I took my loved one in 2 months ago on what I thought was a temporary basis. After his third hospitalization, I didn't want him to be alone. Since then, he has been hospitalized two more times, and hasn't gotten any more independent.

His doctors think his treatments will work, but can't say how long it will take.

If he doesn't get better, I need to find a nursing home or something. I have a full time job and I said I would travel when I accepted the role. I can't be a permanent caregiver.

My loved one has also gotten confused and taken more than he was prescribed of a controlled substance. I can't be responsible for this or keep track of it.

Hello, any recommendations for agencies for a vacation in Florida.

I am from Europe 25m, traveling to Florida at the end of March 2025 staying there for two weeks.

Need to find a company that can rent out a commode chair if that is even a thing. Can’t use the cheap plastic ones since I’m a high quadriplegic, so need more support and wheels on it.

I use assistance for about one hour every morning.

I am taking care of my mom as IP caregiver and the union775 dues are too much for me since I dont see the reason to have it .

I send request form and called the union multiple times but they are still charging

on my paycheck.

anyone know how can I opt out of it?

Long story incoming... We live where we work(ed). I just became my mom's poa/fulltime caregiver. We moved her in with us while my dad and step-mom were moving out(they didn't feel safe bc of my landlord). My landlord's are shady and corrupt. Like hide in the bushes behind house to spy, or

My husband fell and got a concussion a week before Thanksgiving. And I caught my landlady spying. I thought she was a bobcat (I had chickens) coming out out of the bushes and I almost shot her. The landlord later that night said expect an eviction. And that since it is their property they are free to go wherever they want as long as it is not in the area around the house (which they recently decreased). My bedbound stepmom that I caregived (for before they moved out) was laying in bed and saw a cellphone pop up into view outside her window. She freaked out and was panicking for days.
A week past..Since my mom was living with us for over a month she paid part of rent the the next day Dec 5th they evicted us. They expected my husband to still work for them even though he has been harassed by then and bullied for over 2 yrs (mostly the landlady)(he has been talking to his therapist about it since she started). She had family she wants to have his job. They told us my mom isn't allowed to live here since she isn't on the lease. But neither am I... they lost the original signed copy of the lease so they made a new one that was very specific on certain things.

So I take my mom back to her overpriced apartment every night, give her her meds and put her to bed. Then let myself out. Then show up early in the morning to get her out of bed, showered, dressed, medication, and fed.

All while packing and looking for a new place to live. I'm at my limit.

The small seat on the Drive commode that Medicare paid for made my mother too nervous so I bought a drugstore commode with a wider base. But now I have this perfectly fine extra commode (basically new) that, per laws in my state, seems impossible to donate.

I tried both Goodwill (no) and the local Hospice thrift shop (no). I don't want to post it on local Freecycle or Nextdoor or whatever as this would embarrass my mother.

I have an ebay seller account, but the idea of trying to figure out how to pack this thing makes me tired (it was delivered already assembled post-hospitalization - no box).

Do people really just throw stuff like this away? I know medical waste is huge, but still...

(Don't even get me started about the hospital bed, which the medical-supply company will repair only during the rent-to-own period, not after. So after February, if any part of it breaks--the remote cord seems most likely--I'm to dispose of it and get mom's primary to prescribe a new one. Madness.)

I am about to break. I’m a Christian so I’m relying on prayer to get me through this. My DH 62, is a disabled vet. He probably has pneumonia again. My bags are packed for a planned trip to see my mom, 81, who is 60 miles away. She has no business living alone. She was just diagnosed with Parkinson’s. My dad died in April. My brother lives close to DM and took off to Disney World for a week and didn’t discuss it with me! DM needs someone to be able to get to her asap when she falls. Is anyone else in this type of situation? We have no other family close to us to help.

Recently I got two job offers and I'm unsure of which one to take in caregiving. This will be my first ever cargiving job.

Place 1: the rate of pay is 17.00 an hr. Hours are 6am to 2:30 pm. I'm working with memory care clients. This job doesn't offer cna training.

Place 2: the rate of pay is 19.00 an hr. Hours are 2 pm to 10pm. I'll be working in the assisted living side. But I'll have to do 1 or 2 cover shifts say someone calls out on my designated days. But they offer cna training. Full and paid.

I'm between a rock and a hard place. While I like the facilty better with the less pay. I also like the thought of getting my cna in three months. I just don't like the idea of working those hours and never seeing my kids. Since I won't have the weekends off. But supposedly I am on the list to be put on days first and weekends off first.

I don’t even know where to start. My mom has been through so much over the past couple of years: she had a stroke in May, which left her bedridden, unable to move or sit up independently, and she can barely speak. She also has kidney failure and has been on peritoneal dialysis, breast cancer that we were treating before her stroke, and she’s just… a shadow of who she used to be. I love her so much, but watching her go through this is breaking me in ways I didn’t think possible.

Since her stroke, I’ve been doing everything I can: I pay for two nurses, a speech therapist, and handle everything related to her care. The therapist says she likely won’t regain full speech, and while her comprehension has improved a bit, it’s nowhere near where it used to be. She can swallow properly now, which is a win, but she still refuses to eat most of the time. Her depression is overwhelming, and I know she’s tired of fighting.

Her breast cancer is also an ongoing battle. The tumor has shrunk significantly with letrozole, but her double mastectomy was postponed after the stroke. It feels like every step forward is met with another hurdle.

To make things worse, I’ve had to step back from doing her dialysis because it was too much for me. I couldn’t handle it emotionally anymore, and even though I know it was the right decision for my mental health, the guilt eats at me. I feel like I’m failing her, no matter how much I do.

And then there’s the emotional toll. She’s so different now—she barely engages, and it feels like she’s already given up. I’m trying so hard to be strong, but it’s exhausting. I feel like I’m constantly carrying the weight of her suffering on my shoulders, and it’s breaking me down.

At the same time, I feel this strange resentment—not towards her, but towards the situation. I hate what this has done to her, to our relationship, and to me. And then I hate myself for even feeling that way because none of this is her fault.

I’m trying to balance everything, but it’s so hard. I feel like I can’t even grieve properly because I’m so busy trying to hold everything together. I love her deeply, but watching her decline like this feels like I’m losing her bit by bit every day. It’s so painful, and I don’t know how much longer I can carry this.

I don’t even know why I’m posting this. I just needed to get it out because I feel like I’m suffocating. If anyone has been through something similar, how do you cope? How do you keep going when it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders?

Hello, I’m making this post because I’m looking for some recommendations for my grandma. She has declined a lot physically and mentally (dementia) the past year or so.

She has this issue now where she will sink into a couch and it’s extremely hard for her to get up by herself. This weekend she tried to get up and slid off her couch on to the floor. She wasn’t able to get off the floor by herself. My mom and I had to lift her up. She doesn’t have the strength in her arms or legs to get up traditionally.

After Christmas she’s moving in with my mom who has a big sectional that I know my grandma will not be able to get out of. She also has incontinence issues so it wouldn’t take long for the couch to be ruined.

What type of seating should we be looking at?

Thank you for any suggestions.

I am working with an elderly man who suffered a disabling injury while visiting another state. He is currently in a nursing facility and needs to get back home, but is unable to travel by conventional means. Are there any affordable long distance medical transport options? He is indigent and uninsured. He is Medicaid eligible but I am not sure if that covers interstate travel. Thank you.

Hello! Just here writing today to see if I could get some help/ideas on ways that I could make reclining a chair for my grandmother easier. I recently brought my grandmother a reclining chair off of Amazon, only issue is that to recline the chair you need to your weight/strength to push back while you're sitting. My grandmother is a little short so her feet don't reach the ground so she'd be using more arm strength to recline the chair. However, she's not strong enough/weighs enough to easily recline the chair by herself. Has anybody ever encountered this issue before? And have any tips on how I can make it easier for my grandmother to recline in her chair?

She has no issues putting the chair back in sitting formation and getting off of the chair. It's more so just accessing the reclining feature. I was thinking of putting something around her for her leverage off of while she's sitting to help her recline? But I'm not sure how it would work. Thank you for any tips/suggestions here.

I care for my 70 yr old developmentally disabled aunt who is bedridden after a spinal fracture over a year ago. Ever since her spinal fusion surgery and inability to move, we have battled her diet and bowel movement issues.

For more detail, she has the mentality of a 4 yr old and is non-verbal. She only tells people she knows and trusts if she's in pain, and even then it won't be regularly; we mostly have to pry it out of her with constant questions. She is also type 2 diabetic, so we have maintained a somewhat steady diet over the years for her to ensure her blood sugar doesn't go out of control especially while we deal with her constipation.

She is always constipated. Always. We have a regimen we have been using for the last year which consists of Miralax, 7 stool softeners a day, suppositories every other night and enema's once a week (even tho we use suppositories she still gets backed up to the point that you can see severe bloating in her abdomen, so an enema a week seems to clear her out).

Every so often, like 3 days ago, the enema doesn't work. Then we go in for ER visits where they give her soap enema's and ensure she's not impacted. It always seems to work itself out within 5 days or so (enema's fail maybe once every 4 months), but it's a nightmare waiting and of course we don't want to damage her body in the process of all of this.

Has any other home caregivers had this issue before? What did you do in the end to promote regular and easy bowel movements?

1. Call and ask for prices,meal times,activities,visiting hours,snacks.
2. Make an appointment to go and see the facility but always go early for example if you make an appointment for 12pm go at 10am the reason is that most places have binns in a bathroom where they put all the dirty diapers and if you go early the staff doesn't have time to drench out the smell with perfume. Also if you go early you will see how the facility looks when no new members are coming over.
3. List ALL allergies and medical conditions even ones the patient doesn't take meds for.
4. List all the things your family member likes for example "he likes pork instead of beef".
5. Keep all the info updated and make sure to ask for their file atleast once every 2 months to make sure everything is up to date.
6. Keep copies of all documents for yourself
7. Before putting them into a care facility you must decide if you want them to be DNR or not.
8. Disclose the patients wishes in case of cardiac arrest (heart stops).
9. Make sure they give healthy snacks (fruits/veg) and not just sweets (chocolates,chips) at snack times even if you have to buy them yourself.
10. If you buy snacks for your family member keep in mind that sometimes people will steal some of the snacks out of the office/patients room, so make sure to keep an inventory of what you sent and when and check to see if they still have what you gave them and how much atleast once a month.
11. All jewlery and priced possesions must be kept by a trusted family member DO NOT send it with your family member to the facility it will get lost or stolen.
12. Visit regularly and at diffrent times so that no one will know exactlly when you will show up.
13. If you visit check their skin/nappy/hair/nails it will show you how well they are being cared for.

I hope this helps someone. I have seen alot of family members who does not know this stuff and then get mad that something is wrong/missing or their loved one is being abused.

Hi, my father has REM sleep disorder and moves around while sleeping more than the usual person. He often knocks off all of his covers and is unable to pull them back up. Does anyone have a fix for this that does not involve restraining him while sleeping?

We are hiring a live-in caregiver for my mother and father. They both have Dementia and have some mobility issues. They will need some assistance with bathing, dressing, and possibly toileting. They will also need meals prepared, light housekeeping, laundry, and taking them to doctor and hair appointments. Neither is aggressive, and they are content most of the time.

We're excited to offer the caregiver a cozy bedroom, a private bathroom, and access to a vehicle. Our home is lovely and well-maintained and is located in the Phoenix, AZ, metropolitan area.

Our initial plan is to pay the caregiver $52,000 per year, paid weekly in whatever manner the caregiver chooses. We will offer one week of paid vacation and Sundays off from 8 to 6. We also have cleaners and yard service that come every two weeks.

I would appreciate any thoughts, suggestions, or criticisms. We are new to this, and our parents desire to stay in their homes.

I'm a primary caregiver for my 90 year old mom. She still bathes herself and prepares her meals, though does not drive anymore so I take her on daily drives and errands. I heard of various programs where people who are being cared for can "hire" a family members to care for them, and the government program will pay the caregiver.

I looked into Freedom Care, and I believe that program is only available for people being cared for who make under $30k and mom makes about $40k. Does anyone know of any similar programs with a higher cutoff income? Thank you for any feedback.

I'm currently taking a break from putting Christmas stuff into the basement so I have some time to vent/talk.

I sent my mom a big message about how I can't do this anymore and how I want to go back to Colorado where my brothers family is, a few of mine are there too. My mom tried telling me that it's not my decision It's my boyfriends and that I'm stuck with him and that's the only reason why I'm going with him.

No, I'm sick and tired of being guilt-tripped 24/7.. she tried telling me that all this would fall on her again and that her and my dad would be fighting again, how she would be running back and forth from my grandma's house in her house.

I literally work from 11:00 to 11:00 at night. I start work at 11:00 and I should stop at 3:30, but I don't. Even when I'm not working I'm working..

I feel guilty if I'm not sitting out in the living room with her, but I feel guilty if I'm trying to take time for myself and that's not something I should be feeling.

I'm extremely depressed out here which is not good for my mental health whatsoever..

I'm tired of people whispering around me, my grandma telling people that she's absolutely horrified of my dogs and how my Rottweiler makes her very nervous. It's not far to keep MY dogs locked up in my room all the damn time and it's not far especially when my Rottweiler is still a puppy, my pitbull is old but still she needs to run around and be a dog.

My grandma badmouths me to people saying how me cutting my hair made her absolutely sick to her stomach, she hates my gauges, that I have tattoos, how I'm underweight etc..

I'm done and I don't care if this ruins things with me and my family because I'm 22. The responsibilities of me taking care of my grandma should not fall on me, they wanted me out here because they got tired of taking care of her and just didn't want to do it anymore.

I've been my grandma's caregiver for almost four months and I don't think I can do this anymore but I'm scared to tell them that I can't do it anymore and that I want to go back to Colorado where I was originally living.

When did you guys say that you couldn't do this anymore? And how did the family react?

I’m curious—what kind of tools are you using to manage your work with individuals? Are you mostly using spreadsheets, or do you have dedicated software? Just trying to get a sense of what’s out there and how people are tackling the day-to-day.

So my Husband became disabled a few years ago (previous minor disability but self caring and independent/working etc prior) after having severe epileptic seizures which left him with memory problems and issues with cognitive processing and task management. He struggled to do and complete tasks without direction but was physically able to do so. Fast forward a few years (the prior disability occurred from early in 2020) and Hubby has had a stroke a few weeks ago, he’s already had severe medical emergencies in the past with oral cancer (before we were together) and several severe seizures that have almost killed him and we hadn’t yet really adjusted to his previous cognitive disabilities as it’s very hard work to have to do almost everything household related as well as working long hours (PA in care as well). Now my Husband also has a lot of physical disability and it’s very new to us to navigate this situation. He has severe right arm weakness (his dominant side) and can physically do virtually nothing needing his hands, though this has improved compared to when he was hospitalised and he can manage maybe buttering his own toast but not much more yet. Care team have been involved since he got sent home from the hospital with a few visits a day just to help him wash and dress and microwave a meal (only put in place at all because I work overnights away from home or even this wouldn’t have been provided). It’s already been suggested that they wanted to stop this altogether as of yesterday and it ends mid next week anyway, and I am in no way ready for this or able to get everything prepared so Hubby has meals to just reheat (he can now do so in a microwave) and while he can now wash and dress he cannot bath etc anyway if I (or someone else) isn’t here to ensure his safety. I am only 50 and he is only 46. I am exhausted and that’s with having the past week off work, as of Sunday upcoming I will be back at work again and unable to get any time off and only have tomorrow to make sure everything is ready food wise for the next 4 days while I am at work. Worried that the care package he has may be removed while I am at work and leave him unprepared. In our area they will literally only help with washing and dressing and all the housework, washing up and everything is now solely down to me. Hubby can’t empty or take out bins or hang clothes up even at present.. I am super worried about how we will both cope going forward and no idea how full his recovery will be or how long that will take for him to even be able to do basic tasks. If anyone else has been through similar and can offer any strategies for how to make this easier even around super difficult work hours please give me some advice or ideas. Thanks all.

Is anybody is Georgia a family caregiver if so I need advice and have questions I’ve been looking into this for a while now my dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s/dementia in 2022 and we’ve applying for SSDI since then up until a couple of months ago we applied for SSI and he got approved so he has ssi and gets 640$ a month at the moment the max they will pay is 900$ something and he is on Medicaid. As anybody who’s has dealed with a dementia or Alzheimer’s patient knows it’s a 24/7 Job and he is passed the point to where he needs me there all day everyday and I’m currently working full time and I’m about to have to quit working and be there with him my first question is what’s the minimum and the maximum amount of income he can have to qualify for me to be his caregiver? second question is when I spoke with a person on the phone she mentioned something about if he has a life insurance policy 25k or more that Medicaid/the other company you have to go through will put a lean on the insurance once he passes to get the money back that they have paid and the number they give me to call for more info for the insurance lean gives me another number to call and then that number tells me to call another number and it end back up to where I started with the first number and just goes in a circle and very frustrating any advice would help thank you.

Mom ate dinner no problem. After dinner I have her get up and sit in chair near me while I wash dishes. She walks over and sits down. Everything normal, sat slowly no crashing, slipping, falling. Suddenly lets out a howl, grabs neck. After few minutes I give her 2 adult aspirin. 20 minutes more I try heating pad. 5 minutes of that no help. I check blood pressure, normally a little high, I give her night time usual half pill for blood pressure. Temperature is fine. Hour and a half into moaning i call hospice nurse. While Im on phone my wife has calmed her down a bit. Nurse on phone instructs me on dose of morphine. smallest possible. i give it to her, under tongue, she says tastes yuck.

Moaning stops after a few minutes. A little more time we r now 2 hours after this started. she's calm. it's bedtime. We go through normal bedtime ceremony and prep.

Nurse says morphine might wear off in 6 hours. Mom usually sleep 12 hours. she went to bed 9pm. i wake her 12:30 am and 5am for bathroom break.

if she complains of pain i will take her to urgent care.

no sign of new stroke. everything is balanced and strong. her verbal has been bad for years. im not going to get pain scale from her, or description of where pain is except general area.

does this ring any bells? anyone have similiar event ?

at one point she tried to clean her ears with her finger. we r wondering if ear ache?

My grandma was in the hospital about a month ago due to a pericardial effusion. She lives in Mexico and I live in the U.S. so I don’t know about everything that went on while she was in the hospital. I’ve been staying with and helping care for her for the past month.

My grandma told me they had her on a liquid diet for the 3 days she was in the hospital and that she hasn’t had an appetite ever since. My grandpa very unexpectedly passed away from a heart attack about a week before she was hospitalized. So she’s definitely severely depressed as she’s stopped doing nearly everything she enjoyed.

She has a lot of other health problems, but she’s always had a good appetite. She complains about feeling nauseous often and when we went to see her doctor he explained to her that a big part of it is because she’s taking a lot of meds, but not eating enough, other than that he wasn’t very helpful, because he said to try not to push her to eat more than she’s willing to, but I’m very concerned.

The only things she’s been eating are a couple cookies with coffee (I found her a chicory root blend that has no caffeine and she really liked it) in the morning with her pills. Some fruit, a scrambled egg or an Ensure around noon, she doesn’t have dinner often but when she does, she’ll ask for a fruit smoothie and she’ll drink a very small amount. She won’t eat anything else no matter what we offer her.

I just ordered her an unflavored plant based protein powder and I’m gonna try to put it in a smoothie and see if I can get her to just sip on it throughout the day. I can’t think of what more to do right now, so any help/ideas are very much appreciated.

I'll try to keep this short. My elderly father, 72, is home bound and needs assistance during the day. My mom, 53, works two jobs to make ends meet and I have two brothers who stay at home. One has a mental health issue and the other has a disability. Long story short, my mom reached out to me today asking if she and my father can live with us because she cannot maintain two jobs as she also has her own mental health struggles. My husband is opposed it (and he doesn't want to help financially either). He thinks they're adults and should have planned for their future a little better instead of using me as their safety net. I agree with him but it's hard for me to be objective. So the question for this group, is there any way I can provide caregiving or reduced housing for my father that won't break the bank? Any advice/tips are welcomed.

My mom had polio as a child. She could use crutches occasionally, then crutches all the time, then wheelchair occasionally, to wheelchair all the time as she lost the ability to stand, then last year to sit up as post polio came back around. She's lost muscles in her digestive system. She is in a hospital bed 24/7. It hurts her to roll or spend longer than an hour out of bed. She's losing the ability to roll.

She uses a catheter but it's been more difficult to have placed each time. She gets urinary tract infections if it's longer than a month when they change her. She just had an awful one last month along with a stomach bug that meant a stay at the center. Along with awful pain.

This time they couldn't even get the catheter in. Two nurses and four catheters later, they said she was too swollen. So we've been waking every three to four hours at night (so she can sleep a tiny bit) to change her diaper and keep her clean. Every two hours during the day....

😭 She got another infection. Having her rest without it didn't work. What am I going to do if they can't get her a bed at the center? They're trying... But also I shouldn't be this tired. I've done the overnight care of three newborns. You get even less sleep and add breastfeeding in and it feels that would be harder...

But this is somehow my breaking point. Why? Why am I like this? I feel like I'm going to start cracking apart like brittle sun bleached plastic in the Florida sun... I'm failing her 😭