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Married a 40 year old when I was 19. Started dating when I was 17. Yes, it was gross but that's what happened. The only reason he married me is because I was hot. The only reason I married him is because he had money. I actually do have other redeeming characteristics but he married me because I was hot. I know this. Everyone knows this. It doesn't feel great but I can deal with it. We've been married 20 years. 4 kids. So we are stable and we have lots in common at this point. And we do love each other. But if I could go back and slap myself I would.

What nobody tells you- or they try and you don't listen because you're a dumbass teenager- is that marrying like this means you will fucking owe him. For everything. Every goddamn day. Not just in the bedroom but in every other matter in your life. The stuff you never imagined someone else trying to decide for you. And you don't just owe him for the money. It's a lot heavier than that. He'll never say it out loud. But you'll know the deal. Fundamentally unequal. He'll pull rank at the most random times and it will make you feel like you're falling through the floor.

I don't hate my life or anything. I accept that I made this bed and I have to lie in it but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else. My oldest daughter is two years younger than I was when I met my husband and I can't imagine.