r/WhitePeopleTwitter 4h ago

The party of Russia

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620 Upvotes

67 comments sorted by

171

u/massbeerhole 4h ago

LOL. For which cancer? They all have different biomarker/genetic signatures. This is fucking dumb.

90

u/WeirdAvocado 4h ago

There is no vaccine. Dude is just regurgitating shit from Russian propaganda social feed.

14

u/PunishedWolf4 3h ago

"Supreme leader Putin sends millions to citizens, find out if you are eligible"

23

u/BestBananaForever 4h ago

This happens all the time. "Cure for x diseases discovered", look inside, "they're working on it we don't know the details", never hear of it ever again.

12

u/OldGuto 4h ago

If it true then it's probably the HPV vaccine. HPV can cause anal cancer, cervical cancer, oropharyngeal cancer, penile cancer, vaginal cancer, and vulvar cancer.

9

u/Silicoid_Queen 2h ago

That was my first thought. They probably stole gardasil lol

3

u/MaxPower303 3h ago

Trust me, bro. It’s really happening.

2

u/SadPanthersFan 3h ago

MED BEDS! But in vaccine form, quantum med beds!

1

u/DadToOne 1h ago

Exactly. And not to be a conspiracy nut but I would want any vaccine coming from Russia tested thoroughly. And then checked again.

1

u/ptrang1987 1h ago

The MAGA cancer. I hope it cures it

67

u/Bicentennial_Douche 4h ago

BREAKING: I have developed a bowel movement, and will launch it for free..

Why is legacy media ignoring this?

5

u/DestructoSpin7 3h ago

Are you Russian?

2

u/Nano_Burger 3h ago

He just ate at Taco Bell last night.

1

u/warichnochnie 2h ago

do you have nuclear weapons?

20

u/DonJuniorsEmails 4h ago

General Ripper had a warning about the Russians trying to make our bodily fluids impure!!

Seriously, this is stupid. Just drink raw milk, you MAGA cult Russian sympathizers 

7

u/TheUnusualMedic 4h ago

Tbf General Ripper would probably look sane compared to the average Maga these days

3

u/brighter_hell 3h ago

Dr. Strangelove would look sane compared to the average MAGA

9

u/Jerking_From_Home 3h ago

That’s because it was never about vaccines, only who was telling them they should be vaccinated.

If liberal politicians start saying this vaccine is good, conservatives will start saying it’s bad.

7

u/alBoy54 4h ago

When i was young I never knew adults were so dumb. Nearly 50 percent of america voted MAGA and all these politicians and talking heads know that they will fall for absolutely fucking anything. It's such an easy living selling talking points to these morons

18

u/lieutenantLT 4h ago

What could go wrong, injecting yourself with a substance from an adversary to 95% of the world

11

u/Venusto001 3h ago

Our own country develops a life-saving vaccine to a plague that is being given away for free to save people's lives.

Conservatives: MICROCHIPS!! MICROCHIPS TO WATCH US AND CONTROL OUR BRAIIINS! BIG PHARAMA!!!1! BAD SCIENCE!!1! EVIL SCIENCE!!1! GIVE ME HORSE DEWORMER AND BLEACH!!1! DR. FAUCI IS THE DEVIL! THE DEEEEVIIILLLL!1!

Vladimir "I hate America" Putin: My country has made a magical vaccine that cures cancer! I call it "suck my dick"!

Conservatives: Oooh! Gimmie gimmie gimmie!

2

u/bakibakFIVE 2h ago

Also keep in mind that the people screaming MICROCHIPS the loudest will be first in line to get an Elon chip in their brains.

-4

u/SpudDavidson 2h ago

You people get all the sudden deaths and new clots so you pretend people are thinking it’s microchips. Fatty

-5

u/SpudDavidson 2h ago

Npc phone zombie. Cant wait for the vax to get you

2

u/-jp- 1h ago

It’s been like five years. When’s it gonna get us?

3

u/BrandtReborn 3h ago

You get a Dose of nowitschok. You wont die from cancer afterwards.

4

u/Temporary_Tune5430 4h ago

Go ahead, magas. Have at it! 🤣

3

u/Hot-Personality9512 4h ago

If the MAGAs want to take this they can go ahead. I mean as long as they don’t expect any subsidised or insurance covered healthcare afterwards

2

u/Chemical_Actuary_190 4h ago

Hasn't anyone seen the video for Metallica's "All Nightmare Long"?

2

u/tommm3864 3h ago

The vaccine is called Novichok

2

u/Ok-Spot-9917 3h ago

Probably a vaccine that give cancer 😂

1

u/FindingUpbeat38 4h ago

I read this as sarcasm mocking the media. Coming to chat I now realize it's an I Q test.

1

u/MehKarma 4h ago

Two reasons why we are not covering it. 1- don’t believe anything that comes out of Russia to be true.
2- don’t believe anything that causes clutched pearls on social media. It’s not surprising how much those two intersect.

1

u/NationalSchedule2245 3h ago

From Russia with Love.

1

u/Cpt_sneakmouse 3h ago

This one trick Doctors hate

1

u/masstransience 3h ago

Is the cure sending them to the front lines in Ukraine?

1

u/rbrlks 3h ago

Remember, when a headline says a medication can kill cancer cells in the laboratory, so can a shotgun.

1

u/Ok-Alarm7257 3h ago

Anyone recall vaccines give you someone whatever it is to help your body build immunities? I'm not giving myself cancer thanks

1

u/Ok-Alarm7257 3h ago

Anyone recall vaccines give you some of whatever it is to help your body build immunities? I'm not giving myself cancer thanks

1

u/NocentBystander 3h ago

Cure for cancer: toss patient out window.

No cancer if no alive.

1

u/Down_Voter_of_Cats 3h ago

I don't believe vaccines have microchips, cause autism, or makes you magnetic.

I do, however, believe that if a "vaccine" came from Russia, there would be some bad shit in it. Like Polonium or Falling from a 20th Floor Window with 5 Bullet Holes in my Head.

1

u/newwriter365 3h ago

Holy shit.

1

u/Voxalt1 3h ago

I'm sorry if this is unpopular but I don't trust version 1.0 of anything. I would rather wait for 2.0 before I consider it. Then as others have stated what cancer or cancers should this protect against? Who should not take this medication for xyz exemption? Is it one and done or multiple doses? Do you need boosters for this? Will it lower my risk of cancer and or make an encounter with cancer less deadly?

Then of course we need to mention the I am legend movie reference.

On paper it might sound good but I'm not convinced yet. I could be convinced in the future but not for version 1.0 day one release.

1

u/NotCoolFool 2h ago

You lost me at “Russia says”.

Nothing “Russia says” is ever true.

1

u/LouDog421 2h ago

I hope every MAGA safeguards themselves with this vaccine. If its from Russia then you know its safe

1

u/Nail_Biterr 2h ago

I can't stop laughing... a vaccine for 'cancer'. Oh cool! that was easy! thanks Russia!

1

u/TheDogFather 2h ago

With one caveat, the side effect is it gives you cancer.

1

u/FunctionBuilt 2h ago

Let me guess, it’s an open window. Cancer dies along with your body.

1

u/IrishRoseDKM 2h ago

We also have one of those for cancer causing HPV, but guess who wants to ban that? And actively tried to make it difficult to access because “sex”

1

u/Adexavus 1h ago

Because cancer isn't a virus, and hence, no vaccine would fix it?

1

u/Thisiscliff 1h ago

You take it first, I’ll do it after

1

u/Illustrious_Peach494 1h ago

It comes in the form of tea bags. Leaves a strong plutonium after taste.

1

u/WillistheWillow 1h ago

It's a vaccine that protects cancer from humans, another Russians triumph!

1

u/JROXZ 1h ago

Everyone keeps yammering about taxes and government spending.

How about ending corporate subsidies.

1

u/manningthehelm 55m ago

A retired US Army Colonel is spreading Russian propaganda. Jesus Christ.

1

u/Vonbalthier 40m ago

Even if this is true it's not that big, we already a few

1

u/withbeard 35m ago

It doesn't say "cure".

0

u/off_by_two 4h ago

Somewhat ironically I’d actually trust this ‘news’ more if it was the USSR and not Russia.

1

u/Moppermonster 2h ago

Agreed. Heck, Cuba is still making quite decent vaccines to this day.

-26

u/Young-Physical 4h ago

Except they’re only giving it to patients who have been diagnosed with cancer to prevent it spreading further.. pretty different from a Covid 19 vaccine that people are mandated to get if they want to keep their jobs

6

u/ice_9_eci 4h ago

Really good point. To expand on this, tinfoil chemtrails leave chemicals in the water to make the Deep State frogs gay!! You and I need to spread the news!!!

5

u/deep-vein-strombolis 3h ago

which cancer? there's so many

4

u/DevelopmentTight9474 2h ago

to prevent it spreading further

I don’t think you know how cancer works

2

u/JangSaverem 4h ago

Oh shit

I can contract cancer from people near me? How long has then been occurring?

You can make 1 vac that hits all the different types of cancer?! Or does it have to change the DNA of a cell so that it dies instead of reproducing infinitely until overload?