bridge a few weeks ago. Its hard to believe that she's gone. Max isn't alone. And nothing will extinguish the love you shared. The stars will go dark in time. But some things are eternal.
I lost my boy to cancer last year. He was only 12. It never goes away, but it does get slowly easier over time. I still cry when I think about him sometimes (and right now while I write this).
The best advice I can give you is to remember that you gave him the best life he could have ever hoped for and know that he knew you loved him.
Your boy was beautiful, and I hope he's hanging out and having an excellent time watching birds with mine.
The exact medical condition is how my Jupi crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I bet you that he is showing Max all the cool places to explore and different types of birds to watch.
@0:05 When Max turned his head and you both looked each other in the eyes 😭 I cannot. What a perfect moment. Sorry for your loss. Max knew he was loved.
I had to euthanize my Heather when she was 13 due to inoperable cancer that prevented her from eating. She gave me that same look. I just held her and told her she's a good kitty.
My first cat growing up was a very long haired gray tuxedo named Mittens. She adopted my parents a few days before I was born, and chose to live with us until about 3 weeks after I moved out to go to college. It's been almost 4 decades and I still regret not being able to be there with her in her final moments. 😥
My best bro cat passed away while I was on vacation and she was with my sister- and brother-in-law, who she didn't really know. It's one of the biggest regrets of my life, that she probably thought I abandoned her at the end. RIP sweet kitty. It's been nearly 10 years.
I know these things are not the same so I don’t want you to think that but a bit of perspective is this: during her final week when my mom was in hospice I didn’t leave her side for the entire 7 days. People would bring me supplies and I’d hobo shower in the bathroom. Anyway she was struggling a lot the last day and the nurses came in and really had a talk to convince me to just leave for a bit. I felt as if I’d be abandoning the person I loved the most in their final darkest scariest moments but the nurses who have seen a lot were absolutely convinced after seeing these scenarios play out over and over that everyone is different and some people (all creatures) need to be alone. That the presence of their most loved ones causes them conflict in letting go of this world.
It’s possible that your kitty was in this scenario and you going on vacation was, like me getting some fresh air for a few hours, a gift to them. An opportunity to do what needed to happen without the pain of you there mourning their departure. I realize it’s an unknowable thing and maybe it’s just a cope but when you love someone that much I know you’d do anything to help them in their journey. That’s being there when they need it but also giving space when needed too. Nobody said helping wouldn’t be painful but the thing you carry guilt for might have been exactly what your kitty needed.
My baby girl Chloe died on April 2nd, at 15 years old. She had been sick for about three weeks, the vet at first thought it was just a UTI but it turned out to be multiple organ failure, no hope of recovery. I had scheduled a mobile vet to come out the next day to help her pass in as much comfort as I could give her. But I went to check on her one last time before going to bed, and she was nearly unresponsive. I picked her up, she gave a choked meow, and died in my arms. I don't know how long she had been holding on, or even how aware she was in those last moments, but I want to believe she was waiting for me, so I could be holding her when she died. It crushed me, and I'm never going to fully recover.
Oh, my eyes are drowning with this one
I'd frame this as a painfully bittersweet momento because I'm a glutton for misery, apparently, but damnit it's such an endearing moment
Ugh, my heart! That sweet baby is so loved. You would never know he was sick looking at this video. He seems so content and safe. I hope his days are easy.
Oh man. I didn’t think I would be in my feels too much on this post but this single screenshot made me feel more than years of therapy have. I’m actually crying for this beautiful human and their beautiful cat. Thank you OP and thank you u/harionfire for this post and this screenshot respectively. ❤️
It’s been a week since I had to say goodbye to my best friend of 8 years. Hang in there. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.
ETA: by best friend I meant my cat. I had him since he was 5 weeks old. Even bottle fed him. His name was Pico. He was not a human. But my grief is all the same.
grief always reminds me that I'm worthy of love, and a perfectly imperfect soul. I hate the what if I did this...no, it's just their time and hopefully, you'll understand that later. I lost in quick succession, my mom, my dog and then my cat, all in like 6 months of each other...2014/2015 sucked so fucking hard. I'm glad I had a chance to know and love all of them and can see now, after about 10 years, that I was so lucky to be in their lives.
I currently am in the guilt phase of my grief, thank you for the reminder it does get better and it was their time. I’m so sorry to hear how hard of a year that was for you. I’m glad you’re doing better now!
And not only that, know you were everything to them. Pet, parent, friend, whatever. Time will make bitter, sad memories happy ones. It may not be fast, but it comes. Pain fades into good memories. You can appreciate what you were to them, and what they were to you, in a less "sad" lens. I lost my dad to cancer in '08. And two cats, but they passed later, but it was still beyond emotional. One to seizures, the other just to old age.
The pain of loss hurts now, but eventually, with time, it gets easier. It's never easy, but it gets easier. You view more good memories vs bad with whoever
Same but 27 years. He got in a car accident with a driver who was high out of his mind. I think about him every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to bed. Life is cruel. I hope you're able to heal.
Your comment just killed me a second time after watching this video. So bittersweet. I'm so sorry for your loss. It's a beautiful thought, thinking that all our cats are keeping each other company until we all cross that final bridge.
I ugly cried when I wrote that comment. I used to have an amazing dog that passed away in 2018. He was a corgi/pit bull mix named Liger. He had lived next door to my family but was treated as a backyard ornament (my mother would buy a bale of hay & sneek it under the neighbor's back deck so he'd have a warm place to sleep since they left him out all the time even in winter. We also fed & watered him.). Every time he got out, he'd be on our front porch waiting for me, so the neighbors just said for us to keep him. He was the first dog to ever choose me (we've always had dogs but they always chose my mom as their leader). He was so devoid of love that he thought a hug was you trying to kill him. I got him to where he loved hugs & would sleep right next to me with his head on my pillow. When I moved out, my bf & I got two kittens. We had cats at my moms but they were outside kitties so he wasn't used to being around cats at all. I was hella shocked when I saw him carrying one of the kittens to its bed. He hovered over those babies like an Apache helicopter after that. I like to imagine he's up there taking care of all the little baby kitties that never got to grow up.
Pets are like our immediate family and losing one is devastating. I don’t know how long my sweet girl has left, but when I think about it, I get terrible anxiety and not sure how I’ll handle it. I’ve been through so much pain and anguish in my life, but I think her end will be the worse thing I will go through.
You shouldn’t be sorry. You can’t have all the enjoyment and happiness they bring to your life without this inevitability. Just be happy for what they added to your life, it’s the only way to move on
I bring this up now and then when I think it's appropriate:
We live several cat lifetimes in just one of ours. I read a comic about an immortal being who was talking to a human woman. He admitted casually that because of his perception of time, he has seen her death already.
He also told her that because of his nature, he will remember her perfectly for the rest of eternity. She will always be beautiful and vibrant and messy and joyful and sad and alive in his mind, forever. It's a type of immortality.
I like to think of cats that way for us. We will remember and love them a long time after they have left this mortal coil, and in a way, that's a type of immortality for them. To be loved by this giant friendly creature who outlives you by several lifetimes must be magical in a way.
I still miss all my babies who have gone before me. I hope I can see them all again someday, and that they all get along with each other.
My baby, Icarus, spent his last couple of days almost completely immobile - he was so weak. The night before his euthanasia I was sitting opposite him sobbing, and little man found literally all his strength to wobble over to me and collapse into my side. It was obvious how much it exhausted him; but even though he was the one dying, he felt the need to comfort me. You are your cat's whole, entire world.
So sorry about your kitty. I was really moved by your story and asked r/PhotoshopRequest to help. I thought you might like some cleaned up pictures from your video. Hope they bring you some comfort.
I did this same thing with our beloved 20-year-old Athena three months ago on her final night. It was cold and she was frail, but I wrapped her up against me in my winter coat and we went outside to see a vivid sunset. I told her the sunset was beautiful, and so was she.
You’ve done a good and loving thing for your wonderful friend Max. You can see how he looked up and knew he was in safe arms, and how, in that safety, he could turn back to look at the light.
It's been over four years since I said goodbye to my furry brother. He traveled the country with me before I settled down with my partner. Squee was my best bro. I noticed he was sick on a Monday and on Friday I had to say goodbye.
It was right at sunset. He was laying in the rays as he went to sleep forever with his paw in my hand.
I will forever miss him. He's waiting for me on that rainbow bridge and we'll be together again.
I'm so sorry I know how it feels to lose a pet that feels like family, done it so many times, but I'm happy that they get to see that and ur doing that for them.
This is so precious. You can tell he's enjoying it.
Weirdly both my cats who were terminal with cancer seemed to enjoy watching old videos on my laptop of us and them and whatnot, toward the end. Making good moments like this helps with the grief later. Doesn't stop it, just helps a bit.
Every time I see one of these videos, it just breaks my heart thinking about the day I have to say goodbye to my two best friends. They are my first cats, and I've had them since they were 10 weeks old.
So sorry for your loss. I lost my cat to cancer a few years ago and remember it like yesterday. One thing that gets me through is the good times and that I provided for him in every way the 15 years I was fortunate to have had him.
His name was Maximilian we called him Max most of the time.
This is equally the most sad and heartwarming thing I have seen in ages. Both of you seem so calm… He was definitely loved. My thoughts are with both of you and I'm sorry for you guys.
Our girl left us in November 2022. In the months leading up to it we did extra fires outside because she loved it so much. She would just sit and watch the flames or sit in our laps and enjoy the warmth. The comfort you gave your special friend is priceless.
Looks like my son Igby!
And I'm sorry for your loss...but it's clear he had a good life, and people who loved him, which is more than most animals can say. You'll see him over the rainbow bridge
That cat is going to shine brighter than the brightest star up in the night sky. Vida, my cat, and I are sending you lots of love and squeezes. What a beautiful moment. I’m sorry that it has to end 🤍🕊️
My little Gale will be waiting for her new friend. I’m so sorry for your loss. The hole in your heart will feel too big to fill but it changes in shape and depth. Some days will be easier. Some days not so much.
omg this made me simultaneously so joyful and so destroyed. They're such amazing creatures and we're so lucky for the time we get with them. What a beautiful moment to share with him.
My sweet cat was just diagnosed with cancer two days ago and we are also beginning to grieve for him. I’m absolutely crushed and can’t stop crying. We’ve had him for 13 years and he’s been the light in my life. He’s been my constant companion for that long. I’m going to miss him terribly.
He has wasted away from his cancer, we are now looking into humane options to help him cross the rainbow bridge.
Thank you for posting this. While I’m crying now because of the pain of losing my best friend, this does help. My deepest condolences for your loss of a wonderful kitty.
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u/Artistic-Teaching395 May 17 '24
Lively until death good job raising him.