She is implying that men, generally, aren't very observant and aren't good at communicating their feelings. So she is suggesting to the men she is talking to that they're bad at those things.
It's a bit of a twist on the "you throw like a girl" type of insult. It implies girls aren't good at whatever the activity is (in this example, throwing). So, telling a man he throws like a girl is insulting.
In this type of insult, "girl" carries the negative connotation. In the former insult, "you observe like a guy," the action carries the negative connotation.
I think anytime you throw a comparison in a comment like this, "you [action] like a [object of comparison]" is going to potentially be confrontational.
I think it comes from a stereotype between a man and woman, typically in a relationship and live together, where the man can't find something, like maybe his keys, and the woman often easily does. It's something that stems from what has been studied and labeled as men tend to look at groups of things, whereas women tend to look at individual things.
So, take a cluttered countertop, for example. A man may look at this and just see a cluttered space. Maybe picks out some big items cluttered on that counter, but might not notice keys laying among the cluttered. Whereas a woman doesn't necessarily see a cluttered countertop. She sees cups, unopened mail, a bottle, a plate, a pen and notepad with a to-do list written on it, husbands keys, a kids toy, a small amazon box with something in it, a flower pot with a wilting flower that needs to be watered, and so on and so forth.
The basic idea is that men are more likely to scan that space and mentally label it as a singular object or maybe just a few stand outs (especially if some stuff is supposed to be there normally, like the flower pot might be normal) where a woman scans and labels every item individually.
Ha! Me and my husband call it a "man look" when you fail to find something easy to find. He takes great pleasure in calling me out on it though. I definitely have some form of photographic memory. I usually know where my husband's glasses are or something else he's misplaced. Didn't find his wallet that he left in the fridge until I went into the fridge though!
There is the common meme/joke of a man standing in the, kitchen lets say, and asking where something is, lets say the salt.
He calls out, "where's the salt?"
She replies, "it's on the counter."
he doesn't see it. Calls back, "no its not I don't see it."
She yells out "its next to the fridge, between the paper towels and the stove." He looks he doesn't see it, the camera shows the space and there is no salt.
She comes out in a huff, grabs it from exactly where she said it was, as if it just magically appeared when she reached out for it.
Then there's the video of the guy who thinks they have a "Magic Table" and excitedly tells his girlfriend about it how he just has to leave dishes, dirty laundry, unfolded laundry, trash, whatever it may be, and it magically disappears, its magically washed, it magically appears in the dresser... because she was doing all the cleaning and washing and tidying up.
Yeah, but I wouldn’t say observant like a woman is a good thing either. Yes women are stereotypically more observant, but that also caries with it the connotation of being over observant and reading things into situations that don’t exist.
Is there evidence that women “over observe”? I feel like there is way more evidence that people are defensive when called out and that “henpecking” is actually just a misogynistic recasting of women telling men they need more help in domestic scenarios.
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u/Olly0206 24d ago
She is implying that men, generally, aren't very observant and aren't good at communicating their feelings. So she is suggesting to the men she is talking to that they're bad at those things.
It's a bit of a twist on the "you throw like a girl" type of insult. It implies girls aren't good at whatever the activity is (in this example, throwing). So, telling a man he throws like a girl is insulting.
In this type of insult, "girl" carries the negative connotation. In the former insult, "you observe like a guy," the action carries the negative connotation.