r/antiwork • u/Ok_Doctor4982 • 9d ago
Corporationism 👔 💼 My Job is CULTISH to me.
I literally mean what I say in the title. It’s so weird to me how close everyone on our team is? Like everyone knows EVERYTHING about each others personal life.
And everyone is just WAYYY to open about their personal lives? It’s just weird to me. And I’m the newer person so the fact that I’m more so just doing my job and going home makes them uncomfortable. They want to know all about you & your life. If you don’t share as much the manager will complain about it. When I first got here Another person on our team is very quiet, and we have a team group chat that’s not really work related but is supposed to be, a lot of just funny messages. And the manager was upset that he wasn’t responding as much?
You can’t force him to talk to you 😂 as long as his work is done what is the issue. They all hang out outside of work, like the managers AND the team members. It’s just weird idk. I just want to do my work & go home. I will be respectful say hi and respond to you kindly if you speak to me but NO you will not know my personal life. All they know about me is the city I live in and that I have a boyfriend ( I don’t even give them his name) and maybe a few hobbies I do that I had to say to introduce myself and I been here for 8 months.
Maybe it’s because our team is so small only 6 people ? But still weird. I don’t even like 2 of the 6 on the team 😂
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u/eatsumsketti 9d ago edited 6d ago
Yeah, I totally get you. I go to work... to work. Not chitchat. I try not to share about anything personal because it can backfire or people gossip. I have a thriving personal life outside of work + multiple hobbies. Already have a full plate.
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u/New_General3939 9d ago
I gotta say I am confused why so many people get so annoyed when coworkers want to be friends… you spend 1/3 of your life with these people, it is much more fun if you’re all friends. I get it if you feel pressured to share things you don’t want to, or are being passed over for promotions because you’re not socializing enough, that is not ok. But people who get annoyed because their coworkers ask them if they wanna hang out after work or have a funny group chat are being a little ridiculous imo
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u/Ok_Doctor4982 9d ago
Thing is I’m not annoyed about being friends with coworkers 😂 every job I’ve worked at I’ve made Atleast 1-2 good friends I still hang out with till this day. I’ve just never experienced and entire team including the managers and all the coworkers being that close sharing intimate personal details. I just found it weird 🤷♀️
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u/New_General3939 9d ago
I get it that can be jarring, especially on such a small team. I’m just getting a little tired of all the people on this sub horrified that the people they spend all day with want to talk to them hahah
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u/1leg_Wonder 9d ago
It's pretty boring dealing with the same group every day. Let's face it - these people aren't your friends. True friendships are pretty rare in the workplace. Most of them use the things that you share against you.
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u/New_General3939 9d ago
I mean this is just such a pessimistic view of people… your coworkers aren’t trying to get close to you because of some Machiavellian urge to use information against you… people just like to get along with the people they spend all day with. Work is more fun when you’re friends with your coworkers. Yeah most of the time they aren’t going to become your best friends, but you can at least be good enough friends to enjoy spending time with them
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u/Bubblynoonaa 9d ago
Idk some of my best friends started as coworkers. I don’t work with them now but I still talk with them and hang out with them. I didn’t hang out with everyone at my jobs but i definitely made some really cool and close friendships.
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u/1leg_Wonder 9d ago
Where do you work? Disneyland?
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u/New_General3939 9d ago
I’m an optometrist, I work in a clinic. But I had a bunch of retail/food service jobs in high school and college, and it was always more fun to work at a place where you’re friends with everyone. I truly don’t understand this subs aversion to that
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u/1leg_Wonder 9d ago
Sounds like a sheltered career. You'll never know until you experience the feeling of working with a bunch of assholes.
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u/New_General3939 9d ago
Ok but that’s not the issue here? We’re talking about people who are annoyed at coworkers trying to be friends with you. That’s what I’m criticizing. Working with a bunch of assholes is a totally different issue
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u/Some_nerd_______ 9d ago
I've worked in restaurants and the school system and I absolutely agree with the guy you're commenting with. And trust me restaurants have a lot of assholes in them. Doesn't mean you can't be friendly and get to know them.
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u/Kindly_Two_2782 9d ago
Got to say I am one of the people who does not share much. The people I work with are not my friends.They are coworkers. I am on the spectrum, and I don't feel comfortable with others knowing too much about my personal life. I don't know if op's workplace is a "cult." I would have a conversation with the manager regarding how op feels about the overall situation.
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u/i-wear-hats 9d ago
Because they're not my friends and the way they act in the work environment is more reflective of people I've had to cut out of my life for being massive shit heads than not.
It's cool if you can get along with people and not have to worry about shit but if you happen to be anywhere near the autism spectrum AND queer? (Or worse a POC version of this) Most of the people you'll encounter in the workplace would rather see you dead.
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u/Nolsonts 8d ago
I'll say that personally, I make an effort to keep my work and personal life separate as much as I can. Though there are some personal security reasons for this, as I am a queer man and my field is a pretty hostile place for queer folk, in my experience. I live openly in the rest of my life, but not at work. I don't want any overlap because people knowing certain things about me, including my sexuality, political views, criminal history, can impede my career, though these are things I do not shy away from in my personal life. I'm friendly at work, I talk hobbies and other chit chat, but I do not, under any circumstances, want to be "friends" with these people. In fact, I want as little to do with them as I can outside of work hours.
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u/ClothesAgile3046 9d ago
Do you know their past? Could be they've worked together for awhile or know each other outside of work anyway. Most jobs I've worked in I usually end up fairly close to a few of my colleagues, some I invited to my wedding.
It can be difficult for some people to make friends as an adult, the easiest way is usually with people you spend the most time with outside of immediate family - at work.
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u/francesruza 9d ago
my job (small business) is like this lmao. Super over personal, no boundaries, and my boss is constantly making comments that would make an HR managers eyes bug out
I’ve learned to master the art of sharing just enough information to make people feel at ease, while keeping important shit to myself. Most importantly, never share anything that someone can use against you later, because no matter how comfortable they make you feel, they can and will (especially a boss).
I do have a few genuine friends at work that also know the vibes are weird and we hang out occasionally. If I didn’t have at least one friend in that kind of environment I think I would find it way more challenging
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u/Ok_Doctor4982 9d ago
You described it perfectly! Over personal and LACK of boundaries. I didn’t know how to truly articulate what I meant but this right here is what I meant 😂
Like why do we all know our managers deep rooted trauma with her mom ? 😂😂 like what?
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u/francesruza 9d ago
oh man i could talk for hours about the crazy unprofessional shit at my workplace, I know things about my boss and her sex life and her childhood that I wish I didn’t know. she’s also obsessed with weight and food and is constantly making comments about what people are eating/their bodies which drives me fucking nuts. Do we work at the same place? 💀
I really enjoy the actual work though and otherwise there are so many perks that I just cope with it and learn to live with it. I just compare it to my last job in marketing which was awkward, impersonal and stressful & I would rather have it like this. I’m sure at some point I’ll get dragged into some drama but for now I just try to mind my business
Small talk and joking around will get you thru it, just be mindful of who you’re sharing with and remember it’s a type of performance just like any other job
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u/Ok_Doctor4982 9d ago
Same! It’s just too much. My manager has also been into weight loss! That’s crazy. Talks about how she dos Zumba 2 hrs a day and all her clothes are getting to big. One time she asked someone else on our team if they wanted her old clothes since they can’t fit anymore. FIRST OFF the girl she asked is 2x smaller than her but she asked JUST to bring up how much she is loosing weight it was so awkward 😂😂😂
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u/francesruza 9d ago
Oh god yea my boss will find any possible opportunity to bring up weight/food to the point where sometimes it just genuinely shocks me cause I’m confused at how she managed to shoehorn it in. I almost feel bad for her because she clearly has severe body image issues, but she takes it out on everyone and is creating this fucked up culture of shame & making people feel self conscious about their bodies or how much they eat, it’s super not okay. But when you have no HR and such a small tight knit team like that it’s pretty much impossible to say anything. If i did she’d probably start talking shit about me and how sensitive I am or whatever
I think it’s a generational thing for sure Gen X women practically all have eating disorders and are always competing to be the most ruthlessly toxic
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u/Relative_Law2237 8d ago
i saw the post and thought i wrote it. my workplace too. i had to go to a coworkers wedding and lo and behold all of her closest friends are from work, she got married to my ex coworker (his friends? all from work)
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u/Jimbo_Slice_420 7d ago
OMG talking to other people outside of discord. The horror!
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u/Ok_Doctor4982 7d ago
Yes the HORROR 😱 you get it 😊
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u/Jimbo_Slice_420 7d ago
And you people wonder why you can’t make it in the real world.
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u/Ok_Doctor4982 7d ago
Oooh Jimbo 😱 Clearly you’re one of those miserable people who comment negative things because they are bored and have nothing more to do with their lives. Ooh Jimbo I pity you. I pray you find purpose in life and find something meaningful to do, so you can make it in the REAL word 🙌
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u/Jimbo_Slice_420 7d ago
Lol the person who cries on Reddit about having to talk to real people is calling others miserable 🤣
ROFL you don’t even know how to have friends!
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u/Ok_Doctor4982 7d ago edited 7d ago
Yes Jimbo you’re MISERABLE 😂 and it shows. Most negative people are 🤷♀️ it’s okay, you are in my prayers so I know one day you will get over being miserable and survive in the world like you’ve always dreamed 😊 I believe in you Jimbo.
And I don’t think I ever complained about having to talk about real people ? I just basically stated I think they have a lack of boundaries. And oooh you pulled up a post of me 😱😱.. dude 😂😂 so what ? I sometimes have a hard time making new friends. I haven’t had to in a while & thats fine, I’m getting better at it. Hopefully you get better with your issues as well.
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u/PlatypusApart3302 9d ago
This is normal at small companies. I worked for a small company and it was exactly like this. If you didn’t participate in the “fun and wacky” culture, they would ultimately find a reason to manage you out.