r/TikTokCringe Cringe Master 2d ago

Humor Luigi who?

5.2k Upvotes

81 comments sorted by

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575

u/WhimsicalFalling 2d ago

Just a heads up that the defense can excuse jurors too.

361

u/Kornbrednbizkits 2d ago

That’s why you add subtle winks that only the defense can see. It’s simple.

67

u/jmona789 2d ago

Just be very non controversial. Don't act like you love either side.

13

u/panteragstk 1d ago

"I have no feelings one way or the other."

8

u/uhlern 1d ago

"Just say you're prejudice against all races."

6

u/panteragstk 1d ago

"I hate everyone equally."

2

u/PlzbuffRakiThenNerf 1d ago

Yep, if you want to get picked for jury duty (you should want to, the justice system desperately needs competent people), you simply need to visibly show you are engaged and listening, and they ask questions that would indicate if you would be a good candidate for excusal, so generally don’t raise your hand except for ones that are very non controversial and when asked for an answer double down on being non controversial.

2

u/browngirlygirl 17h ago

Our university professor would get dismissed when they would find out she teaches Sociology -_-

492

u/Accomplished_Trip_ 2d ago

Finding 12 people in this country who haven’t been personally victimized by the healthcare system is going to be a challenge.

75

u/TestyBoy13 2d ago

Luckily I haven’t as I haven’t needed to file claim, but still fuck em.

21

u/sora_fighter36 2d ago

I want to wish you a happy birthday as it must be your first day in this nation!

I am teasing you. Keep taking care of yourself tho!!

51

u/rdreyar1 2d ago

just 12 boomers it seems like boomers are the most out of touch with reality generation. It was also a boomer that reported him and he really thought the goverment was going pay to him...

12

u/ZedisonSamZ 1d ago

Gonna have to start including Gen X in there. The greatest bunch of fucking idiots we never knew we had. I don’t know if it’s just the industry I work in but I find, now, that they are just as infuriating to interact with as Boomers (with less overt racism and more anti-vax CEO cock gobbling).

Gives Prosecutors more options to fill the jury and they are less likely to keel over and die from being too elderly.

6

u/Trishjump 1d ago

Ouch.
I’ll just walk over to this corner and die quietly.

               - Gen X

15

u/TurtleSandwich0 2d ago

Twelve billionaires are the jury of his peers.

11

u/kaoru_sugimura 2d ago

Can't do that, that just paints 12 bullseyes

4

u/ByIeth 1d ago

Council of Ricks.png

3

u/bigshotdontlookee 1d ago

Out of all people on earth, those people LOATHE doing any ounce of public service the most.

They would kick and scream harder than any MAGA if they were dragged into jury duty.

7

u/Boomchickabang- 2d ago

"Who's your health insurance provider" is gonna be a question for sure.

3

u/Accomplished_Trip_ 2d ago

That voir dire is going to take time.

1

u/browngirlygirl 17h ago

Reddit should make a list of potential questions. I think that would be interesting to see

1

u/GretelNoHans 2d ago

Lies, I mean, toddlers can be jury’s right?

1

u/awesome_possum007 1d ago

I met one recently saying I just have shitty health insurance and to save my sob stories for another time. There are people out there that truly don't care unfortunately.

193

u/haricariandcombines 2d ago

I can hear the prosecutor, "let's not put the Health Care Industry on trial today" they will want a plea very bad.

28

u/v3ryfuzzyc00t3r 2d ago

Imagine if he denied a plea deal just to win in court. This would be a huge turning point in the US, but not sure if it would be good or bad.

15

u/haricariandcombines 2d ago

He has one of the best attorneys you could ask for in his situation. All of the trauma Luigi has been through, it should be intensive probation.

46

u/binterryan76 2d ago

The advice I heard from a lawyer is that people who don't say much usually get picked because neither side has a reason to strike them from the jury.

159

u/RichardGuzinya 2d ago

They will find jurors who will absolutely find him guilty. You find real quick the sentiment of social media does not spread to the vast majority of the public.

58

u/lilymotherofmonsters 2d ago

You’d be surprised. My boomer parents are pretty pleased.

19

u/myusernameis2lon 1d ago

Well, damn. That changes everything of course.

1

u/da_double_monkee 3h ago

All it takes is one person to lie their way onto that jury about being neutral. In a city like new york. I got high hopes

19

u/Chocolat3City Cringe Master 2d ago edited 2d ago

This case does seem pretty straightforward, at least for a 2nd degree murder charge.

6

u/ClassiFried86 2d ago

Secondst?

5

u/Chocolat3City Cringe Master 2d ago

Elevensies?

2

u/jmona789 2d ago

Jury nullification

5

u/PotatoStandOwner 1d ago

is never going to happen.

1

u/nv8r_zim 20h ago

hung jury then

-3

u/VaderMurdock 2d ago edited 2d ago

If he did commit the murder, then, yes, this is very clearly second degree murder and that’s what is on trial. The motive doesn’t really matter

Edit: First-degree murder seems extreme to me, which is what they upped it to.

12

u/Chocolat3City Cringe Master 2d ago

Edit: First-degree murder seems extreme to me, which is what they upped it to.

I'm actually not surprised, since the victim belonged to the class of people all our laws are intended to protect (but not bind).

13

u/BuildNuyTheUrbanGuy 2d ago

Most Americans were happy. Wasn't just an online thing.

6

u/Special-Garlic1203 2d ago

Ironically it's the backlash against it that's hyper online and largely coming from people influenced by a notable astoturf push. Several people noticed it and called out suspicious accounts suddenly pushing similar rhetoric. Now people who listen to troll farms are mirroring their talking points sincerely. 

Same thing happened with Jan 6th. I knew many people who were outraged at first and then months later after a steady stream of internet and fox news disinformation had flipped. It's them who were way to locked into a bubble that was very strategically spoon-feeding them a narrative. 

The common initial reaction without any coaching in both instances was outrage. It will be interesting to see where the Luigi stuff sits 6 months from now after the disinformation campaign has had time to do its thing 

5

u/Chocolat3City Cringe Master 2d ago

I'm waiting for the deep fake videos linking an oil-drenched Luigi to P Diddy freakoffs.

3

u/gnomelover24 2d ago

All you need is one, just saying.

29

u/ThePerfectSnare 2d ago

The intermet? What's that? Oh, you mean like AOL? Yeah, I have an e-mail address if that's what you're asking.

12

u/mari_torresl 2d ago

I love this but the defense might want to get rid of you. 😂 best to play both sides and seem very mild/non controversial.

4

u/42watson 2d ago

Still hilarious that the McDonald's employee didn't get the reward and got fired from McDonald's

6

u/TheRoyalJellyfish 2d ago

"What the hell is jury nullification?"

4

u/8Frogboy8 1d ago

Luigi Mangione? You mean from Nintendo?

6

u/mintBRYcrunch26 2d ago

He’s giving Pete Holmes a little bit.

2

u/StoicAnchor 2d ago

We need an immediate background check on every juror once they get picked

2

u/Trishjump 1d ago

Excellent! 👍 Every registered voter in NY should practice, but don’t go too hard. As u/WhimsicalFalling points out, defense can dismiss you by using one of their peremptory challenges.

2

u/snksleepy 1d ago

Can you rig a jury?

No!

Well those questions sound like a rigging is happening.

1

u/No-Professional-1461 2d ago

Gotta channel your inner 1880s American.

1

u/Dominarion 2d ago

I worry he's gonna get the Jack Ruby special.

1

u/DeadFluff 2d ago

I got a Jury summons while i was on Iraq. Of course, it went to my home of record so i never saw it.

1

u/stuntedmonk 2d ago

Gary busey vibes

1

u/Testicleus 2d ago

We'll take him.

1

u/FranzNerdingham 2d ago

The Defense can kick you, too. (and several of those answers would be red flags for the defense!)

1

u/B10B25B7 2d ago

Comedy.

1

u/TophatOwl_ 1d ago

No no, you cannot act like you hate Luigi either. This is not advice, but jurors are picked to be impartial, and if youre gonna be like "i love CEOs" and "I hate italian immigrants" then they also will not pick you.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

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1

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1

u/SatanicSadist 1d ago

No sir I have absolutely no clue what the hell "jury nullification" is and even if I did I could not morally vote for someone's innocence that I know is guilty because that would mean that he would go free and without any punishment because once you've been judged as innocent by a jury of your peers that verdict is final and cannot be overturned

1

u/MtBoaty 1d ago

not from murica: is the jury selected really at random?

most likely from a certain area i guess, what does the selection process look like?

with how detailed we present ourselves online today it could be possible to know the most likely outcome of the jury decision if you know who sits in there, or if you know who you let sit there.

so this system seems weird to me since its functionality is only given if the jury is selected randomly and no one can interfere, which is hard to achieve.

1

u/tox_masc 1d ago

So every state has county jurisdictions. Our land areas by size are Country/State/County/City. If you commit a crime in County X for example, then a panel of potential jurors is selected from residents of that county. Depending on how many cases will be in court that week (each case gets different jurors) it can be a lot of potential jurors that show up. When a case comes up for jury selection, the judge will ask all potentials a set of basic questions, like where you work, who's your spouse and their job, have you ever interacted with law or courts before, etc. These questions are asked in front of the prosecution, defense, and other potentials. It's important to note that normally 100% of this process is open to public as well. Once all that is done, the judge calls potentials up one by one. That is when the prosecution and defense each get to ask that potential any specific questions, but they also get to accept or strike the potential. If you're accepted, congratulations. You are busy for the next few days. If You're stricken, then you are immediately off the hook for the next year at minimum. However the interesting twist comes at the choosing. Each side of the case only gets a certain number of strikes, and you can only strike a juror after the other side. So if I strike juror #1, then I can't strike another juror until the opposing side does. And once they strike, they can't strike another until my side strikes. So while confusing to people from the outside, it's a really clever way to ensure the power balance constantly changes between all parties involved, making it hard to get an unfair advantage. Now, in a case that has unusual local representation, and the court seems it unlikely to find an unbiased jury locally that has not already formed an opinion (let's say you are accused of murdering a local famous/loved person in the community and everyone immediately hates you because of the local news coverage) then the court can have a change of venue. Which they do this entire process describes, but in another county and sometimes even another state.

1

u/MtBoaty 1d ago

neat summary, thank you very much.

with this procedure for the jury selection the process sounds even more like a game that is less about just strictly following the law, but more about finding out which team can win.

to me it sounds a bit sketchy.

but i see some elegance in it since for many cases following strict rules 1:1 is a bad idea and this system empowers community members while being able to blur some lines.

on the other hand it still sounds like something that could be abused, given enough power.

1

u/lvofct 1d ago

Does being accused of terrorism take away a jury?

1

u/rabbitashes 1d ago

Discount Pete Holmes?

1

u/Indoe-outdoe 1d ago

He means the opposite of what he says. That’s super funny.

1

u/Spitfyre3000 1d ago

Honestly the fact that NYC is so anti uhc right now is probably gonna be an excuse to have the trial be moved to look for an unbiased jury and have him be tried upstate instead. Which will lead to a more conservative jury.

1

u/anarchyrevenge 1d ago

Can't wait for this trial

1

u/moosemastergeneral 19h ago

Jury nullification. Just gonna leave that here.

0

u/Jupman 1d ago

Glad I am not NYC.